BDSM: A Different Perspective

[rida]

...

It does make me a little batty when people say, this is what X means to me. X can mean something completely different to you, but this is what X means to me. Well, great, but if we all decide to create our own definitions for words, we will eventually have a hard time communicating with each other.

Whether 24/7 requires state of mind or actual presence, we are talking about power exchange. Not the desire to make someone happy. Most people I know in successful relationships would say they want to make their partner happy.

Yep, what she said.

The points made so far are all very well stated. But in the optic of having the PYL in their mind all the time, the PYL happiness as a goal all the time, the PYL teachings in their mind all the time and feel submissive to the PYL all the time, that could be said for almost all folks in a PE relationship.

It is nice to make definitions more inclusive, but than you lose the value of having a definition. So I'll stick to 24/7 to mean living together at least most of the time, AND/OR being on call/duty most if not all the time.

Still not taking away from how each of you feel. And how you want to use the definition.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Please don't throw things at me, but I thought 24/7 meant you lived together and lived D/s 24/7.

i think this is a good point. i do think there is a difference between living with someone TPE and long distance TPE. i have done long distance TPE and i cannot imagine it being the same as 24/7 - live in the same house - TPE.

In my mind TPE means you would do whatever your Dominant asked of you. 24/7 means you live with them and serve them basically all the time or almost all the time. i don't think TPE and 24/7 are the same thing at all.

i dunno whether or not the LDR i am in right now is TPE because it hasn't been tested and maybe never will be. i like doing as i am told, without question. i don't like thinking He would ask me to do something i might not be able to do and i don't mean anything physical or sexual... i mean things like putting my children or finances at risk. On the other hand He would never ask those things so does it matter? maybe...

When it comes down to it if i am honest i am not in a TPE now and will probably never be. There are certain things not up for debate although i have never spelled them out. i like the illusion of TPE. i like to go to my little girl fantasy land where i completely and utterly surrender and do whatever Daddy tells me. There are, however, certain things that would trump even my Daddy. He does not want those things but the fact that they are there will always exist and i don't believe it is fair to those who truly are TPE to claim the same for myself.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Please don't throw things at me, but I thought 24/7 meant you lived together and lived D/s 24/7.

Don't throw things at me either for contradicting myself (i'm under the influence of too many bloody marys) BUT

i do think it is POSSIBLE for long distance 24/7 i just don't think it is that common.

When you think about pleasing your PYL ALL the time that's 24/7 even if you can't/aren't physically together very much.

Is it the same as living together 24/7? i kinda doubt it. It depends. If you spend enough time together to have an inkling what living together would be like then yeah i kinda think it is pretty similar and not fair to say i'm more 24/7 than you because i live with my Dominant.

i have not spent nearly enough time with Daddy to know what real 24/7 with Him would be like. For me its not even close to being the same. i LOVE being with him and want to be with him always but because we are LDR and don't see each other much we simply do not have to deal with the day to day stuff and the whole thing is very different.

Do i think its possible that MIL is 24/7 TPE? yup... most definitely.

Some things you just KNOW... like false labor versus real labor. The first time you might think you "know" you are real in labor only to find out you really aren't and then when the real thing happens you really really know it. For things of the heart no external person can really judge.

 

[nh23]

Dude, I'm 24/7 M/s with my girls, and I can't imagine being serious all the time. We joke and laugh and have a good time. Sure, there are times when things are deadly serious, but there's a whole lot of silly fun. To be frank, the long-term M/s couples that I know are usually light-hearted and playful quite a bit. I've seen more constantly serious D/s relationships than I have M/s ones *shrug*

The key to 24/7, as mentioned in the first post, is that the pyl feels submissive 24/7, and the PYL feels dominant similarly. If the relationship has those elements in play 24/7, it's 24/7. That's pretty much it. There's no seriousness requirement, or need to say "Master" all the time. It's basically all about how each person feels towards the other in the relationship.

Geeze, I would be so frikken bored with constant seriousness. Ugh.

This pretty much describes how we are too. We joke around and have fun. But, I have to admit, and I've said this before. I used to have the same misconceptions myself, it almost kept me from entering into a M/s relationship. The key is Master has the power in this relationship. If he tells me to do something I don't want to do...I'm going to do it. But he has times when he won't ask because he's considered my emotional state etc.. He told me once that I was his slave without question, but his number one priority was my health and my heart (emotional state) Just the other day after working a 50 plus hour week, he gave me a two hour massage. Sometimes he lets me sleep in and gets the kids off to school. Doesn't make it any less M/s. I'm sure it's not amusing for porn..but it's how real life works for us.

 

[Puman]

I'm sure it's not amusing for porn..but it's how real life works for us.

I think you hit the nail on the head right there.

 

[Bandit58]

I guess you could say we are 24/7 D/s. We've lived together for nearly 5 years, married for almost 2.

First and foremost, this is a relationship. The kink is the icing on the cake I consider what I do for Him to be part of service along with the bondage and blowjobs.

Most of the time I'm caring for Him, but now and then the boot is on the other foot, e.g. a week ago I had a mild case of food poisoning. I totally lost my appetite and felt quite off colour along with cramps and having to run to the toilet a couple of times. He kept checking on me and made me a cuppa and generally looked after me - quite a change!

There's lots of laughter and joking in this house. We have fun together A relationship is meant to be fun, otherwise what would be the point of being together

Although we met online, we never did online D/s (apart from a couple of phone calls, so that this complete novice at the time could get a "feel" for being dominated ). The few months before we met were spent in getting to know each other in preparation for our initial meeting. At the risk of offending people, I see no point in an online relationship unless there is a distinct possibility of real time interaction and hopefully making things permanent.

It's basically all about how each person feels towards the other in the relationship.

And there it is, in a nutshell