Being Shared

[ownedsubgal]

my Master is not always present when i serve another man, though i can understand that being a necessity if the purpose is humiliation of the sub/slave. the purpose in my being used by other men is to fulfill my purpose as a total slut and submissive to all....i'm there to serve the needs of men even when no one else will/can. so, my Master does not have to be there. but he always knows who i am with, exactly where i am, and can always get to me quickly. he also communicates with whoever's using me via telephone throughout to check up on me as well as to ensure i'm being used properly. i'm an extremely shy person, and not generally comfy around people, but i have no problems with being alone serving a man sexually. serving is my comfort zone, and i can kind of "escape" in that. what makes me uncomfy is if the man attemps to have casual chit chat with me, or things of that nature. but if he gets directly to serving and nothing else, i am fine.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I can relate to your extreme shyness as that is me also......adds to Master's attraction in having me used by others. Like you, apart from the humiliation he induces, he seeks to have me realise my responsibility to be his slut to please any man he chooses.

At this point he chooses to be present as a safety precaution and part of my training process. He is also aware it increases my shame at times. Whether this will continue is up to him. It has been a policy he adopted from the beginning of our discussions on this topic of my useage, but sometimes things change due to relevant circumstances.

I also prefer not to have to converse with the men who will use me outside of defining what they require, but to date it has surprised me the number of men who despite being offered a sexual experience without the necessity to have a relationship or foreplay, still feel they have to 'keep up appearances'so to speak. Perhaps this too will change in time and with my gaining more experience.

c

 

[ownedsubgal]

"I also prefer not to have to converse with the men who will use me outside of defining what they require, but to date it has surprised me the number of men who despite being offered a sexual experience without the necessity to have a relationship or foreplay, still feel they have to 'keep up appearances'so to speak."

gosh i can relate to this so well! i also found it unusual that when offered a slut to use as they wish, with very few limits, that many men still feel the need to "court" me, or seduce me. they wish to take me out, or have these long conversations with me about nothing in particular, to "get to know" me, and often even while they are using me, they will ask, "is this alright?", "am i hurting you?"...it's quite funny really, lol. but i've only had these experiences with the vanilla men my Master has me serve, i guess the Dominants are more understanding and realize that all that other stuff just isn't necessary. but my Master will tell any man who is to use me, she is there to serve, don't feel the need to make smalltalk with her or anything of the sort. just use her. but i guess it's difficult for some to shake off those old vanilla habits.

 

[Etoile]

Originally posted by ownedsubgal
but i guess it's difficult for some to shake off those old vanilla habits.

Well, it's also possible that the vanilla guys don't understand a submissive's potential position as a sex toy. They might be seeing you as a person, an equal, somebody they should be polite to.

 

[Etoile]

This just occurred to me - I'm not saying you're not a person, ownedsubgal! I hope you knew what I meant. Just in general, y'know?

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Ya know....

What is weird is I have never wanted tp please anyone but my "Owner" so therefore the thought of being used by someone other than my Owner has never entered my mind. On a few seperate occassions i have participated in 3sums and the like (at my Owners command) but I never really enjoyed them and only did it as a way to show my submission.
for me, the joy of a D/s relationship is in finding the one Dom/me
who will open me to newer hieghts and longer lasting sensations. I get a thrill from pleasing the one I love and no matter what, i do what is asked of me. But as a personal choice, if i have a say, then the answer for me would be no.
The chance is there, that no matter what the discussion is beforehand, S/some one's feelings could end up muddied. And that is a risk I would rather not ever have to take. Just my .2

 

[sub princess]

For the submissives.

Have you ever been shared? If so, what kind of mental issues did you have to deal with during and after the act. What acts were there? Did you start off with something light and get heavier or more physical in later encounters? Was there any noticeable change in your Dominant afterwards? (Even if he maybe denied having any change in feelings/actions)

Obviously if anyone has anything else to add, feel free.

Thank you slvjenn for starting such an interesting thread. i am still pretty new to D/s (in real life anyway), this is my first 'real' relationship, so no, i have never been shared. But, after reading this thread i have done some thinking on the subject, and also asked Master what His thoughts were.

As i sat and thought about what it would be like, or how it would feel to be used by A/another, one thought kept coming to my mind. "i am His, i belong to Him.... so if it would please Him to 'share' me, then it would of course please me." i am by no means ready for this right now however, as i am still training to learn and know His everyday pleasures. But in time, if this was to be one of His desires, i would gladly be 'used' by S/someone E/else to make His pleasure mine.

Master owns my heart, mind, body and soul.... It would simply be my body that He shared with A/another.

i do hope that this makes sense, as i said, i am just now starting to ponder such circumstances.... i am sure that i will have more to offer on this subject as time passes, and i continue to grow and evolve.

Thanks again slvjenn... i just love a topic that poses a new and interesting concept to me.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Well, it's also possible that the vanilla guys don't understand a submissive's potential position as a sex toy. They might be seeing you as a person, an equal, somebody they should be polite to.

that is probably true, but that's sort of the "vanilla habits" i was talking about. men doing what they think they're supposed to, as opposed to what comes naturally to them. my use is about men being themselves fully, fulfilling that inner core within them, that in vanillas is usually repressed. i just wanna tell 'em, stop thinkin so much, and just feel! lol

btw, i knew you weren't saying i wasn't a person, lol

 

[catalina_francisco]

What is weird is I have never wanted tp please anyone but my "Owner" so therefore the thought of being used by someone other than my Owner has never entered my mind. On a few seperate occassions i have participated in 3sums and the like (at my Owners command) but I never really enjoyed them and only did it as a way to show my submission.

This is precisely the point. As slaves used to please others, it is not our desire to please another outside of what our Master would want. we do not suddenly decide we need another sexual partner or 10 and then go about making it happen. It is our owner's choice and decision and as we are who we are, our only choice in the matter is to please him, and this is the way he chooses for us to do it.

As to hurt feelings etc., they are`the responsibility of the D to take into account and be responsible for. In my own relationship, we have an agreement that no matter what I am expected to do to please Master, any negative outcomes for either of us will be handled by both of us in a supportive and non-blaming way.

"i am His, i belong to Him.... so if it would please Him to 'share' me, then it would of course please me."

This is well said. the only pleasure I derive from the experience is the knowledge I am pleasing my Master in the way he commands, and that he trusts me enough to allow me to experience other men even in this non relationship way which a lot of men would see as taking too big a risk of losing the one they love and treasure above all else.

catalina

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

This is precisely the point. As slaves used to please others, it is not our desire to please another outside of what our Master would want. we do not suddenly decide we need another sexual partner or 10 and then go about making it happen. It is our owner's choice and decision and as we are who we are, our only choice in the matter is to please him, and this is the way he chooses for us to do it.

As to hurt feelings etc., they are`the responsibility of the D to take into account and be responsible for. In my own relationship, we have an agreement that no matter what I am expected to do to please Master, any negative outcomes for either of us will be handled by both of us in a supportive and non-blaming way.

"i am His, i belong to Him.... so if it would please Him to 'share' me, then it would of course please me."

This is well said. the only pleasure I derive from the experience is the knowledge I am pleasing my Master in the way he commands, and that he trusts me enough to allow me to experience other men even in this non relationship way which a lot of men would see as taking too big a risk of losing the one they love and treasure above all else.

catalina

Ya know, you said it much better than I ever could have. I think for me...the pleasure is in doing what is asked/commanded/needed...and not in whom I am doing it for. Alas, since i am Ownerless now, it will be a while before i have anyone to fulfill me that way but your post pointed out alot of what i could not express. Thank you....(and another thought...what is weird to me...that my female Owners never wanted to share me...but my male Owner did..I wonder why that was???)

 

[catalina_francisco]

Catalina has asked me to share my views on sharing since there have been only limited feedback out of the Dom side. I of course can not speak for other Dominants be it Female or Male just for myself.

By sharing Catalina I can show my control over her. Catalina does not like being shared. She does not get personal gratification of being used by others. This is partly one of the reasons I like sharing her, the fact that she actually does not like being shared, the fact that she actually does not want others be it men or women, makes it al the more interesting to me.

The higher the sacrifice Catalina makes for me the bigger the kick that I get out of it, the greater the pleasure she gives me. It is that kick, the rush of having absolute control I search, I want from here. I can get that kick, that rush in several ways not only by sharing her of course.

There are more reasons for wanting to share her, it humiliates her to be used in such a way, and I find humiliation arousing. Humiliation is often a subject which shunned by majority, often a sense of shame surrounds it.

Also there is this childhood fantasies some men have about owning a whore, o women so depraved that you can loan her to friends and strangers alike. To own such a women is a to a specific kind of men, which I am one of, a very strong aphrodisiac.

Not that I do not have the highest respect for Catalina, she is my partner in everything, we are married and I am extremely in love with her. But she is also my slave and that is her most important role. To outsiders it is almost impossible to understand how you can have so much love and so much respect and trust in someone and still want to exert that kind of control. This is my character; this duality is often found in many dominants. We can love to the fullest a slave or partner and still demand them to fulfil our fantasies, pleasures and darkest dreams.

There are more reasons for me to share my slave with others, besides the control, the humiliation and the fulfilling of a fantasy. I have absolute and total control over Catalina; the fact that she might have a limit which I do not have is reason enough for me to push that limit, to train it out of her. I feel that Catalina should only have the limits I want here to have. I am not saying that I will just simply speak some magic words and they are gone, what I am saying is that together with her we should remove her limits, make it possible for her to do this, so that she becomes even more mine. This is my vision of total power exchange, to remove all the power, all the control my partner has, to take total and absolute control over her. To be able to treasure her to put her on the highest pedestal possible and then the next instant to make her into a whore who is used by the foulest of men just because I so fancy it that day.

This was also one of the reasons I had in sharing Catalina, she did not want to be shared, and it was one of her limits. So this made it a challenge for me, a mountain to climb, a fort to be conquered. Slowly after lots of talking, and soul-searching we took the first step and I shared her for the first time. It was not only Catalina’s first time to be shared but also my first time I shared one of my slaves. With Catalina it was for the first time I felt so secure in my love and my trust that I did not feel any jealousy.

This is of course very important for the sharing, the dominant must be strong enough and secure enough of the relationship to be able to see other men enjoy his property and still realize that she is actually not enjoying this at all. In Catalina’s case I have had to order her to fake orgasm with other men even since she was simply not enjoying it. To the men making use of her gorgeous voluptuous body it enhanced the experience by thinking that they actually where capable of giving pleasure to her. It would have made it a lot easier for me and her if she actually could physically enjoy the sex with others; I am still hoping that one day she will be able to overcome that limit.

My final advice for any couple thinking of doing this, make sure you have talked about every angle you can think of. Know the reasons why the dominant wants this, and if the submissive wants to do it, be able to explain to your top why and how. If you try it and it fails make absolutely sure beforehand that there will be no consequences for the bottom or the top and that the relationship can handle some bumps.

F.

 

[DiannaVesta]

What an excellent thread with so many intelligent replies.

Sometimes talking about during sex or scene is enough. I think it's important to do this first. If your sub is blindfolded you can really play with this, using her/his imagination.

Jealously is a strange thing. It affects everyone differently and it could ruin a relationship & trust.

DV

 

[Bachlum Chaam]

that is probably true, but that's sort of the "vanilla habits" i was talking about. men doing what they think they're supposed to, as opposed to what comes naturally to them. my use is about men being themselves fully, fulfilling that inner core within them, that in vanillas is usually repressed. i just wanna tell 'em, stop thinkin so much, and just feel! lol

btw, i knew you weren't saying i wasn't a person, lol

What happens if maybe a man knew you were uncomfortable with small talk,made you do it anyway,as you are at his beck and call?

Just a thought!
Bachlum Chaam

 

[catalina_francisco]

What happens if maybe a man knew you were uncomfortable with small talk,made you do it anyway,as you are at his beck and call?

As my primary purpose is to please my Master, and his wish is I do not overly converse with those I am shared with or form a relationship, so their desire to make me talk is of no consequence and must not be catered to by me outside of what Master would find acceptable. As Master is present at such times he is able to prevent anyone forcing me to do anything he has forbidden. He also makes it clear before the meeting that participants must abide by his guidelines or risk immediate expulsion.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

Oooooo, expulsion. Sounds like such a naughty word!

 

[bunny517]

I've been wondering about this a lot lately and while I've seen some threads about it, none seem to really answer my exact questions. I suppose my question can't actually be answered so I'll just ask for opinions and speculation.

For a long time now I've had a fantasy where I'm shared. Used by various people or made to perform on or for various people.

I've shared the fantasy with him, and we both agreed that we weren't ready for it.

I think now I'm getting to the point where I REALLY want to see what it's like. But, I am scared. On one hand I think that it would be erotic like crazy, but on the other hand I fear how I'll feel after the fact. Then of course there is the issue of how HE will feel afterward.

So the Question to the doms is...

First, have you ever done this with your subs. If so, how did it affect your relationship after the fact? If you haven't and the desire is there, can you share reasons why you haven’t?

For the submissives.

Have you ever been shared? If so, what kind of mental issues did you have to deal with during and after the act. What acts were there? Did you start off with something light and get heavier or more physical in later encounters? Was there any noticeable change in your Dominant afterwards? (Even if he maybe denied having any change in feelings/actions)

Obviously if anyone has anything else to add, feel free.

Yes i have been shared in 2 dfferent ways. First and formost Master and I talked about this long before we ever did it. We both know that we are very secure in our relationship. So that being said. Master has lent me to other Doms/Masters for a few hours at a time.We both found this very enjoyable and helpfull in my training.Each Dom/Master is different and each sub/slave is different and you can learn so much from others.Each one that I have been with has taught me something eather about myself or this wonderfull lifestyle we live.As a slave/sub we will always learn new things if we let ourselves. Now I have also shared my Master with other slave/subs.I have learn't from those experince's as well.I have a wonderfull Master and love to share him with others.It makes him happy and that makes me happy.Is'nt that what we all want to be? ( HAPPY ) And this weekend I get to be shared for the first time with a Mistress.We have been talking for a short time but the conection I feel for her is wonderfull. I can not wait to meet her and Learn more.She will also serve my Master at somepoint this weekend I have no doughts that we will all have a great weekend together. These are just my feelings but it has worked out fine for us.It can for you too.As long as you both are secure in your realishionship... bunny517

 

[ownedsubgal]

What happens if maybe a man knew you were uncomfortable with small talk,made you do it anyway,as you are at his beck and call?

Just a thought!
Bachlum Chaam

well, if someone is talking to me, and expecting me to respond, i will respond. i do what is desired of me, that is my nature. but it would be extremely uncomfortable even to the point of being humiliating for me, and that could serve a different kind of purpose in itself, but i don't think it's something my Master would care for as it would distract me from serving to the best of my abilities, and my serving is the whole point.

unlike some others here, i do at times get pleasure from being used by other men. i also desire to be with other men sexually at times. if Daddy and i are out someplace, say at a club or party, it's not unusual for me to whisper to Daddy, "i would love to suck that man's cock". my Master loves this. my getting pleasure from serving and being used by others tickles him, but even when it is not pleasurable, he is happy, because of course, my pleasure is not the point. pleasing men by my service is the point.

 

[Etoile]

Originally posted by ownedsubgal
unlike some others here, i do at times get pleasure from being used by other men. i also desire to be with other men sexually at times. if Daddy and i are out someplace, say at a club or party, it's not unusual for me to whisper to Daddy, "i would love to suck that man's cock". my Master loves this. my getting pleasure from serving and being used by others tickles him, but even when it is not pleasurable, he is happy, because of course, my pleasure is not the point. pleasing men by my service is the point.

I've sent you a PM to respond to this, to avoid hijacking the thread by taking it in the same direction as the "bottom's credo" thread about the movie Secretary.

 

[tr65]

Serving

Have any of you subs served more than one person at a time/

Have any of you doms had your sub serve more than 1 dom at a time or had her/he "gangbanged" as a service to you to test her limits of this?

My sub is interested in your thoughts as these ideas flood through her mind and I am gathering thoughts on this.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Serving

Have any of you subs served more than one person at a time/

Have any of you doms had your sub serve more than 1 dom at a time or had her/he "gangbanged" as a service to you to test her limits of this?

Planning to

Catalina

 

[ownedsubgal]

Re: Serving

Have any of you subs served more than one person at a time/

Have any of you doms had your sub serve more than 1 dom at a time or had her/he "gangbanged" as a service to you to test her limits of this?

My sub is interested in your thoughts as these ideas flood through her mind and I am gathering thoughts on this.

yes, my Master has had me serve more than one man at a time, and he's also had me gang banged, twice. it had nothing to do with limit testing of any kind, as limits don't exist for me with my Master, it was just service, not just to my Master but to the other men as well, and occasionally, as a special treat for me.

 

[tr65]

Is gang banging considered humiliation or a service that is performed for the dom?

 

[ownedsubgal]

Is gang banging considered humiliation or a service that is performed for the dom?

that would depend on the sub/slave and on the situation. i'm sure that someone like catalina would find an experience like a gang bang humiliating, so for her Master the purpose may be humiliation. with me, although many men could use me in a humiliating manner, a gang bang in and of itself would not be humiliating in the least for me. it'd be about service, and use. my Master showing me that my primary purpose in life is to be a tool for men's pleasure.

 

[catalina_francisco]

ownedsubgal has stated it well. I would find the experience humiliating, which in turn would be a turn on as I know my Master's purpose is to humiliate me as well as have me accustom myself to being used as a tool for men's pleasure.

catalina

 

[bunny517]

Re: Serving

Have any of you subs served more than one person at a time/

Have any of you doms had your sub serve more than 1 dom at a time or had her/he "gangbanged" as a service to you to test her limits of this?

My sub is interested in your thoughts as these ideas flood through her mind and I am gathering thoughts on this.

Yes my Master has had me serve him as well as other Dom/Domme. Some when he was there and some without him. Kind of like being given away for a couple of hours.Of course he would never just give me away without trusting the other Domanant first I am doing that now. I serve my Master and my Mistress when ever she is here. They each have there own special things that they do best.That is one reason I enjoy serving other Dom/Domme. Like one Dom I serve is a rope Bondage expert. He has made me a rope dress and i have to say with the knot in the right place.. WOO HOO!!!!! There have been others I have learned many things from!!!! Serving others is not right for all but with trust it can be very excitting.....Hope this helps.... Bunny517