Can you fall in love with someone online?

[Pink_Milkmaid]

This is a fascinating thread. I read through all the posts and this one resonated so much. I've had this same type of relationship, I've played the unknowing part of the "played" before. And it changed how I look at online and at people and at life. Burn me once...

Thank you for your honesty, I hope things are going better for you and you're a more authentic person now.

I agree. This is one of the best threads on here. I just spent an long time reading and playful1's story totally resonated with me too. Cautionary tale that is all too common. Guard your emotions carefully.

 

[SweetSam42]

Hate when threads get spammed!

 

[just4friends]

true !!

Hate when threads get spammed!

How do you feel about thread stalkers?

 

[SweetSam42]

How do you feel about thread stalkers?

They can totally stick around. Now, back to the topic!!

 

[boo56]

One can get pretty confused about what one feels toward someone online. I know that.

 

[RobertisHorny]

Yes you can.. I once did fall in love with someone online..We were Roleplaying on a different site. She was my partner in the story.. And she was flirting with me the whole time. It was not until we started talking on the phone ( after many emails ) that i found out that she was flirting with me and we really did love each other.. I had plans on moving to her state Etc. So yes its possible and more than likely it does happen a lot. Just for most of society its not real.. almost like having a online friend to society is not real. even though i know people who said online friends were must better than RL friends

 

[meop79]

It is most certainly possible. The telephone, internet chatting, webcams, etc. help the process along, but yes. You definitely can fall in true, deep, and abiding love with someone over the internet.

 

[mako90]

If you are a fool.

 

[Mihijo]

If you are a fool.

I used to think so, now I think you're right. It just hurts too much.

 

[TheSilverLining]

[snip] the way that written-only correspondence leaves large gaps that are all-too-enthusiastically filled in in by one's own imagination. It can be difficult for any real person to live up to this fantasy representation

(my bold)
I've read through the entire thread and this point stuck with me most.
That's all I wanted to say, really.

 

[TheSilverLining]

"Can you fall in love with someone online?"

Tricky question.

Love. I think, is entirely possible. I've loved people that I've met online. Female, mostly - In the same way that I love my IRL friends. When you get to know a person, discover mutual ground, share their confidences, etc it can be very easy for that person to come to mean a great deal to you.

A love/lust combination, I think, is also possible. I found that you can quite easily love a man (or woman) for who they are. Lust after them, without doubt. Have an entirely physical - sexual - response to interaction with someone you've never met.

However, "in love" is something a little different...In love is all of the above, plus that little something extra that you just can't achieve online. It's the tangible stuff. The physical stuff. That desire to bury your face in someone and smell them. The dance of hormones and biochemistry that makes your heart race and your palms sweat. That feeling that completely fucks with your head and overwhelms all of your senses.

I don't get an oxytocin rush from my laptop screen.

Box full of puppies? Yeah! (it's ace, trust me)
Computer? Not so much.

 

[gregy70]

I've had this debate with a few people recently, and I'm curious what others think. Is it possible to fall in love with someone you've never met? Someone you only know virtually?

I have! So Yes

 

[sexlover66]

Possible...yes absolutely.....Advisable....there i would say no. Part of onlune is you just never knowif person ypu are getting involved with is being completely truthful about themselves...its just hard to know if thats possible. Then if there is some amount of distance between you...what are the chances either of you is gonna travel to meet the other one...and then there is are you really in love with this person or is it just lust or infatuation...

Its just not something i would wanna put myself or anyone else through

 

[satisfy]

Love is a hard thing, and with the internet, there can be a different kind of connection. Sometimes that's deep and there is an allure that goes past the virtual. Other times the internet is the only place those feelings can thrive.

When I was in college I dated a girl online, and we took it into the real world a year or so later. And it was good for the time. I've had relationships I've met with people in the real world last longer, and I've had them break up faster.

Human Connections are really mysterious. Why do some people rub you the wrong way while others you can't stop talking to? To limit possibilities because of how you meet someone seems, well self defeating. Why limit yourself?

I will say that sometimes on line relationships open up quicker and more fully than in person, and that might be what leads to the intense emotional connections.

 

[ForeverDreaming]

Love is a hard thing, and with the internet, there can be a different kind of connection. Sometimes that's deep and there is an allure that goes past the virtual. Other times the internet is the only place those feelings can thrive.

When I was in college I dated a girl online, and we took it into the real world a year or so later. And it was good for the time. I've had relationships I've met with people in the real world last longer, and I've had them break up faster.

Human Connections are really mysterious. Why do some people rub you the wrong way while others you can't stop talking to? To limit possibilities because of how you meet someone seems, well self defeating. Why limit yourself?

I will say that sometimes on line relationships open up quicker and more fully than in person, and that might be what leads to the intense emotional connections.

This part is what I feel. You open up so fast, you feel a connection sooner maybe?

 

[satisfy]

This part is what I feel. You open up so fast, you feel a connection sooner maybe?

You can feel a connection sooner, and you can also find personality conflicts sooner.

Online does hide other issues, like drinking or smoking or the way they do something annoying all the time, but it also lets you paint them as a more perfect version of themselves since you don't have that constant reinforcement of reality.

There is also the question of where. Is it easier to fall in love on Lit vs a blog about your fav hobby? (not that sex can't be your favorite hobby?) I don't know. But it's another layer on the question.

 

[ForeverDreaming]

You can feel a connection sooner, and you can also find personality conflicts sooner.

Online does hide other issues, like drinking or smoking or the way they do something annoying all the time, but it also lets you paint them as a more perfect version of themselves since you don't have that constant reinforcement of reality.

There is also the question of where. Is it easier to fall in love on Lit vs a blog about your fav hobby? (not that sex can't be your favorite hobby?) I don't know. But it's another layer on the question.

Good point. I'm not sure I've asked even some that I've talked to for years if they have a problem with drugs/alcohol/smoking etc. Maybe if they talked about it a lot, then I got curious. Not so sure they'd admit that though.

 

[satisfy]

Good point. I'm not sure I've asked even some that I've talked to for years if they have a problem with drugs/alcohol/smoking etc. Maybe if they talked about it a lot, then I got curious. Not so sure they'd admit that though.

And your idea of problem and theirs could be different. I know I've only ever kissed one smoker, and that was such a turn off to me. So even if they smoke once in a while, that could be a problem to me, but not to them. But you don't see it, you don't have the butts in the ashtray in the car, you don't have the beer bottles on the desk as you chat. So you can either forgive or forget about these things.

In all relationships we see what we want. But when the visual stimulus is mainly words on a screen, it's different.

 

[hot_hunny_bunny]

I think that you can become very close but not fall in love

 

[ForeverDreaming]

And your idea of problem and theirs could be different. I know I've only ever kissed one smoker, and that was such a turn off to me. So even if they smoke once in a while, that could be a problem to me, but not to them. But you don't see it, you don't have the butts in the ashtray in the car, you don't have the beer bottles on the desk as you chat. So you can either forgive or forget about these things.

In all relationships we see what we want. But when the visual stimulus is mainly words on a screen, it's different.

In a womans case, that's because words are so important. Do you feel that's the same for men? or no?

(I am not a smoker either, so it's nasty to me )

 

[mellowyellows]

Absolutely YES

 

[satisfy]

In a womans case, that's because words are so important. Do you feel that's the same for men? or no?

(I am not a smoker either, so it's nasty to me )

Sometimes. Sometimes the ideas expressed in the words touch as much as a finger or a breath. Sometimes it feels easier to just be words, just real enough, and let her fill in the gaps and let me be perfect. Not that I'm looking for love on line, but when I was younger, that was part of the allure.

 

[Girly_girl]

I have

 

[meop79]

However, "in love" is something a little different...In love is all of the above, plus that little something extra that you just can't achieve online. It's the tangible stuff. The physical stuff. That desire to bury your face in someone and smell them. The dance of hormones and biochemistry that makes your heart race and your palms sweat. That feeling that completely fucks with your head and overwhelms all of your senses.

I don't get an oxytocin rush from my laptop screen.

Box full of puppies? Yeah! (it's ace, trust me)
Computer? Not so much.

Totally disagree. Have personally been there. Yeah, it helps to talk over the phone, web-cam, whatever... but if both people are willing, yeah it most definitely can happen...

When you meet in person after that it's not like meeting someone you've never met. It's like reuniting with a long lost love, someone you know intimately and who knows you the same way...

I used to think so, now I think you're right. It just hurts too much.

Yeah... it definitely can go this way... but so can any relationship that is conducted for any serious period of time over long distance... :/

Shrug, you pays your money and you takes your chances when you play the game of love...

 

[deathoftheoldme]

yes

I think it's definitely possible. I'm in love with someone I met on line right now. It's different then in real life cause you've never really met the person and there is no guarantee you ever will. But you can still love them wholeheartedly. There is still a person on the other side of that keyboard. There is still someone you can love there.