Can you fall in love with someone online?

[anthilly]

Love, is unbiased you can fall in love anywhere on anything, but online sometimes you fall in love with the idea of someone instead of person themselves, that is the only danger with online love, but it is as real and strong as any other love

 

[HonorableRogue]

I said I think you can choose to not fall in love with someone, not that you can choose to stop loving someone. Huge difference.

Yes you did and that's what I meant.

When I have fallen in love with someone it simply happened. I didn't get to pick to fall for someone it just happened (and I honestly usually have a very hard time picking the exact moment I knew I loved them). You can't force that chemistry and, may it's just me, but I can't seem to prevent or stop that chemistry.

It just happens.

I guess I could choose to not interact with and get to know someone I find I click with but I've never tried. Since not all clicks lead to love I'll likely never test the theory.

 

[emmy_christina]

Sam I so wanted to replay to this topic for the longest time.
And i do hope this makes sense.
For me its a Big Yes.

I see a heart as a big love place, where there is a place for everyone you love.

There is the love for your parents, your siblings.
The love for your spouse / partner.
The greatest love for your kids.
They all having a special place in your heart.

But then there is the love you have for your friends, another special place.

Then you meet LIT friends / online friends.
They become friends and you share things, start talking more…. so yes I do have online friends that I love, they have a special place in my heart. People I never met / will meet, but love with that special place in my heart. And when I know they get hurt, I m hurting to. If I can help them I will with everything that is in my power, just sometimes to send a silly mail, or a message.

But yes you so can love people you meet online.
And I for sure love some very special ones. Will we meet? Nope…. But will love and keep them in that special part of my heart. And for loving them, caring even its virtual it makes me so happy.

For getting hurt, well its the way how life is…. we get hurt by the ones we love, including the ones you love online, its life.
But will I stop loving, letting people in that special place in my heart nope.

So for me its a big yes, you can fall really love someone online.

 

[Inspirinious]

My question was whether you can fall in love without meeting in real life. I just think you only can know so much about a person via an online-only interaction and, for me, that sort of limited interaction doesn't translate to love.

I only recently discovered this thread. I have so many thoughts, it will take some time to organize and present them. However, I did want to respond to this particular post which in many ways goes to the heart of this discussion.

I disagree with Sam's position and here is my argument:

I believe that Sam is saying that there cannot be true love without physically touching someone, be it a touch of a hand, a kiss, of something more. She is, therefore, saying that physically touching is a REQUIREMENT for love.

I have tried to accurately restate her opinion on this topic this way because an online relationship can have ALL OTHER aspects of a person-to-person relationship except for the actual physical touching. I believe that two people can get to know each other in very detailed way online. You can learn their strengths, their weaknesses, the positive aspects, and their warts. It may take longer that an in-person connection, but it can be done.

I cannot accept that the feelings I have for a very few, long-time, Lit friends cannot be love simply because I have not touched them physically.

Therefore, I respectfully disagree with Sam's position.

 

[HisSecret]

Yes...I would never have believed it. It still surprises me.

 

[AlexaF]

You can, especially if you weren't looking for it

 

[dizzyegg]

Irritatingly yes.

 

[justashygirl]

Irritatingly yes.

So well put in just two words. Kudos.

 

[maverick51]

I think you can become infatuated with a person through PM's and posts, but I believe that is the door opener to mutually looking deeper in to each other. If there is good chemistry, the relationship could very well develop into love. Love is a complex feeling as most people realize.

Having been widowed and put back into the world as a single guy has certainly been an adventure....
M

 

[Leigh81]

Possibly after they're delivered by mail.

L

 

[Lilylovex64]

I believe you can with the right person. Love is love and you can love people in so many different ways, even if you can touch them or not. Love is an emotion rather than a sensation.

 

[AlexaF]

I believe you can with the right person. Love is love and you can love people in so many different ways, even if you can touch them or not. Love is an emotion rather than a sensation.

Well put

 

[Lilylovex64]

Possibly after they're delivered by mail.

L

Mail order bride?

 

[AlexaF]

Mail order bride?

Or blow up doll.....lmao

 

[BigbadBrian]

Unfortunately i can tell you that you can.

 

[Inspirinious]

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I just recently found this thread. I thought I would be able to bring fresh new insights to this topic which would greatly help clarify things.

Then I read this entire thread. Yes, every word of every post.

Now I have different, much simpler things to say.

1) For me, I like some people and I love other people (and a few I dislike). I have a broad definition of love that includes different types of love for different types of relationships which all fall under my umbrella of people I love. Included in that are people that I only know online and will only know online. And I love them very affectionately, with a lot of commitment, care, and compassion.

2) Lots of great posts here. It appears that the big question is what does "fall in love" mean to you. Obviously different people feel differently about what this means. There are many great posts on this thread that express different perspectives. And that is great.

3) As a result of (2) above, I think this thread is one of the all time great threads. It discusses a topic that everyone has opinions about. And there is NO RIGHT ANSWER! Each person's opinion is valid. As each person who posts a reply adds their opinion(s), it adds to the understanding that we all have.

A fabulous thread. Well done. Thanks to everyone and let's keep this discussion going.

 

[SweetSam42]

Thanks for contributing, inspirnious.

And yes, I give good thread.

 

[Inspirinious]

Thanks for contributing, inspirnious.

And yes, I give good thread.

I am sure that is not all you are good at giving.

 

[biguy2332]

It's absolutely possible. I've fallen hard for someone I met online. Didn't work out though.

 

[recklesswhisper]

I can't give a definitive answer of yes or no. Circumstances and people make all the difference in life.
For me, the way I see it, it isn't impossible to fall in love online or else matchmaking websites would be run out of business.
It is indeed possible for one to feel deeply connected to one they've met online, especially if you're communicating daily....divulging intimate details of yourselves... Finding out more, and more that you're alike and you feel closer to that person than you do anyone outside of Lit or online life...
I wouldn't call it either lust or love. It can be both.
I'd say a connection.
A deep connection though, that is ignited or burned out when the two people meet. Either sparks fly and its love at first, or you realize that person isn't what you've expected and you remain friends.

So it is possible to meet your best friend, soulmate, lover, whatever, online. And its most certainly to feel something deep for that person without meeting them in person. I think the meet up exemplifies your feelings and behaviourisms towards them.
But with that being said you could be in love, meet them find out they don't feel the same...
Or you realize you're destined to remain friends early on.

 

[PublicAffection]

It is absolutely possible to fall in love with someone online. And then to meet them and have the moon and stars align so that you have an incredible desire to be married and have babies and...

... then it all falls apart. You are left alone and destitute and have to move in with your great-grandparents who think that you're a tramp for getting divorced, and it all must be your fault because why aren't you pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen?

 

[Manchild2000]

Good points about communication, but online, you can convey what you want to convey of who you are. I've talked to people and had completely different experiences with them than other people have told me about their relationship with the same person. It's unsettling, to say the least.

And yes, I've seen (and not enjoyed) Her. The difference here is that in Her, the object of affection is a disembodied OS. No real person behind it. And don't get me started on how someone chooses a non-entity to love over finding an actual person. I am of the mind that you can choose not to fall in love with someone.

Interesting points. It is easier to camouflage your true self online. I didn't consider that. I would be curious why somebody would go to such great effort to do so. I would consider that an act of self loathing.

"Her" is about a disembodied OS, but I found it allegorical for our online relationships. The point at which the Joaquim Rivers character turns down the beautiful surrogate illustrated how out-of-touch with reality he had become. It could also be argued it also illustrated the purity of his love, or his inability to accept the real world. Who knows? Interesting movie though.

I do believe to fall in love is a choice. The most pure example I'm thinking is love of your child. It develops and evolves without (in all honesty) a ton of reward for the parent. Yet the parent in most cases accepts the deal and falls hopelessly in love with their child. Maybe an online relationship - over time - can develop into love. I do think it is not only possible, but that some reading this may have experienced it.

 

[Leigh81]

Or blow up doll.....lmao

Loving the Liberator esse chaise.

L

 

[sixfeetundernea]

Maybe not to the fullest extent, but I believe so. In my opinion, it would take a lot longer than face to face love. There's no physical affection, but keeping in touch, especially with Skype in my opinion can do a lot of the rest. I think I fell in love with 2 men online. I felt for them the way I have with someone else and genuinely mourned loss of contact as well as the other emotions that come with a breakup. Both of them have also shaped way I feel about dating. One I knew for a year, the other over 3 years. I often think of them as well and at one point made plans to visit them. You get emotionally invested. Catfish anyone?

 

[pfflyerhot]

I have to admit, for me there's a lot more opportunities to fall in love online than there is in my physical world. I DO know, online is NOT enough for me, though... be it love or whatever it is.