barefootgirl69
🧡 Wild Lil Cupcake
- Joined
- May 14, 2015
- Posts
- 75,935
Something to think about
SELF CARE AS SERVICE
Written by cherishedproperty at tumblr
Until my first D/s relationship, I had no idea how bad I was at certain things—things like self-care and boundaries. In fact, I’m still bad at it. Last night I worked until 2am. Tonight I’m in for at least midnight. I say yes to things that I shouldn't—work tasks, events, favors for friends. I stretch myself too thin. I hold myself to impossible standards, always focusing more on what I failed to do than what I accomplished. I do this until I crash and withdraw from everything altogether. Then I do it all over again.
None of this is a humble brag about my selflessness or altruism or any other nonsense like that. It’s a problem. The simple fact is that I don’t make room for myself. I don’t factor myself in when deciding what matters. Deep down, I don’t believe that I am worth my time or energy—not worth more than other people, anyhow. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I judge my worth based on what I do for others…and what I fail to do.
Part of this is why I hold myself to such high standards as a submissive. I believe my role is to accept my Dominant’s will and put my full effort into service, unless I absolutely can’t. I obey when it’s hard, always pushing myself do more and give more and be more for my Dominant.
You’d think that the intensity of D/s would lead to even more exhaustion and crash and withdrawal, but it doesn’t. It’s exactly the opposite. It comes down to one thing: in D/s, someone finally puts me first. Someone pays attention to my stress level and my commitments and whether I’m getting enough sleep. All the things I let slide a little at a time are high priorities for my Dominant—priorities for which I will be held accountable. Having a good, caring Dominant can feel like the Spanish Inquisition at times. But that vigilance and follow-through are how I know these things actually matter. It’s how I know that I matter.
Somehow it’s only when caring for myself becomes a need of my Dominant’s that I take it seriously. D/s creates a sort of singular focus for me. My Dominant’s needs are my priority, and my purpose is to fulfill them through obedience and service. Simple. Clear. Suddenly I can say no to that extra project or make sure I schedule a vacation day. I can go to bed early, because it’s what my Dominant needs from me.
I’m getting better at making room for myself, little by little. I try to take care of myself the way I would want a Dominant to take care of me (recent late nighters notwithstanding). But it’s hard. Good D/s doesn’t just allow me to care for myself; it requires me to do it. And requiring myself to do it? It just never feels as important.
SELF CARE AS SERVICE
Written by cherishedproperty at tumblr
Until my first D/s relationship, I had no idea how bad I was at certain things—things like self-care and boundaries. In fact, I’m still bad at it. Last night I worked until 2am. Tonight I’m in for at least midnight. I say yes to things that I shouldn't—work tasks, events, favors for friends. I stretch myself too thin. I hold myself to impossible standards, always focusing more on what I failed to do than what I accomplished. I do this until I crash and withdraw from everything altogether. Then I do it all over again.
None of this is a humble brag about my selflessness or altruism or any other nonsense like that. It’s a problem. The simple fact is that I don’t make room for myself. I don’t factor myself in when deciding what matters. Deep down, I don’t believe that I am worth my time or energy—not worth more than other people, anyhow. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that I judge my worth based on what I do for others…and what I fail to do.
Part of this is why I hold myself to such high standards as a submissive. I believe my role is to accept my Dominant’s will and put my full effort into service, unless I absolutely can’t. I obey when it’s hard, always pushing myself do more and give more and be more for my Dominant.
You’d think that the intensity of D/s would lead to even more exhaustion and crash and withdrawal, but it doesn’t. It’s exactly the opposite. It comes down to one thing: in D/s, someone finally puts me first. Someone pays attention to my stress level and my commitments and whether I’m getting enough sleep. All the things I let slide a little at a time are high priorities for my Dominant—priorities for which I will be held accountable. Having a good, caring Dominant can feel like the Spanish Inquisition at times. But that vigilance and follow-through are how I know these things actually matter. It’s how I know that I matter.
Somehow it’s only when caring for myself becomes a need of my Dominant’s that I take it seriously. D/s creates a sort of singular focus for me. My Dominant’s needs are my priority, and my purpose is to fulfill them through obedience and service. Simple. Clear. Suddenly I can say no to that extra project or make sure I schedule a vacation day. I can go to bed early, because it’s what my Dominant needs from me.
I’m getting better at making room for myself, little by little. I try to take care of myself the way I would want a Dominant to take care of me (recent late nighters notwithstanding). But it’s hard. Good D/s doesn’t just allow me to care for myself; it requires me to do it. And requiring myself to do it? It just never feels as important.
)
everyone.
