Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[Quoll]

Where does one draw the line between "being down in the dumps" due to different situations and being out and out depressed? I'm going thru alot at the moment due to circumstances beyond my control and find my self being totally down in the dumps almost all the time....so where do you draw the line?

{{{Hugs}}} to you dear lady, I'm so sorry to hear things have got you down.
Like Gil said if it is out of your control you need to try and let go of it as much as you can. (easier said than done I know)
To add to what little roundman posted.
For me I knew something was not right when I just couldn't see anyway out of my depression, I couldn't imagine a time when it would not be there.
If you can see an end to how you feel at some point in near future I guess that's where you draw the line. I truly hope you can see that place where things will get better.

 

[Quoll]

THANK YOU​

Everyone who has been posting lately it has been terrific to see the support and understanding that has been offered.

Thank you so much to Mia, Scalywag and Kittykai and any other partners of people dealing with this illness, your experiences help us to understand just what we are putting our loved ones through, how it affects them.
Yes it makes me feel guilty to read your experiences as they are so famiiar to me, but it has also helped me when the wave washes over, as I have been able to remember this and try to not inflict so much pain on my family. I can only say that in my worst moments when I lash out, and even though it is often a very personal attack, the love for my family is still there and If I could stop it I truly would.
Sometimes that is why we crave the space, as we know that if there are others around us they will feel the brunt of our anger and frustration and we do try to avoid that, oftentimes unsuccesfully.

 

[Quoll]

Quoll,

I vaguely remember reading a while back that you were looking at your biorhythm, and was wondering if you had done any more follow up on that?

I did follow them for awhile but it didn't really match up that much with the biorhythm chart, as I had some incredible downs when I was at my peak chartwise.
I still find it interesting though that the depression often comes in cycles, and it may take a better analysis than I can do to see any patterns within the biorhythm cycle.

 

[Ibsen]

Hey Ibsen,

10 months to graduation! Keep us posted on your time line! We should have a party on this thread when you finish--I'll bring the um green tea!

Hi yourself!

Of course I will keep you upptated. I will btw, also, start the company soon. I gonna sell Fair Trade marcet footballs. (REAL footbals, not american ones. )

If you are intrested in either sponsring, or bying one, mail me. It is not up yet, but give it some week, one or two, maybe, and I´ll see what I can do. Fair Trade marked means that no children has been used ion the production, and that descent payes has been given the workers. They are handmade in Pakistan btw.

 

[MercyMia]

You sure sound chipper, Ibsen. Good luck with the REAL footballs. Are you a big fan of the sport?

quoll, thanks for explaining your side of the depression fence. It helps me understand my SO a little better. It feels lonely to be separated from him by his illness (which, as I have mentioned, he doesn't acknowledge). I mean, he's there physically but he's barely recognizable.

Funny (as in funny-ironic) thing is that when he goes on business trips he is a lot more loving--he sends text messages and we have phone dates each night. Perhaps by being away from the family physically, it gives him the space he needs and then he feels he can reach out to us better.

It's so baffling. I find it easier on myself if I take it in little pieces instead of making huge, abstract decisions or observations.

 

[Ibsen]

You sure sound chipper, Ibsen. Good luck with the REAL footballs. Are you a big fan of the sport?

Thanks. Yesterday, I almost felt like hurting someone real bad. Who didnt really matters. But that might have to do with the fact that I almost ripped a t-shirt when I helped a friend to my mother move, and I hadnt eaten for about 5 hours.

I am not a big fan of the sport, but it is fun playing it, yes. Just looking isnt as fun I´m afraid.

 

[Ibsen]

I will think really carefully before I go practise-driving with my dad again... First of all we were out all too long, 3 hours, second, I could say anything, as I was fully focused on keeping the bloody thing (the car) on the road, while maintaining the right speed and checking in the rear-mirror.

Sure, it is nothing really, but for me who havent drived so particular much... Hell!

Why are there so many 90 km/h freeways? They arent even straight. I couldnt see more thern 10 meters in some areas, and I was supposed to drive in 90 km/h!

Well, some good came out of it. I was so stressed out, I didnt felt a bit embarrased when calling a girl I know that I like. After that tour, it was a piece of porridge.

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

 

[Quoll]

I will think really carefully before I go practise-driving with my dad again... First of all we were out all too long, 3 hours, second, I could say anything, as I was fully focused on keeping the bloody thing (the car) on the road, while maintaining the right speed and checking in the rear-mirror.

Sure, it is nothing really, but for me who havent drived so particular much... Hell!

Why are there so many 90 km/h freeways? They arent even straight. I couldnt see more thern 10 meters in some areas, and I was supposed to drive in 90 km/h!

Well, some good came out of it. I was so stressed out, I didnt felt a bit embarrased when calling a girl I know that I like. After that tour, it was a piece of porridge.

Hey you survived at least, whew 3hrs when you are learning, that is a long time. The thing I found with freeway driving (apart from the stress) is at least when you get off and are down to town speeds, things seem a lot slower and you can actually take in a lot of what is going on around you.
I never thought I would like driving and still find it hard to believe that I drive for a living. Stick at it, at some point it just stops being such a hassle.
And girls, that has got to make it worth it.

 

[MercyMia]

Why are there so many 90 km/h freeways? They arent even straight. I couldnt see more thern 10 meters in some areas, and I was supposed to drive in 90 km/h!

Well, some good came out of it. I was so stressed out, I didnt felt a bit embarrased when calling a girl I know that I like. After that tour, it was a piece of porridge.

Good for you, Ibsen! Maybe you need to drive more often. (Makes me wonder what you'd do after you drove in the 120 km/h freeways!)

 

[MercyMia]

I never thought I would like driving and still find it hard to believe that I drive for a living.

You do??? I didn't know that.

Scalywag, It's interesting to hear your observations about your wife. What a sensitive man you must be (despite your Lit name!).

My husband is coming home tomorrow instead of on Thursday from his trip. In a way, I'm glad. He'll have time to rest and get work done in the office before he's off next week on his next trip. But from a selfish standpoint, I sort of like having him away--he seems more able to open up and communicate from a distance.

Mia, wanting her cake and to eat it too.

 

[Tighter]

I've been sort of skimming this thread and debating posting. I know I'm depressed.. and even contemplated asking one of my friends (who works for a doctor) if she could get me some pills. I just don't want to feel bad, worthless, sad, etc. anymore.
I've driven away two friends with my paranoia, and it just seems to be getting worse. /end whining.

Thanks for letting me say my two bits.

 

[Quoll]

I've been sort of skimming this thread and debating posting. I know I'm depressed.. and even contemplated asking one of my friends (who works for a doctor) if she could get me some pills. I just don't want to feel bad, worthless, sad, etc. anymore.
I've driven away two friends with my paranoia, and it just seems to be getting worse. /end whining.

Thanks for letting me say my two bits.

Tighter that's not whining (trust me I know).

Do seek help, life can be so much better than it is.

You are always welcome to say as many bits as you like.


Negative thoughts, how do others deal with the damn things, I wonder is this the main benefit of taking medication, I'm on meds and I still have them, but most of the time I can rationalise myself out of them or at the very least just go off by myself (either physically or mentally) until they pass, it's not a perfect method and I would rather not have them at all, often I feel like I am in limbo just waiting for them to go.
Any thoughts?

 

[MercyMia]

Hi Tighter and quoll,

I understand about negative thoughts that make us act paranoid or surly or withdrawn. My day has been filled with them today. I take anti-anxiety meds as I feel I need them and they seem to calm me down. I'm just reluctant to use them every single day even though the doctor says they're not habit-forming.

Hugs to you both. I hope your day goes better than mine.

 

[Ibsen]

Hey you survived at least, whew 3hrs when you are learning, that is a long time. The thing I found with freeway driving (apart from the stress) is at least when you get off and are down to town speeds, things seem a lot slower and you can actually take in a lot of what is going on around you.
I never thought I would like driving and still find it hard to believe that I drive for a living. Stick at it, at some point it just stops being such a hassle.
And girls, that has got to make it worth it.

Yea, I survived, atleast... And the girls all makes it worth it.

(QUOTE=MercyMia]Good for you, Ibsen! Maybe you need to drive more often. (Makes me wonder what you'd do after you drove in the 120 km/h freeways!)[/QUOTE]
If I ever come to a 120 freeway when I am driving with my current skills, I am most likely to find a spot to pull over and let my parent drive.

But I am sure I will be able to drive a car soon enough. I am just not that good at it right now, thats all.

 

[Guest]

 

[Tighter]

Tighter that's not whining (trust me I know).

Do seek help, life can be so much better than it is.

You are always welcome to say as many bits as you like.


Negative thoughts, how do others deal with the damn things, I wonder is this the main benefit of taking medication, I'm on meds and I still have them, but most of the time I can rationalise myself out of them or at the very least just go off by myself (either physically or mentally) until they pass, it's not a perfect method and I would rather not have them at all, often I feel like I am in limbo just waiting for them to go.
Any thoughts?

Thoughs. Many. Unfortuantely they're on the very bad end of a dark scale. As pitiful as this sounds I'm finding less and less reasons to even bother to breathe anymore. I miss my ex. He was the reason I smiled, the reason I hesitated going to bed (the reason I jumped up when I did awake) - he was everything to me and with the words, "I need to take a step back", he managed to hurt me in ways I didn't even know were possible. What little common sense I have tells me if I don't get something for this, my life will be over. Honestly I'm scared to take medication.
If only there were a pill that could wipe out a particular person from your memory - then I think I could be happy again. I swore I wouldn't roll over and die over this guy - however it's easier said than done.
Not a day passes I wonder where he is, how he's doing, if he ever thinks of me at all, does he miss me as much as I painfully miss him? I'm very scared I won't get through this.

I haven't really been around Lit lately because of this exact reason. I want so badly to contribute helpful things here, but my mind seems to have turned on me. I used to be a writer but ever since the breakup, it's like the creativity in me is gone. I stare blankly at wordpad and curse myself that I can't be the person I once was.

*Wonders if she can get some nuts with her whine*

I will say this - it's been a good day, haven't opened a vein yet.

And thank you.....thank you, thank you to those of you with such kind words and offers of support. You'll never know how much it means to me or how much I need them.
Thank you.

 

[MercyMia]

But I am sure I will be able to drive a car soon enough. I am just not that good at it right now, thats all.

You're absolutely right! I thought about you yesterday as I was driving on a road with a 60 km/h speed limit. It was very busy and even though I've been driving for ages, I thought, "This is how Ibsen feels--too many things happening at the same time." It takes a bit of experience to develop self confidence. I know you'll get there soon. Hey, let's make a coffee date 6 months from now to see how you're doing Well, I mean a Lit-date. So around the end of February, let's have an update!

 

[MercyMia]

*Wonders if she can get some nuts with her whine*

I will say this - it's been a good day, haven't opened a vein yet.

And thank you.....thank you, thank you to those of you with such kind words and offers of support. You'll never know how much it means to me or how much I need them.
Thank you.

Tighter, you have a wicked sense of humor! Don't be hard on yourself by thinking what other people *might* be thinking about you. Instead, be your own best friend and cheer yourself on. Enough of the down talk. You're a valuable person and your pain is valid and YOURS.

Don't worry--life has a way of balancing books. You feel like you're a drain on Lit right now because you're down and can't say encouraging things. Well, when you're strong again (and I trust that you will be strong given time--maybe 3 months?) you'd better come back here and check on ME. Heh heh heh. I have really bad days, too.

Once I started a thread and asked people to post how they lifted themselves when they were at their lowest lows. I think you can still find that thread if you click on my name and check for all posts started by MercyMia. Maybe some of what people said on there will speak to you?

Anyway, here's a hug for the day...and please come back and post because I want to hear how you're doing.

 

[Ibsen]

Ibsen.....great to see those smilies and banana's in your post! You seem to be doing well.

I have my up and downs. But generally, I feel kinda good, even if I occasionaly feel really bad, and get a big contempt for the surrounding around me. But other then that, I am fine.

You're absolutely right! I thought about you yesterday as I was driving on a road with a 60 km/h speed limit. It was very busy and even though I've been driving for ages, I thought, "This is how Ibsen feels--too many things happening at the same time." It takes a bit of experience to develop self confidence. I know you'll get there soon. Hey, let's make a coffee date 6 months from now to see how you're doing Well, I mean a Lit-date. So around the end of February, let's have an update!

Yea, thats exactly it. It is like a million things happening on the freeway, even when there are no other cars around me. City-driving is a cake-walk, I can drive in my sleep just it is a road in a city.

I will deffinatly throw a big gang-bang here when I get my drivers license, promise you all that!

And then you are all to look forward for me taking my flying certificate, THEN the FUN begins!


One have to make the most of the small moments of joy you have. For example, today, the magazine of my civil defense department came, the Volentary Air Corps, or Frivilliga Flygkåren, FFK, it is published like once every quarter, and will be really fun to read. If I hadnt glasses, and was qualified to do real military serivce (we have conscription-system in sweden, wich doesnt need many persons, due to a real low budget), so I werent able to get in. But if, I wouldt atleast tried to become a pilot afterwards. Or, sure, I could probably be one now to, just not a military one. Wich isnt a problem. I dont care for whom I flies, I just want to fly.
Especially aerobatics seems like a col sport. The YAK 55 is supposed to be one f the better (best?) planes in that area. I want one. After I got my flying cert that is.

 

[christian1971]

Feeling Deeply Depressed today!

I am not sure why but today I felt myself slowly getting more and more depressed? I mean I woke up fine, eveyone know that feeling on a Friday just glad that the week is over weekend is here and all you have to do is get through the day. Well at work the more it went on the more I got depressed. To the point that I just wanted to stop what I was doing and leave, felt like I was so alone and depressed. When it was finally time to leave work all I wanted was to get home, go to my place lock the door and turn off the phone and watch TV. Since I have no friends and no one special in my life, which I know causes many of my depression slides. Even going out with my sister and 2 1/2 year old nephew didnt really help. I mean I felt a little better but still under the whole thing I was depressed.

I havent been happy in Years, haven't laughed in ages and forget how to smile. My therapy helps a little but that is once a week and group once a month was on Zolloft but that really didnt work only made me feel like I was border line or I wasn't sure how I felt? But today was the lowest I been in months.

Not happy with my life and how it's going, not happy about being single and my job. I am so confused and scared at times, my thoughts sometimes are just not good and it get harder as time goes by to get myself to at least be some what normal? I don't enjoy all the things I use too, I have stopped doing many of them since I get no joy from it. Not sure what to do anymore?

 

[MercyMia]

Hi christian, thanks for posting. Reading your entry helps me get a picture of what my husband must go through when he cycles into a depression. He says he feels numb and nothing is pleasurable. I've heard this refered to as anhedonia, which sounds sort of like losing your taste for life. I hope you find one thing to perk you up tomorrow, one small pleasure to focus on...and then the next day, maybe 2, and then 3 and then after a week...7. I'm learning to taking things in baby steps these days.

Keep posting when you can.

 

[Ibsen]

I´ve got this desire to work in africa, as a park ranger or similar. I saw a show on swedish Tv about a african national park/preserve there the rangers didnt use cars, but rode at horses during their daily tours around the park. That would seem like awfull fun actually. Thing is, I have no idea where I shall turn and apply to. Not that it is any hurry, I still have 10 monts to go, but after that...

So, I guess I better start searching?

*Edit*

After some research,. I think Park Ranger isnt a bad job for me. Its diffirent work tasks, you are often out in the nature, you carry a uniform ( ), you work alone... Man. Thing is, I will have to look extremly much, as the only park ranger-positions available, is abroad, as Sweden doesnt have park rangers. An US Park ranger is out of the question becouse of the green-card and the all, so, after that narrowing... Any one who know anything?

 

[Salv]

my computer just broke so i have nothing to do at all to even pass time anymore

its really boring, ima go nuts ><

wish something ealse was interesting but o well

i have no money to replace or fix it either and im stuck with this comp that cant do anything and leaves me hanging