Depression. Anxiety. Panic Attacks. etc

[Quoll]

It's been nearly twelve months since I started this thread and I feel the urge to go back over it and just see what has changed since then.

Has your life gotten better or worse over the last 12/6/2 months?

With the holiday season almost upon us, perhaps now is a good time to unload some of the baggage we have been carting around.

 

[MercyMia]

It's been nearly twelve months since I started this thread and I feel the urge to go back over it and just see what has changed since then.

Has your life gotten better or worse over the last 12/6/2 months?

With the holiday season almost upon us, perhaps now is a good time to unload some of the baggage we have been carting around.

My life has gotten better in the past 12 months because I've worked at it and I've learned to focus on myself and not obsess about my husband's depression.

The holidays are a stressful time. This will put my supposed newfound wisdom to the test. I'm not doing much shopping but focusing more on spending time with friends and sending out greetings, making calls.

What about you, quoll? And what about the other people?

 

[Guest]

 

[Quoll]

Mr Wag and Mia, I'm working on answering my own question, thought I had the definitive answer but things change so I'll have to do a rethink, but I do think it is a good idea to reassess just where we are sometimes.

 

[Quoll]

I stole this from the PG, it may not be PC, in fact all the more reason to post it IMO.
If we laugh at ourselves it disempowers those would do it out of cruelty.

Christmas Carols for the Mentally Ill.

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?


I'll add a holiday movie to the list.
Agoraphobia ---- I'll be home for christmas, and the day after, and the day after that, and...

 

[australwind]

Mr Wag and Mia, I'm working on answering my own question, thought I had the definitive answer but things change so I'll have to do a rethink, but I do think it is a good idea to reassess just where we are sometimes.

Has your (my?) life gotten better or worse over the last 12/6/2 months?

My life has changed immensly over the past year........partly due to this place and partly because I found myself in control at last. This year has been special in more ways than one!

I had thought all along through the years of my treatment, that I would find "the answer" ...... it took realising that there was no definitive answer to be found that liberated me I guess.

Everything changes, moves through phases....I learned to move with it and to make more informed choices based on what was important to my health and at last I started to win the battle. Small victories at first, but they gave me the strength to move on.

Ok, there are the occasional setbacks, but they are nowhere near as threatening and as damaging as they once were. Having come out the other side of something that you thought you would never survive, teaches you a great deal about the resiliance of the human spirit.


This year has been one of moving forward...growing and challenging myself. I love how things have gone, the wonderful people who are part of my life and the prospect of a new year full of even better things fills me with anticipation. It's a feeling I relish as its been a long time coming!

I wish you all a future as warm and as inviting as mine appears to be.....

........and Quoll......... to you, a very special thank you, for your honesty, your openness, your willingness to help others and best of all, that wicked sense of humour. You're a very special man.

 

[MercyMia]

If we laugh at ourselves it disempowers those would do it out of cruelty.

Christmas Carols for the Mentally Ill.

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angles Sing About Me

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and trees and Fire Hydrants and......

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Get me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?


I'll add a holiday movie to the list.
Agoraphobia ---- I'll be home for christmas, and the day after, and the day after that, and...

Thanks for the laugh, quoll I agree that it's good to take a poke at oneself and beat others to the punch. It takes the sting out of their attempts at ridiculing us.
One thing I'm noticing about myself, a change in the past year, is that I can break out of my negative thinking pattern more easily. I still have the tendency to think negatively (and OFTEN) but I recognize when I am doing so and am able to step back a little and balance myself before acting. For this, I am very grateful because it's made a huge difference in the quality of my life.

 

[brioche]

I've been having a really rough week.
I found out today it's because I haven't taken my antidpressant since Monday.
Totally by accident - when I was filling my pill dispenser I forgot.
Of course, my anxiety meds probably picked up some of the slack.

 

[Quoll]

I've been having a really rough week.
I found out today it's because I haven't taken my antidpressant since Monday.
Totally by accident - when I was filling my pill dispenser I forgot.
Of course, my anxiety meds probably picked up some of the slack.

brioche, I know exactly what you mean, with my old meds I could probably go three or four days before noticing anything too drastic, with the meds I am on now, if I miss just one day, boy do I notice by the afternoon, talk about Jekyll and Hyde. I've done that twice in the last ten days, and it takes about three days to get back to normal. It's a bit of a trade off I guess, they are better at controlling the anxiety but the depression feels so much closer these days.

 

[Quoll]

I'm still going back over the thread and there is lot's of gut wrenching and depressive stuff in there. But...overall it is an enlightening and positive thread due only to the caring and compassion of other posters, some of whom are going through some very bad stuff of their own. That is one of the things that gives me a lot of hope, I know the fear and anger and hatred that can lurk within the mind, and for other people to be able to see past this in themselves and others... well I know how hard it can be to deal with that just on our own personal level and these people have reached past their own demons to offer caring and compassion to other people in pain. THAT'S BLOODY AWESOME. Yes I am making a big deal out of it because depression is such an isolating disease, to reach out to help someone else just does so much for everyone involved.
If you have reached out to help someone even when you are suffering, be damned proud of yourself because you are helping a lot of people including yourself.

People have posted once or twice in this thread never to be seen again, I hope just saying what you needed to say helped you, again it has helped others.

Partners, you guys rock. ( been hanging out with the bloody yanks too much I think ) To live with and love someone suffering fom any form of mental disease take a lot of courage, ( I know some of you will call bullshit on that as you feel it's just what you do when your other half is hurting, and I agree totally ) but it still takes a gutsy effort for we are not always easy to live with. Thanks for hanging in there with us.


It's all about me now.
Like I said earlier it's been about twelve months since I started this thread, and a little bit less than that since the wheels fell off my wagon.
Just to put it into some sort of perspective it's been a suck arse 10 months or so.
Losing the plot after being stable for so long, seriously thinking about checking out for good, mood swings from hell, the anger and rage and let's not forgot our old friends self loathing and hatred.
New drugs, therapy (sort of ) and absolutely armloads of support from here and at home, seriously I don't believe I could have come back from that to the stage I am at now, without the help of the people here. ( including those who don't post on this thread )

I guess the wheels are back on the wagon, still a bit wobbly but facing the right way at least.
Well I seem to have run out of steam and I always worry about rambling on so I'll leave it at that for now.

 

[Lady_Prowless]

quoll,im sorry that you have been having a rough time...i dont know your situation but i do feel your pain of depression.it is a scary,lonesome,and heartwrenching time,some people can shake it off..and some people cant,depending on the situation.i know it is easier said then done but pick yourself up..dust yourself off and tell yourself..its a brand new day im going to accomplish something for myself and not let anyone hold me back.im alive im healthy and i got my freedom,if that is all you have it is better than nothing at all.be strong for yourself if for nobody else and if you cant rely on others then rely on yourself.you are your only true best friend.

 

[brioche]

It's all about me now.
Like I said earlier it's been about twelve months since I started this thread, and a little bit less than that since the wheels fell off my wagon.
Just to put it into some sort of perspective it's been a suck arse 10 months or so.
Losing the plot after being stable for so long, seriously thinking about checking out for good, mood swings from hell, the anger and rage and let's not forgot our old friends self loathing and hatred.
New drugs, therapy (sort of ) and absolutely armloads of support from here and at home, seriously I don't believe I could have come back from that to the stage I am at now, without the help of the people here. ( including those who don't post on this thread )

I guess the wheels are back on the wagon, still a bit wobbly but facing the right way at least.
Well I seem to have run out of steam and I always worry about rambling on so I'll leave it at that for now.

One of my therapists told me progress is two steps forward and one step back.
Good for you for having the strength to get going again. You're lucky to have such a great support group to help you in your times of need.
You've got your wagon facing the right way, now you just have to let it roll...
Glad you're feeling better.

 

[Ibsen]

I´m baaaaack!

Internet home have been down for the past months, and for some reason, thats the only place I am able to reach this forum.

I have comed further in my study-plans. I will probably study to geologist, and hopefully in a canadian university named Dalhousie. But I will study in Sweden as well, if there is no scholarships or so.

I am still a virgin, I still hate my life, but just sometimes, I still am single, but there is alot of girls out there that I find really nice. Just that they are either to far away (Thailand), or too old (I think). But still. Gonna read some threads and cum again.

 

[Quoll]

quoll,im sorry that you have been having a rough time...i dont know your situation but i do feel your pain of depression.it is a scary,lonesome,and heartwrenching time,some people can shake it off..and some people cant,depending on the situation.i know it is easier said then done but pick yourself up..dust yourself off and tell yourself..its a brand new day im going to accomplish something for myself and not let anyone hold me back.im alive im healthy and i got my freedom,if that is all you have it is better than nothing at all.be strong for yourself if for nobody else and if you cant rely on others then rely on yourself.you are your only true best friend.

Thanks for the hearfelt wishes, some days are bad and some days are better, I know overall things are on the improve, but it's nice to offload every now and again.

One of my therapists told me progress is two steps forward and one step back.
Good for you for having the strength to get going again. You're lucky to have such a great support group to help you in your times of need.
You've got your wagon facing the right way, now you just have to let it roll...
Glad you're feeling better.

Getting it rolling can be hard when you are stuck in a rut, but I keep rocking and I know it'll pop out eventually. (the wagon that is)

I´m baaaaack!

Internet home have been down for the past months, and for some reason, thats the only place I am able to reach this forum.

I have comed further in my study-plans. I will probably study to geologist, and hopefully in a canadian university named Dalhousie. But I will study in Sweden as well, if there is no scholarships or so.

I am still a virgin, I still hate my life, but just sometimes, I still am single, but there is alot of girls out there that I find really nice. Just that they are either to far away (Thailand), or too old (I think). But still. Gonna read some threads and cum again.

Hey welcome back.

I'm glad things are going along ok for you, and a lot of girls is never a bad thing. You know what, just about everyone hates their life sometimes, so I think that is pretty damn good.

 

[Ibsen]

Hey welcome back.

I'm glad things are going along ok for you, and a lot of girls is never a bad thing. You know what, just about everyone hates their life sometimes, so I think that is pretty damn good.

I have become this science nerd that actually know and care what tri-21 is, or what happens when you put in an extra X or Y chromosome in the DNA chain. Oh oh oh! I know the diffirence between DNA and RNA. And mRNA, tRNA and rRNA.

Did you know that a japanese ship is attempting to drill down to the outter mantle? They have a 9 km long drill, and the drilling-tower on the ship is 100 meters high, the longest tower in the drill-community.

Good thing is I am not skinny and thin. Still some mass on my skelleton.

I was and visited a mine wednsday last week, and I got a ride there with the most gorgious geologist I have seen (wich, in truth, doesnt say so much, but still). I am working on have the rest of my intern-time there (as I am on a work-preparing education [commers], I "test-work" two days a week. Thuseday and wednsday. I have untill now been in a sports-store, but I am working on changing that to the mine. Hoping hoping hoping.

I´m also hoping it could be something wioth that geologist, but I somewhat dounts that. Did some calculations, and I have come to the conclusion she must be somewhere around 26. Myself is 19 (had birthday this thueseday. Hurray! ) years, so, it really isnt that much of a diffirence, but it is still enough for some.

Well, its god to be back.

 

[Ibsen]

And if some is intrested, I have finally got some pics available on my comp.

No nudies, but on my face and front-body atleast.

 

[MercyMia]

Hi everyone,

This is a really tough time of year. I think Hallmark and Hollywood set us up to expect joy and peace and turkey...and as I get older, I feel like I'm the turkey.

I've been feeling anxious lately, disconcerted by how quickly the year has flown by and how little progress I've made, even though I try to cheer myself up with words of self-encouragement. Man, life is really hard sometimes.

I hope each of us has something good happen to them today, something special to smile about and make us feel happy for a while.


Mia

 

[Quoll]

Hi everyone,

This is a really tough time of year. I think Hallmark and Hollywood set us up to expect joy and peace and turkey...and as I get older, I feel like I'm the turkey.

I've been feeling anxious lately, disconcerted by how quickly the year has flown by and how little progress I've made, even though I try to cheer myself up with words of self-encouragement. Man, life is really hard sometimes.

I hope each of us has something good happen to them today, something special to smile about and make us feel happy for a while.


Mia

Mia
You are right, it is, ok, can be, a really bad time of the year, and although it seems like we have gone nowhere we need to remember that any step forward is a good thing. I don't know what personal progress you have made in your struggle, but I can say with absolute confidence that you have helped me immensely with mine. Your air of calmness that you manage to spread through your words, your singleminded determination to not give in, your ability to pop up at just the right time, you really are a very special person and your words never fail to lift my spirits. You are a constant reminder to me not to give in.

I have had a few things happen that have given me cause to smile lately, seeing your posts appear in this thread always brings a smile to my face.
I wish you well as we move forward into the new year.

 

[MercyMia]

Hello quoll,

Reading your post reminds me how we are connected, even if only through cyberspace, to a network of friends. Thank you for this thread. It's a place I can breathe and stop pretending everything is under control.

Happy New Year! I have good vibes about the next 365 days, I really do.

 

[Ibsen]

Six more fucking months then I am free. There isnt a day before I curse myself for my dependance... Thinking of study in Canada just to get away from it all. Not that it would be a bad thing to study there, but the university of Uppsala in Sweden is famous too, and alot closer to me then Canada. But then, I wish to work abroad, and I do not know wich of them is the best for that.

 

[Ibsen]

I do not want to live at home any more. There isnt any other choice, wich makes it even worse.

 

[JustSkye]

where's my Quili?

 

[Quoll]

where's my Quili?

I've been wondering that myself lately, I really miss him, he had a quick wit, moments of inspiration, he was filled with compassion and a willingness to go out of his way for others.
Lately he just sems to be wandering aimlessly, no real interest in anything, he really has to work hard to get anything done and he seems to be closer to the edge than he has been for quite awhile.
I hope he can find something to break him out of the place he is in.

 

[Quoll]

Well it looks like I'll be back on my old meds again soon, Possy carted me off to the docs today, yeah I needed to go, I have been gradually spiralling down.
Now I need to find a suitable time to do the changeover, I hope this works as I dread being on the med merry-go round.
If they work as well as they did last time I can at least work on the anxiety which they didn't seem to handle as well as the Lexapro.
Given the choice between the anxiety and the depression then anxiety wins hands down.
I hope everyone is doing well.

 

[MercyMia]

hi quoll,

I wish you good luck as you try new meds. I know it's not easy to change, but if the old ones aren't working, then hopefully, there is something better for you.

Things are okay here. I just take it all a day at a time and don't make huge statements that involve the words "never" or "always" or "forever."


Mia