dirty haiku

[butters]

Hey you!

Good to see you again. I've missed your thoughts. Your advice on the first days of my little project here were invaluable.

Many thanks if I hadn't thanked you before, and many more if I had.

hello

i've not really had my poetry head on this past few weeks - too much going on at home but things are settling well, now, and i hope to be back in the saddle very soon.

thoughts ... yeah, i'm full of those. it's deciding which have any value that's the rub ...

 

[nerk]

hello

i've not really had my poetry head on this past few weeks - too much going on at home but things are settling well, now, and i hope to be back in the saddle very soon.

thoughts ... yeah, i'm full of those. it's deciding which have any value that's the rub ...

As long as there's rubbing, it can't be all bad, can it?

 

[mynameisben]

Exotica

mangos in the sun
jungle thirst and beating drum
savage succulence

 

[nerk]

day 22

the cold stream trickles
over round rocks, filling pools
to sooth lovers' flesh

 

[mynameisben]

Moonlight Silhouette

putty on the walls
frozen taco semen balls
no one ever calls

 

[nerk]

day 23

virgin wilderness
the first stroke drips ink or blood
on creamy new sheets

 

[nerk]

to whom it may concern:

i has a new story up at http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=486880&page=1

it is a touching romantic tale of a peeping tom and the girl in the window.

 

[mynameisben]

virgin wilderness
the first stroke drips ink or blood
on creamy new sheets

Okay, nerk. This one is blow away AWESOME!

 

[mynameisben]

Breakfast of Champions

sun rise griddle cakes
butter melt and syrup lakes
sausage dripping yolk

 

[nerk]

Breakfast of Champions

sun rise griddle cakes
butter melt and syrup lakes
sausage dripping yolk

damn you ... now i'm hongri

 

[mynameisben]

damn you ... now i'm hongri

Made me hongri, too. Haha!


Barbecue for Two

summer's soul on fire
serpent licks between the slits
tender loin the grill

 

[nerk]

Made me hongri, too. Haha!


Barbecue for Two

summer's soul on fire
serpent licks between the slits
tender loin the grill

goes nicely with the potato salad signature

 

[nerk]

day 24

fingers squeeze the moon
making out on summer nights
cloud covers her breast

 

[nerk]

day 24 and a half

In chat with an old friend, I was reminded of my very first "haiku."

Do not fuck with me
I am oversensitive
and I'll kick your ass

 

[nerk]

day twenty five

in heavy hot air
sunlight filtered through trees leaves
drops of gold on skin

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

buttery luvin
my fake cock did some shuvin
in her small oven

~ ~ ~ ~
K, How many haiku rules did i break?

 

[nerk]

buttery luvin
my fake cock did some shuvin
in her small oven

~ ~ ~ ~
K, How many haiku rules did i break?

There are rules?

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

There are rules?

me thinks there might be
some rules for this haiku stuff
but hell, what the fuck

 

[nerk]

day 26

snow falls thick, blankets
over bodies, our fingers
seeking warm places

 

[mynameisben]

buttery luvin
my fake cock did some shuvin
in her small oven

~ ~ ~ ~
K, How many haiku rules did i break?

"If they give you ruled paper write the other way." - Juan Ramon Jimminez

 

[nerk]

day 27

loon calls before dawn
fog revealing distant peaks
a girl undressing

 

[mynameisben]

Marshmallow Roast

scorching summer wind
mangled roses in a heap
bleeding on the curb

 

[butters]

snow falls thick, blankets
over bodies, our fingers
seeking warm places

just a small suggestion, nerk - and i know it messes with your 5-7-5 layout, but this works even better for me if you omit the 'our' and make 'seeking' simply 'seek'.

 

[nerk]

just a small suggestion, nerk - and i know it messes with your 5-7-5 layout, but this works even better for me if you omit the 'our' and make 'seeking' simply 'seek'.

Thank you.

I said somewhere earlier that I don't have to be a syllable fascist when I revise these, and your suggestion would definitely improve this poem.

I'm waiting til I have enough of them that I think are actually worth revising and then I'm going to submit a pile of them in a much looser, whatever-the-hell-works-for-this-particular-poem, structure.

 

[Esperanza_Hidalgo]

lose structured is he
with his so cool poetry
smut sells, so they say