RubiDia
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 15, 2017
- Posts
- 661
I'm having trouble with the imagery, but I like everything in it. I think you should rewrite some of this. Just to make it better.First Frost
Venus shown bright in the morning sky
while the moon hung large
over a suddenly frozen land.
Above the blue of Easter eggs
or mosques, with an
orange tinge to the east,
still dark to the west.
Our old dog frisked
rolling in the frosty grass,
calves bounded along the fence
sheep sat contentedly
their chalked posteriors
signs of active rams.
Later we will curse the dying sun
but this morning
Venus shown bright in the morning sky
while the moon hung large
over a suddenly frozen land.