feedback for these poems

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

oh yeah... I'm sorry. I forgot about that. I guess what he REALLY needs is to go back to basics and take some elementary classes on spelling and punctuation. I feel bad now. It's never nice to make fun of the mentally challenged. Sorry Sadie.

hey asshole, my friend is mentally challenged. You got a problem with people who aren't as advantaged as you? Further comments from you are void.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Just a question...

Lauren:

Did we ever resolve the spelling of fuckwhit?

darkmaas

The Hyndeisher spelling is fuckwhit.

The word derives from the combination of fuck (usually obscene : an act of copulation) and whit (the smallest part or particle imaginable).

We've all seen Sadie's avatar...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

hey asshole, my friend is mentally challenged. You got a problem with people who aren't as advantaged as you? Further comments from you are void.

Is that the same friend that works at the publishing biz and thinks you should have been published years ago?

Okies...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'll keep track of your witty comebacks. So far its 0.
Teach us Portugese so darkmas can have something to do.

It's Portuguese, fuckwhit.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

hey asshole, my friend is mentally challenged. You got a problem with people who aren't as advantaged as you? Further comments from you are void.

Erm, now Sadie dear, I know this is hard for you but you have to look closely at what I wrote. I said it isN'T nice to make fun of people who are mentally challenged. So why would I have a problem with such people? Think hard, but try not to hurt yourself.

By the way, can "advantaged" be used like that? *snicker*

How can my comments be void? You asked a question. Do you have a rubber stamp and like to pretend that you're reviewing claims? Sounds like a fun game. I think I'll try playing, too! Watch this: "Hey! My name is Sadie and I'm gonna void you!" *X whips out her rubber stamper and marks Sadie's tiny weener VOID* That was so much fun!

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

Is that the same friend that works at the publishing biz and thinks you should have been published years ago?

Okies...

more evidence of a bitter writer who cant get published. Join your friends in a Jim Jones Kool-Aid party.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

LOL

What's to tell you that I'm not an accomplished writer who's sold a couple of hundred thousand copies of my latest novel?

Now, now... If you keep making this type of assumptions you're only going to make yourself look sillier, if that's humanly conceivable.

 

[darkmaas]

Party?

Did someone say party?

I'll ask Angeline if she and OT want to jump out of the cake.

darkmaas

 

[Guest]

LOL

What's to tell you that I'm not an accomplished writer who's sold a couple of hundred thousand copies of my latest novel?

your attitude certainly doesn't reflect that.
*why did you edit your post? You shouldn't "sanitize" your posts.

 

[Guest]

*Looks around* Am I in the right Board? *shakes head*

 

[Lauren Hynde]

your attitude certainly doesn't reflect that.
*why did you edit your post? You shouldn't "sanitize" your posts.

I noticed a typo. I usually fix them. I guess I could pay an editor to do that, but how can I be a prick to my editor if I don't send her impeccable material to start with?

What exactly do you find so objectable in my attitude and how does it influence my status as a writer?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

xtaabay, Lauren-Hynde, darkmass, darlingnikki- all bitter writers who can't get published

You're forgetting a handful of others. Aren't you afraid they'll come to your doorstep and claim equal treatment?

My nom de plume doesn't have hyphens, by the way.


I'm sorry about this, GP. It'll be over quickly.

 

[Guest]

*Looks around* Am I in the right Board? *shakes head*

welcome gp.
Tell me what you think of this poem, inspired by the Amityville story.

112 Ocean Ave.

Feel the chill of those who remain in spirit
Doors slam shut
The little boy near the staircase
With hallow eyes
I can feel evil everywhere
The walls ooze blood
The windows frost over
Rocking chair sways
In the basement
Are photos of another life
A boy who killed his family
They are the invisible audience
I hear a dog barking
But there is none around
The fireplace wont keep away the shadows
We are in their space
And the eyes of the house look out
Aglow like jack o'lanterns
Cold and nefarious
It's the abode that never rest

 

[Guest]

yawn

welcome gp, ignore the riff raff, they are not worthy of attention.
Tell me what you think of this poem, inspired by the Amityville story. LH, the only thing that will be over quickly is your career as a "writer".

112 Ocean Ave.

Feel the chill of those who remain in spirit
Doors slam shut
The little boy near the staircase
With hallow eyes
I can feel evil everywhere
The walls ooze blood
The windows frost over
Rocking chair sways
In the basement
Are photos of another life
A boy who killed his family
They are the invisible audience
I hear a dog barking
But there is none around
The fireplace wont keep away the shadows
We are in their space
And the eyes of the house look out
Aglow like jack o'lanterns
Cold and nefarious
It's the abode that never rest

*yawn* snore.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzz........

 

[Byron In Exile]

Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

That way, I don't get stuck sitting at a table, looking at a steaming plate of wontons and gunintos and wondering where I went wrong.

Now you owe me a teaspoon of Windex and two paper towels.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

Now you owe me a teaspoon of Windex and two paper towels.

Yeah, those darned gunintos will make anyone sneeze all over the windows. Sorry 'bout that.
--Xtaabay

 

[Byron In Exile]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

Ok, thanks for clearing up the reasons for your hostility.

Except for the pills and vodka, my suggestion was a good one. If the reasons people seem hostile toward you aren't apparent to you, then you probably need to take a break. You got some good feedback initially, in spite of your attacks on those who wasted their time on your work, but that's over. You've poisoned the well.

 

[Byron In Exile]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

Yeah, those darned gunintos will make anyone sneeze all over the windows. Sorry 'bout that.

That's okay — my monitor was due for a cleaning, anyway...

 

[Byron In Exile]

Tell me what you think of this poem, inspired by the Amityville story.

In an odd way, it somehow reminds me of this:


To the Author of a Sonnet
Beginning '"Sad is my verse," you say, "and yet no tear"'

Thy verse is 'sad' enough, no doubt:
  A devilish deal more sad than witty!
Why we should weep, I can't find out,
  Unless for thee we weep in pity.

Yet there is one I pity more;
  And much, alas! I think he needs it —
For he, I'm sure, will suffer sore,
  Who, to his own misfortune, reads it.

Thy rhymes, without the aid of magic,
  May once be read — but never after:
Yet their effect's by no means tragic,
  Although by far too dull for laughter.

But would you make our bosoms bleed,
  And of no common pang complain?
If you would make us weep indeed,
  Tell us you'll read them o'er again.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

Except for the pills and vodka, my suggestion was a good one. If the reasons people seem hostile toward you aren't apparent to you, then you probably need to take a break. You got some good feedback initially, in spite of your attacks on those who wasted their time on your work, but that's over. You've poisoned the well.

again, I was not hostile to those who didn't deserve it. I welcome feedback, just not personal attacks which you people seem so anxious to do. Poisoned the well? LOL, the pot calling the kettle black. I need to take a break from people who think their remarks are witty.
xtaabay, I still haven't seen your writings. Hmmmmm.

 

[Byron In Exile]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

again, I was not hostile to those who didn't deserve it.

Yes, you were.

And that pretty much sums it up.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

again, I was not hostile to those who didn't deserve it. I welcome feedback, just not personal attacks which you people seem so anxious to do. Poisoned the well? LOL, the pot calling the kettle black. I need to take a break from people who think their remarks are witty.
xtaabay, I still haven't seen your writings. Hmmmmm.

uh.. maybe that's because you have to go READ them?! All you have to do is look them up. I have lots of them. Or are you so lazy that you expect me to post links to everything I have posted at Literotica? Go and read them. Do a search on Xtaabay under Members, click on my name, and read my stuff. It's simple. What are you waiting for?

 

[Guest]

OH, look here people, a poem (or whatever the author calls it) by xtaabay-

I recently learned of the
lavalamp
poem-trend beginning here at Literotica. As a lover of
lavalamps,
I can't resist creating a place where people can post
lavalamp
poems, or any poetry which may be inspired by
lavalamps.

Please feel free to post your
lavalamp
poems here

--Xtaabay

Damn, that is impressive material. How long did it take you to come up with such a marvelous piece of literature? Lava lamps, are you a hippy? Hey man, if you can post pics of your lamp that would be groovy. It would help us visualize what inspired you.

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

Yes, you were.

And that pretty much sums it up.

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawn

 

[Byron In Exile]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Oh dear...

you're a misinformed asshole.
And that pretty much sums it up.

And the train wreck continues...