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Farawyn
Guest
Well.....
Well your our deviant, Necro!
True story.
Feeling sad
- Thread starter Kajira Callista
- Start date
True story.
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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- Aug 11, 2015
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- 28,702
I didn't read this as defensive, DVS. I'd just as soon you stuck around. And whatever old time lurkers are around, I wish they would post too. As you well know, every poster has their own voice... some serious, some playful, some snarky, some sarcastic. Until you get a feel for the poster it can be hard to know exactly what the tone is.
I know that these boards were a lifesaver for me.
While I am in a good place now, I stick around and post often with a fair amount of seriousness because I feel some impetus to pay it forward.
I don't post all the time or on every thread, but hardly anything happens here that I don't see. Things I think I have something worth adding to, I do. Often I reach out to folks in PM.
There is a great deal I have come to appreciate about the current new folks...I think a lot about MWY thread about how "we" treat newcomers. Both how it felt when I was new...and how I try to treat people here now that I am no longer new.
I value the folks, like you, that created this place and the impetus for making resources available and a safe place to ask questions.
I think by in large this is still happening as it was originally envisioned.
Regarding your stories...I plan to make a point to read them very soon. It's dreadful they were stolen.
And, let me also say, I appreciate folks in my general age category around here. I value your voice and contribution. I look forward to hearing more from you.
cb
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Farawyn
Guest
Be the change, people.
Walk the walk.
Gotta be innit to winnit.
And so on.
Walk the walk.
Gotta be innit to winnit.
And so on.
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Farawyn
Guest
Word.
cascadiabound
MrTs barmaid
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Yes KC, I used to see Lit as home, but now wander through so rarely I recognise very few people.
I agree with DVS post on this subject too
shyslave...are you here less because you do not recognize as many people as you did at one time? Or do you recognize fewer people than you used to because you are here less?
I am not saying you should be here more...each of us needs to figure out what role Lit plays in our lives, how it fits and how much energy to give it.
It seems for many these things ebb and flow over time. Our need to be here changes. We get what we desperately needed and we move on. Or we learn what we needed to know and the next phase is best learned elsewhere or in a different format.
If you are wistful for what was, and you are yearning for something you don't have...I don't see any reason why the current configuration of active users couldn't somehow meet at least some of what you need/ want.
Thanks for posting. I am so pleased to make your acquaintance.
cb
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
It bothers me that because the new crowd doesn't see what we see, we're seen as pining for the old days. And we see something we can't really put our finger on, so that's equally not helping.
I don't think anybody should be quick to judge anybody else's point of view, for fear of alienating them. I think we're probably going to just have to call it a draw.
I can understand both positions on this and since neither side can come up with definitive proof one way or the other, I vote that life is too short to continue this um...discussion. I guess us old folks will just continue to think something has changed here and the youngters will continue to assume nothing has changed, except maybe the old folks miss old friends and old times.
The answer probably is both sides are correct to an extent and we'll all have to deal with it in our own way. I'm cool with that.
I don't think anybody should be quick to judge anybody else's point of view, for fear of alienating them. I think we're probably going to just have to call it a draw.
I can understand both positions on this and since neither side can come up with definitive proof one way or the other, I vote that life is too short to continue this um...discussion. I guess us old folks will just continue to think something has changed here and the youngters will continue to assume nothing has changed, except maybe the old folks miss old friends and old times.
The answer probably is both sides are correct to an extent and we'll all have to deal with it in our own way. I'm cool with that.
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Farawyn
Guest
It bothers me that because the new crowd doesn't see what we see, we're seen as pining for the old days. And we see something we can't really put our finger on, so that's equally not helping.
I don't think anybody should be quick to judge anybody else's point of view, for fear of alienating them. I think we're probably going to just have to call it a draw.
I can understand both positions on this and since neither side can come up with definitive proof one way or the other, I vote that life is too short to continue this um...discussion. I guess us old folks will just continue to think something has changed here and the youngters will continue to assume nothing has changed, except maybe the old folks miss old friends and old times.
The answer probably is both sides are correct to an extent and we'll all have to deal with it in our own way. I'm cool with that.
Deal with what?
DVS, step out of this thread and post. If you like it, stay. If you don't, leave.
It's simple, really.
cookiecat
Literotica Guru
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- Oct 27, 2006
- Posts
- 22,045
It bothers me that because the new crowd doesn't see what we see, we're seen as pining for the old days. And we see something we can't really put our finger on, so that's equally not helping.
I don't think anybody should be quick to judge anybody else's point of view, for fear of alienating them. I think we're probably going to just have to call it a draw.
I can understand both positions on this and since neither side can come up with definitive proof one way or the other, I vote that life is too short to continue this um...discussion. I guess us old folks will just continue to think something has changed here and the youngters will continue to assume nothing has changed, except maybe the old folks miss old friends and old times.
The answer probably is both sides are correct to an extent and we'll all have to deal with it in our own way. I'm cool with that.
I say word on this, too.
You're right, we don't see what you see. I guess I'm a "youngster" in the sense I've only recently been back. I'm not assuming nothing's changed. I'm just unsure what "it" is.
I thought I did but... apparently not. Was it a safer place? A more informative place? More knowledgeable? More civil? Less gifs? More words?
The thing is, we have what we have. There's a pretty small pool of folks who reply in the Talk forum. We - I truly believe - do our best.
My sense was the definitive proof is in the Talk section -- the replies we've given to newbies, the fact both cascadia and I mentioned we PM newbies, we try to hold hands, we "youngsters" feel this is a safe place. Surely a different place than years ago because that's just the nature of the beast.
I mentioned that - for me - the Cafe has been a saving grace. That counts, yes?
No matter. I'll say it. Cascadia's said it. Stay! Post. Usher in the newbies. You have a whole new set of ears to hear your experiences, suggestions, advice. Repost your stories - again, it's probably a whole new audience. Or don't.
Let's just shake hands and - as you said - call it a draw.
Primalex
Literotica Guru
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- Jul 14, 2007
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- 6,112
I don't quite get this thread and the lamenting. So I will do what I can do best - write my opinion. The topic seems to be how this place has changed and how Kajira doesn't feel like home, but didn't mind to request to become a moderator and doesn't feel the need to resign - or something like that.
This place was different because it had a level of seriousness that the other places did not have. Now you really can't see a difference between BDSM Cafe, The Playground, HT Cafe...
It's basically impossible that a thread isn't derailed with "lighthearted banter" by one of three specific individuals and when 90% of posts come from two or three individuals, it's getting fairly boring. I don't believe in quantity being more important than quality. Some person bumping "interesting" old threads out of boredom doesn't really help in reducing nostalgia either.
Then you had actually a variety of playstyles, including hardcore riggers and dedicated rope bunnies, TPE slaves and female tops. Now all you have is "Oh, I love sucking cock" subs.
*shrugs*
My opinion.
Of course, "This place was different" existed as complaint even 2007. In the end, you can't change the cards life dealt you, but you can adapt your play to get the best result.
This place was different because it had a level of seriousness that the other places did not have. Now you really can't see a difference between BDSM Cafe, The Playground, HT Cafe...
It's basically impossible that a thread isn't derailed with "lighthearted banter" by one of three specific individuals and when 90% of posts come from two or three individuals, it's getting fairly boring. I don't believe in quantity being more important than quality. Some person bumping "interesting" old threads out of boredom doesn't really help in reducing nostalgia either.
Then you had actually a variety of playstyles, including hardcore riggers and dedicated rope bunnies, TPE slaves and female tops. Now all you have is "Oh, I love sucking cock" subs.
*shrugs*
My opinion.
Of course, "This place was different" existed as complaint even 2007. In the end, you can't change the cards life dealt you, but you can adapt your play to get the best result.
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Farawyn
Guest
Primalex
Literotica Guru
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- Jul 14, 2007
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Pink Mafia.
We aren't going anywhere, either.
Well, it was a 'feeling sad' thread.
A 'feeling good' thread would include how exciting (metaphorical) new tits are.
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Farawyn
Guest
I could use some new tits.
MyNameIsNO
Literotica Guru
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- 1,914
Pink Mafia.
We aren't going anywhere, either.
Glitter Mafia.
I can do that.
And really I'm not posting that much.
Life, ya know?
F
Farawyn
Guest
MyNameIsNO
Literotica Guru
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Love the glitter!
We can make it a thing, like the PM team or the playgrounders.
President Sparkle
VP Banana
Etc
cookiecat
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2006
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- 22,045
Isn't the cafe essentially the playground?? Don't we keep that glitter shit there? In the past, was the Cafe as serious as the Talk section?
I'm one of the "some person" who bumped an old thread. Should've been moved to the cafe, for sure. I bumped another old thread basically as a social experiment. I liked the topic, first and foremost. But I was wondering if anyone else would post.
If only 3 people are posting - hmmm. Should they stop posting in order to hear other voices or ??? I ask in all seriousness. If those (me?) stopped posting, would other people feel more comfortable posting? Or would the cafe just get really quiet?? I basically only see that happening in the cafe section. The Talk section does seem to bring out other posters.
The lament has been rumbling around since I got back here months ago. Seems like every so often an "oldie" wanders in to say how much they miss the days of old. And then they leave.
As much as I'm guilty of creating fluffy threads and enjoying cock sucking, I would hope - when questions are asked, when issues arise, when new posters pop in to say hi - the bdsm forums are a friendly, safe place to be. Even if there aren't the uber experienced folks of the past, I believe we do offer - albeit different than years ago - an informative, welcoming forum.
L
La damnee elle la licorne
Guest
Shankara20
Well, that is lovely
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Rings true to my way of seeing things here...
Shankara20
Well, that is lovely
- Joined
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- 58,546
The grandparent of the thread we have today started in Talk but was moved to the Cafe later. It really belongs in the Cafe given its randomness. As Glitter belongs in the Cafe as well. I don't wonder into conversations in Talk much anymore as it takes more and more work for me to craft posts that require dialogue. I feel I have experience could offer to some questions, I just have limited energy. Aging, I am....
Primalex
Literotica Guru
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It was used to connect to BDSM people in non-BDSM areas. "Show your face", "What's cooking?", "Do you craft stuff?", "Books for pleasure" etc. Playground-style "game" threads like "word association" or simple "way to waste time" threads were rare - wasting time was more a result, not the goal. Of course, there always have been fluffy threads and posters with a preference for fluffy content - noticeable Shank. It felt more properly weighted though.
How would I know?
Maybe it's even more welcoming, I'm not the one able to judge that. "Back in the days" there were quite some pitfalls that a newbie could trigger which would immediately end up in a serious backlash - but if you survived that, it meant you would fit in with the serious discussions and tone of the forum. If not, there was a high chance you would sooner or later be pissed off and pouty if people started disagreeing with you. And it's not like people went easy on me back in 2007.
*shrugs*
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
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Oh, yes, I remember a diva that hung out in the BDSM forum. I think she's still here, but in a different area of the site. The thing is, she wasn't really able to say she was in to BDSM, but yet she stuck around, like she was some queen of the place.
I was about 2 weeks into the site, and I made the mistake of crossing her. I didn't know I had, but boy did she cut loose on me. She got all of her cronies to gang up on me and try to force me out. Yes, I'm serious. There are at least three threads on this, if you are good with the search function. You can see how she was, in all her um...glory.
I guess I'd read something she posted in the Talk forum about wanting to receive an enema, and I jokingly said something about it in the Cafe. Well, she came down on me and said I'd broken a forum rule and even tried to get Laurel to ban me.
I hadn't broken any rule, because there's nothing that says you can't post what's said in one forum in another. And it wasn't like I'd gone to the General board and posted about her craving, but the daughter board of the Talk forum, the Cafe. It's not like you have to have a password to get to either forum. Anybody could have seen what she wrote there. If she didn't want it known in the Cafe (an open forum), she shouldn't have posted it in the Talk forum. There are private messages we can use for private things.
Well, I did survive, even though there were about 10 people who would give me shit from time to time, because they were her cronies. I don't know for sure, but I think most all of them have moved on. I SURVIVED! LOL.
There were a lot of fights among some posters back then. I never really understood it, but sometimes someone would just cut loose on somebody else for whatever reason. And that's one of the main reasons I slowly started posting less. My political leanings didn't gel with 80% of the regulars and frankly, I got tired of the shit. I guess I found out the hard way that you don't post about certain things or the devils will come out to get you.
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
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- 11,416
The cafe was created to keep the Talk forum for the serious questions and topics about BDSM. It was decided that too much fluff was getting in the way of that so the cafe was created to allow people to socialize. It was even given the name "Cafe" to resemble going to a coffee shop and chatting with friends.
I don't mind fluff threads, as long as they stay in the cafe and don't get out of hand. I look at it this way...just like a TV show that shows naked humans or there are spoken words that some people find offensive. If you don't like that sort of thing, don't watch that show. It's as simple as that. Don't blow it all up into a major ordeal where you try to squelch those shows. That's forcing others to live within your limited perspective.
