Filthy answers to innocent questions.

[DocTemplar]

My own dick, obviously. Sad, I know.

Totally not innocnet question: Any Lit ladies want a NYE tribute?

No tribute needed; all the Lit ladies are busy in my bed.

Any new gardening ideas for the Spring?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

How about planting some succulents?



Why was Mary contrary about her garden?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

How about planting some succulents?

View attachment 2303864

Why was Mary contrary about her garden?

She was fucking the pretty maids and that had them all in a row.


What's the best show on TV and why?

 

[MargotPayge]

She was fucking the pretty maids and that had them all in a row.


What's the best show on TV and why?

When my boyfriend bends me over the TV and fucks me with the blinds open.

How do you make pumpkin pie?

 

[DocTemplar]

[Sidenote: I really want to watch you two through the window, face pressed against the glass!]

Pumpkin pie: Take one properly baked pumpkin pie, scoop out the filling while still warm, spread liberally all over her “pie.” Use only lips, tongue, and teeth to eat her fruit.

What has replaced the printed newspaper?

 

[MargotPayge]

[Sidenote: I really want to watch you two through the window, face pressed against the glass!]

Pumpkin pie: Take one properly baked pumpkin pie, scoop out the filling while still warm, spread liberally all over her “pie.” Use only lips, tongue, and teeth to eat her fruit.

What has replaced the printed newspaper?

Now, we buy waterproof sheets: very easy to clean up after those messy sex sessions!

How long does it take to learn to drive on snow and ice?

 

[vagrantx]

I hope to learn on the fly. The lady in my trunk said she wouldn't get in my car until hell freezes over, so that skill could come in handy real soon.

What in the world happened to the band Chumbawamba?

 

[DocTemplar]

They're still touring, but their tours consist only of them "tubthumping" in live sex shows, which, unfortunately, only allows 10-20 people to stand around the tub to watch. VIP passes allow you to touch and probe as they perform.

What is the proper way to introduce one person to another?

 

[MargotPayge]

What is the proper way to introduce one person to another?

Lust needs no introduction, just a tongue in my pussy.

How can you fight city hall?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

You can't fight with your hands tied at back by rep tape.

How do I contact you?

See above: Your tongue to her pussy. That's the only contact allowed.

What's the best place to meet a stranger?

 

[MargotPayge]

See above: Your tongue to her pussy. That's the only contact allowed.

What's the best place to meet a stranger?

There is nowhere stranger than the bathroom at a dive bar!

When did I start liking puns?

 

[Tio_Narratore]

There is nowhere stranger than the bathroom at a dive bar!

When did I start liking puns?

When your boyfriend acted annoyed and said he had a boner to pick with you.

Why do some people kneel by their bedsides before getting into bed?

 

[DocTemplar]

Fucking the tight crevice between the mattress and box springs can be a particularly enjoyable way to get off.

What’s the best way to clean up stubborn stains?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Fucking the tight crevice between the mattress and box springs can be a particularly enjoyable way to get off.

What’s the best way to clean up stubborn stains?

Saturate the panties with saliva and carry them in your mouth for several hours. Yum!

Boxers or briefs?

 

[MargotPayge]

Boxers or briefs?

Boxers... or wrestlers. Their endurance is spectacular!

What is the best workout for building muscle?

 

[DocTemplar]

Masturbating with your least dominant hand.

Do you prefer woodwinds, brass, or strings?

 

[Pervert101sub]

It was a sex act at sailor bars in the Philippines during the 1970s. It involved a 55-gallon drum, a pulley system, a small motor, and a willing woman. Things spun.

Why does anyone enjoy golf?

Yes especially when the wife is beating on partners sticks. I love dirty women who love to fuck. Doesn't have to be me!

 

[MargotPayge]

Do you prefer woodwinds, brass, or strings?

Winds (wood or brass) for sure. I'd rather be blown than scraped.

When is the best time to plant wheat?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Winds (wood or brass) for sure. I'd rather be blown than scraped.

When is the best time to plant wheat?

Plant your seed after she's cum at least once, not before! Better if you can make her cum two or three times before planting your seed.

What's the best way to prepare for winter storms?

 

[MargotPayge]

What's the best way to prepare for winter storms?

(Way to keep it topical to current events! ) Stock up on lube and clean sheets. Be sure you have a partner: two bodies generate more heat than one!

When does Earth reach its aphelion?

 

[DocTemplar]

I love it when you talk dirty! What I want to know is when you and I might reach our perihelion? (BTW: July 5, 2025)

What is meant by “wind chill index”?

 

[bbcbarry9033]

I love it when you talk dirty! What I want to know is when you and I might reach our perihelion? (BTW: July 5, 2025)

What is meant by “wind chill index”?

That happens when a perfectly leathal piece of 10" man meat is reduced to a shriveled and emabrrassing 2.5.

What's a hurricane wind?

 

[NEOhio1972]

A monster wet blow of course!!!!!!

How cold is it outside?

 

[MargotPayge]

How cold is it outside?

Cold enough for both nipples to be sharp points, but too cold to wear a T-shirt to show them off.

Where is the Arctic Circle?

 

[vagrantx]

Cold enough for both nipples to be sharp points, but too cold to wear a T-shirt to show them off.

Where is the Arctic Circle?

Depends on my frigid bitch of an ex. "You can't come within 300 yards of me!" that cunt cried, "I have a restraining order!"
(uh, how far is too far? )

Tea or coffee, and why?