Freakin' good titles!

[karmadog]

It's worth mentioning who did this poem originally. This is the classic (I'm told) cavalier poem. Today, this is cliche, but truly, this is a good poem. Especially when you consider that he coined "Gather ye rosebuds". Don't you wish you couls come up with something as enduring?

Robert Herrick said:

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
2 Old Time is still a-flying;
3 And this same flower that smiles today,
4 To-morrow will be dying.

5 The glorious lamp of heaven, the Sun,
6 The higher he's a-getting;
7 The sooner will his race be run,
8 And nearer he's to setting.

9 That age is best, which is the first,
10 When youth and blood are warmer;
11 But being spent, the worse, and worst
12 Times still succeed the former.

13 Then be not coy, but use your time,
14 And while ye may, go marry;
15 For having lost but once your prime,
16 You may for ever tarry.

Ode to a Chode by sweetsubsarahh

What the fuck is a chode?

An Oxymoron by AngelicRebel71

Assuming I could breathe, this would be about me. But mostly, I just suck down CO2, like a plant.

Like Smoke by smithpeter

Actually, I do. But I quit when I started getting nothing but cotton mouth and a headache. What a pity.

I have to mention this as well. Have you seen the car commercial where they use the old CCR song? Fortunate Son? They try to use it as a patriotic song.
Some people are born to raise the flag
Lord they red white and blue

but they left off the next line.
but that ain't me
that ain't me
I ain't no 'merican son

I can't swear that that is exactly right, but that is not a patriotic song.

 

[Angeline]

An Oxymoron

was great. I really enjoyed reading it (and I wonder why poems that deal with love being a cliche so appeal to me, but maybe I'll have that monologue privately). A great title and reminded me of a phrase from the wonderful late Ted Berrigan, a poet of the New York School (second generation, post Ginsgerg: more a contemporary of Kenneth Koch and Amiri Bakara). Anyway, he wrote this great poem "Cold Rosy Dawn in New York City, which contained the following:

"There is only one way to describe true love.
Does anyone know what it is?"


Please tell me I'm not the only person in the world who finds that snippet very funny.

 

[Guest]

("what the fuck is a chode?"

Karmadog - it is quite common knowledge around here that "chode" equates "cock". Where ya been? I thought every guy knew every nickname for that part of his anatomy!! Hey - besides, it rhymed!! LOL

 

[karmadog]

Ange, you're not the only one that found that funny. There might just be the two of us...

ssshh, I learned something new from you. I learn something new everyday, but mostly I forget them. As of now, I know 12 things and have forgotten 13,880 things.

Lady's Blues in Winter by Angeline

I think she played in the snow too long. Nipple warmers can be a big help when skiing. I used to make a little money on the side doing just that when I lived up North.

Crazy From the Heat by P40eBu5

Now that I can relate to. It's freakin' hot down here and I have a summer cold. This sucks.

World's Oldest Amusement Park by luvmancsf

It's not Coney Island. I'll tell you though, I'm not sure I want to go into some 107 yr old amusement park, if you know what I mean.

Literary Whores by stargirl32

My favorite kind!!!

 

[Angeline]

Ok, now I'm confused

WHAT was it you made money up North doing?

A. Playing in the snow too long

B. Wearing nipple warmers

C. Skiing

D. Singing the blues

E. All of the above


(No guessing and make sure to review your answer before time is up.)

 

[karmadog]

F. I was a nipple warmer. It can make for awkward skiing, but it's fun.

 

[Angeline]

Karmadog, i may be in love;

your comments make me laugh out loud. And try coming up with a fast answer when a kid says "What's so funny?" and what's really so funny is that some guy just said he was a nipple warmer--and a paid one yet! I think we need another test question.

Skiiing::Nipple Warming as

A. Surfing::Toe Hanging

B. Football::High Fiving

C. Sky Diving:arachute Groping

D. Ice Skating::Surrepticious Ass Touching (you know, when they do those lifts)

E. Reply Posting::Mind Losing

You know, maybe there just isn't anything else like it. Back to poem titles.

 

[karmadog]

Aww, you crazy kid. You're just in love with being in love.

 

[karmadog]

Oh. And the answer is 'D'. Except it's impossible to be surreptitious while going down a crowded hill standing on the tails of a woman's skis while groping her hooters.

But they usually won't throw you out for it.

 

[karmadog]

Anybody else want to do the titles today? I'm sick and I might get bitchy if I do 'em. Or worse, I'll start whining.

 

[Guest]

I couldn't match your terrific wit and kick-ass sarcasm, karmadog.

We'll just wait for you - hope you feel better soon!

 

[WickedEve]

Sorry you're a sick puppy today.
I saw that one poem was dedicated to you, kdog.

Two Cookie Flavors
by smithpeter ©

A bit stingy, don't you think? Only 2? You can get 31 flavors of ice cream. I wonder what the flavors are? Chocolate and vanilla? Oatmeal and peanut butter? Maybe the kind of flavors I make: burnt and nasty.

And smithpeter dedicated another poem! This one to that... that... uhhhh... Elda Furry!

I Love You Law
by smithpeter ©

Yes, sp loves the law. Because it was the law that put that Elda creature behind bars so sp could slip her his big file between those bars.

It Doesn't Matter, I Don't Care
by SexplorN ©

It doesn't matter. I don't care.
(see if you get any tonight...)


A Talk With Myself
by Angelic_Grace ©

...because no one else will talk to me!

Get better soon kpuppy.

 

[OT]

While waiting for kdog to recover from whatever it was he chewed on, perhaps we could arrange today's titles in an almost meaningful and mildly amusing manner, like so:

A Talk With Myself
What If...
It Doesn't Matter, I Don't Care

Hero
People
Who are you?

You, Too Innocent
Should be
Hard
When We Make Love

Chyld's Prayer
I Love You Law
Two Cookie Flavors

A Photograph of You
Exposed
Grains
The Eyes Have It

Deluge
The Lover's Dance
Swaying Sensually

OK, ok, if it wasn't meaninfgul or amusing, why not just go look at the
New Poetry Page
and see if there is something you like ?


O.T.
my stuff

 

[Senna Jawa]

Originally posted by OT OK, ok, if it wasn't meaninfgul or amusing, why not just go look at the
New Poetry Page
and see if there is something you like ?

O.T.

During 1989-91 I had a Sun4 station at work, and would store all poems from rec.arts.poems. Later in the 90-ties I subscribed to netcom.com (and to blackbox.com at one time, around Houston, Texas). They had an archive of r.a.p. going back for about just one week. In all these cases I used Unix, which is so superior to Windows or about anything for the general public. Thus it was a snap to grep (egrep) for a word or phrase over all weekful of posts. Most any word would result in a sequence of lines that would fool some people. I was once be seriously flamed over the literary quality of the language in "my poem". And in any case, it was invariably an interesting read.

Regards,

 

[Senna Jawa]

Pacifist Literotica?

Hey, Karmadog, get well!

Literotica surprises me on occasions. When it comes to poems by others, when I do not know much, I can half-explain mysterious occurences by my lack of knowledge. But in the case of my own titles I have no such margin left. How is it possible that of all my July subnmissions the one with the least hits is poem [bullets...]. It is my only July submission with under 40 hits (36 to be precise). And it was posted on July 20. Compare it with the three July submissions which have scored over 100 hits:

• before u leave...   --   posted on 7-27(!), 111 hits
• thick bottle   --   posted on 7-11, 111 hits
• [u slammed...]   --   posted on July 1, 110 hits.

(and some scored in nineties).

Ok, Literotica is into sex, not into violence. But then why PiñaColada, posted on July 19 has scored only 49 hits? Is it really such a lousy title? On the other hand, can there be a worse title than friendship?! Sure, I like this poem (like all my posted poems or else I would not post them). But people click BEFORE they read a poem, not after. Thus "views" ("hits") are associated with the title (and it's position on the lists of titles). Would it be a Hallmark crowd? (Then they would get disappointed ).

Regards,

 

[karmadog]

Again, please. I am miserable. If I knew who gave this thing to me. I'd choke 'em. If I had the strength.

 

[Guest]

Get well soon, karmadog!

 

[OT]

Today's (arranged) titles:

There Is No Escape From Truth
Around Every Corner Is You
And I Cry
To Dani
Never Mind
We Lean Over

Concentric Eccentric
Million $$$ Club
Girl At The Restaurant
Single Jazz Thing

Foresight is 20/20
First Times
Three AM
Twenty Years
Hindsight

Jealousy
Prevaricator
Heaven and Hell
Coming to Terms

Out of Gas
Moonlit Theatre
Lonely Lover
In A Field
Finding My Way
Photographing Wind

The Experiment
The Cage II
Pre-Columbian Chamber Pot

To All Women
Lapsus Carnis
Pussy Prose
Paper Doll
Fantasy


If the title intrigues, then you owe it to yourself to go peek at the
New Poetry Page to see if it lives up to your expectations.


O.T.
(my stuff)

 

[smithpeter]

dog with karma

i do not have anything to say.
you know what to do.

 

[Angeline]

Take a break today Eve

the vaudville team of Lauren and Angeline are doin the title thing for the unwell doggie. (Feel better KD!)

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Take a break today Eve

the vaudville team of Lauren and Angeline are doin the title thing for the unwell doggie. (Feel better KD!)

After my last performance, I was booed off the stage.
I look forward to your antics. Entertain me well, or I'm throwing veggies! (though, not the cucumbers and squash... I'm keeping those delightfully shaped garden edibles. )

 

[Hyndeline]

After my last performance, I was booed off the stage.
I look forward to your antics. Entertain me well, or I'm throwing veggies! (though, not the cucumbers and squash... I'm keeping those delightfully shaped garden edibles. )

Wait a minute, if you want US to entertain you, what do you want those veggy delights for?

Anyway, here goes:


Pre-Columbian Chamber Pot by Rybka
I honestly had no idea about this Pre-Colombian taste for indoor pot smoking. Of course we all know what happened AFTER the Colombians took over the drugs market, but pot was not a big part of it... On second thought, I think I saw one of these advertised in House Beautiful magazine. It was supposed to be “authentic,“ which, of course is code for “costs a lot.” But I’m going for the Post-Bauhaus water-saving model. And not to quibble, but where exactly did this chamber pot originate anyway? Anne Hathaway’s cottage? Quetzalcoatl’s pyramid?


Foresight is 20/20 by Merlins Boon
For me it’s more like 200/80. And that includes foresight, hindsight, and peripheral vision. And have you other glasses wearers ever noticed how you not only can’t see, but also can’t hear when you take them off? What’s up with that?


Around Every Corner Is You by shanier
And I thought it was Burger King. Shows you how much I know. Lord, but those places proliferate.


In A Field by Nathan11Spears
This also reminds me of Pre-Colombian pot, only outdoors: "And this hollow feeling grows and grows and grows and grows, and you want to phone your mother and say 'Mother, I can never come home again 'cos I seem to have left na important part of my brain somewhere, somewhere in a field in Hampshire'". F**king Colombians!

Although it occurs that this title could take on another meaning. In a field? Forget it! Can you say "bed"? God knows where that field's been. Next thing you'll be saying why don't we do it in the road? And I don't wanna hear any of that if you build it, they will come crap, either.


Lapsus Carnis by Lauren.Hynde
Ok Miss Smartass I know more languages than you Hynde, what does it mean? Is it Latin? They didn’t offer Latin at my cheesy high school, so I had to take French with Madame Weiner (really, that was her name) and learn how to say totally useless stuff like: “Is the library closed on alternate Tuesdays?” and “Do you always wear nipple warmers when you ski?” (ok, so I made that one up for the ailing doggie)


Out of Gas by WickedEve
Eve, you’re supposed to fill up when you hit ¼ tank babe. My daddy taught me that along with my other “vehicular remembers,” like check the oil once in a while for godssake; check your air pressure (I think he meant the tires, mine seems ok); and um something about the air filter. I forget.


Moonlit Theatre by weed
This reminds me of the drive-in. Gosh, wasn’t the drive-in great? Actually wasn’t weed at the drive-in great? Those days are long gone. You know those speaker thingies that you stuck in your car window never worked right, which was fine cause it’s not like you were watching the movie or anything. You were? Oh.


Million $$$ Club nakedangelina
I used to feel, like Groucho, that I would never want to belong to any club that would have me as a member, but for this one I’ll make an exception.


Photographing Wind by smithpeter
Boy that smithpeter. Always up to something, he is. SP, is this like Kirlian photography, like with ghosts and auras? Or something more base? And is there a pattern with today’s titles--wind, gas, chamber pots? Is this scatology title day? No wonder karma dog called in sick.


Paper Doll by WickedEve
My daughter always wants these and, once she has them, never wants to do the actual work. Guess who ends up doing it? They do make some fascinating paper doll sets these days though. And after your kids go to bed and you have a few glasses of wine some of them, like the first family ones, can be very entertaining.


Concentric Eccentric by WickedEve
I'm wishing very hard this isn't about a quasi famous actor that decided to dedicate himself to NASCAR. Coming from the Wicked, it's got to be about that time she tied k-dog's leash to a tree and forced him to chase his tail.


Single Jazz Thing by smithpeter
If you’re me, there’s never a single jazz thing; it just multiplies. But that Roland Kirk was amazing, playing indefinable jazz, sometimes on two different reed instruments at once. Thanks for the bright moments SP.


Pussy Prose by sweetsubsarahh

I like little Pussy,
Her coat is so warm,
And if I don't hurt her
She'll do me no harm;
So I'll not pull her tail,
Nor drive her away,
But Pussy and I
Very gently will play.

Oh, wait... That's not prose. I give up, have no idea of what sarahh's talking about

 

[Rybka]

Get Well Karma Dog!

KD, I hope you feel better soon! But you will have to get better than well to reclaim this thread from those two!


Regards, Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Thanks Rybka!

That was fun in the way such things are when you don't have to do them every day!

And Lauren baby, it's a miracle! We're virgins! (and they say you can't go home again)

Lauren? How many virgins are we?

 

[WickedEve]

Hyndeline sounds like a mutant. Remember when Dr. Jekyll turned into Mr. Hyde? I can picture you do mutating into the Hyndeline!