Freakin' good titles!

Great advice K-Dog, good thing its nothing I have to worry about no more :p









karmadog said:

I use my Zen wipers to keep my dharma bits fresh smelling.


I survived my slutty days with a simple adage: 'Never fuck what you wouldn't eat.'

That philosophy kept my weasel clean of any warts or weeping, but I got thrown out of a lot of fine restaurants.

I was gonna come back to this tomorrow, not so much for the titles as a story.

Do you remember the mustachioed lady? Well anyhoo, I saw her with her husband for the first time. He had been out of town before, and she was always dressed in ho's clothes. Guess what she was wearing with hubby? Long loose pants and a turtle neck! The 'stache was tastefully combed, too. Not all moussed and spiky like a tramp might wear it.
 
lickmyboot said:


I wanna go to a restaurant with you kdawg. Genius.;)
Lick! You're back! I swear to G that if you weren't back by tonight I was going to send a search party for you! (or at least a e-mail) ;)
 
Yeah, I'm back. It's been a crazy month and I've missed you! I needed a recharge on the old creative battery I guess. Just try and get rid of me now! :kiss:
 
lickmyboot said:
Yeah, I'm back. It's been a crazy month and I've missed you! I needed a recharge on the old creative battery I guess. Just try and get rid of me now! :kiss:
Hi licky, we don't want to get rid of you! :D Glad to see you around again.
 
Thanks WE! ;) You know the only thing that keeps me cumming back is to see what insatiable avatar you'll have next!
 
A second attempt at casting a faint light to the beaming glow of kdog's brilliance. - Judo ;)

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I Came To You
by gvmethestars©

Okay, I've heard - I came with you, I came on you, I came in you, I came without you, but "I came to you?" What is that? A new kind of parlor game? Sort've like pin-the-wad-on-the-fuck-buddy?

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Analysis-Paralysis
by Lauren.Hynde©

Girl, I know exactly what you mean. You spend all that money and then inevitably, the therapist asks you, "And how does that make you feel?"

There's that brief little moment where I think of smashing the coffee table over his head, then I answer, "I don't know." Another three hundred dollars right down the drain.

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lousy miscellany
by smithpeter©

Yeah! Where is all the great miscellany? Thanks, SP. It's about time we brought this topic out of the closet. I'm sick and tired of paying for all those bonds and all we get is the lousy end of the stick. Geez!

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Wishing,hoping,needing,wanting
by humblyyours©

Well, the first one I'd add to this list is whining, closely followed by begging. This is always my most powerful last resort when I don't get what I deserve. I mean, what good is it, fucking the king, if you can't be queen?

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our worth is mud
by Palau©

I got you there. I remember spending all that time decorating the pies I'd make in my mom's garden in the backyard. Certainly worth a second look, if not more.

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JUDO said:
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Wishing,hoping,needing,wanting
by humblyyours©

Well, the first one I'd add to this list is whining, closely followed by begging. This is always my most powerful last resort when I don't get what I deserve. I mean, what good is it, fucking the king, if you can't be queen?

____________________________________________________LMAO hehehe should have its privledges shouldnt it :p
 
Well, I was deep frying a nice bit of Chicken Cordon Bleu the other day. I had the chicken pounded flat, stuffed, rolled, and toothpicked. When I went to gently lower the chicken into the oil (so it wouldn't splash), I noticed that my thumb was about a half inch deep in 350 degree oil. Didn't even hurt. At first. I guess it was one of those situations where it hurts so bad that the pain doesn't register for a minute. Anyhow, I yanked my thumb back, the chicken flew about a foot into the air and splashed into the oil. Oil went everywhere. Even in my hair. Man, that hurt. But, of course, my thumb, when the pain hit, hurt by far the most.

Now I have this enormous, bulbous, dangling blob of water and pus at the end of my thumb. I'd pop it, but I fear drowning, especially in blister juice.

I wonder if it would have hurt more, or less if I had breaded it? I'm guessing more, but it would have been more tasty.

Some titles from the last few days that caught my eyes.

Window On The Third Floor by WickedEve
Window On The 23rd Floor by Lauren.Hynde
3rd Floor Window On The World by Rybka
Third Floor Window by lickmyboot
Fall from the third floor by _Land

Looks like all the pervs got ladders. Except Lauren. Her standards are higher, so she got a ladder truck. And poor _Land fell out the window when he saw all those eyes staring at him. Get well soon _Land. And for God's sake don't look out your hospital window.

My Father's Sky - Growling by Rybka

My dad growled so damn much, they finally gave him a rabies shot. Didn't help, and now I'm freakin' infected. GRRrrr.

one day of Chair Bottom Inspector by smithpeter

I once took a job repairing wobbly tables at an enormous bar. It was like the Wal Mart of bars so it was a big job. Part of the job was scraping off all of the used gum from the bottoms of the tables. Peppermint, spearmint, doublemint, Bubblicious, you-name-it. I have never chewed gum since that day. I don't miss college all that much.

She Stoops To Conquer by Angeline

You conquer me every time you bend over, baby!

Longer Trombones by Palau

Karnak holds the envelope to his head. "What do the girls in the band wish the brass section had?"

Seduction of Astronomy by WickedEve

Yeah, right. Try to seduce a woman with astronomy and her color shifts red as the lightwaves stretch from the speed with which she moves away.

Third Floor Shitstorm by karmadog

Reminds me of the time I made brownies for the whole floor in my dorm. I told them they were hash brownies, but they were really Ex Lax brownies. Thank God it was the last day of the semester. Hee hee hee. The fact that I didn't remove the TP from the communal bathrooms shows my kind and gentle heart.

JUDO, _Land, whoever... Feel free to 'do' the titles anytime. I've been laughing my bootie off. Can't even keep my pants up anymore. I'll just drop in on occasion when something funny happens to me. Hopefully I won't be deepfrying anymore body parts.
 
I might be offline for a couple of days. It looks like I'm going to get smacked by big, bad Isadore.

I did something last week that I felt guilty about. I even listened to one of those fire and brimstone radio preachers for almost twenty minutes as penance.

Perhaps it wasn't enough.

Little Pussy is Crying by extra virgin

Wow. Flashback to gradeschool. There was this big bully that used to pick on me. I was short for my age. Thank God I grew. I beat him bloody in high school. Never underestimate the pleasure in revenge. Not that I recommend that sort of thing.

deciduous business by smithpeter

Business is dropping off, huh?

Need vs. Want by Sita

I've got ten bucks on 'Want'. 'Need' can be fulfilled, 'Want' is never satisfied.

How Many Poets? by Rybka

Er... 42?

At Hiccup Rock by smithpeter

I took the train there. Got off at Conjunction Junction.

Toodles. I'll see ya when the rain stops.
 
Well er thank you kdoggie

Karmadog said:

"You conquer me every time you bend over, baby!"




I'm intrigued by your use of boldface to emphasize "every". LOL. It shows a certain amount of thought that made me giggle (either that or I've been editing too damn long today).

I should mention, I suppose, that I ripped off the title She Stoops to Conquer from the 18th-century playright, Oliver Goldsmith. I figure he's either rolling in his grave in horror or really excited about where his title ended up. Still, I assure you, his Restoration comedy would have been rated G. Well, maybe PG, but the dirty jokes are pretty obscure.

And Kdog, for heaven's sake be careful! And don't describe your thumb anymore. You'll gross Eve out.

(Oh, I almost forgot. LOL. My son was in that silly musical Schoolhouse Rocks a few years ago. Conjunction Junction ain't a half bad song. If you like grammar. I guess.)
 
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Ah, screw Ollie. Everything he ever wrote is now public domain. Although if he came back and complained he would be far more famous.

Oh, almost forgot. I emphasized 'every' because I didn't want you to think you conquered only when you stooped. Squats, toe touches, crawls, crouches, dips, leans, and simple bends are also triumphant.

Read no further, Eve.

The blister exploded and nearly flooded my house. Now, my thumb has a large tract of fresh, pink skin surrounded by a raised ring of hard, dead flesh.

I hope never to do that again. I'd rather sit on a hot barbeque grill.

(Did you see the MadTV when they did 'Dysfunction Junction'? Hilarious. The boxcars were full of Ritalin and Zoloft which were dispensed to unruly children in large quantities.)
 
karmadog said:
Ah, screw Ollie. Everything he ever wrote is now public domain. Although if he came back and complained he would be far more famous.

Oh, almost forgot. I emphasized 'every' because I didn't want you to think you conquered only when you stooped. Squats, toe touches, crawls, crouches, dips, leans, and simple bends are also triumphant.

Read no further, Eve.

The blister exploded and nearly flooded my house. Now, my thumb has a large tract of fresh, pink skin surrounded by a raised ring of hard, dead flesh.

I hope never to do that again. I'd rather sit on a hot barbeque grill.

(Did you see the MadTV when they did 'Dysfunction Junction'? Hilarious. The boxcars were full of Ritalin and Zoloft which were dispensed to unruly children in large quantities.)
Bad, bad, bad dog! Don't be talking about your blister! When you say "read no further Eve" you know I'm gonna do it!
 
Dysfunction Junction

No dammit--I would have appreciated it, too. Maybe even my son, who is still recovering from his role as the dog Sandy in Annie, primarily because everyone said the costume that I made in my loving maternal way made him look like an ewok.

(waving to see if the conquer thing works)
 
Thanks for the invite, Kdog. I'll occasionally continue to bask in the glow of your wagging butt. - Judo ;)
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Little White House
by WickedEve©

Isn't that the one on the back lawn at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington? The one where "W" does all his serious thinking over the Field & Stream Annual New Gun issue?

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good girl bad girl
by Elda Furry©

Ah, memories... This is exactly how we used to sit around the campfire swapping tales when I was in Girl Scouts - eating smores and talking about the counselors' sex lives.
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Lawyer in the Morning
by Rybka©

Isn't there some kind of old, traditional warning that comes with one of these? "Lawyer in the morning, bankbook take warning." Something like that.

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Blushing Pink and Whispers
by wespeak©

I think my aunt Greta used to have some Blushing Pink Whispers in her back garden next to the Pansies, but they didn't come up one year and she ran off with the lady sheriff. Her husband blushed pink for a year after.
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Sculpture of Diana
by Never©

I saw a sculpture of Diana the Huntress at the Kansas City Museum of Modern Art sculpture garden once. I must've stood there under that tree for an hour checking out the leather leggings hugging her amazing ass. Incredible how ancient mythology can make me so horny sometimes.
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Holistically Speaking
by Angeline©

How can one speak holistically? Do you take vegetable-based mints or something? I heard a speech once at the Meditation Center in West LA once by a Guru, but frankly, her holistic topic was more balanced by food, than words. Although, you know, I don't think I could ever, ever do one of those colonics... Well, maybe if I'd had a few too many margaritas first, and you were cute.

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I am cute!

And I know how to make margarita's, too. Nonetheless, I believe I meant holistically in an overarching erm gestalt-like way. Not that I have any idea what THAT would sound like either!

I happened to be on line one night and saw the word being bandied about. Made me react to it in the same shuddering way I do when my mad social scientist colleagues at work use it. They think it is a very sexy word. God knows why. We seem to think that all our tasks are "holistic" or should be. I never quite get why we can't just say we are being "thorough" instead. lol.

Anyway, thank you for the mention!


Oh yeah--if you want a colonic, I think Karmadog has some brownies he baked in college!

;)
 
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JUDO said:
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Little White House
by WickedEve©

Isn't that the one on the back lawn at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington? The one where "W" does all his serious thinking over the Field & Stream Annual New Gun issue?
I knew someone was going to make a White House/little white house comment! lol Actually the devil in this poem could be Bush... hmmm.
 
Re: I am cute!

Angeline said:

I happened to be on line one night and saw the word being bandied about. Made me react to it in the same shuddering way I do when my mad social scientist colleagues at work use it. They think it is a very sexy word. God knows why. We seem to think that all our tasks are "holistic" or should be. I never quite get why we can't just say we are being "thorough" instead. lol.


Well, I did introduce the word Holistic into another thread, I think it was the "words" thread. And I did so because I tend to think in those terms... but I'd never suggest acting in such a way... to quote again (I'm a proud owner of a dikshunairee) "relating to or concerned with intergrated wholes or complete systems rather than with the analysis or treatment of seperate parts." Now, to me, to act in such a manner would be attempting to do everything all at once without concerning yourself with the small details. Somehow, this doesn't sound productive.

Although, it is awfully nice to know that someone out there thinks its sexy to think this way... most of my friends just think I'm wierd. Hey, Angeline, any of those ladies in the office single? :)

HomerPindar
 
Re: I am cute!

Angeline said:
And I know how to make margarita's, too.

Oh yeah--if you want a colonic, I think Karmadog has some brownies he baked in college!
;)

You are cute and I love the salty treat of Mexican border bars, yum!

As for Kdog's brownies - I tend to avoid these things. You never know what someone might bake inside them. "Here take one, you'll really like it."

Nah, I'll just get a diet Coke from the machine.

;)
- Judo
 
Hey Homer???

Don't mind me. The first times I heard it I thought it was a great word. I like the face one makes in the mirror when saying it (I'm weirder than most people realize haha). But these people I work with killed it. You know how that happens? Like in meetings lol and then everyone is saying it. I watch their faces--knowing they're just waiting for the right moment to interject it.

I am sooo cut out for academic type life. Or maybe this is what happens after you are there too long.

Your word is fine. It was the bad people who wrecked it.

And I'm afraid if I tell you who's single, you'll starting calling me Yenta the matchmaker.
 
I bet those people who are now thinking 'holistically' were thinking 'outside the box' just a few months ago.

Personally, I can't think at all when I'm inside a box.
 
I wouldn't know

I've always thought outside the box. But that's the kind of free spirit I am.

Actually, the biggest, most sexy of sexiest things to say where I work now is:

"It's all about the hits, baby."

What does this mean? (And, perhaps more importantly, who cares, but it's better than hearing about Kd's thumb, huh Eve?) It means you work on website design. Not that boring scut work crap that the losers work on, but the cool, up-to-the-minute technology. Not that you're proud, nooooo--you're world weary and ironic and savvy, so you know that "hits" means clicks onto the site. And you say "baby" to show you're hip and will take the train home to Soho and stop off for a martini and and and

you get the picture.

Me, I just sit in an office hidden far away saying things like:

"No, I can't recommend an average number of commas per screen."

"Well, sometimes it's better to say 'due to,' others, 'because.' It all depends."

I don't care about the hits, baby.
 
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What about spanks?

Well, that storm was pretty minor for me. Some downed limbs, a little damage, but nothing too scary. You know, there are quite a few Yankees down here now, and they frequently say things like 'I just want to see one big hurricane'. They are idiots. The only one I've been through (Isadore was only a tropical storm) was fairly small, but more than enough for me. I smuggled the dog into a hotel room (my lot is pretty heavily wooded), and we laid in bed listening to the wind scream through the cracks in the doorframe. That was the only time I've ever seen my dog scared.

Lawyer in the Morning by Rybka

Man, that's gotta be worse than coyote ugly.

Girls' Night Out by Angeline

I love to see women doing this, but man it's tough to cut one out of the pack. On the other hand, if one of them's wild, they all are. So the night might turn into a topless lapdance fest. Why doesn't every group of girls have an Elda?

Peeling Onions makes you Cry by guilty pleasure

If deep frying my thumb didn't make me cry, onions don't have a chance. Now, Old Yeller... That makes me cry.
 
Uh Thanks I Think

and I thought I was playing softball. Now it seems I was at the straight girls' equivalent of Hooters. What are those guys called? Those dopey guys with the bow ties and cuffs? They are so very silly. And actually kind of pathetically scary, if you really think about it.

Hope the thumb is better. You've had a rough few days, haven't you? (Oh and a simple yes or no is fine--Eve doesn't want to know about the infected, scabby, corpusctulent....well you get the idea.)
 
Re: Uh Thanks I Think

Angeline said:
and I thought I was playing softball. Now it seems I was at the straight girls' equivalent of Hooters. What are those guys called? Those dopey guys with the bow ties and cuffs? They are so very silly. And actually kind of pathetically scary, if you really think about it.

Chippendale's, darling! Masculine, pretty, gym-queens (Nice to look at, but they're all gay). Didn't you see The Full Monty? The real guys there were parodying the Chippendale fellas.

;)
- Judo
 
Angeline wrote"

“Man, all music is folk music. You ain’t never heard no horse sing a song, have you?”

Satchmo

Not from the front end at least! :p

Regards,                 Rybka
 
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