Freakin' good titles!

[karmadog]

Well, that's scary. There are two police cars parked in front of my house. I'd go find out what they want, but what if they want me? I don't think I've done anything wrong, but you never know. My dog's out there barking her ass off at them, so maybe they'll get annoyed and go away.

It worked, there they go. Or maybe they were just sharing some Krispy Kremes. Who knows what cops do?

Pierrot's Penis by JUDO

Did you know that Pierrot translates, more or less, to little Peter?

The Crazy Locust King by Debra Hendricks

If I were king of the Locusts, I'd be crazy too. All that buzzing and buzzing and buzzing... Hahahahahahahahahaha I think it's starting already. Somebody call the exterminator!

A Brief History of Poetry by Angeline

In the beginning was the Word. And then another Word. And they rhymed, and it was Good.

Fleshen Collar by Scherezade

I saw a picture once of a botched circumcision. That would be the best way to describe what was left. Ugly, but probably a good tickler. But I don't think that's what the poem is about.

Chickadee-haiku by Rybka

fat drunken nose sniffs
out my little chickadee
damn that's not funny

Pedestrian Haikus by Palau

joyful light blinks on
blinks off time is getting short
walk dont walk dont walk

where are they now? by smithpeter

Celebrity Boxing, mostly. I can't wait for Gary Coleman vs Emanuel Lewis. Or Punky Brewster vs Blossom. Those would be good.

There's a woman on Springer having sex with her household appliances. I mean she's humping the dryer, the vacuum, even the blender. Actually, I suppose that might work, she's got crushed ice in the blender. There's supposed to be a woman who's fetish is strapping on antlers and being hunted like a deer.

I feel so normal.

 

[JUDO]

Pierrot's Penis by JUDO

Did you know that Pierrot translates, more or less, to little Peter?

No, I don't think I knew that. I always thought of Pierrot as the character from legend, or the song from Schönberg in "Pierrot Lunaire." Since it was for OT and his first chose AV is an artist's posing maquette that has been referred to as a puppet (the legend's Pierrot) and end's in OT, I thought it was an appropos synonym for him.

So, does the title then mean "Little Peter's Penis" or that just your fear?

Thanks for the mention, kdog. Arf!


- Judo

 

[Angeline]

Pierrot

I thought Pierrot was that little horrible clown doll (I have an er problem with clowns--they um frighten me with their weird artificial gaity).

Now that OT AV is more a mannikin. An artist's model to be bent, molded, shaped (in Eve's case, broken). But I don't think it's a
cl- cl- (choking) clown.

And thank you for the mention, doggie. I had no idea my poem was so biblical.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Pierrot was not horrible. He was the sad little white one who was always heartbroken. Pierrot and Colombine, Pantalon and Arlequin... Commedia Dell'Arte characters... Never heard of the 'little peter' theory. Me thinks the doggy made that up.

 

[Angeline]

Arrrghhhhhhhhhh

Lauren, lauren (hyperventilating)--no clown pictures!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Ooops! Sorry!

But you said they frighten you with their weird artificial gaity! There's nothing gay (read: merry) about poor Pierrot

 

[karmadog]

There you go, underestimating me again. Pierrot is, of course, the character from the Commedia dell'Arte, but the name, is a dimunitive of Pierre. Like Danny for Daniel, or Ivanka for Ivan. Traditionally, they were used for children to distinguish from the adult version. Hence, Pierrot = Little Pierre or, since Pierre translates to Peter, Little Peter.

Sheesh, it's not like I make this stuff up!

Oh yeah, I do. But not that one.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Makes sense, K-doggy. I sincerely apologize.

 

[karmadog]

Lauren, I'm sorry. I got snippy. That's not like me (actually, maybe it is, but I didn't mean to be that way with you). I was stressing with some RL crap that had nothing to do with you. Anyhow, my apologies.

So, would you believe the Turkish belly dancer was at my jernt again? I wouldn't, but there she was. I tell you, I think we may be destined for each other. I mean if it weren't for the fact that she still doesn't like me for the 'fat belly dancer' comment. Man, that woman can hold a grudge. It's not like I said it about her.

Sunday Eve by smithpeter

I like Eve everyday, so Sunday is just a bonus. (Betwen you and me, smithpeter is amazing. He always writes a line that I wish I had written.)

Seperate Serendipities by JUDO

My serendipities are always seperate from my bets. That's why I don't gamble anymore. Well, that and I can't afford to lose.

True Ecstasy by Benitta Josephine

My rave friends tell me this is very rare. Like a female orgasm the first time you have sex. Or like an honest politician. Or like a low fat cheese burger. Or an honest drug addict. Or... Ok I had a tough, ugly day.

Mater's Voice by Moyd's_jewel

Well, I immediately thought of the RCA dog, but I doubt that's what this poem is about. I think that makes me kinda square.

PS Welcome to a new poet.

The Limo and the Fete by JUDO

I swear, I don't look at the names. This reminds me of my sisters' weddings. She always has to have the damn limo. I bet her next two or maybe three will have a limo too. I don't mind, but they never stock Irish Whiskey.

Chichen Itza by Angeline

I have to admit it. I thought it said 'Chicken Eatsa'. What a great horror movie that would be. Chicken eatsa city. Or a porn movie. Chicken eatsa weasel. Or like a turducken. Chicken eats a duck. Or the natural world. Chicken eats a BAITWORM.

Fizzle Fish by Xtaabay

Like the time I dropped the fluorescent light in the tank. They still don't taste that good.

walking pretty in ankle weeds by smithpeter

Is that better than sitting pretty with chancre seeds? I don't know, but it sure as hell sounds better. Still, I think emptying the sand out of the boots might be in order.

Well, it's been another tough day for the 'dog. It turns out the Turk doesn't like me. The slow girl is kind of a ho. And the msutachioed lady is at home with her hubby.

It's tough to be a lonely dog.


Hoooooorrrrrrrooooooooo. Har har harooooooooooooo.

 

[Angeline]

Chichen Itza

Chicken eats a BAITWORM.

I hope you're happy. I just spit coffee on myself.

er--laughing. laughing, dammit.


Ty for the mention, though.

 

[JUDO]

Seperate Serendipities by JUDO

My serendipities are always seperate from my bets. That's why I don't gamble anymore. Well, that and I can't afford to lose.

The Limo and the Fete by JUDO

I swear, I don't look at the names. This reminds me of my sisters' weddings. She always has to have the damn limo. I bet her next two or maybe three will have a limo too. I don't mind, but they never stock Irish Whiskey.

It's tough to be a lonely dog.

Hoooooorrrrrrrooooooooo. Har har harooooooooooooo.

Weddings? Sister keeps getting limos for each of her weddings? Good God, who keeps paying for this?
lol. (By the way, I prefer Scotch. And not the tape, either.)

Sorry to hear about your continuing Turkish Temptress' Travails. Maybe she has a little sister you can corrupt? Always a great source for "cum-uppance." (heh-heh)

Thanks for the mentions, kdog, and both are my attempts at Kyrielle.


- Judo

 

[smithpeter]

dog

thank you
smile

 

[karmadog]

Scotch v Irish

Not that I don't like Scotch, I do, but I find it interesting that they never discovered how to keep the peat stink out of their whiskey, while the Irish (bless 'em) did. I mean Ireland is the land of peat. One pejorative for my poor, maligned ancestors was 'bogtrotter'. Come to think of it, maybe it was a sort of inferiority complex that made them find a way.

I think your shoes are stupid by smithpeter

Oh yeah? Well, I'll have you know that they can read the date on a dime by standing on it. And... and... they can... alright, they are stupid.

my life in a nutshell by Palau

Cramped. I'm guessing cramped.

They Used To Be Poets by OT

Then they got jobs.

She Glares by Chicklet

Yeah, bright lights reflected off the wet spot. That's why bright lights are a no-no in the bedroom.

Oscar and Orcas by Rybka

I wouldn't have given 'Free Willy' an Oscar, but then I'm not a fish.

poetry is futile by OT

The spaceship lands and a hideous alien comes out of the ship.

"Poetry is futile," it says.

Hemingway rises from the grave and slaughters the hideous beast with short choppy sentences, thus saving the world.

Volcano Within by neonurotic

Well, my chili isn't for everyone.

Two Prongs by smithpeter

I've often dreamed of having two prongs. The One Man DP Machine they'd call me. Then again, I'm already multi-pronged, although maybe the other ten should just be called tines being so much smaller. One on my lap, one on my nose, and another ten worn like gloves. Now there's a fantasy.

What a game football fans. If you missed LSU-Kentucky, you missed a hot one. KU goes up with 11 seconds remaining, then LSU makes a lucky TD with no time remaining after KU doused their coach with Gatorade. And the Wildcats cried. So sad.

 

[Rybka]

Re: Scotch v Irish

Oscar and Orcas by Rybka

I wouldn't have given 'Free Willy' an Oscar, but then I'm not a fish.

Neither is Willy!
(However, I'd at least fed him Jack Klugman & Tony Randall as well!)

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[karmadog]

So there I was at 3AM, biking away trying to lose a few extra pounds. It's dark and there are probably more drunks on the road than cigarette butts, so I'm keeping a sharp eye out for headlights, an ear out for engine sounds and squealing tires, and I'm keeping close to the side of the road. What I didn't realize was that I had forgotten the greatest danger to a 3AM cyclist. But I found out. Oh yes I did.

Suddenly there was a blast of sound and something rose from the tall grass at the side of the road. I swerved, but not quickly enough and what ever it was struck me a hard blow to the side of my head followed quickly by a 'plop' on my shoulder. I didn't fall, but it was a near thing. I looked back and saw a mourning dove rising to roost on the power lines. The difference between a dove and a pigeon is the difference between a regurgitation and puke so you know what that 'plop' on my shoulder was.

I have something in common with Horatio Nelson, Eros, Napoleon, and those big fiberglass dinosaurs at the prehistoric park.

One night at Squeeze. by ignatz33

With your Maitre d' Mr. Whipple

Sinphony by lickmyboot

This title immediately made me think of this really sexy cello player I knew in high school. I remember like it was yesterday the view up her dress when she spread her legs to put that fat fucking cello between her legs. I was so jealous.

X is not what you think or I feel by smithpeter

I immediately thought this poem was about me. You see, as far as most people who know me in RL know, my last name is X. I was actually introduced to a girlfriend's parents as [karmadog]X. I don't know why nobody likes when I date their daughter.

Returning Jackass by nakedangelina

I haven't seen it, but I did laugh when I saw the commercial. There was just something funny about that midget kicking himself in the head. On purpose, no less.

seventeen days before the wedding by nakedangelina

Don't count your chickens, O naked one. You haven't even asked me yet!

scurrilous curmudgeon by smithpeter

I'm looking forward to one day being a scurrilous curmudgeon, but without the degree I'll probably just end up a dirty old man.

Watch out for the pigeons, but don't look up. And what the hell was that idiot bird doing on the ground in a neighborhood full of cats. Did he drop his keys to the birdhouse? Was he checking his childrens droppings for his wedding ring?

 

[JUDO]

Sinphony by lickmyboot

This title immediately made me think of this really sexy cello player I knew in high school. I remember like it was yesterday the view up her dress when she spread her legs to put that fat fucking cello between her legs. I was so jealous.

Seems to go with the territory. I remember a number of very sexy cello players I met while in university. I guess it might have something to do with sliding big vibrating things between your legs everyday for hours and getting praise for it.

Cello players. Yummers.

- Judo

 

[lickmyboot]

Always wanted to play a cello....player.

I think the harp is sexier though...still have to spread your legs, but not quite as wide. Just a flash of flesh. And red high heels. Requires excellent fingering.

 

[karmadog]

I'm getting a little stircrazy. I've been cooped up writing for a week now. My skin's getting pale and my ass is getting wide. I'm going to have to put on a sweater and go bike riding. Hopefully, I won't be struck by any birds.

butterflies and fingers: haiku x4 by Lauren.Hynde

My dyslexia kicked in again. I thought it said 'butterfingers and flies'. Of course, that made me think of a woman overcome with lust while eating steamed lobster with drawn butter. MMmmm... lobster.

The Surly Season by OT

Oh man, I didn't realize they had a hunting season on people like me. This could be trouble--I don't think I can tamp down my surliness for very long. How long is the season?

Voracious Contempt by Unwanted

It's nice to see Unwanted being outraged instead of depressed.

don't move by Senna Jawa

Ah, I remember using this phrase when I was new to sex. That moment: Wait... wait... dontmovedontmovedontmove... too late.

Apple of His Eye by Angeline

If you've got apples in your eyes, it's time to clean those crusties out of the corners.

It's so cold, but it feels so good by Lovepotion69

No it doesn't. Man, I'm such a Southerner now. It's 45 and I'm freezing. Of course, it's also really damp so the cold goes straight to my bones.

 

[Angeline]

Apple of His Eye by Angeline

If you've got apples in your eyes, it's time to clean those crusties out of the corners.

Thank you for the mention. I wiped my eyes and used Visine, too. Got the red out.

 

[OT]

Originally posted by karmadog
The Surly Season by OT

Oh man, I didn't realize they had a hunting season on people like me. This could be trouble--I don't think I can tamp down my surliness for very long. How long is the season?

I like it. It just might catch on.

Bag you limit of Surly's - open season between 8-10 every Monday.
I wonder if it'd be sporting to get them while they are whining around the water cooler?

You might want to sleep in tomorrow

 

[karmadog]

I had the strangest dream last night. My memory of it is hazy, but it involved Tyra Banks and a group of lemurs singing 'We Are Family' which is pretty weird when you think about it, because humans and lemurs aren't very closely related at all.

Key in Hand by neonurotic

If you were to see me unlocking my door at 3 or 4 am, my key would be on my foot or being juggled by hands that work as though they were made of cheese.

Bayous Sleep [a haiku] by neonurotic

Actually, I don't think they do because they make a hell of a lot of noise. Maybe they're snoring.

pen complications by Sir Phoenix

Like trying to herd pigs? Or reloading a fountain pen?

Zen is attacking my sanity. by HomerPindar

I can relate. My dharma teacher used to ask me these annoying questions where the only answer was, What are you talking about? If anyone else asked them, you'd just tell them to put down the bong.

eating instructions 1 by smithpeter

I remember the first time I had lobster. Have you ever had boiled crabs? They're even more difficult to eat. Fortunately, the first time I had them (blue crabs I mean) the girl I was dating was a genuine Louisiana bayou girl. She could pick a crab clean in about fifteen seconds flat. It took me about fifteen minutes, but I got it down to ten after some practice. Nothing like boiled crabs, beer, and onion rings. Yummm.

Now I'm hungry. Good thing Turkey Day will soon be here. Have y'all ever had deep-fried turkey? It's the best turkey you'll ever have. What are you going to have?

 

[_Land]

LOL, thanks for the enlightenment K-dog

 

[Angeline]

Lemurs

I had the strangest dream last night. My memory of it is hazy, but it involved Tyra Banks and a group of lemurs singing 'We Are Family' which is pretty weird when you think about it, because humans and lemurs aren't very closely related at all.

Maybe they meant it more in a figurative sense....

 

[_Land]

Re: Lemurs

I had the strangest dream last night. My memory of it is hazy, but it involved Tyra Banks and a group of lemurs singing 'We Are Family' which is pretty weird when you think about it, because humans and lemurs aren't very closely related at all.

Maybe they meant it more in a figurative sense....

Who in the world is "THEY"??????? the beings that sent him the dream the lemurs or maybee the drinks from the night before.......

 

[smithpeter]

instructions

Thank you for the mention, dog,
eat your heart out,