Freakin' good titles!
- Thread starter karmadog
- Start date
HomerPindar
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karmadog said:
Read altogether here, one might wonder what drugs, pig herding, or fountain pens might have to do with anything...
And of course the answer is, EVERYTHING.
Thanks, Kdawg
HomerPindar
karmadog
Now I'm a drink behind.
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I've noticed a strange trend lately on television commercials. They are using children as spokespersons to sell me serious items: cars, homes, insurance. I wouldn't take a nine year old's advice on what movie I should see. Why would I trust a nine year old to choose my car or who is a good home builder? Really, the only advice a child might give is what color booger tastes best. Still, I probably wouldn't ever know if he was right.
Speaking of boogers (Eve, skip to the next para), when I was a kid, there was this awful child that lived near me. He had a particularly bizarre method for booger dining. He would pull long strands out of his nose like string cheese, then put them on his desk (yes, this was in class. the most common phrase that any teacher uttered was, Jack, get your finger out of your nose) and leave them there until they dried. Then he would scrape the now dessicated goo off his desk with his blunt scissors. And eat the scrapings off of the blades!
I hear he's a doctor now. I hope to God he washes his hands regularly, and who knows what he uses his scalpel for--Snot sushi anyone?
Fuck Me HARD by vixenshe
Henry Miller once wrote that he had fucked a woman so many times in a row, that by the end, spent and limp, it was like stuffing suet up a drainpipe.
remembering the nest by smithpeter
smithpeter was hatched? That might explain a few things. (Aside to smithpeter: Rock, Paper, Penis? Paper seems all powerful here. It wraps Rock and cuts Penis. Thank God there's no Lemon Juice!)
I'll Be Damned by Route66Girl
I guess that would make you Route666Girl. (ps, this could be a really good song)
Lava Lamps: A trilogy by darkmaas
I used to wonder who got the lava out of the volcano, and what did they carry it in. And I bet the genie that came out of one of those lamps could seriously kick your ass.
The Circuit by Angeline
The rodeo circuit? I saw video last night of a rodeo clown trying to jump over a bull. Didn't work. I wonder if he had been to Crete and seen the paintings of the bulldancers and thought to emulate them. Or was he just an idiot.
God, I Love Football! by sweetsubsarahh
A woman that loves football?!? I think I love ssshh! Now if only she doesn't mind a beer belch now and again...
Now I have to go buy a Mitsubishi. A seven year old told me to.
Speaking of boogers (Eve, skip to the next para), when I was a kid, there was this awful child that lived near me. He had a particularly bizarre method for booger dining. He would pull long strands out of his nose like string cheese, then put them on his desk (yes, this was in class. the most common phrase that any teacher uttered was, Jack, get your finger out of your nose) and leave them there until they dried. Then he would scrape the now dessicated goo off his desk with his blunt scissors. And eat the scrapings off of the blades!
I hear he's a doctor now. I hope to God he washes his hands regularly, and who knows what he uses his scalpel for--Snot sushi anyone?
Fuck Me HARD by vixenshe
Henry Miller once wrote that he had fucked a woman so many times in a row, that by the end, spent and limp, it was like stuffing suet up a drainpipe.
remembering the nest by smithpeter
smithpeter was hatched? That might explain a few things. (Aside to smithpeter: Rock, Paper, Penis? Paper seems all powerful here. It wraps Rock and cuts Penis. Thank God there's no Lemon Juice!)
I'll Be Damned by Route66Girl
I guess that would make you Route666Girl. (ps, this could be a really good song)
Lava Lamps: A trilogy by darkmaas
I used to wonder who got the lava out of the volcano, and what did they carry it in. And I bet the genie that came out of one of those lamps could seriously kick your ass.
The Circuit by Angeline
The rodeo circuit? I saw video last night of a rodeo clown trying to jump over a bull. Didn't work. I wonder if he had been to Crete and seen the paintings of the bulldancers and thought to emulate them. Or was he just an idiot.
God, I Love Football! by sweetsubsarahh
A woman that loves football?!? I think I love ssshh! Now if only she doesn't mind a beer belch now and again...
Now I have to go buy a Mitsubishi. A seven year old told me to.
HomerPindar
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The nose knows no no's, least not those who know not to nose around others noses..or their desks appearently.
HomerPindar
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karmadog said:
As long as it's from your diaphragm, baby! I appreciate the poem mention!!
smithpeter
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dog
good golly!
your comments indicate that you actually read my poem.
New respect is infectious.
good golly!
your comments indicate that you actually read my poem.
New respect is infectious.
karmadog
Now I'm a drink behind.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2001
- Posts
- 1,198
The KMart near me now has self check out. Have any of you seen these? The way it works is you scan your own items, and there is a machine to insert cash or a credit card and it gives you change and a receipt. I love this thing! It's much faster than waiting in line because many customers are scared of the thing. You're probably asking why I would bring this up here. Well, I think this technology will reduce the teen pregnancy rate.
One of the worst things about being a young man is purchasing condoms. Often, the checkout lady is kind of old and radiates disapproval. I remember a few years ago, I went to buy condoms at a drugstore and the checkout lady was elderly. She gave me a very disapproving look and was actually surly (the surly were out of season, OT). I was 35, so I went back the next day and went up to the same woman with about ten boxes of condoms, Redi Whip, maraschino cherries, chocolate sauce, a huge jug of Wesson oil, a spatula, and several large candles. She looked at my items in horror, and I asked her, "Where are the Slip and Slides? I couldn't seem to find any."
I nearly gave her a heart attack. When she said they didn't have any, I told her the other items would be no fun without one, and walked out.
But how would a teenager react to some old bitch giving him a hard time about buying birth control? The automated checkout will revolutionize the purchasing of prophylactics!!!
pure babble by OT
So often I get babble that has been adulterated with drivel or ballyhoo. I hate that.
one growing pain by smithpeter
The end result of playing rock-paper-penis. Rock beats penis painfully. (Only a very starched shirt matches my mailbox)
sunday morning noon by smithpeter
Because this and the previous poem are related. But, I'd sleep all day Sunday after that rock/penis conflict.
a song about Music's Puppet by Senna Jawa
It must be about Britney Spears.
Siren On The Rocks by JUDO
It must be very uncomfortable sitting on rocks all the time. I feel sorry for the sirens. In fact, I'll volunteer to massage their buttocks at the end of a tough day luring sailors to their deaths. Of course, they'll have to be quiet--none of that yak yak yak they'be been at all day.
One of the worst things about being a young man is purchasing condoms. Often, the checkout lady is kind of old and radiates disapproval. I remember a few years ago, I went to buy condoms at a drugstore and the checkout lady was elderly. She gave me a very disapproving look and was actually surly (the surly were out of season, OT). I was 35, so I went back the next day and went up to the same woman with about ten boxes of condoms, Redi Whip, maraschino cherries, chocolate sauce, a huge jug of Wesson oil, a spatula, and several large candles. She looked at my items in horror, and I asked her, "Where are the Slip and Slides? I couldn't seem to find any."
I nearly gave her a heart attack. When she said they didn't have any, I told her the other items would be no fun without one, and walked out.
But how would a teenager react to some old bitch giving him a hard time about buying birth control? The automated checkout will revolutionize the purchasing of prophylactics!!!
pure babble by OT
So often I get babble that has been adulterated with drivel or ballyhoo. I hate that.
one growing pain by smithpeter
The end result of playing rock-paper-penis. Rock beats penis painfully. (Only a very starched shirt matches my mailbox)
sunday morning noon by smithpeter
Because this and the previous poem are related. But, I'd sleep all day Sunday after that rock/penis conflict.
a song about Music's Puppet by Senna Jawa
It must be about Britney Spears.
Siren On The Rocks by JUDO
It must be very uncomfortable sitting on rocks all the time. I feel sorry for the sirens. In fact, I'll volunteer to massage their buttocks at the end of a tough day luring sailors to their deaths. Of course, they'll have to be quiet--none of that yak yak yak they'be been at all day.
karmadog
Now I'm a drink behind.
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- Nov 22, 2001
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- 1,198
navel gazing
I know it's awful soon for me to be doing this again, but I'm suffering a crisis of confidence and I'm unable to write. Don't cry for me, Argentina, I'll be writing again soon.
I hope.
I was thinking of this time back in college, oh, 150 years ago, when I was hanging with this girl I knew. We'll call her Lisa because that's her name. Anyhow, we weren't sleeping together or even screwing because she had a boyfriend who mistreated her horribly, but we had some very frank discussions about sex--what had done before, what we wanted to do, what we liked--and we seemed pretty compatible.
So I was at her apartment one night and we were drinking and burning a joint (those were the days) and we suddenly realized that it was late. She said I should stay because it was late and I was baked. I told her that I would sleep on the floor (couldn't sleep on the couch because some months before her lout of a boyfriend had passed out on it and peed on it. She'd had it cleaned, but still). She said she wouldn't here of it, that I could sleep with her if I promised to keep my hands to myself. I promised, but crossed my fingers behind my back.
When we got into bed, she took off her panties under the covers, and I said, "Do you really expect me to keep my hands to myself now?" She indicated that she did, so I said there was no way, and I drove home drunk.
Do you think she was hinting at something?
Who says pot doesn't make you stupid?
Four Letters by Couerdelion
What were the words you can't say on TV? Shit, fuck, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits? Was that it? I can't fuckin' remember! I swear I should knock the piss out of that cocksucker that used to sell me my shit. I have to admit though, that stuff was tits.
sweet dripping pout by eastsidejohnny
I had some of this for dessert at an Indian restaurant once. Or maybe it means... This gay guy once told me this joke: A vagina before sex looks like a dewy rose bud opening in the morning sun. After sex, it looks like a bulldog choking on yogurt.
Lace Maiden by Killswitch
Sounds like a superheroine. Making the world safe for camisoooolllles!
Shucking Rocks by Xtaabay
This is really hard on your hands. But oh how sweet the meat once you get the bastards open.
I know it's awful soon for me to be doing this again, but I'm suffering a crisis of confidence and I'm unable to write. Don't cry for me, Argentina, I'll be writing again soon.
I hope.
I was thinking of this time back in college, oh, 150 years ago, when I was hanging with this girl I knew. We'll call her Lisa because that's her name. Anyhow, we weren't sleeping together or even screwing because she had a boyfriend who mistreated her horribly, but we had some very frank discussions about sex--what had done before, what we wanted to do, what we liked--and we seemed pretty compatible.
So I was at her apartment one night and we were drinking and burning a joint (those were the days) and we suddenly realized that it was late. She said I should stay because it was late and I was baked. I told her that I would sleep on the floor (couldn't sleep on the couch because some months before her lout of a boyfriend had passed out on it and peed on it. She'd had it cleaned, but still). She said she wouldn't here of it, that I could sleep with her if I promised to keep my hands to myself. I promised, but crossed my fingers behind my back.
When we got into bed, she took off her panties under the covers, and I said, "Do you really expect me to keep my hands to myself now?" She indicated that she did, so I said there was no way, and I drove home drunk.
Do you think she was hinting at something?
Who says pot doesn't make you stupid?
Four Letters by Couerdelion
What were the words you can't say on TV? Shit, fuck, piss, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits? Was that it? I can't fuckin' remember! I swear I should knock the piss out of that cocksucker that used to sell me my shit. I have to admit though, that stuff was tits.
sweet dripping pout by eastsidejohnny
I had some of this for dessert at an Indian restaurant once. Or maybe it means... This gay guy once told me this joke: A vagina before sex looks like a dewy rose bud opening in the morning sun. After sex, it looks like a bulldog choking on yogurt.
Lace Maiden by Killswitch
Sounds like a superheroine. Making the world safe for camisoooolllles!
Shucking Rocks by Xtaabay
This is really hard on your hands. But oh how sweet the meat once you get the bastards open.
G
Guest
Guest
Re: navel gazing
Ha ha! You know, I somehow had the feeling you would post that title here. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. However, I was certain you would say something else about it, so I was slightly surprised
--Xtaabay
p.s.
saw your post on the other thread... you mean I have to wait until I can use a lavalamp picture under my name?! Darn it!
karmadog said:
Ha ha! You know, I somehow had the feeling you would post that title here. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist. However, I was certain you would say something else about it, so I was slightly surprised
--Xtaabay
p.s.
saw your post on the other thread... you mean I have to wait until I can use a lavalamp picture under my name?! Darn it!
JUDO
Flasher
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karmadog said:
I thought 'Jingle Boobs' would be more appropos. lol.
Well, I saw Lauren's new holiday AV and I was thinking. Hmmm... What is seasonal and fills you with anticipation like the holiday?
And, it just came to me! Poof!
Don't you just love this season?
HomerPindar
Literotica Guru
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JUDO said:
A quick summation of Homer at his computer:
click...pause to load...scroll, read read read, scroll, click,pause, read read, re-wtf!!
To hell with the season, more AVs!
HomerPindar
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I'm working on a new story.......
Entitled "Serendipity"
So question.....would that make you interested in taking a look?
I remain....(curious)
Entitled "Serendipity"
So question.....would that make you interested in taking a look?
I remain....(curious)
Angeline
Poet Chick
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- Mar 11, 2002
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karmadog said:
Don't you just love this season?
I do, I do. Your AV is a hit JUDO, so raise your hands up high and do a victory dance!
Something tells me I made an AV decision that is as stupid as it is amateurish. And JUDO don't do it--I think kdog is up to his no good doggy tricks. You know: Do Victory Dance, Sit, Lay Down!
Don't you just love this season?
I do, I do. Your AV is a hit JUDO, so raise your hands up high and do a victory dance!
Something tells me I made an AV decision that is as stupid as it is amateurish. And JUDO don't do it--I think kdog is up to his no good doggy tricks. You know: Do Victory Dance, Sit, Lay Down!
Last edited:
G
Guest
Guest
Re: I'm working on a new story.......
Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm sure it's a lovely poem. But the title "Serendipity" immediately made me think of a Hallmark card. It shouldn't. But it did. So if I saw that title I would probably not read it. (of course, by now most of you know that I have no room to talk because some of my titles are pretty... erm... well, whatever it is that they are).
My humble two cents,
--Xtaabay
Thesandman said:
Please don't take this the wrong way. I'm sure it's a lovely poem. But the title "Serendipity" immediately made me think of a Hallmark card. It shouldn't. But it did. So if I saw that title I would probably not read it. (of course, by now most of you know that I have no room to talk because some of my titles are pretty... erm... well, whatever it is that they are).
My humble two cents,
--Xtaabay
karmadog
Now I'm a drink behind.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2001
- Posts
- 1,198
Sandman, probably not. I'm not usually a fan of the one word title. A single word is not usually enough to drag me in.
A title, especially for a story, should create a conflict or an unusual juxtaposition or curiosity. Something that hints at what is to come. 'Serendipity', while the word is not in daily use, is not unusual enough or thought provoking enough to hook me.
On the other hand, a really long title is just annoying. I resisted 'The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay' by Michael Chabon for a long time because of the stupid title, but I was worn down by the weight of the excellent reviews and the fact that I had been impressed by Chabon's first novel, 'The Mysteries of Pittsburgh'. Now that's a good title. The reader immediately has to wonder, What the hell is mysterious about Pittsburgh? I mean besides why people live there. (Kidding Pitt, don't send any unemployed steelworkers to kick my ass)
Another great title is 'Hills Like White Elephants' by Hemingway. Simple, yet poetic, much like the story. 'The Snows of Kilimanjaro' is another good one. It has a romantic and adventurous feel to it that makes me want to read it.
I think that finding a title is one of the hardest things to do. Almost as soon as I have an idea for a story, in the back of my mind I start thinking about what to call it. Sometimes I come up with something really good, but more often, I come up with something lame just to be able to finally finish it (see my first story here called gag 'The First Time'. Pathetic).
One thing that doesn't work, at least for me, is to let somebody read the completed story and suggest titles. I've been so turned off by other people's ideas that I've nearly lost friends over it.
If you discover the formula for finding the perfect title for any story, please please please share it.
A title, especially for a story, should create a conflict or an unusual juxtaposition or curiosity. Something that hints at what is to come. 'Serendipity', while the word is not in daily use, is not unusual enough or thought provoking enough to hook me.
On the other hand, a really long title is just annoying. I resisted 'The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay' by Michael Chabon for a long time because of the stupid title, but I was worn down by the weight of the excellent reviews and the fact that I had been impressed by Chabon's first novel, 'The Mysteries of Pittsburgh'. Now that's a good title. The reader immediately has to wonder, What the hell is mysterious about Pittsburgh? I mean besides why people live there. (Kidding Pitt, don't send any unemployed steelworkers to kick my ass)
Another great title is 'Hills Like White Elephants' by Hemingway. Simple, yet poetic, much like the story. 'The Snows of Kilimanjaro' is another good one. It has a romantic and adventurous feel to it that makes me want to read it.
I think that finding a title is one of the hardest things to do. Almost as soon as I have an idea for a story, in the back of my mind I start thinking about what to call it. Sometimes I come up with something really good, but more often, I come up with something lame just to be able to finally finish it (see my first story here called gag 'The First Time'. Pathetic).
One thing that doesn't work, at least for me, is to let somebody read the completed story and suggest titles. I've been so turned off by other people's ideas that I've nearly lost friends over it.
If you discover the formula for finding the perfect title for any story, please please please share it.
JUDO
Flasher
- Joined
- May 1, 2001
- Posts
- 2,240
Towards a Title Formula?
Titles are bait. They need to be designed to lure the designated readers (those which the author had in mind when they wrote).
Popular genres in the video rental world might give us a clue for good lures(just ask BlockBuster's marketing department). Romantic comedies and action-adventure are two of the largest sections there.
What are words that hint at: comedy, romance, adventure or action?
For me, adventures, using your example, Kdog, always refer to places that are unfamiliar to me: Kilimanjaro, Lanai, Elephanta Island, Madagascar, Sal Paulo.
Action: War, Road, Journey, Battle, Fight, Guns
Romance: Magic, Romance, Knight, Lost, Star, Time
Comedy: Truth, Puzzle, Buddies, How to, Day, Night
And great titles always creat a mystery -- a question that resonates in the mind: Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Strangers On A Train, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Clear and Present Danger.
So, if we take some of these words that evoke certain feelings and combine them in a title that asks a question, do we get close to finding a good or great one?
Examples:
The Hidden Guns of Elephanta Island - action
Straight Living in Sau Paulo - comedy
Lania's Lost Lovers - romance
A Star Falls in Madagascar - adventure
Maybe.
- Judo
Titles are bait. They need to be designed to lure the designated readers (those which the author had in mind when they wrote).
Popular genres in the video rental world might give us a clue for good lures(just ask BlockBuster's marketing department). Romantic comedies and action-adventure are two of the largest sections there.
What are words that hint at: comedy, romance, adventure or action?
For me, adventures, using your example, Kdog, always refer to places that are unfamiliar to me: Kilimanjaro, Lanai, Elephanta Island, Madagascar, Sal Paulo.
Action: War, Road, Journey, Battle, Fight, Guns
Romance: Magic, Romance, Knight, Lost, Star, Time
Comedy: Truth, Puzzle, Buddies, How to, Day, Night
And great titles always creat a mystery -- a question that resonates in the mind: Sleepless in Seattle, When Harry Met Sally, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Strangers On A Train, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Clear and Present Danger.
So, if we take some of these words that evoke certain feelings and combine them in a title that asks a question, do we get close to finding a good or great one?
Examples:
The Hidden Guns of Elephanta Island - action
Straight Living in Sau Paulo - comedy
Lania's Lost Lovers - romance
A Star Falls in Madagascar - adventure
Maybe.
- Judo
karmadog
Now I'm a drink behind.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2001
- Posts
- 1,198
The Hidden Guns of Elephanta Island
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Babar wear long sleeved shirts.
Straight Living in Sau Paulo
Methodists in Brazil! (Actually, this would be a good title, but only with the exclamation point. Without it, it becomes a sociology paper.)
Lania's Lost Lovers
The tale of an absent minded tramp and the day she buried her lovers in the sand. In part 2, she digs them up.
A Star Falls in Madagascar
The only movie star in Madagascar trips over a fast moving sloth.
None of those titles would work for me, with the possible exception of Straight Living in Sao Paolo. I think there needs to be something conflicting or thought provoking. I really don't think there is a formula. Titling is an art and one of the most difficult ones. It combines poetry, marketing, advertising, and psychology.
edited for a mislaid apostrophe
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Babar wear long sleeved shirts.
Straight Living in Sau Paulo
Methodists in Brazil! (Actually, this would be a good title, but only with the exclamation point. Without it, it becomes a sociology paper.)
Lania's Lost Lovers
The tale of an absent minded tramp and the day she buried her lovers in the sand. In part 2, she digs them up.
A Star Falls in Madagascar
The only movie star in Madagascar trips over a fast moving sloth.
None of those titles would work for me, with the possible exception of Straight Living in Sao Paolo. I think there needs to be something conflicting or thought provoking. I really don't think there is a formula. Titling is an art and one of the most difficult ones. It combines poetry, marketing, advertising, and psychology.
edited for a mislaid apostrophe
karmadog
Now I'm a drink behind.
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2001
- Posts
- 1,198
Every year it comes by americandemon
Well if you stick it in the chimney more often, it would come more than once a year!
"My hair will be long" by Xtaabay
Homer Simpson's dream and, someday, mine.
David Bowie's Sex Appeal by Xtaabay
Well, he has none to me, so I'm in the dark. His wife is a total babe, though, so if it can be bottled and worn like cologne, I'm buyin'. I'm just afraid it might start attracting pale, skinny, androgynous boys. Blecch.
Conical Duality/ Lavalamp by Xtaabay
Let me put my lavalamp between your conical dualities. Hee hee.
Turkey Jerky by Xtaabay (Again with the Xtaabay?)
I like turkey jerky. I like salmon jerky. But for you tastebuds sakes, stay away from the herring jerky. It's awful. No kidding.
Behind That Mountain by pointless
I don't know what's going on behind that mountain, but when she comes around it, she's always coming.
Your mother's so fat, she comes around the mountain.
Profoundly Crude or... by Senna Jawa
Are you talking to me? You talking to me? Are you talking to me? doing my best Travis Bickle
Oh, well then definitely the first choice.
High Cooze Dreamland by oediplex
This would be a great name for a swing swing club, if you take my meaning. Mind you don't hurt yourself when you jitterbug 69!
Eater of Skin by Esha
Stop Chewing Your Cuticles!!!
Cactus Patch Christmas by TiggerHunter
This reminds me of the time my then-girlfriend shaved her pussy for my Christmas present. The thing was, we celebrated early because we had to spend the actual day with her parents (oh God, the misery) and I had to work Christmas Eve (no, I am not now, nor have I ever been Santa). So anyhow, by the time we got home on Christmas, it was a... [see above].
There's a hole in your face by silken_dreammaid
There's a hole in your face
they made it for pie
but pie's like a wedge
the hole like an 'O'.
Instead find a peg
that might fit the 'O'
While I spend my time
licking the hedge!
(Don't worry, that's mine not the dreammaid's hee hee)
Nice Butt ! by OT
Er... thanks?
Should readers be allowed to vote? by WriterDom
Well, we saw what happens when non-readers vote in Florida.
The Rainbow Room (my head) by Sir Phoenix
Every room's a Rainbow Room with LSD! I should really write adcopy.
On Ice by Cordelia
Thank God for hockey season! OK, Cordelia's not writing about the greatest sport on earth. She's also not writing about the horrible fate of the beasties at the fish market, nor oysters on the halfshell. No, she's writing about the way your lover warms their ice cold feet in the small of your back. I can deal with a few extra pounds, some acne, greasy hair, floppentitzen, and halitosis, but keep your frozen clawfeet outta my back! Sorry--bad memories.
Well if you stick it in the chimney more often, it would come more than once a year!
"My hair will be long" by Xtaabay
Homer Simpson's dream and, someday, mine.
David Bowie's Sex Appeal by Xtaabay
Well, he has none to me, so I'm in the dark. His wife is a total babe, though, so if it can be bottled and worn like cologne, I'm buyin'. I'm just afraid it might start attracting pale, skinny, androgynous boys. Blecch.
Conical Duality/ Lavalamp by Xtaabay
Let me put my lavalamp between your conical dualities. Hee hee.
Turkey Jerky by Xtaabay (Again with the Xtaabay?)
I like turkey jerky. I like salmon jerky. But for you tastebuds sakes, stay away from the herring jerky. It's awful. No kidding.
Behind That Mountain by pointless
I don't know what's going on behind that mountain, but when she comes around it, she's always coming.
Your mother's so fat, she comes around the mountain.
Profoundly Crude or... by Senna Jawa
Are you talking to me? You talking to me? Are you talking to me? doing my best Travis Bickle
Oh, well then definitely the first choice.
High Cooze Dreamland by oediplex
This would be a great name for a swing swing club, if you take my meaning. Mind you don't hurt yourself when you jitterbug 69!
Eater of Skin by Esha
Stop Chewing Your Cuticles!!!
Cactus Patch Christmas by TiggerHunter
This reminds me of the time my then-girlfriend shaved her pussy for my Christmas present. The thing was, we celebrated early because we had to spend the actual day with her parents (oh God, the misery) and I had to work Christmas Eve (no, I am not now, nor have I ever been Santa). So anyhow, by the time we got home on Christmas, it was a... [see above].
There's a hole in your face by silken_dreammaid
There's a hole in your face
they made it for pie
but pie's like a wedge
the hole like an 'O'.
Instead find a peg
that might fit the 'O'
While I spend my time
licking the hedge!
(Don't worry, that's mine not the dreammaid's hee hee)
Nice Butt ! by OT
Er... thanks?
Should readers be allowed to vote? by WriterDom
Well, we saw what happens when non-readers vote in Florida.
The Rainbow Room (my head) by Sir Phoenix
Every room's a Rainbow Room with LSD! I should really write adcopy.
On Ice by Cordelia
Thank God for hockey season! OK, Cordelia's not writing about the greatest sport on earth. She's also not writing about the horrible fate of the beasties at the fish market, nor oysters on the halfshell. No, she's writing about the way your lover warms their ice cold feet in the small of your back. I can deal with a few extra pounds, some acne, greasy hair, floppentitzen, and halitosis, but keep your frozen clawfeet outta my back! Sorry--bad memories.
silken_dreammaid
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2002
- Posts
- 1,141
karma....
~grins~
There was an "O" there,
'til your peg stretched it wide.
Now the pie fits easily -
it doesn't even touch the sides.
The hedge is now trimmed
and watered and fed,
shaped into topiary art.
"Thank you - I think" she said.
silken
~grins~
There was an "O" there,
'til your peg stretched it wide.
Now the pie fits easily -
it doesn't even touch the sides.
The hedge is now trimmed
and watered and fed,
shaped into topiary art.
"Thank you - I think" she said.
silken
