Freakin' good titles!

[Unmasked Poet]

Karmadog aka K-Dog, aka K-diddy,

With those ears I know you can hear the standing ovation. Okay so now I'm really clapping.

U.P.

 

[karmadog]

Thanks UP.

I'm actually just using this thread as training to take over for Dave Barry.

angeldust by angeldusted

angeldust=heavenly clittylitter
Seriously, does this mean the same thing as it did when I was a kid? I hope not. Not that I want to give drug advice, but if you must, stick with LSD.

Tracing Scars - Her Murmur Rings by Rybka

I wonder how bad it hurts to have your murmur pierced. I'm not sure I could even find mine. (Aside to Rybka: I named it Jane because the wind had already gotten Mariah)

Naughty Nurse Kevorkian by WickedEve

I'm ready for my sponge bath nurse. Wait a minute. What's that tube for? Hey! Get away from there!

Final Concerns by WickedEve

After the nurse is done with you. You know I just had a picture of Dr. Jack pop into my mind. He's dressed in one of those sexy nurse uniforms. Not like the ones they actually wear, but short and low cut with a frilly bra and lace stockings, high heeled shoes. Not a pretty picture is it? How would you like that to be your last sight on earth?

 

[WickedEve]

Naughty Nurse Kevorkian by WickedEve

I'm ready for my sponge bath nurse. Wait a minute. What's that tube for? Hey! Get away from there!

Final Concerns by WickedEve

After the nurse is done with you. You know I just had a picture of Dr. Jack pop into my mind. He's dressed in one of those sexy nurse uniforms. Not like the ones they actually wear, but short and low cut with a frilly bra and lace stockings, high heeled shoes. Not a pretty picture is it? How would you like that to be your last sight on earth?

You're a sick puppy. lol

 

[karmadog]

Eve accused

You're a sick puppy. lol

Don't put me down! I'll get better! Promise!

But not today.

Bubble Bath by Devyne

Like all dogs, I hate baths, but at the bottom of the page this poem was on was an ad for "Naughty [College Cuties! Liquored up and ready to fuck!". I'll take a bath with them.

AOHell by Chicklet

Truer title was never written. BTW, isn't it time Chicklet became a full-fledged Chick? When does that happen? After first molt? I don't know, I didn't grow up on a farm.

Skin Beneath Foam by Rybka

Just about ready to shave. But what to shave... What to shave? Hmmm

Paycheck Hell by nakedangelina

It seems like 90% of the world is underpaid, and the other 10% is grossly overpaid. I can't wait until the baseball players go on strike. I bet that hire substitutes like rich men did during the Civil War. Wouldn't it be fun to watch them walk a picket line? I'd go to the ball park and pelt them with rotten vegetables. Big sissies.

 

[karmadog]

Titles for Lovers

My Oral Talent by WickedEve

I bet it's singing. Yeah, I bet Eve sings like an angel.

Octothorpe by Rybka

I bet somebody froze Jim Thorpe like Ted Williams, and this poem is about the 8th clone. Soon we'll have Decarose, and Tetramontana running around.

Spankin' Sally by Clymax

Saturday night at the karmadog house.

"No officer, I can't keep it down. I'm spankin' Sally!"

Super Heroes In Tights by Elda Furry

The Joker can join us
Has a thing for capes
We won't make a fuss
If his asshole gapes

I can't top that.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Titles for Lovers

Originally posted by karmadog My Oral Talent by WickedEve

I bet it's singing. Yeah, I bet Eve sings like an angel.

You silly man-dog, it's about brushing my teeth!

 

[Elda Furry]

Re: Titles for Lovers

Super Heroes In Tights by Elda Furry

The Joker can join us
Has a thing for capes
We won't make a fuss
If his asshole gapes

I can't top that.

Oh, karmadog, you don't have your usual witticism to add? lol
I must tell you that I have a thing for men in tights and capes. I have a life-size cardboard cutout of Batman and Robin beside my bed. But I'm not telling you what I've been doing with them.

Elda Furry

 

[karmadog]

re: superheroes

Elda, you must be hell at a Shakespeare Festival or a Renaissance Fest. LOL

Do you prefer the superhero in a more natural costume like Superman, or a molded costume like Batman?

Speaking of superheroes. I saw a picture of Serena Williams at Wimbledon. She was hammering a forehand and she had jumped a little so her toes were pointed downward, but not touching the ground and her left hand was raised in a graceful, curved 3/4 position. She looked like she had been drawn by Stan Lee. Beautiful, beautiful body. Muscular, yet extremely feminine. Maybe I have a thing for superheroes, too.

 

[Elda Furry]

Re: re: superheroes

Elda, you must be hell at a Shakespeare Festival or a Renaissance Fest. LOL

I caused a scene at the last one I attended. I was thrown out, but I did return home with 3 pairs of tights and 5 capes. I must say, those men put up quite a fight.

Do you prefer the superhero in a more natural costume like Superman, or a molded costume like Batman?

I like the way Adam West looked in his costume. You know he had to be secure with his masculinity to dress that way.

 

[JUDO]

Re: to JUDO

Crap, I've been discovered.

"Calling the mothership. Come in mothership. Come on you saucer ridin' bitches, answer me!"

I think they left me. Probably started chasing a comet and got lost.

LMAO! Now...that is fuckin' funny. Saucer Ridin' Bitches...hee, hee, hee! I feel a poem comin' on...


- Judo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: contrite titles

Slither by Lauren.Hynde

Put this in a double feature with razor blade smile and I'll be completely freaked out. Imagine something with razorblade teeth slithering towards you on the floor... Actually, that reminds me of my first blowjob. She had braces and ended up being a very unpleasant girl. It was like putting my penis in a blender, but I was young, so I didn't stop her. I got revenge by not giving her the shoulder tap. Ha Ha Ha ha... cough, hack cough... Ahem.

You silly, silly dog... Are you sure you're not supposed to be writing sketches for Monty Python or something like that? But you must be right, there seems to be a razor blade simily in that poem somewhere. There's something to freak out Eve: twin snakes with razor sharp teeth, slidering in the night.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: Re: to JUDO

LMAO! Now...that is fuckin' funny. Saucer Ridin' Bitches...hee, hee, hee! I feel a poem comin' on...


- Judo

Ahhhhhhh! *running for cover* The Ridin' Bitches are comin', they're comin' to take over the world, I tell ya!!!

 

[nakedangelina]

Paycheck Hell by nakedangelina

It seems like 90% of the world is underpaid, and the other 10% is grossly overpaid. I can't wait until the baseball players go on strike. I bet that hire substitutes like rich men did during the Civil War. Wouldn't it be fun to watch them walk a picket line? I'd go to the ball park and pelt them with rotten vegetables. Big sissies. [/B]

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
*lol* Ewwwee! Get 'em kdog!! Smelly, rotten veggies - maybe an egg or two. Then we could shoepolish their fancy cars and wrap their mansions with toilet paper. On a rainy night.
~gee, guys, that really does sound fun, I'm warped.~

 

[Guest]

toilet paper the town

Since they're paying $100 million dollars to grown men for playing kid's games, I think, since I was the town champion at playing "doctor", someone should give me some money. I'll take $50 million. I'm not greedy.

Eagle Skregle by Rybka

I'm not sure but I believe this is the exercise that raptors do to make their vaginal muscles tight. They mate in mid-air, you know. I would think that tight muscles would be important. Of course, you'd want the female eagle to be easily orgasmic or you might crash into the ground.

Uh oh. I just read the poem. I better be careful. This might be a threat. Just so you know, Mr. Eagle, I'll be hiding under my house!

Male Species by littlemissblair

You know oneof the tests for if a group is a species is if they can mate with one another. I guess that's possible. Did you know you can get pregnant from anal sex?

Where do you think lawyers come from?

Ode to Juicylips by SummerRose

O! Damp and drippy vulva.
Sea-scented and salty.
They squeeze me.

Well, her poem is much better than mine.

you're my blue heaven by E-Nymph

This would be a good advertising phrase for Labatt's beer. I haven't had one since I moved to the South. Canadian beer is awful down here. I don't think it likes the heat.

No One Does You Better by JUDO

Well, I am pretty good. I always seem to like what I do, but I could pick just about any girl on the street and I'd like it better.

It's Hard to Smile by WillowPuss

Actually, it's easy to smile when you're hard. It's hard to pee though. Now come on, WillowPuss, Turn that frown upside down.

E I E I O by damppanties

Young damppanties had a farm
E I E I O
And on that farm she had some cocks
E I E I O

All roosters. No hens but damppanties.

Greedy, greedy, greedy. But that's okay. I want a harem of concubines, but no wives. Look though, I'm not selfish. I know it's virtually impossible for one man to keep that many women happy all by himself, so I'll gladly supply them with all the sex toys in the world. Strap-ons, butterflies, vibrators, oils, feather dusters, swings, handcuffs. Whatever they want. Plus they wouldn't have to be in the harem long--I'll be dead in a month.

Unless the mothership returns.

 

[karmadog]

That was me. What an idiot!

Eve said

You silly man-dog, it's about brushing my teeth!

Can I help you floss?

 

[WickedEve]

Re: toilet paper the town

Originally posted by karmadog
Eagle Skregle by Rybka

I'm not sure but I believe this is the exercise that raptors do to make their vaginal muscles tight. They mate in mid-air, you know. I would think that tight muscles would be important. Of course, you'd want the female eagle to be easily orgasmic or you might crash into the ground.

 

[E-Nymph]

Re: toilet paper the town

you're my blue heaven by E-Nymph

This would be a good advertising phrase for Labatt's beer. I haven't had one since I moved to the South. Canadian beer is awful down here. I don't think it likes the heat.


Greedy, greedy, greedy. But that's okay. I want a harem of concubines, but no wives. Look though, I'm not selfish. I know it's virtually impossible for one man to keep that many women happy all by himself, so I'll gladly supply them with all the sex toys in the world. Strap-ons, butterflies, vibrators, oils, feather dusters, swings, handcuffs. Whatever they want. Plus they wouldn't have to be in the harem long--I'll be dead in a month.

Unless the mothership returns.

yep that's me, writing beer advertizing. a frat boys wet dream all wet t-shirts and beer suds. LOL

harem huh? why does that sound like like a video tape worth renting- "k-Dog and his harem of hotties" ??

it will take care of that ache of yours until the mothership arrives.

 

[JUDO]

Re: toilet paper the town

No One Does You Better by JUDO

Well, I am pretty good. I always seem to like what I do, but I could pick just about any girl on the street and I'd like it better.

We're all worth a shot, especially after an evening of bad one-liners.

Originally post by karmadog
It's Hard to Smile by WillowPuss

Actually, it's easy to smile when you're hard. It's hard to pee though.

Okay, now you made me spit up my coffee on the keyboard.

Originally posted by karmadog
E I E I O by damppanties

Young damppanties had a farm
E I E I O
And on that farm she had some cocks
E I E I O

All roosters. No hens but damppanties.

Greedy, greedy, greedy. But that's okay. I want a harem of concubines, but no wives. Look though, I'm not selfish. I know it's virtually impossible for one man to keep that many women happy all by himself, so I'll gladly supply them with all the sex toys in the world. Strap-ons, butterflies, vibrators, oils, feather dusters, swings, handcuffs. Whatever they want. Plus they wouldn't have to be in the harem long--I'll be dead in a month.

Unless the mothership returns.

I see why you started the thread. You had to have a place to test your funny stuff. You have a big future in stand-up, dog.

If you keep this going, I may have to start "Karmadog's best lines" thread.


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

When I get up in the morning, I don't have coffee while I read the paper. I have my diet soda while I read this thread. Kdog, you're addictive!

 

[karmadog]

Titles that give ya the DTs

Eve surgeon generaled:

Kdog, you're addictive!

Shhh, If the gov't finds out, I'll only be available through your pharmacist.

X O - Factor by Solar Dragon

A Fpx rip off of the Fear Factor. Contestants are hugged and kissed by Rosanne Barr and Richard Simmons until they gag.

Max Grande Latte & the Extra Cheese by Tom Mandy

Bathroom-wise, I think that would be a wash.

There weren't enough poems today. I hope smithpeter is back writing soon. But until then, here are some titles from the smithpeter canon that I particularly liked. There are many others.

A Romantic In Hell

No women, no dogs, no paper nor pen. Now I'm depressed.

Dustiny

I don't know for sure what this is about, but I'm sure I have a shitload of dustiny bunnies under my doomchair.

Glue Bottom

When I was little (5 or 6), I remember being in school on a beautiful spring day. I didn't want to be there, so I put a puddle of Elmer's on the teacher's chair thinking that when she sat down, I could make a dash for the door and she wouldn't be able to catch me. Didn't work.

Smiling Face-Dog

<----- see Av. You can't tell in that picture, but her tongue is roughly the size of her body. She's very popular with the bitches that wear flannel collars.

You know, going through those poems, I was reminded of just how good a poet sp is.

 

[karmadog]

adhesive titles

Killer Butterfly by Rybka

Oh no! Mothra has gone mad and is destroying Tokyo! mouth is moving out of sync with words

Disposa Disfrocks by Angeline

Before Disposa disfrocks, is she Posa Frocked?

truant by wildest1

It's National Poet Skip Day! Don't go to school, call in sick to work, leave your babies with your mother! Go fishing, play frisbee, lay around in the park!

Ho-ku/Found Poetry by karmadog

This lazy bastard has started picking up poems off the ground. And in the worst neighborhoods, too. I hope he used antibacterial soap after touching them.

The author's lawyer would like him to state that he is not responsible for keyboards, clothes, other material goods and chattel property that might be damaged by beverages spilled or projected (orally or nasally) during the reading of this thread.

Thank you.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Titles that give ya the DTs

You know, going through those poems, I was reminded of just how good a poet sp is.

Yes, he is a good poet, but he's a tease! He said he hopes to submit something soon, but I think he's toying with us. lol

 

[WickedEve]

Re: adhesive titles

Killer Butterfly by Rybka

Oh no! Mothra has gone mad and is destroying Tokyo! mouth is moving out of sync with words

Disposa Disfrocks by Angeline

Before Disposa disfrocks, is she Posa Frocked?

truant by wildest1

It's National Poet Skip Day! Don't go to school, call in sick to work, leave your babies with your mother! Go fishing, play frisbee, lay around in the park!

Ho-ku/Found Poetry by karmadog

This lazy bastard has started picking up poems off the ground. And in the worst neighborhoods, too. I hope he used antibacterial soap after touching them.

The author's lawyer would like him to state that he is not responsible for keyboards, clothes, other material goods and chattel property that might be damaged by beverages spilled or projected (orally or nasally) during the reading of this thread.

Thank you.

You missed one!
Slow Hand, Hard Dick, Dirty Mind
I was wondering what would happen if the words were shuffled around a little bit.
Slow Mind, Hard Hand, Dirty Dick

 

[karmadog]

Oops

You're right, I did miss one. Thank you for pointing out how feeble my mind has become. I had hoped I was hiding it.


Slow Hand, Hard Dick, Dirty Mind by Ladiesman10

If you rearrange it this way: Slow Dick, Hard Mind, Dirty Hand

you get a poem about Clint Eastwood. I think the way you had it, it's a poem about a hillbilly wifebeater who doesn't bathe.

 

[WickedEve]

Dirty Hillbilly Men give good lovin' and black eyes.
I think I'll stick with your Clint Eastwood version.