Have you ever cheated before?

[jakelc]

Yes, even though I have no reason to, I have a fantastic wife, a good marriage and a great sex life so no real explanation why i cheated. Its just something I wanted to do, the excitement didn't come from actually cheating but from the sex and an added thrill from who I cheated with. I know I should be sorry but I'm not.

 

[BJ476]

Yes Many times

I have cheated so many times I cannot remember all of them anymore. All my life I have searched for that perfect lady, a lady who would know and understand my needs. I'm always searching, and the older I get the bolder I get. I have found some who were close, real close but the very thing that turns me on will cause a woman to move on eventually.
Would I leave my wife if that woman of my dreams came along? In a second! Especially if she really got off to using me the way I need.

 

[screwher]

My wife

No I've never cheated but I know my wife has. It was a few years into our relationship and it almost destroyed it. She denied it but the evidence was too strong. Now she's stopped denying it, she just gets real quiet and her demeanour changes whenever infidelity gets brought up by an outside source.

The funny thing is now I'm aroused by the idea of other men screwing my wife. I've master bated to that guy fucking her and would love for her to drop her panties for another guy again. I don't ever see that happening again but it's a hell of a fantasy.

 

[norfolklad]

No I've never cheated but I know my wife has. It was a few years into our relationship and it almost destroyed it. She denied it but the evidence was too strong. Now she's stopped denying it, she just gets real quiet and her demeanour changes whenever infidelity gets brought up by an outside source.

The funny thing is now I'm aroused by the idea of other men screwing my wife. I've master bated to that guy fucking her and would love for her to drop her panties for another guy again. I don't ever see that happening again but it's a hell of a fantasy.

I'm surprised you haven't discussed the possibility with her.

 

[Wildcat445]

I "technically" cheated in a sense, on my ex. She had already filed for divorce, we were both barely on speaking terms (yet still under the same roof), and I was already shopping around before it was finalized. I'd hooked up with a lady via chat and we had some online sex before she drove over to my parents' house (which was vacant) and we spent an evening having sex together. It was just a one-nighter, and we never met after that since she got a bit psycho with her demands. But it was still fun and I don't regret it!

I almost cheated with a girl I worked with. I dropped hints and tried to make something happen when a group of us were on a business training trip together, but she was very old fashioned and would not consider it, even though her own relationship with her boyfriend was very rocky (and not soon after, she tossed him out). Even after my ex filed for divorce and this girl was living alone, she told me to let her know when it was finalized...THEN we could go out together (or more). But she ended up finding someone in the meantime.

After my ex moved out, I had a live-in GF for a few years which started out hot and heavy and, towards the end when things sort of chilled between us (we just didn't agree on everything and didn't quite mesh as a couple, and she stayed on, having nowhere to move to at the time), I met up one morning with another girl I'd met online for a quickie. And I met my current GF (or now, FWB) and dated her for several months before the other GF moved out.

My current relationship is the same; it started great and we were engaged at one point, but we just have too many differences now. In fact, she had a little "emotional cheating" issue about a year and a half ago that really tipped the scales for me. I know she is too paranoid of pregnancy, diseases and even cleanliness to go all the way with anyone beside me, but her denying it, then blaming ME for it, really set the tone for how it played out. We do get on OK now as friends (with occasional benefits ), but things have cooled. If I hooked up with someone now, I wouldn't even consider it cheating at this point. And I plan on being very proactive in finding a partner for an evening when I go on a couple of solo trips this year.

 

[screwher]

My wife

I'm surprised you haven't discussed the possibility with her.

I have kind of tip tied around it to gauge her response and I'm pretty sure she'd never go for it. Her infidelity was twenty years ago. So much had changed for her mentally since then. She never so much as looked at another man twice since then. Although she's called the guys from the "Supernatural" TV series "dreamy" and I recently found out first hand Chris Helmsworth dressed as Thor gets her wet.LOL.

I think it's best to let things happen organically. If I begin to suspect her attraction to another man I'll discuss it with her and we'll go from there. Maybe if she knows she has my blessing she may be up for it. No hurry though. I'm enjoying the fantasy.

 

[TomBoner]

Three times with another woman. Two times were with another married woman and the other time was with a woman who was engaged. All three were people I was working with closely for work, when I was on the road, although they didn't work at the same company I was working with. All three were just pure sexual attraction that led to fast, furious, but inevitably short lived affairs. Super fun but short lived.

 

[Annatartywife]

Never 'cheated' and never will, always have permission to have fun or I tell immediatley if anything has happened (on a night out etc).

Would never risk my marriage or my lifestyle for a daft fling.

 

[MrFoxwood]

I suppose I should explain, because I'm not sure my experience truly fits in this thread.

I've been honest with every guy I've ever dated that I will never be sexually faithful. My husband knew long before we ever married, and he knew that I had made good on that promise, more than once, before we ever married.

We are a very happily married couple and I see other guys (with my husband's knowledge); however, I don't think cheating is okay. I don't think it is ever okay to do something that can hurt another person. I understand people make mistakes and I think mistakes should be forgiven, but a continued pattern of cheating demonstrates a deeper emotional problem that, left to fester, will only cause continued unhappiness within the relationship.

Of course, some of you may feel that if I am seeing other guys, even with my husband's consent, I am still cheating. I don't really understand that, but in my own defense, I would never do anything to hurt my husband. In my definition, cheating has to go against your partner's wishes.

Exactly. It's cheating if it goes against the terms implied or agreed upon.

 

[musicman1978]

Never cheated on a significant other, but I have been the other guy. The lure of being with a hot wife is too much to pass up on (when I am in a relationship).

 

[policywank]

I suppose I should explain, because I'm not sure my experience truly fits in this thread.

I've been honest with every guy I've ever dated that I will never be sexually faithful. My husband knew long before we ever married, and he knew that I had made good on that promise, more than once, before we ever married.

We are a very happily married couple and I see other guys (with my husband's knowledge); however, I don't think cheating is okay. I don't think it is ever okay to do something that can hurt another person. I understand people make mistakes and I think mistakes should be forgiven, but a continued pattern of cheating demonstrates a deeper emotional problem that, left to fester, will only cause continued unhappiness within the relationship.

Of course, some of you may feel that if I am seeing other guys, even with my husband's consent, I am still cheating. I don't really understand that, but in my own defense, I would never do anything to hurt my husband. In my definition, cheating has to go against your partner's wishes.

Absolutely. Cheating means not playing by the rules. You and your husband make the rules and they are none of society's business

 

[abcookie]

Technically I don't think it was cheating because I was separated from my ex at the time, but there was/is a major taboo being violated with my current lover because he's my son's friend. It's a major turn on for that reason, and after we did it the first time I realized what kind of sexual experience I was missing out on by staying with my husband. There was no going back.

 

[docmartin]

But are you cheating on your son?

 

[jakereeder22]

Zjahshdhshdhxhxhhxxjx

 

[mrspank30]

It's funny to me that 60% of the poll answers say they have cheated, yet there seems to be a high amount of folk claiming they never have or ever would cheat on the thread. Maybe the "non cheaters" are just more vocal.

For me I am a grey area myself. I have played around but never had full intercourse with someone other then my spouse while married. However, When I was single I probably slept with a dozen married women. So not sure where exactly I fall in with this mix.

 

[BiDrew42]

I cheated on my girlfriends all through high school, I cheated when I was in the military, and I cheated on my now ex-wife right up until the day we were married (had sex with one of her bridesmaids the night before the wedding and I also had sex with a transsexual the day of my wedding), but after we were married I never cheated on her once. Silly me, I took my wedding vows very seriously. I tried throughout my marriage to convince her to add other men and women to our relationship, but while she expressed interest, she would never go through with it. In a strange twist of fate, our marriage ended because she had at least two affairs that I am aware of. I got over the first one, but could not forgive her for the second.

After my divorce I had several short term relationships with men and women, and cheated on all of them. I have been in a long-term relationship with my current girlfriend but it is an open relationship and we are both very active with other partners, both together and separately. We don't consider it cheating since we ALWAYS tell each other about everything. We have no plans to get married as we are both extremely happy with our current relationship, but I often wish I'd met her 25 years ago when I first met my ex.

 

[luvemboth]

Silly me, I took my wedding vows very seriously.

Taking a vow seriously is silly? That seems a really sad statement. A vow is the same as giving your word: Not something to be taken lightly.

 

[BiDrew42]

Silly me, I took my wedding vows very seriously.

Taking a vow seriously is silly? That seems a really sad statement. A vow is the same as giving your word: Not something to be taken lightly.

That comment was an attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor. I think if you read the entire message you realized that I was the only one in that marriage who took the vow seriously and I didn't cheat on her even after I found out she was having a second affair.

 

[Beck31]

No. I don't intend to either.

 

[katmarlowe]

I did in high school and college because I was young and an asshole. I used to justify it constantly to my friends as some big feminist statement: "Guys can fuck whoever they want without impunity but a girl does it and it's a big deal."

So those years were spent with me dating one guy and then going to a party and going down on one of the girls in the bathroom. Sleeping with one girl and then getting fucked by the guy from one of my classes. Funny thing, I was discreet enough that no one caught on so I continued doing it.

Then I grew up and saw how my friends' relationships were hurt by cheating and remembered being one on the other side of the equation. Absolutely sobering.

 

[magicalmoments]

Because of the way your poll is worded I have had to answer "yes" rather than no. A lady and I only participated in mutual oral activities and neither of us considered that to be cheating as no penetration ever took and neither was it expected. We both agreed no intercourse of any kind would happen and it didn't - therefore no cheating took place.

I did not have sexual relations with that woman..... Yeah Right!

 

[magicalmoments]

Yes, even though I have no reason to, I have a fantastic wife, a good marriage and a great sex life so no real explanation why i cheated. Its just something I wanted to do, the excitement didn't come from actually cheating but from the sex and an added thrill from who I cheated with. I know I should be sorry but I'm not.

I can identify with this. My story is similar.

 

[norfolklad]

Yes, even though I have no reason to, I have a fantastic wife, a good marriage and a great sex life so no real explanation why i cheated. Its just something I wanted to do, the excitement didn't come from actually cheating but from the sex and an added thrill from who I cheated with. I know I should be sorry but I'm not.

There is also the fact that, as human beings, we get bored with an unvaried diet.

That applies in all aspects of life, not just sex. If I had beefburgers to eat every night for 20 years my appetite would become dulled, to say the least. You can, of course, become inventive within your marriage and introduce variety that way, but how many of us can actually do that. Besides which, there are few of us who enjoy doing absolutely everything that a partner would like.

The problem with cheating is that it's done behind the partner's back. If it were to be in the open then no harm is being done, but jealousy and insecurity too often intervenes to make that possible.

 

[joe_cox]

Cannot believe people who are so deluded that they can live a life with someone who they desire to cheat and trick. the typical main point here being that one is a bad person if he/she does so, and one should not cheat on one's partner for the sake of hurting them etc. which i certainly agree to..
however what really blows my mind and what i find the most astonishing is that people have such a lack of guts and are so out of contact with themselves, that even though they apparently settled themselves into a relationship that does not meet they desires, they don't seem to wake up and smell the cake being that they are not together with the person they want the most. i guess they get afraid of the thought of life coming at them with full speed like it did in their early days and they had to stand for themselves, or i can also imagine that some of our current self-centered generation simply lacks empathy and sympathy, even for their own life partners, so the equation of; "is this fair.." doesn't even pop up into their minds, and they will surely never realise that they are the ones running around feeling most miserable..

Bottom line is that people seem to not cheat for the sake of their partners, Wake up and find a partner that you would never cheat on, for the sake of your own self..

 

[Laird_Vertron]

A lot of people say they never have and never will cheat. And, with deep respect to Joe_Cox (who offered the idea of finding someone on whom you would never cheat), that's not always feasible. I've been married for almost 20 years and she is a very good person in every way but one - in the bedroom. There is no possible way for me to count the nights I've gone to sleep unsatisfied. Hell, last night I had to try and go to sleep with a hardon that she did nothing to alleviate even though she most definitely knew of both it and of my interest.

It's been said to me that people make they best choices they can with the information they have, and I believe that to be true. No one wakes up and thinks to themselves that they're going to do everything wrong today just for kicks; it simply doesn't happen. People who cheat do so because for whatever reason, it is the best option available to them in that moment. Some, like me, are intentional about it and others say it's a spur-of-the-moment thing. Yes - after 2 decades, God damnit, I do deserve to get my needs met. And at this point in my life, I'm willing to take that risk if it means that I can have a few days of satisfaction once in a while.