How about I task you?

[Sara Crewe]

Short stop says plenty right there.

Tease.

Hmm, I thought I was shortstop 'cause I was in between the bases but willing to go either way.

 

[annaswirls]

This is one of my incongruous poems and one that exhibits my odd delectability in wordsmithing. I know that you will find it confusing..., but please, this one isn't that hard to understand if you would just try. I am intrigued by the sense of poetic reasoning and rules that you bog yourself down with. And then you call it art and freedom of expression. Can't you see the tight little box you limited yourself to?

Hmm. Out of curiousity, who is the YOU to whom you refer? Surely it could not be every person who happens to click upon your thread? Surely you do not presume to know what we will and will not find to be confusing? Surely you would not throw a blanket insult over would - be readers in order to allow us to see more clearly? Does not work that way.

Truth: My only reaction to this pretentious opening was "why would I spend my time reading this person's poem when there are so many millions of poems on this planet yet to be read." What is your intention?


sorry I threadjacked this thread by responding to the post

 

[Tzara]

Hmm, I thought I was shortstop 'cause I was in between the bases but willing to go either way.

You wouldn't by any chance be a switch hitter, would you? Willing to drop one down the line to move someone over? Cover base well?

Uh huh.

Hit for average, I'm thinking.

 

[Sara Crewe]

You wouldn't by any chance be a switch hitter, would you? Willing to drop one down the line to move someone over? Cover base well?

Uh huh.

Hit for average, I'm thinking.

I can bring 'em home... left or right.

 

[Tzara]

I can bring 'em home... left or right.

What I thought.

Hey. You have a Topps card?

 

[Sara Crewe]

What I thought.

Hey. You have a Topps card?

Alas, fame, fortune and my Topps card when to the wayside when I found soccer and moved from shortstop to mid-field.

 

[Tzara]

This is one of my incongruous poems and one that exhibits my odd delectability in wordsmithing. I know that you will find it confusing..., but please, this one isn't that hard to understand if you would just try. I am intrigued by the sense of poetic reasoning and rules that you bog yourself down with. And then you call it art and freedom of expression. Can't you see the tight little box you limited yourself to?

Sly was the Dawg

Sly was the dog and on your back,
soon to be a log on user..
As must, your trust and shield is set as all,
challenge to fend.
Wend the guard and secure your state as the “One”.
Defend as your scion
Poor little sodden child; vice be your only bauble.
And you hide,
then benign as a darkened chandelier.

Who blithely could take,
and rape your former innocence?
Please,
barricade your velorious protest.
Still the brand charred and,
then left before thought was formed.
And the nerve and rod behind,
permanent,
is straight and strong.
If only the tide,
of the shaded light,
would wane.

If I could shatter will to pour the stone as flesh.
The literati cracks the bane whip,
thus allocates the vision errant poor pawn.

Shiloh L. Augustine
5-31-2007​

I have been guilty, TMV, of following the threadjack rather than your poem. I apologize for that, but geezus, you're not really serious are you? Your poem reminds me of Noam Chomsky's colorless green ideas sleep furiously: fancy words, syntactically correct, but meaningless.

I certainly agree with you, though, and would call it an incongruous poem. You ain't funnin' us, is you?

 

[Tzara]

Alas, fame, fortune and my Topps card when to the wayside when I found soccer and moved from shortstop to mid-field.

You don't Topp any more? That's a relief.

 

[TMV]

What????????

Sarah Crewe and Tzara...., General Discussion thread if you please.

Champagne-You surprise me. How defensive you have become.

annaswirls-After I said such nice things about you in "to keep the review thread clean". If you think what I said, (both you and Champagne) is arrogant, then you seem rather biased. Maybe it was a comment to ask you to open yourselves a little more, to expand past the little habits that you have become so accustomed to. And no, I wasn't speaking to you singly, But I would think that you have pretty much shown me the meaning of pettiness.

 

[TMV]

reasoning in a storm

I have been guilty, TMV, of following the threadjack rather than your poem. I apologize for that, but geezus, you're not really serious are you? Your poem reminds me of Noam Chomsky's colorless green ideas sleep furiously: fancy words, syntactically correct, but meaningless.

I certainly agree with you, though, and would call it an incongruous poem. You ain't funnin' us, is you?

No, it is far from senseless. But then can I ask everyone to understand? I'm taking in this much..., obviously very few might. Will that stop me? "And The Wing Cries Mary".

 

[wildsweetone]

wildsweetone-You surprise me. How defensive you have become.

hey, i didn't say a word!

 

[TMV]

How foolish of me.

hey, i didn't say a word!

How foolish of me. You're right, I guess I had some other thread on mind. It was Champagne who became offended by something not meant to be offensive. Just figured some had more than brutal self-interest.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Sarah Crewe and Tzara...., General Discussion thread if you please.

wildsweetone-You surprise me. How defensive you have become.

annaswirls-After I said such nice things about you in "to keep the review thread clean". If you think what I said, (both you and wildsweetone) is arrogant, then you seem rather biased. Maybe it was a comment to ask you to open yourselves a little more, to expand past the little habits that you have become so accustomed to. And no, I wasn't speaking to you singly, But I would think that you have pretty much shown me the meaning of pettiness.

Ah, but you see, if you had not posted your poem and comments in a totally arrogant way and made rude assumptions about the entirety of the poetry board I would never have played on your thread. Consider the threadjack feedback on your poem and your attitude. If you would like me to be more direct, and deal with your poem line by line, I'd be delighted to oblige.

You however, do not want feedback on your poem. You want a pat on the back and that's quite annoying.

By the way:

ar·ro·gant (ăr'ə-gənt) pronunciation
adj.

1. Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.
2. Marked by or arising from a feeling or assumption of one's superiority toward others. See synonyms at proud.


Are you so totally daft that you are willing to stand behind the comment, "...if you think what I said, (both you and wildsweetone) is arrogant, then you seem rather biased..." ? If you are, then all I have to say is, wow. Good for you. What planet was it that you came from again?

 

[Tzara]

"And THe Wing Cries Mary".

I like that, TMV. Conflation of Little Wing and The Wind Cries Mary.

I have to ask, though. Are you serious? Are you asking for serious comments?

Just curious.

 

[TMV]

If I was not serious, I would not be here.

Despite Sara's goading and general aggression, I do ask for comments and I have gotten some. Not kind ones or considerate ones ones because of the offensive abuse some people delight in. I have to ask just one thing; are you all so sure in your reading of my poem, that you would cause serious harm to a person that just might have a true point in there reasoning? It seems to me that there is way to much competition going on here in ego-previous detriment.

Oh, yes the forum is doing great with out all these people. But then as I see it, it seems to infuse an elitist attitude here. The most prolific posting here seems to be that others here know far more than I. And excuse me if I contest that. On second thought, I don't need permission. I know what I'm doing and I know that it is unpleasant to the many.

But then I also know that when I stand alone, it's when I stand strongest. The poem has a very definitive subject, spoken in a very indefinative persective. Not everything is as it seems. I mean, living in the beginning of the 20th century, would you....., or would not have......, spoken ill of the Wright brothers? Of Henry Ford, or even a few years earlier, what would you have thought of Edgar Allen Poe? Abraham Lincoln? You are too busy defining your perpective and your thought's as to allow someone to come along with a new thought. And show compassion or understanding, some small support in the understanding that maybe you aren't all that wise? My poem stands as it was. But then maybe I can change some thought's and some filthy habits. And being a poem about habit's, is that what is so incomphrehesible aboutit?

If not me...., maybe you.

 

[TMV]

Oh my! I can feel the glee!

Ah, but you see, if you had not posted your poem and comments in a totally arrogant way and made rude assumptions about the entirety of the poetry board I would never have played on your thread. Consider the threadjack feedback on your poem and your attitude. If you would like me to be more direct, and deal with your poem line by line, I'd be delighted to oblige.

You however, do not want feedback on your poem. You want a pat on the back and that's quite annoying.

By the way:

ar·ro·gant (ăr'ə-gənt) pronunciation
adj.

1. Having or displaying a sense of overbearing self-worth or self-importance.
2. Marked by or arising from a feeling or assumption of one's superiority toward others. See synonyms at proud.


Are you so totally daft that you are willing to stand behind the comment, "...if you think what I said, (both you and wildsweetone) is arrogant, then you seem rather biased..." ? If you are, then all I have to say is, wow. Good for you. What planet was it that you came from again?

Somehow, when you post about self-worth and self-importance, I can't do much else but feel that maybe you are looking into a mirror. I'm so glad that you found my little keyboard mistake and thus, misinterpreted it as a confirmation of your infinite superiority. Your Arrogance. See..., I spelled it right! Do I get a gold-star teacher? Your are quite the expert assasination guard! How sweet it is to pounce upon the illiterate! Oh, oh..., I can feel thee anger growing..., Sara. Come to the dark side Sara!

As to anyone else out there who might be reading this. I know it's confusing and self-absorbed on both sides. (Although I do so as a form of reflection) But God is my witness, I just want you to look at something that does have potential and far-reaching implications. Does my form of poetry leave you confused? Well, then, is it me? Can you do some self-auditing aand then search for what isn't that easy to understand? Like a black man, a racist, a woman or even some one who isn't you?

 

[Sara Crewe]

If you want people to treat you with respect then try showing some. I am not a moderator here and therefore, not bound by any rules that might require me to handle posters with kid gloves. I also have been around Lit long enough to not bite my tongue when some person shows up and acts like they are Jesus Christ<or insert appropriate deity> to the world of poetry and telling all the underlings how ignorant they are to the true meaning of poetry. You think you are the first person to act like this and to say these things?

With regard to your writing, I have two things to say. The first is that if you think the forum is filled with small-minded, stupid people why would you want comments from people here? Secondly, with regard to your statement, "..are you all so sure in your reading of my poem..." If you have to explain your poem in any way, the fault lies with the poem not the reader.

I'm off.

Despite Sara's goading and general aggression, I do ask for comments and I have gotten some. Not kind ones or considerate ones ones because of the offensive abuse some people delight in. I have to ask just one thing; are you all so sure in your reading of my poem, that you would cause serious harm to a person that just might have a true point in there reasoning? It seems to me that there is way to much competition going on here in ego-previous detriment.

Oh, yes the forum is doing great with out all these people. But then as I see it, it seems to infuse an elitist attitude here. The most prolific posting here seems to be that others here know far more than I. And excuse me if I contest that. On second thought, I don't need permission. I know what I'm doing and I know that it is unpleasant to the many.

But then I also know that when I stand alone, it's when I stand strongest. The poem has a very definitive subject, spoken in a very indefinative persective. Not everything is as it seems. I mean, living in the beginning of the 20th century, would you....., or would not have......, spoken ill of the Wright brothers? Of Henry Ford, or even a few years earlier, what would you have thought of Edgar Allen Poe? Abraham Lincoln? You are too busy defining your perpective and your thought's as to allow someone to come along with a new thought. And show compassion or understanding, some small support in the understanding that maybe you aren't all that wise? My poem stands as it was. But then maybe I can change some thought's and some filthy habits. And being a poem about habit's, is that what is so incomphrehesible aboutit?

If not me...., maybe you.

 

[Sara Crewe]

I didn't even notice your spelling mistake, I added the definition hoping you might hear some bells ringing. I'm sorry for making you admit that your illiterate.

I'm not angry, Sweets. Anger would imply I actually give a shit about you. I do need to brush my hair though..can you move the mirror over to the side a little.

Somehow, when you post about self-worth and self-importance, I can't do much else but feel that maybe you are looking into a mirror. I'm so glad that you found my little keyboard mistake and thus, misinterpreted it as a confirmation of your infinite superiority. Your Arrogance. See..., I spelled it right! Do I get a gold-star teacher? Your are quite the expert assasination guard! How sweet it is to pounce upon the illiterate! Oh, oh..., I can feel thee anger growing..., Sara. Come to the dark side Sara!

As to anyone else out there who might be reading this. I know it's confusing and self-absorbed on both sides. (Although I do so as a form of reflection) But God is my witness, I just want you to look at something that does have potential and far-reaching implications. Does my form of poetry leave you confused? Well, then, is it me? Can you do some self-auditing aand then search for what isn't that easy to understand? Like a black man, a racist, a woman or even some one who isn't you?

 

[normal jean]

If you have to explain your poem in any way, the fault lies with the poem not the reader.

Hi Sara

I have learned that the hard way. And I believe it with all my heart. and the first time I ever heard that was a quote on on Rybka's sig line. So now when I write, I keep that foremost in my head. I try to make my subject clear, but it might be clear to the poet and something totally different to the reader.

However, even the most forthright, plainly stated poem can be misinterpreted and that is not a fault, per se, it is merely an individual interpretation. Nothing to be faulted for. Like my river poem. Sometimes a river is a just a river and not a penis, right?



I dont really remember TMV, and I dont really get the strife that seems to permeate the posts that accompany him here, so I will let that go ( I hear a sigh of relief, lol) and wish you all a great night.

I love you guys

 

[TMV]

And shit is not anger????

Like a dog with a bone. And of course I'm such a little pooch to you. On the contrary, you again make an arrogant subtraction by divining superiority by taking my comment as a form to cut. But then, I've been in there company such as you for much too long. Do I give you satisfaction that you have "jacked" my thread? Ever less so because, I'm am not iliterate as to institute that I have been in such arguements as this before.

And I have stood alone, beaten and battered before. But I don't stay down for likes of a bully!! Aren't you just a peach? Wasting your time here, bitching about your little flaws without even mentioning them.

 

[Sara Crewe]

Hi NJ

I would agree that a poem can have different meaning for a reader than perhaps the author intended. However, I would say that if the poet is unhappy with the the fact that a reader was able to place a different interpretation on the poem that poet should look at their words not the ability or lack of ability in the reader.

Hi Sara

I have learned that the hard way. And I believe it with all my heart. and the first time I ever heard that was a quote on on Rybka's sig line. So now when I write, I keep that foremost in my head. I try to make my subject clear, but it might be clear to the poet and something totally different to the reader.

However, even the most forthright, plainly stated poem can be misinterpreted and that is not a fault, per se, it is merely an individual interpretation. Nothing to be faulted for. Like my river poem. Sometimes a river is a just a river and not a penis, right?



I dont really remember TMV, and I dont really get the strife that seems to permeate the posts that accompany him here, so I will let that go ( I hear a sigh of relief, lol) and wish you all a great night.

I love you guys

 

[Sara Crewe]

I didn't waste my time. I offered my opinion. I'm sorry you didn't want it. You aren't angry are you?


Night, Night.


P.S. It's illiterate and argument.

Like a dog with a bone. And of course I'm such a little pooch to you. On the contrary, you again make an arrogant subtraction by divining superiority by taking my comment as a form to cut. But then, I've been in there company such as you for much too long. Do I give you satisfaction that you have "jacked" my thread? Ever less so because, I'm am not iliterate as to institute that I have been in such arguements as this before.

And I have stood alone, beaten and battered before. But I don't stay down for likes of a bully!! Aren't you just a peach? Wasting your time here, bitching about your little flaws without even mentioning them.

 

[Tzara]

And I have stood alone, beaten and battered before. But I don't stay down for likes of a bully!!

Dude! Calm down.

You post a poem here, you get comment. The comment may be negative. You say you "have stood alone, beaten and battered before"? Don't go there. You're just making yourself ridiculous. Big time.

Is your poem bad? Well, yes, I think it is. But that is just me. I am not a critic, or a college professor, or an editor. Other people may like it. I doubt it, but they might.

If you are really convinced your poems are good, then submit them for publication. Online, in print, whatever. Writing is about communication. If you are communicating well, you will find some publication that will accept you. If you can't find one, perhaps you may want to reconsider whether your work is worth a damn.

Writing is hard work, and it's never really done.

 

[normal jean]

Hi NJ

I would agree that a poem can have different meaning for a reader than perhaps the author intended. However, I would say that if the poet is unhappy with the the fact that a reader was able to place a different interpretation on the poem that poet should look at their words not the ability or lack of ability in the reader.

yeah., you are right. I didnt realize what was going on and I reckon I stepped right in, didnt I? I was not unhappy that people thought my river was a penis or a person, or anything else...,

I (almost) always get a kick out of the interpretations that people get from something I write. and it just makes me glad that it caused them to think, to use their minds, after all , it is about communication, just like you said!!



sweet dreams lovely poetess

xoxo

 

[TMV]

You just don't see........

Dude! Calm down.

You post a poem here, you get comment. The comment may be negative. You say you "have stood alone, beaten and battered before"? Don't go there. You're just making yourself ridiculous. Big time.

Is your poem bad? Well, yes, I think it is. But that is just me. I am not a critic, or a college professor, or an editor. Other people may like it. I doubt it, but they might.

If you are really convinced your poems are good, then submit them for publication. Online, in print, whatever. Writing is about communication. If you are communicating well, you will find some publication that will accept you. If you can't find one, perhaps you may want to reconsider whether your work is worth a damn.

Writing is hard work, and it's never really done.

I have no need of anger here. I simply stated a fact that you have once again misinterpreted. I don't have to think of it as "bad". Because I have people out there who do understand my poetry. They don't exist in the majority, but they treat me like I know what I'm doing. How can I know that? Well, this fella in England wrote me an email of how he thought I had put my poetry together. And he was right on the money!


My poem's are published. Check the net..., "Xynchro Flight" "A Hope for Asphyrinymn Poetry". I haven't gotten a very good response, but I blame that on the book company who made promises they didn't keep.

What is the quote? "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me!" Whatever you're reading into my words, is about the same nugget of courtesy as you give my work. If one person in all the world understands implicitly, then it is a battle won. No matter how many defeats you suffer at the hands of critics.

And I still notice. No intropection. Angry???? I'm having a ball. Because your fighting to make me different. And I already won the war.