How did you start?

[the_pet]

How were you introduced to the world of BDSM? What were your first experiences like?

My pedophile next door neighbor use to tie me up when i was about 7 or 8 and it has stuck with me ever since.

 

[Puman]

My pedophile next door neighbor use to tie me up when i was about 7 or 8 and it has stuck with me ever since.

Holy Cow.

 

[northwoods_sub]

My pedophile next door neighbor use to tie me up when i was about 7 or 8 and it has stuck with me ever since.

Thats absolutely horrible.

 

[the_pet]

Thats absolutely horrible.

i didn't think it was back then (i know better now ) he was very clever about it. he would make it like a game, call me Houdini and stuff, tying the ropes so loose they would fall off easily without much effort, then praise me for how quick i got out but each time he would tie a little tighter and make it more difficult..... i thought it was great fun at the time


pet

 

[the_pet]

i didn't think it was back then (i know better now ) he was very clever about it. he would make it like a game, call me Houdini and stuff, tying the ropes so loose they would fall off easily without much effort, then praise me for how quick i got out but each time he would tie a little tighter and make it more difficult..... i thought it was great fun at the time


pet

~cricket sounds~

come now people.... we didn't all get here reading fantasy novels and going to munches.... it shouldn't come as a huge shock that one or two of us found our way here from less than functional childhood environments....but perhaps i'm wrong

 

[northwoods_sub]

Sorry Pet, didn't mean to make you feel like you were alone out there.

I didn't ever have anyone do anything like that to me as a child but I do remember that when I was a little girl and we would play games like "war" or "cowboys and indians" or what have you, I always wanted to be the lady in distress, getting captured and tied up. Even then at the age of 6-7 I would get excited when they would pull my hands behind my back and tie me up and would be so disappointed when they let me go without a struggle.

 

[the_pet]

Sorry Pet, didn't mean to make you feel like you were alone out there.

I didn't ever have anyone do anything like that to me as a child but I do remember that when I was a little girl and we would play games like "war" or "cowboys and indians" or what have you, I always wanted to be the lady in distress, getting captured and tied up. Even then at the age of 6-7 I would get excited when they would pull my hands behind my back and tie me up and would be so disappointed when they let me go without a struggle.

no worries northwoods_sub

i'm accustomed to the silence... i've learned that true deviance is usually found unacceptable or unapproachable even amongst my own kind


pet

 

[myinnerslut]

i didn't think it was back then (i know better now ) he was very clever about it. he would make it like a game, call me Houdini and stuff, tying the ropes so loose they would fall off easily without much effort, then praise me for how quick i got out but each time he would tie a little tighter and make it more difficult..... i thought it was great fun at the time


pet

when my brohers and cousins were playing lets pretend one day they were kings and queens and knights and i convinced them that they needed a slave princess for the night to rescue. of course i was the slave princess. i had a scarf tiedaround my ankle and the other end tied to the leg of a table and had my hands bound.

 

[Etoile]

i'm accustomed to the silence... i've learned that true deviance is usually found unacceptable or unapproachable even amongst my own kind

Forgive me for saying this, pet, but how does experiencing molestation as a child make you a true deviant?

 

[the_pet]

Forgive me for saying this, pet, but how does experiencing molestation as a child make you a true deviant?

i was once told that i did not have the luxury of explaining my behavior as a phase/fad/etc. and therefore could not rationalize it away. In my particular case it was felt that i had been conditioned and responded naturally in manners deemed deviant (without conscious thought). As in deviant became normal and natural for me as opposed to something i cultivated/explored/chose. I hope that makes sense. It was hard to condense to a few sentences. But all circumstances are different and it really depends on the individual.

 

[Etoile]

i was once told that i did not have the luxury of explaining my behavior as a phase/fad/etc. and therefore could not rationalize it away. In my particular case it was felt that i had been conditioned and responded naturally in manners deemed deviant (without conscious thought). As in deviant became normal and natural for me as opposed to something i cultivated/explored/chose. I hope that makes sense. It was hard to condense to a few sentences. But all circumstances are different and it really depends on the individual.

I had to read it a couple of times but it does make sense. I don't think you're special in saying that you "didn't have the luxury" of calling it a phase - I would say that the great majority of people on this board would not consider it a phase or just a fad! (In fact most of us get angsty over collars as fashion items!) But I don't see how being "conditioned" for it makes you any more "true" a deviant than anyone else. In fact, I would even go in the opposite direction, and call it brainwashing. Someone whose deviant desires are innate might be seen as more true than someone who was forced into the lifestyle.

It does make sense pet, I just don't think you're all that unique so your comment about "i'm accustomed to the silence... i've learned that true deviance is usually found unacceptable or unapproachable even amongst my own kind" still baffles me a bit.

 

[the_pet]

I had to read it a couple of times but it does make sense. I don't think you're special in saying that you "didn't have the luxury" of calling it a phase - I would say that the great majority of people on this board would not consider it a phase or just a fad! (In fact most of us get angsty over collars as fashion items!) But I don't see how being "conditioned" for it makes you any more "true" a deviant than anyone else. In fact, I would even go in the opposite direction, and call it brainwashing. Someone whose deviant desires are innate might be seen as more true than someone who was forced into the lifestyle.

It does make sense pet, I just don't think you're all that unique so your comment about "i'm accustomed to the silence... i've learned that true deviance is usually found unacceptable or unapproachable even amongst my own kind" still baffles me a bit.

it's ok i wasn't referencing the people here at Lit in the category of "my own kind" i was referring to others as in "survivors" of sexual assault (i hate that term). I should have been more specific. I apologize if i have insulted you, it was not my intention. I completely understand what you mean by getting upset over pretenders. I too take my lifestyle and choices seriously.

 

[Homburg]

My lovely wife, in what was probably one of the single most amazing displays of bravery I have ever seen, asked me to consider BDSM. She'd had submissive feelings and D/s fantasies all of her life, and just never said anything to anyone about them. One of the biggest things that attracted her to me is that I am naturally very strongly Dominant.

I gave it a shot, as it was something that she was really interested in. We had fun with it for a while, but I felt like a fraud. It was due to various factors in my life at the time, but I couldn't really keep it going honestly. Due to various other circumstances, we picked it up again. this time it is as natural as breathing. I have a hard time inagining how we were having sex without the D/s dynamic.

I have no underlying reasons, nor a history of Dominant fantasies running in my head. I am just Dominant, or, as my other submissive says, I "reek of Dominance". My wife is a natural submissive, and I recognise that she has been submissive to me for our entire relationship. I just had no frame of reference to understand it until she opened my eyes.

My wife rocks =)

 

[BiBunny]

I don't have one moment that stands out in my mind as When I Started. I did masochistic/bondage-y things at a very young age, and when I first started having sex, I did kinkier things than all my friends did. I just sort of fell into it at some point.

 

[Etoile]

it's ok i wasn't referencing the people here at Lit in the category of "my own kind" i was referring to others as in "survivors" of sexual assault (i hate that term). I should have been more specific. I apologize if i have insulted you, it was not my intention. I completely understand what you mean by getting upset over pretenders. I too take my lifestyle and choices seriously.

pet...that makes me feel so much better. I was kind of taken aback by that comment, and I am so glad to learn that I had misunderstood you.

 

[Kumi]

Uhm, I haven't been into it too long, I'm rather young... I read some fanfics about BDSM and I'm a rather curious person so I looked it up and found I was rather into Light bondage and D/s. I'm fairly shy, so I don't get out a lot, and I figured there was something wrong with me, so into erotic stories when everyone else is out partying. I still think there is something wrong with me.

"Sticks and stones my break my bones, but whips and chains excite me."

 

[HB1965]

How did I start?

About 20 years ago I visited a group that was for people that were in the lifestyle. I met a doctor who happened to be a dom. He was about 18 years older than I was and his thing happened to be "training" young woman to be subs. He turned out to be a very good teacher. It was a great introduction.

 

[JazzManJim]

I feel kind of odd, actually.

I can't think of a "starting point" at all. As far back as I can remember, I've been a Dominant. I didn't always know that it had a name, but it's what I have seemingly always been. It would be really strange for me to recall a time in my life when I wasn't. I'm sure there was one, but...

*shrug*

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

.....

 

[NALA CAYENNE]

Can't say as I remember when I started but I can say that I have always been inclined to serve and make sure others are pleased and well taken care of.

 

[FurryFury]

When I'm around the lifestyle a scene from KARATE KID always comes to mind. The kid asks Pat Morita what kind of belt he has and Pat says, "JC Penny belt, $1.98."

I LOVE that.

It's not about the belt as so many Nimrods think it is.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

.....

 

[FurryFury]

I was actually just thinking about all the uber competitive martial arts students that just want the next belt thinking that's what's so freaking important.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

.....

 

[FurryFury]

*nods and chuckles*