How does a Dom find a Domme?

[Marquis]

Now, would we do that?

You're trustworthy, check your pm box.

 

[graceanne]

Just to let everyone else know she looks real nice and like she's got a great sense of humor. She's also pretty, but I wouldn't expect any less from you.

 

[Marquis]

You know, I was just looking over her profile again, and I feel like I inadvertently picked out sort of a subby domme. I wonder if I could flip the script on her?



By the way, your last sentence didn't make any sense Grace.

 

[graceanne]

You know, I was just looking over her profile again, and I feel like I inadvertently picked out sort of a subby domme. I wonder if I could flip the script on her?



By the way, your last sentence didn't make any sense Grace.

Yeah, I realized that when I came back and reread it. I was writing, talking to K, and listening to the kids movie (it's new so I'm keeping an ear on it). So I got a sentance from the movie mixed in with what I was typing.

As for the subby domme thing . . . well it wouldn't surprise me. She didn't come off to me as totally domme. I think that one of the reasons she's a domme is cause she's so confident, not necessarily bossiness. Who knows. lol

 

[tealsphynx]

OK, I have found an excellent candidate, sure to make all you sub boys green with envy.

I would post a link to her Collarme profile, but I'm still sealing the deal and I can't have one of you haters sending her a message to fuck my shit up.


Let's just say she is the bomb diggety, no doubt baby, and I'm going to bag it up.

Cool, good luck Marquis! You're gonna let us know how it turns out right? I'd love to hear how your experience bottoming went from a Dom's perspective...You've always striked me as the kind of Dom that is all Dom, this could be interesting. Pesonally there are some activities I'm willing to bottom for, but not submit, and anything painful is right out unless the person acting as Top can fight me off. Though I do enjoy hot wax on my skin...it's oohhh sooo niicccee.

 

[Marquis]

Yeah, I realized that when I came back and reread it. I was writing, talking to K, and listening to the kids movie (it's new so I'm keeping an ear on it). So I got a sentance from the movie mixed in with what I was typing.

As for the subby domme thing . . . well it wouldn't surprise me. She didn't come off to me as totally domme. I think that one of the reasons she's a domme is cause she's so confident, not necessarily bossiness. Who knows. lol

Oh well, I don't think there's really any way for me to get an absolutely authentic D/s experience from the sub side. If she's as good with her topping skills as she claims to be, I'm sure she'll be just what I'm looking for.

 

[Marquis]

Cool, good luck Marquis! You're gonna let us know how it turns out right? I'd love to hear how your experience bottoming went from a Dom's perspective...You've always striked me as the kind of Dom that is all Dom, this could be interesting. Pesonally there are some activities I'm willing to bottom for, but not submit, and anything painful is right out unless the person acting as Top can fight me off. Though I do enjoy hot wax on my skin...it's oohhh sooo niicccee.

I'll put it all in this thread if and when it goes down.

I'm not sure what you mean as the difference between bottoming and submitting in a given scene. After ground rules are established, I will make a genuine effort to bottom to her as best I can, I don't think the experience will have any value otherwise.

I will definitely not fully "release" with her, (perhaps that's the distinction you are talking about?) but I doubt if I'm really capable of that sort of thing.

I have some genuine maso tendencies, so I'm no stranger to being on the receiving end of pain. Even so, I've always been in a dominant position ("harder bitch!") when involved in that sort of sensation play.

 

[Netzach]

can I just say I'm a little miffy that my mother is in Key West, you are looking to get mean things done to you and here I sit?

Albeit not too loudly, can't have you unable to get head thru door.

 

[wolf2002]

So I've decided to give bottoming a try, in the interest of expanding my mind and exploring new perspectives.

What if you like it so much that you never want to go back to Domhood? I mean, look at the consequences... gotta change the whole image, wardrobe, everything... and you can never have an orgasm unless she says its okay...

 

[canadiancutie]

I'll put it all in this thread if and when it goes down.

I'm not sure what you mean as the difference between bottoming and submitting in a given scene. After ground rules are established, I will make a genuine effort to bottom to her as best I can, I don't think the experience will have any value otherwise.

I will definitely not fully "release" with her, (perhaps that's the distinction you are talking about?) but I doubt if I'm really capable of that sort of thing.

I have some genuine maso tendencies, so I'm no stranger to being on the receiving end of pain. Even so, I've always been in a dominant position ("harder bitch!") when involved in that sort of sensation play.

haha I still say I could domme you. I think you should get pierced. That really has nothing to do with anything, but I think piercing you would be funny...probably because I could totally make you cry.

 

[Netzach]

What if you like it so much that you never want to go back to Domhood? I mean, look at the consequences... gotta change the whole image, wardrobe, everything... and you can never have an orgasm unless she says its okay...

I wouldn't change the wardrobe on this one. He's one of the few that can dress himself.

 

[SUPHERNOVA]

Ill domme you!
Just say when.

 

[Marquis]

What if you like it so much that you never want to go back to Domhood? I mean, look at the consequences... gotta change the whole image, wardrobe, everything... and you can never have an orgasm unless she says its okay...

Then I'll never go back to Domhood.


It's a risk I'm quite comfortable taking.

 

[tealsphynx]

I'll put it all in this thread if and when it goes down.

I'm not sure what you mean as the difference between bottoming and submitting in a given scene. After ground rules are established, I will make a genuine effort to bottom to her as best I can, I don't think the experience will have any value otherwise.

I will definitely not fully "release" with her, (perhaps that's the distinction you are talking about?) but I doubt if I'm really capable of that sort of thing.

I have some genuine maso tendencies, so I'm no stranger to being on the receiving end of pain. Even so, I've always been in a dominant position ("harder bitch!") when involved in that sort of sensation play.

Uhm, the difference I see between bottoming and submitting I guess all depends on what activities you plan to do with your Domme. Things that, for me, fall under submitting include: humiliation, following wierd/humiliating orders (pick that dildo up with your ass and walk it to the other side of the room!), posing as furniture, being Told what to do/wear/how to act instead of being asked..ok so I guess most of those can all fall under humiliation. Whereas to me bottoming are things like: being bound/blinded/gagged, spanking (though I don't always like being spanked) S&M type activities and such... I guess it depends on perspective. While there are a few B&D activities I might be able to do and some S&M stuff I might get off on from a bottoms perspective I'd have a really hard time with the D/s aspect and humiliation type stuff (subbie said it's because I'm so inwardly dominant, that it's such an integral part of who I am) but hey, if you just do what you think might float your boat have fun! (I think you'll probably end up topping from bottom..I just see that in you, but I may be wrong. Either way, hopeyou enjoy your experience!)

 

[Netzach]

I think the line between bottoming and submitting, while it's permeable and not exactly written in stone, revolves around what you like to do and what you're only willing to do because you are being told to do by someone you are submitting to.

For instance, if I really like being flogged and I really like being called nasty names, negotiating those into a scene is bottoming. If I really don't like being caned but I'm willing to be caned by someone till I cry and can't possibly take anymore, then I think you are getting into a submission scenario, possibly. It's a really subtle shift in mindset. I don't like trying to draw a really strong distinction.

It also depends on the person in question, quite a lot. Do they have my respect and trust and do they have the gestalt of a person more dominant/knowledgeable than me in my eyes? That's a rare combination. To get me to bottom in ways I know I like, which are straightforward for me, that's not quite as rare in theory.

 

[tealsphynx]

I think the line between bottoming and submitting, while it's permeable and not exactly written in stone, revolves around what you like to do and what you're only willing to do because you are being told to do by someone you are submitting to.

For instance, if I really like being flogged and I really like being called nasty names, negotiating those into a scene is bottoming. If I really don't like being caned but I'm willing to be caned by someone till I cry and can't possibly take anymore, then I think you are getting into a submission scenario, possibly. It's a really subtle shift in mindset. I don't like trying to draw a really strong distinction.

It also depends on the person in question, quite a lot. Do they have my respect and trust and do they have the gestalt of a person more dominant/knowledgeable than me in my eyes? That's a rare combination. To get me to bottom in ways I know I like, which are straightforward for me, that's not quite as rare in theory.

Thanks for being able to put it into clearer words, that's mostly what I was trying to say, but I couldn't seem to get my point out.

 

[Marquis]

I think the line between bottoming and submitting, while it's permeable and not exactly written in stone, revolves around what you like to do and what you're only willing to do because you are being told to do by someone you are submitting to.

For instance, if I really like being flogged and I really like being called nasty names, negotiating those into a scene is bottoming. If I really don't like being caned but I'm willing to be caned by someone till I cry and can't possibly take anymore, then I think you are getting into a submission scenario, possibly. It's a really subtle shift in mindset. I don't like trying to draw a really strong distinction.

It also depends on the person in question, quite a lot. Do they have my respect and trust and do they have the gestalt of a person more dominant/knowledgeable than me in my eyes? That's a rare combination. To get me to bottom in ways I know I like, which are straightforward for me, that's not quite as rare in theory.

This is very close to how I think of it as well.

Trust is the main differentiating factor to me. Anyone can bottom or top anyone, it's just an action, but domming/subbing involves a power exchange of thought and emotion. It is a tough distinction to make, but I do believe there is a very real distinction, at least in the way I think of the two.

 

[wolf2002]

It also depends on the person in question, quite a lot. Do they have my respect and trust and do they have the gestalt of a person more dominant/knowledgeable than me in my eyes?

Can/do you bottom to your subs? If not, do you think it's possible to switch with the same person?

 

[SweetDommes]

Can/do you bottom to your subs? If not, do you think it's possible to switch with the same person?

I know that you were asking Netzach, but I definitely think it's possible to switch with the same person. Holly and I switched with each other for years before finally arriving at the arrangement that we have now.

 

[Netzach]

Can/do you bottom to your subs? If not, do you think it's possible to switch with the same person?

I know it's possible.

I've had M do a lot of bondage on me, but he sees it as part of his service.

I switch with a fuckbuddy of mine on occasion. He's like 90% sub 10% Dom (with women anyway) which is the ideal pairing to my 90% / 10% opposite, and it leaves pretty little guesswork as to who's really in charge most of the time.

edited to add: like Karen and Holly we switched all the time for a few years and this is what emerged as making sense to us over time.

 

[blue kat]

Can/do you bottom to your subs? If not, do you think it's possible to switch with the same person?

For me personally, no. But I've seen it work for others.

 

[NspirMe]

I am so loving this. You all
just keep getting deeper,
and deeper.

More, more, more. Yes. Thats right pet.
Give me more.!!!

 

[wolf2002]

I've seen it work for others.

Thanks for your replies... if Marquis doesn;t mind, I have a question to all: what does it take to make it work?

 

[Netzach]

A reasonable system, a shitload of communication, and a lot of creativity.
I'd say that it's not a good idea to do "paybacks" but some people would thrive on that kind of devious game.

 

[cremebrulee]

Interested

I am truly interested and curious as to how you would wish to be dominated. I was submissive when I first ventured into the lifestyle, I can totally understand what you're saying here. No sex is fine, I have that here.
I have someone to do my dishes, so that's no problem either, plus I rarely wash my car

If you are still looking, feel free to contact me via PM.


Creme