how does a vanilla girl turn kinky?

[FungiUg]

[...]what should I do so that I can get into this role?

Two thoughts.

1. Quid-pro-quo. If you are working on pleasing him, what's in it for you? What's he going to be giving you in return? You may be completely selfless (unlikely), but even so if you are also getting something out of it, you are more likely to be motivated.
2. Find the things you are okay with or do enjoy. Don't necessarily focus on the things he most wants. You can work up to the more intense stuff, so start with what won't freak you out.

Good luck!

 

[fort815]

I have really found my kink and its a lot of fun.The next time you want to tell someone to "kiss your ass" see if anyone raises his or her hand.

 

[bubbliebabs]

You sound alot like me, yet in the opposite role! Although my husband and I have been members of a few swingers clubs and have gone to house parties, joined online groups and chats...we have had very few sexual experiences within that lifestyle unless I have been OK with it. I have just now started to come out of my shell sexually...this after 10 years of the lifestyle!! I am very much into trusting the other couple/partner and I can do without it as I am happy in my marriage and in my bed. But, hubby has always had to fantasies of watching me with others and watching me be pleased by others...and yes, there are jealous moments! I have the kinkiness inside of me...it just does not come out on its own, it has had to be eased out and the more that comes, the kinkier I am! But, only to certain people and in certain situations. Now, my husband has to do what you are trying to do, and learn how to do things and accept that it is OK to do it and that I really enjoy it! He wants to, just wants to make sure it is OK!

Happy Exploring!!!

 

[fort815]

Consentrate on Eros

Dear Vanilla,

A fertile imagination can supply you with many erotic ideas that you have not enjoyed in the past. Sit down and tap your own memory for the most thrilling sex encounter that you have ever had. You could begin thinking about the last time that you had an orgasm or the occasion when you felt so horny that you and not he initiated sex. If that horny feeling returns think about the details leading up to your orgasm. At that point it is alright to begin masturbation. Additionally, think about the person with whom you had orgasmic sex and include him as your sex partner.If you ar BI think about the woman with whom you had orgasmic sex but merely as a variation on a theme.

Your "Theme" would be doing that kind of sex that you have always been curious about but had never had the opportunity to experiment with. Think about a likely partner you would like to try it with. Again, imagine the person the person or type of person with whom you would like to share your self. Think about how you would begin the interaction leading up to sex. If you don't want to be the initiator then think about how you would manipulate your partner or prospective partner into taking the first step. Your own body language can make you a great temptress. Your speech to your prospective partner can be very suggestive.

For example, suppose you want to experiment doing a threesome. Ask your hubby how he feels about that kind of a sexual adventure. If you want a threesome with two males; suggest that he help you find the kind of male you would like. You and two males would comprise a Queen Threesome. A King threesome would be him simultaneously enjoying the sexual favors of 2 women. Decide wether he would warm you up before the three of you would get together and vice versa for him.

You are limited only by your own sexual imagination. What kind of stories in Literotica really turn you on? And likewise, what kind turn him on? You will have to learn how to act out your fantasies with your hubby and whomever you and he choose to date with either a single or a couple. Planning the kind of a date you want can also be a lot of fun.

Sincerely,

Sandman632

 

[miss_tata]

I would like to commend you on your openness to trying new things. It sounds like you and your husband have a good relationship. It took a bit of courage on his part to open up to you, and you rewarded him with your willingness to explore his ideas. This on your part was your fearlessness, congratulations. HURRAY!! Your openness to new things is your best strength; use this to your advantage. You have two realms to contemplate: One) what is his kink(s)? and Two) Are you kinky? If so, what is your kink?

Scenario One) What are you willing to do for your husband? Are you willing to be the person that he needs? Are you willing to find another person that fills this need for him because you are unable to?(Whether he finds that person or you do?) Would you feel comfortable with this person in his life, if just to fill this need?

Scenario Two) Fearlessly explore whether you are kinky or not. You will find your own turn-ons; and these may change over time. (They did for me)

You would also be wise to explore both the Dom/top view as well as the sub/bottom view when exploring because you may never know which way your pendulum swings.

Remember that doing all of this is doing it for love.

Lots of Luck to you and yours,
miss_tata and her Wicked Top

P.s. My top says "No matter what tool you use to inflict pain, each thing has to be used properly to extract the desired response. Ex: A flogger is a wonderful tool, but used incorrectly may not work at all and even damage. Moreover wielding a hairbrush correctly can have climactic achievements."