I have a question? Regarding Fellatio follow through..

[Hisscarlett]

Thank you SubKekiLee

I remember so well my feelings of inadequacy, failure and frustration. It was a big issue for me at the time. That one thing became a mental block for almost every part of my slavery.

I remember too, when I "got it" that I was so proud of myself I was telling a friend, who had been her Master's slave for several years, about it. She told me she still had the same issue, I talked her through it and then a few weeks later it came right for her too. It seems to be a surprisingly common block.

s

 

[mary_30]

Thank you Hisscarlet,
Yes, the word bored was a bad choice of words. I so glad you were able to pinpoint my problem. to be in appropriate mind set. I am very thankful your posting and insight. Thanks again Slave in Traiing also My Master will appreciated my new found efforts

 

[Hisscarlett]

Mary I am entirely sure that it will come right for you. Wanting it is the first step. There is so much pleasure ahead for you both in working through this and the sense of achievement it will give you and in the actual "practice" itself. I seem to remember asking Master for permission to practice several times a day!

I think the main point here, though, is that communication is vital - both up to your Master from you and down from him to you. I found that once I had talked it through with Master the problem seemed to shrink in size and was much easier to deal with.

Take care and have fun.

 

[ataxia.girl]

Why isn't he training you so that this doesn't happen? The last time i gave a bj he was on his back or reclined anyway. i was hogtied lying on my side with my head in his lap. If i didn't do it right or let him drop out of my mouth he tapped me with a ruler and reminded me to be a good girl. i didn't really have to think about whether or not i was able to "focus" or do it right and believe me i got bloody tired and sore craning my neck and my shoulder felt like it was on fire. If i wasn't doing it right he just held my face and made it right.

The trainer does actually have some responsibility here. Not just the trainee.

 

[SubKekiLee]

I agree some positions are more comfortable than others. I also have to agree with the others that don't understand boring coming into play. Unless you don't enjoy the act to begin with, it is a wonderful opportunity no matter what positions your bodies are in.

The focus should be on the man in front of you. His cock is unique. There is no other like it. Concentrate on the shape, the feel, the taste. How does it react when you alter what you are doing? Listen for his breathing and note what causes a change. Does he make a particular sound when you apply a certain amount of pressure? Use your lips, your tongue, even your teeth if used properly. Find out what makes him moan. If you are concentrating on him then there will be no room in your mind for what position you are in. I have never had a time when I thought about how I might prefer another position or if I am feeling any discomfort. In fact I don't. My jaws may be sore the next day, but when I have a cock in my mouth all of my concentration is on that. Granted this is something that I love and can do for hours when given the chance.

I think this is great advice on how to worry more about the man you serve than your own comfort I know I quoted about another persons post as that I could say it no better but it is true that you should serve in the way the above quote..

All of which is unimportant in a BDSM relationship. You have given yourself to him. All the points you bring up are unimportant to the truth that you have given yourself to your dominant. Your desires and wants are unimportant to the giving of your submission to them.

Again I say, either Sub up or find a different lifestyle.

Umm may I ask you WHO died and left you in charge?

 

[Dominant_Chef]

I don't understand getting bored, but I could understand it becoming tiring, especially if he lasts a long time. Is that what you mean?

STFU douchebag...

 

[ataxia.girl]

I don't understand getting bored, but I could understand it becoming tiring, especially if he lasts a long time. Is that what you mean?

i'll admit it. i get bored sometimes, not often but sometimes and bj while he is on his back is a very easy position to get bored in. Its better if he has a stick or something to smack you with if you slack off while he's watching TV. That's less err... boring.

Actually if he's sitting and i'm kneeling between his legs giving a bj its also less boring if he has a stick. What i don't understand is why boring really has anything to do with finishing. i do lots of stuff that is boring but i still finish.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Don't have time to read past the first post from the OP, so could be repeating what has been said, but IME, being a slave is not about what works or seems best for you, more about what works and feels best for the Owner.

Catalina

 

[SubKekiLee]

As I have been my Sirs pet now for almost a year I re-read this thread and last night while we were laying there and spending time together I asked to him to not only show me but tell me if I was meeting his needs as far as oral. he told me some things I could change and I did and to see his body react like that was nothing short of A M A Z I N G I just want to Thank everyone who contributed to the thread...

 

[Hisscarlett]

yay subkekilee!

 

[madetotakeit]

As I have been my Sirs pet now for almost a year I re-read this thread and last night while we were laying there and spending time together I asked to him to not only show me but tell me if I was meeting his needs as far as oral. he told me some things I could change and I did and to see his body react like that was nothing short of A M A Z I N G I just want to Thank everyone who contributed to the thread...

I know how happy that made you...and him.

You can never go wrong with communication and attentiveness.

 

[Hisscarlett]

When I read the original post I was concerned that there would be a shower of replies berating the poster. I have, in the past, read boards and been shocked at the replies, tirades against the person asking the question, marking them out as inadequate and not as "subly" as they, the responders, are.

I was so pleased to read the positive replies here, to see that there were people who were not out to score point and show how much they could take, how far they could go, but were, instead, interested in actually helping the person who took a brave step in starting the thread. A thread that others, on reading it, were waiting for helpful replies because they, too, wanted an answer.

None of us are perfect, and I was so happy to see that this is a place which offers support, which doesn't judge, which will help us all to grow in our service to our Masters/Mistresses/Doms/Dommes.

Because we can all learn from each other, even though when it comes down to it only our Owners opinions matter. At times, it is just so good to know that there are others going through what we are going through, that there are others who struggle at times as we do, who have come out the other side and can offer us hope that we, too, will come through whatever the issue we are facing is.

I have been with Master 24/7 for a long time now, but we once were long distance, an entire ocean between us, and I remember the struggles I faced. I also remember how much it helped to have others in the same position, others who had come through and could tell me how they dealt with issues/concerns that I faced.

There was a thread in another forum that made me afraid to post. It was judgemental. And I did fear that would be the case here, but this thread showed me that was not the case.

Thank you.
s

 

[camelotak]

Hisscarlett,
First I would like to say that your Master is truely blessed to have you as a slave.

Seond, I would like to very much thank you for your insightful posts that you have done on this thread. I have watched this thread with intense curiousity because I am the one that Mary_30 has given her gift of submission to. She has been my wife of 16 years but recently offered to me what all this time I was afraid to ask of her. With this particular problem (which was causing her a great deal of anxiety) I suggested she post on here to see what people would offer as advice. She had posted on a couple other sites and gotten the tangents, ridicule and of course the veritable 'suck it up', but had not recieved any real advice.

The point that alot of people seemed to miss was not that she didn't want to do it but that she wanted to do it better. To be able to provide a better experience for me and as such gain a better experience from it. You were the first person in this thread to actually recognize that was her problem and offer real answers to 'perform better'.

Honestly, I had her post because I was slightly vexxed by the issue myself. She would do it (even without me forcing her to) but it was not nearly as good as other positions. We were both at a loss as to how to really fix it.

Telling a person to just suck it up and do it only tells them how to be a slave. It does nothing to help them become a BETTER slave. Mary_30 has made huge strides at becoming my own slave both in the bedroom and out but it makes me feel really good inside that I have not gotten the wrong impression about the forums here. I told her that the people on here were very intelligent, cared greatly about this lifestyle and had a genuine interest in helping people who have chosen this lifestyle to get the most fulfillment out of this lifestyle they can (except maybe Dominant Chef).

Your advice on here has done a great deal to help both of us with this. She has improved at her service and with helpful advice from people such as yourself will continue to make great strides. I too gain a great deal of insight from these threads in how I can improve this too. To get the most fulfillment requires both the master and slave to communicate well and we have. We have communicated more in the past 4 weeks then probably in the past 16 years. And with this communication our trust has grown by orders of magnitude. Our relationship as a whole has become more deep and very much more fulfilled.

Again I just wanted to offer my deepest of thanks to you on this public forum and to let you know that you are unique and special. May a world of happiness stay resident in your home.

When I read the original post I was concerned that there would be a shower of replies berating the poster. I have, in the past, read boards and been shocked at the replies, tirades against the person asking the question, marking them out as inadequate and not as "subly" as they, the responders, are.

I was so pleased to read the positive replies here, to see that there were people who were not out to score point and show how much they could take, how far they could go, but were, instead, interested in actually helping the person who took a brave step in starting the thread. A thread that others, on reading it, were waiting for helpful replies because they, too, wanted an answer.

None of us are perfect, and I was so happy to see that this is a place which offers support, which doesn't judge, which will help us all to grow in our service to our Masters/Mistresses/Doms/Dommes.

Because we can all learn from each other, even though when it comes down to it only our Owners opinions matter. At times, it is just so good to know that there are others going through what we are going through, that there are others who struggle at times as we do, who have come out the other side and can offer us hope that we, too, will come through whatever the issue we are facing is.

I have been with Master 24/7 for a long time now, but we once were long distance, an entire ocean between us, and I remember the struggles I faced. I also remember how much it helped to have others in the same position, others who had come through and could tell me how they dealt with issues/concerns that I faced.

There was a thread in another forum that made me afraid to post. It was judgemental. And I did fear that would be the case here, but this thread showed me that was not the case.

Thank you.
s

 

[Hisscarlett]

Camelotak thank you for your kind words. I don't feel they are deserved though as all I did was offer encouragement that things would become easier.

I did consider, when replying, offering suggestions as to physical movements that might have helped but I didn't. Because as I said it is really only your opinion that matters.

I am very sure that mary and you will have a wonderful M/s relationship. As you say communication is the key. As is a desire to serve. It seems very clear to me that mary has that.

I wish you both well on your wonderful journey.
s

 

[Netzach]

Honestly, I had her post because I was slightly vexxed by the issue myself. She would do it (even without me forcing her to) but it was not nearly as good as other positions. We were both at a loss as to how to really fix it.

Dude, only your particular biology, dick-nerve-pattern, and wishes are the answer here. If she's kind of adrift, it's clearly because you're not entirely sure what you want in this case. Which is fine, it's not some horrible sin.

What I don't understand is why you'd have your girl go to a message board but you need to do some of your own work too.

If it were me, I'd lie on my back, jack off a bunch, and try and figure out what I like physically so I can tell her what to do. Try to take apart the issue in some way. What do you need more of and less of? Is it not a physics issue at all? Is it possibly you, not her, that's bored, your boredom kind of transferring into her performance?

As the Dominant, you have to know what you want. And that's often not easy, so you have to be vigilantly figuring out what you want at any given time.

 

[JMohegan]

People who get turned on by the power thing appreciate manifestations or expressions of the same.

Look at the number of s-types on this thread who say: Of course she should focus when he's in the supine position.... if I didn't do this, I'd get smacked with a ruler, or he'd "focus the shit out of me," or whatever.

D standing over a kneeling s with a fistful of hair in his hand is an explicit demonstration of power. D in a supine position with whacking threat in place is obviously a more implicit expression of power, but an expression of power nonetheless.

And then there's the natural bond between a D and an s, in a relationship in which they are well matched on the power scale. Explicit and implicit expressions of power are still appreciated. But they're not necessary in any given moment, because the power mindset is always there.

If a D can't even handle directions for cock-sucking in basic positions, I don't see how he's gonna be able to inspire a consistent mindset in which he's viewed as the authority figure. In terms of sustainability of the power dynamic within any given relationship, there's an *enormous* difference between "I've learned how to provide service as an s-type" and "My D has inspired me to do whatever he wants me to do."

I have watched this thread with intense curiousity because I am the one that Mary_30 has given her gift of submission to. She has been my wife of 16 years but recently offered to me what all this time I was afraid to ask of her. With this particular problem (which was causing her a great deal of anxiety) I suggested she post on here to see what people would offer as advice.

It's not enough for her to offer you her "submission." You need to start acting like a leader, a manager, the one guiding the ship.

You're not gonna have the answer to every question, or always know what to do. There's a time and a place for seeking advice and asking for help. But for god's sake, man, this particular issue isn't rocket science. It's your freakin' cock.

Stop looking to other people for solutions to problems like this one. Stop assuming that people with "lifestyle" experience will have superior knowledge on how to please YOU. Start spending time thinking about what you want, physically and mentally, from your wife. Start figuring out how to communicate that to her in a compelling way.

You asked for advice. That's mine.

 

[Netzach]

People who get turned on by the power thing appreciate manifestations or expressions of the same.

Look at the number of s-types on this thread who say: Of course she should focus when he's in the supine position.... if I didn't do this, I'd get smacked with a ruler, or he'd "focus the shit out of me," or whatever.

D standing over a kneeling s with a fistful of hair in his hand is an explicit demonstration of power. D in a supine position with whacking threat in place is obviously a more implicit expression of power, but an expression of power nonetheless.

And then there's the natural bond between a D and an s, in a relationship in which they are well matched on the power scale. Explicit and implicit expressions of power are still appreciated. But they're not necessary in any given moment, because the power mindset is always there.

If a D can't even handle directions for cock-sucking in basic positions, I don't see how he's gonna be able to inspire a consistent mindset in which he's viewed as the authority figure. In terms of sustainability of the power dynamic within any given relationship, there's an *enormous* difference between "I've learned how to provide service as an s-type" and "My D has inspired me to do whatever he wants me to do."

It's not enough for her to offer you her "submission." You need to start acting like a leader, a manager, the one guiding the ship.

You're not gonna have the answer to every question, or always know what to do. There's a time and a place for seeking advice and asking for help. But for god's sake, man, this particular issue isn't rocket science. It's your freakin' cock.

Stop looking to other people for solutions to problems like this one. Stop assuming that people with "lifestyle" experience will have superior knowledge on how to please YOU. Start spending time thinking about what you want, physically and mentally, from your wife. Start figuring out how to communicate that to her in a compelling way.

You asked for advice. That's mine.

Better said than I did, but yes.

 

[intothewoods]

It is true that while we occasionally lapse on the impact play, rarely get around to any bondage, and aren't much on elaborate anything, if orders are going to be given, they're going to be given about cocksucking. Somehow the cock still has energy and knows what it wants, even if the rest of him is feeling kind of lazy.

 

[wicked woman]

Hisscarlett,
First I would like to say that your Master is truely blessed to have you as a slave.

Seond, I would like to very much thank you for your insightful posts that you have done on this thread. I have watched this thread with intense curiousity because I am the one that Mary_30 has given her gift of submission to. She has been my wife of 16 years but recently offered to me what all this time I was afraid to ask of her. With this particular problem (which was causing her a great deal of anxiety) I suggested she post on here to see what people would offer as advice. She had posted on a couple other sites and gotten the tangents, ridicule and of course the veritable 'suck it up', but had not recieved any real advice.

The point that alot of people seemed to miss was not that she didn't want to do it but that she wanted to do it better. To be able to provide a better experience for me and as such gain a better experience from it. You were the first person in this thread to actually recognize that was her problem and offer real answers to 'perform better'.

Honestly, I had her post because I was slightly vexxed by the issue myself. She would do it (even without me forcing her to) but it was not nearly as good as other positions. We were both at a loss as to how to really fix it.

Telling a person to just suck it up and do it only tells them how to be a slave. It does nothing to help them become a BETTER slave. Mary_30 has made huge strides at becoming my own slave both in the bedroom and out but it makes me feel really good inside that I have not gotten the wrong impression about the forums here. I told her that the people on here were very intelligent, cared greatly about this lifestyle and had a genuine interest in helping people who have chosen this lifestyle to get the most fulfillment out of this lifestyle they can (except maybe Dominant Chef).

Your advice on here has done a great deal to help both of us with this. She has improved at her service and with helpful advice from people such as yourself will continue to make great strides. I too gain a great deal of insight from these threads in how I can improve this too. To get the most fulfillment requires both the master and slave to communicate well and we have. We have communicated more in the past 4 weeks then probably in the past 16 years. And with this communication our trust has grown by orders of magnitude. Our relationship as a whole has become more deep and very much more fulfilled.

Again I just wanted to offer my deepest of thanks to you on this public forum and to let you know that you are unique and special. May a world of happiness stay resident in your home.

As one of those who didn't answer your wife's request for advice in the manner you expected, I feel the need to comment that if she'd asked for advice in a similar manner to how you explained it, my answer would have been different. But she didn't ask with the detail you provided...she said she got bored and lost focus in only 1 position. She asked for 'any' advice, she didn't mention wanting advice to make it better for you and her. That being said, for a slave in training that comments that she gets bored and loses focus doing something that I can't fathom getting bored and losing focus over...I stand by my reply to the question as she posted it. I see nothing wrong with telling a self confessed slave in training to be a slave.

And while your post was very complimentary to hisscarlett it was also uncomplimentary to those who didn't answer as you wished. I suggest to you that your original expectation of the people in this forum is accurate. Be a little less judgemental and you'll see more of it. Oh and our comments can only be as good as the information provided to us.

 

[Hisscarlett]

wicked woman I went back to check on the reply you gave and you said "I think my question is....what's your priority here? His pleasure or yours?" which was basically what I said, albeit in different words with me giving an example from my own experience.

I don't think that there was any censureship from mary's Master, although I could be wrong. I think he was just responding to the comment I made about the forum being helpful and supportive.

I truly felt that the thread had potential to become a "sublier than thou contest" and it didn't. And that impressed me.

Reading threads in other forums I saw a lot of judgement and attacks but in this one there wasn't. Sure, there were some comments which were worded more directly than others but they all had one common message. As a slave it is our Master/Mistress who matters. Everyone agreed on that, everyone said the same thing, just in our own ways.

I don't think that there was criticism, implied or otherwise, in the comment you mention. I replied saying it wasn't a deserved compliment.

I hope that this doesn't cause upset or make things awkward. I was nervous about posting here because of past experiences and was so happy when the thread seemed to be so positive in replying to mary.

You and I both agreed on the main issue, we just worded it differently.

s

 

[naughty Papa]

well just tell him we try another position with you on the bed head hanging down and he fucks your slave mouth (me and my slut enjoy this)
xxxx

 

[Netzach]

well just tell him we try another position with you on the bed head hanging down and he fucks your slave mouth (me and my slut enjoy this)
xxxx

This is possibly the smartest answer on this thread.

If it's kinda dull for him, and it's kinda dull for you, why are you two invested in it?

Simply move, guy. Do what blows your load hard.

 

[wicked woman]

wicked woman I went back to check on the reply you gave and you said "I think my question is....what's your priority here? His pleasure or yours?" which was basically what I said, albeit in different words with me giving an example from my own experience.

I don't think that there was any censureship from mary's Master, although I could be wrong. I think he was just responding to the comment I made about the forum being helpful and supportive.

I truly felt that the thread had potential to become a "sublier than thou contest" and it didn't. And that impressed me.

Reading threads in other forums I saw a lot of judgement and attacks but in this one there wasn't. Sure, there were some comments which were worded more directly than others but they all had one common message. As a slave it is our Master/Mistress who matters. Everyone agreed on that, everyone said the same thing, just in our own ways.

I don't think that there was criticism, implied or otherwise, in the comment you mention. I replied saying it wasn't a deserved compliment.

I hope that this doesn't cause upset or make things awkward. I was nervous about posting here because of past experiences and was so happy when the thread seemed to be so positive in replying to mary.

You and I both agreed on the main issue, we just worded it differently.

s

hisscarlet...if you noticed, in my reply I quoted camelotak, not you, so my reply was directed to him. I have no issue with your posts or even him complimenting you.

I'll admit to lurking more than posting in the BDSM forums...but I've been around long enough to know that you have no reason to worry about posting here. It's full of great people.

 

[Hisscarlett]

wicked woman I really am sorry if you thought I was justifying myself or taking offense. I really wasn't, as I knew you were not taking exception.

I guess I was just trying to make sure you didn't feel offended. I am useless with conflict of any kind and when I read the posts I was worried that you were offended/upset/whatever crazy idea I had in my head at the time.

I am new here and, due to past experience, nervous about becoming involved in the forum.

Sorry for being so gauche. And thank you for your welcome.

s

 

[Etoile]

Don't worry about it Hisscarlet, seems to me you're doing fine so far.