Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You

[LostHorizon]

Who said anything about a kiss on the first date? Unless you mean the kind below the waist...

That may explain why your breath is fishy.

 

[Deleted member 6353684]

That may explain why your breath is fishy.

You're late. Perhaps I might suggest Google maps if we make it to the next date.

 

[cactusjack0584]

I see you’re not wearing the vampire teeth and cape I suggested you wear…

 

[Shady_nz]

I see you’re not wearing the vampire teeth and cape I suggested you wear…

Are those spines in your pocket ... or are you just happy to see me?

 

[positiveflirt]

Dahling, you simply must tell me the name of your tailor. So I may apologize to them directly for ruining that dress.

HI so uh I don't normally do this but I saw my doctor earlier and they suggested bed rest. Wanna take me home to yours?
I don't think it's catching.

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

HI so uh I don't normally do this but I saw my doctor earlier and they suggested bed rest. Wanna take me home to yours?
I don't think it's catching.

Can I pet your kitty? You can pet mine too, if you want. Oh…no, I don’t have a cat.

 

[Treeview]

w my cats taught me how. Nice it is to curl up in laps

 

[Norfolkguy49]

Are those spines in your pocket ... or are you just happy to see me?

You remind me of my mom

 

[cactusjack0584]

Hey wanna watch the entire collection of lord of the rings movies? I have a few costumes we could wear while viewing them.

 

[sister jenny]

Hey wanna watch the entire collection of lord of the rings movies? I have a few costumes we could wear while viewing them.

Well, that would kinda work on me

 

[Rascal69]

That dress would look beautiful on the floor next to my bed.

 

[naughty_stories]

So my doctor says I need more exercise. Care to go horizontal dancing with me. You'll be saving my life.

 

[crazychemgirl]

can I tell you about the story where I farted in public … it’s sexy, I swear!

 

[base10]

can I tell you about the story where I farted in public … it’s sexy, I swear!

Don't tell me about it, I want to smell it

 

[Tallulah82]

Don't tell me about it, I want to smell it

Nice tie. I gave my ex a similar one and he let me tie it for him. You know, like in that Pretty Woman scene? It tied really nice. Very strong. It took his breath away...

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cummer.

 

[cactusjack0584]

Is that a rotten banana in your pants, or is that your natural smell

 

[Chloe_Harper]

Oh, I didn't know a prick could be so attractive.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Oh, I didn't know a prick could be so attractive.

It dresses up real nice. Would you help me put on this tuxedo on it? It velcroes in the back

 

[cactusjack0584]

It dresses up real nice. Would you help me put on this tuxedo on it? It velcroes in the back

Wearing just a tuxedo… on your penis… isn’t appropriate for a black tie affair…

 

[Masters_slutpussy]

I was going to take you to the movies but they said I couldn't bring my own snack.

 

[kathyisgr65]

I was going to take you to the movies but they said I couldn't bring my own snack.

Diabetic...

 

[Sexy_Singer]

Diabetic...

The sauce I make doesn't contain sugar. Let me show you how...

 

[kathyisgr65]

The sauce I make doesn't contain sugar. Let me show you how...

U just lost a stalker if ur talking about steak sauce

 

[Sexy_Singer]

U just lost a stalker if ur talking about steak sauce

Marinara sauce