just turned 18...interested in BDSM...

[catalina_francisco]

"Wenchie, you really need to have your own apartment. Your own life before you get married and share it. "

You know, she was right; but of course I didn't listen then.

LOL, we all think in our youth we know exactly what is out there and are in a hurry to prove how grown up we are.....ugh, I cringe when I think of how ridiculous I must have seemed at times when I was trying to show those 'damp blankets' how well equipped I was to take on life and win!!

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

Find a guy you like. Get comfortable with him. Then begin the journey. You've got lots of time to explore...

Only problem with this idea is if being sub (or Dom/me) is really important in your relationship, getting involved on a vanilla level without any mention of D/s, then hoping your partner will embrace your preferences opens the way for a lot of heartache and pain, not to mention confusion. We have a truckload of threads here asking how to convince vanilla partners they are really kinky. I actually don't see it as any different to saying if you want a vanilla relationship, go find someone into D/s and then hope they will change for you later on...why not just start where you feel you want to be and stay?

Catalina

 

[subgrl18]

Thanks everyone you have been very helpful. I think for the time being since im young and still living at home im just gonna do an online Master. Ive found one who really seams safe. He calls me his Little one and i like that lol. I do think you all are right i am to young to be throwing my life into something or someone. when i asked about what doms do i didnt mean that i dont know...cuz i do lol i just find it interesting hearing what specific doms like to do to their subs you know maybe like their fav. thing. well thanks for the help i apreciate it.

 

[catalina_francisco]

He calls me his Little one and i like that lol.

That is one of the most common ways of a Dom referring to a sub so I hope that is not why you feel he is safe.

Catalina

 

[CutieMouse]

Read. Study. Explore online, if you feel comfortable doing so, but remember there are a million asshats out there, perfeectly happy to play games and use persons who lean toward submissiveness. Question things- even of an online Dominant. If he isn't willing to have conversations as equals, that fall outside of a D/s interaction, or doesn't encourage you to learn things (or respectfully voice opposition), or you are expected to obey simply because you identify as a submissive, use your brains to decide if that is a safe avenue for exploration... in other words, you have a hell of a lot of power, even as a submissive, so use it. Good luck.

 

[the captians wench]

LOL, we all think in our youth we know exactly what is out there and are in a hurry to prove how grown up we are.....ugh, I cringe when I think of how ridiculous I must have seemed at times when I was trying to show those 'damp blankets' how well equipped I was to take on life and win!!

Catalina

You know, honestly it has never really been a matter of proving anyone wrong.

One thing my mother has always praised me about is that i really do consider what she tells me, or what other advice I get. I may not always listen, but I do think about what she's said and weigh it against what I think is best. Some times I listen, sometimes I don't. But I've learned most often she's right.

 

[the captians wench]

Read. Study. Explore online, if you feel comfortable doing so, but remember there are a million asshats out there, perfeectly happy to play games and use persons who lean toward submissiveness. Question things- even of an online Dominant. If he isn't willing to have conversations as equals, that fall outside of a D/s interaction, or doesn't encourage you to learn things (or respectfully voice opposition), or you are expected to obey simply because you identify as a submissive, use your brains to decide if that is a safe avenue for exploration... in other words, you have a hell of a lot of power, even as a submissive, so use it. Good luck.

Just to add on to this a bit....

From 18 until about mid twenties you are going to change a lot. I know it seems like you're all finished growing, but trust me, it will surprize you the changes you go thru durring these next few years. My point is, any one that you choose to be with should understand this, and help suport you durring this very confusing period.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Just to add on to this a bit....

From 18 until about mid twenties you are going to change a lot. I know it seems like you're all finished growing, but trust me, it will surprize you the changes you go thru durring these next few years. My point is, any one that you choose to be with should understand this, and help suport you durring this very confusing period.

And beyond....I have found you continue to grow and change throughout the decades, each time adding another interesting chapter to the journey of life.

Catalina

 

[Betticus]

This thread was almost painful to read. You are all going to drive this poor lil girlie away. What if we just invite her to join in on our neat conversations and let her get comfy before we all become her stodgy old granddad?

*slips the new girl a cookie and a pat on the head*

 

[chris9]

And now it's my turn to sound all grandmother-like. Because I'm so much older and have years and years of experience (subgrl18, I'm 25 with zero experience in a D/s relationship )
I just want you to remember that while the chance of getting physically hurt in an online relationship are slight, you can still get involved very deeply emotionally, so there's always the risk of being hurt and harmed.

I hope I did not help to drive you away Enjoy your journey, take your time!

 

[CharleyH]

My advice is as with entering any relationship....know yourself well; know what it is you want and need; and before looking at what they can do for you, take a look at what you think you can do for them....and I don't mean sex. I am also one who believes especially for women, that it is good if you have had a chance to direct your own life before handing it over to someone else to steer....but not everyone feels that is a necessity.

Catalina

I agree, whole heartedly, yet would also emphasize: look at what "they can do for you." I do not believe all dom/mes can give you what you want or even need as a sub so young, and wouldn't it be awful to end up in a 24/7 you could not release from? I think at 18 it is best to experiment first and see how you fit, and how lovers fit with your wants and needs... then decide where, or in whose hands, you wish to lay your beautiful loyalty.

 

[subgrl18]

Thank you Betticus, i like my cookie

 

[exec1101]

Thoughts

Subgirl 18 -

As you enter this beautiful and sometimes dangerous world, please use your good judgement rather than allowing anyone to pressure you to do things, believe things or betray yourself because it is the way they claim a "real submissive" acts. You will always have rights and the freedom of choice. You should never "submit" those rights away.

Run, don't walk, away from any Dom who makes you feel uneasy because he "demands" things from you that you are unsure of, or unwilling to do.

Submission should never be confused with being a doormat. Doormats are sold at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Have fun, be true to yourself and always ask advice when you feel unsure about any situation.

 

[Betticus]

Thank you Betticus, i like my cookie

Good, now grab a glass of ice cold milk and have fun with us. You have plenty of time to find stuff out. Around here though, cookies go fast!

 

[the captians wench]

Good, now grab a glass of ice cold milk and have fun with us. You have plenty of time to find stuff out. Around here though, cookies go fast!

Fun and cookies? Does that mean you're passing out spankings too?

 

[Betticus]

Fun and cookies? Does that mean you're passing out spankings too?

You are incorrigible!

 

[the captians wench]

You are incorrigible!

*bats eyes real pretty like*

Is that a yes, so?

 

[Marquis]

Do whatever the fuck you want, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Try not to get pregnant, infected, mutilated or killed.

 

[Betticus]

Do whatever the fuck you want, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Try not to get pregnant, infected, mutilated or killed.

WTF??? I can get pregnant from this stuff? How come nobody told me?

Do I have to worry about this healthy glow and urge to combine pickles with ice cream?

 

[subgrl18]

Betticus u make me laugh so hard!

 

[Betticus]

Betticus u make me laugh so hard!

This isn't funny! I think Shankara knocked me up! He's sneaky like that. I thought that one drink made me waaaay too dizzy the other night.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

*grins* and this year has just started...think of all the other times you're gonna get flamed, and now that my concern and i know the way the board works, i'm sure i will be flamed as well. i just really don't like seeing eager submissives jump in and grab up the first Dom they see, only to find out later He was not a Dom at all, just an abuser who used the internet and BDSM as an excuse to beat the girl (and that is a generalization it has nothing do with the OP)

Sometimes the first Dom just happens to be a great one....

Seriously, be careful and learn all you can.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

This isn't funny! I think Shankara knocked me up! He's sneaky like that. I thought that one drink made me waaaay too dizzy the other night.

Damn, Betticus... I just had to clean pepsi off My monitor after that.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Sometimes the first Dom just happens to be a great one....

Seriously, be careful and learn all you can.

*smiles* well yes, i got lucky, but it could have easily turned the other way, i mean after all, You did corrupt my poor lil 'nilla self, ya know?

 

[chris9]

This isn't funny! I think Shankara knocked me up! He's sneaky like that. I thought that one drink made me waaaay too dizzy the other night.

Your own fault for drinking