Litmerick

[sophieloves]

There was a young lady from Perth
who decided she'd never give birth
so she welded those lips
betwixt glorious hips
and gives oral like nothing on earth

 

[sophieloves]

A crotchety spinster from Naid
was stiff and incredibly staid
with grey hair in a bun
what she needed was fun
and to get just incredibly laid

 

[sophieloves]

A shy, spotty teen from Argyle
was a virgin but hoped, in a while,
his complexion would clear
so that he'd get some rear
and his skin wouldn't crack when he'd smile.

 

[Tarakin]

* Bump *

to revive one of my favorite threads!

 

[PandoraGlitters]

A sexy tall blonde in a dress
had to bend to her date to confess
that the gate of her charms
was adorned and well-armed
with two bells and a knocker, no less.

 

[FifthFlower]

Do, Did, Done

"Did he do you?" Her man had to know.
Why men do is a mystery, though.
"Yes, he did me," she said,
"I was done in the bed
Where you did me yourself long ago."

 

[FifthFlower]

Performance

He has had many wives in his bed,
Who would whine, but not one of the them said,
That she did not explode
Before he lost his load,
Though not one of them would he have wed.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Then whose wives did he have in his bed
If none were the ones that he wed
Did he drag them in screaming
For sex that was steaming
Or were each of them easily led?

 

[FifthFlower]

With those wives that he bounced in his bed--
"Once a night, maybe more," so he said--
Came delicious delight,
Though they mentioned he might
Meet their hubbies to fight him instead.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

They could have had a 3 some instead
If he had a big enough bed
So roll over Daisy
And suck me like crazy
And I'll get started on Fred.

 

[FifthFlower]

When she shows him the ring on her hand,
"See? I'm married," he don't understand.
All he wants is a taste.
Her skirt's up to her waist.
"So? You won't get from me a gold band."

 

[FifthFlower]

How the Hubby Does a 3-some

Then her hubby burst in, full of gloom,
Like a beast breathing fire and doom.
"Oh! My hero!" she cried,
"Save me quick! He's inside!"
Now he's out, but chased nude round the room.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

boom boom

 

[Tarakin]

Then her hubby burst in, full of gloom,
Like a beast breathing fire and doom.
"Oh! My hero!" she cried,
"Save me quick! He's inside!"
Now he's out, but chased nude round the room.

LOL!!

 

[FifthFlower]

LOL!!

Thanks and thanks for bumping the thread!

I'm trying to think of a way to use UnderYourSpell's "boom boom" in a limerick.

 

[Tarakin]

Thanks and thanks for bumping the thread!

I'm trying to think of a way to use UnderYourSpell's "boom boom" in a limerick.

Thanks for reviving it
I immediatly thought of an inverted "broom" as a device for some female pleasure, which would fit to boom boom But that could also lead to "doom"

 

[UnderYourSpell]

They did it by drums boom boom
In a specially padded bedroom
The tool was her mothers
Unlike any others
A curved carved and wichety broom.

Your turn lol

 

[Tarakin]

Her husband, sensing his doom,
meanwhile peeped right into her room,
and from his lurking,
he watched her broom working,
her flower just ready to bloom.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Oh petal

 

[Tarakin]

Oh petal

petal?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

An English term of endearment lol to go with your flower!

 

[Tarakin]

She was really in it and smiled,
and about ready to go wild,
when she caressed her petal
he grabbed for those metal
but stopped, for she was so beguiled...

 

[FifthFlower]

Boom Boom

Nice boom, broom, doom ones!


As she walked, her hips waved through the air.
All the men who weren't blind were aware,
Filled their brains with her butt
Till their ladies asked, "What,
Do you think you are staring at there?"

 

[UnderYourSpell]

The hussy was heard to declare
Not my fault the randys stare
I was born with a stutter
That makes my boobs flutter
Attracting from far and near.

 

[FifthFlower]

Then her man said, "That hussy looks great!
Bouncing boobs, bubbly ass, I can't wait
Till they canonize her
And her miracles were:
What was dead is now ready to mate."