Lord Pmann Wants to Discuss Weird Sex Stuff

[Trekka]

If I had a dollar for every weird thing I've put my dick in...
Also, I'm partially glad to have found this thread because I feel ever so slightly less weird, and partially embarrassed relating to Mr. Pony.

my work here is done, folks.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

my work here is done, folks.

Trekka, if you haven't already been formally introduced... Meet @MischiefMakerAlways

I have a feeling you'd both get along famously

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Trekka, if you haven't already been formally introduced... Meet @MischiefMakerAlways

I have a feeling you'd both get along famously

Am I insulted or honored?

 

[Lord Pmann]

Fuck all yall.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Fuck all yall.

Big ambitions there. But I'll watch.
Who's going to be first?

 

[BongoGal]

Who's going to be first?

 

[TheEternalBeachBum]

Against a pole on I-10

I-10 in which state or city? It matters greatly.

You could’ve been in the middle of the desert, or admiring the wildflowers, or (best option) in full view of several hundred motorists taking the exit ramp to Buc-ees

 

[SassySheDevil]

That's a pretty nice nose he has.

But since Pmann has already been there. I guess it would be "who's next"

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

my work here is done, folks.

Shouldn't it at least be Sir Pony? All the young kids have no respect these days. I got you @Lord Pmann

 

[Lord Pmann]

The one in pink is best. I like girly girls and girly vacuums.

I-10 in which state or city? It matters greatly.

You could’ve been in the middle of the desert, or admiring the wildflowers, or (best option) in full view of several hundred motorists taking the exit ramp to Buc-ees

Florida. It was not a desert road. It was actually a junction of a new exit. We got caught by a family on a 4-wheeler with a trailer full of kids in the back. Like, they didn’t sneak up on us, as I’m not deaf and I could hear the 4-wheeler. But they obviously saw what was going on and waited for us to stop what we were doing so they could drive past without their children being educated to early.

That's a pretty nice nose he has.

But since Pmann has already been there. I guess it would be "who's next"

We aren’t running a train on Ms. Suxalot.

Shouldn't it at least be Sir Pony? All the young kids have no respect these days. I got you @Lord Pmann

How about Sir Lord Pmann?

 

[SassySheDevil]

We aren’t running a train on Ms. Suxalot.

Choo choo! All aboard the Pmann train!

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

How about Sir Lord Pmann?

Sir Lord Pony seems like a too much.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Fuck all yall.

I don't know how my cavernous vag and your tiny peen will go, but I'll try anything twice

 

[Taegul]

It's nice to see Pmann embracing all his interests...

 

[Lord Pmann]

It's nice to see Pmann embracing all his interests...

You magnificent bastard.

 

[Series 6]

Alright, a disturbing conversation on S&S got me thinking today about the diversity of fuckery represented here on Lit.

Now I have done some things and watched some porn about which I'd be uncomfortable discussing with my mother. However, some of the things you all do and watch I’d be uncomfortable discussing with Satan (e.g., tentacle porn). With that said, this is a judgment free zone.

What kind of weird stuff are you into? Weird porn? Fucking weird things? Crazy costumes? Fucked in weird places? Fuck any famous people? Crazy sex toys?

Now this all works better if we admit stuff. So, I’ll start.

Things I’ve done:

1. Masturbated in a Pizza Hut bathroom.
2. Masturbated in a school bathroom.
3. Stuck my dick in a vacuum (multiple times).
4. Masturbated in a group setting (with miniature masturbatory stalls to keep the privacy).

Oddly, I find that my porn watching habits are pretty damned normal and not worth mentioning.

Oddlier, I seem to masturbate in some weird places.

So what are you weirdos up to? Doing anything of note? I already know about your tentacle porn.

I have to ask, why at the Pizza Hut bathroom? Was it one of the old class 80's ones?

 

[Lord Pmann]

I have to ask, why at the Pizza Hut bathroom? Was it one of the old class 80's ones?

I was young (within forum rules, that is). Ahem. My waitress had big boobs. She was pretty. And I just couldn’t focus.

So I made a makeshift bed of raspy brown paper towels on the floor and masturbated. It was a pretty low point for me, masturbatorally. But not necessarily the lowest.

Why did I do it on the floor? Because I was very stupid and very horny. And I’m kind of a clean freak and germaphobe. So the fact that I was that horny says bad things about my character.

It was one of the 80s ones. I mean, it took place in the mid 90s. But it was the brown roofed Pizza Hut you’re imagining.

 

[Series 6]

I was young (within forum rules, that is). Ahem. My waitress had big boobs. She was pretty. And I just couldn’t focus.

So I made a makeshift bed of raspy brown paper towels on the floor and masturbated. It was a pretty low point for me, masturbatorally. But not necessarily the lowest.

Why did I do it on the floor? Because I was very stupid and very horny. And I’m kind of a clean freak and germaphobe. So the fact that I was that horny says bad things about my character.

It was one of the 80s ones. I mean, it took place in the mid 90s. But it was the brown roofed Pizza Hut you’re imagining.

The brown paper towels always set a mood

 

[aussiegeekygal]

You magnificent bastard.

I think that means he has an erection

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I was young (within forum rules, that is). Ahem. My waitress had big boobs. She was pretty. And I just couldn’t focus.

So I made a makeshift bed of raspy brown paper towels on the floor and masturbated. It was a pretty low point for me, masturbatorally. But not necessarily the lowest.

Why did I do it on the floor? Because I was very stupid and very horny. And I’m kind of a clean freak and germaphobe. So the fact that I was that horny says bad things about my character.

It was one of the 80s ones. I mean, it took place in the mid 90s. But it was the brown roofed Pizza Hut you’re imagining.

Haha
You lied down?
You fucking legend

 

[Series 6]

Haha
You lied down?
You fucking legend

I preferred that he lied about the whole thing. Masturbating on a bed of brown paper towels in a Pizza Hut bathroom because the big boobed waitress turned him on.

You are right. Total Legend.

 

[Amanda330]

I was young (within forum rules, that is). Ahem. My waitress had big boobs. She was pretty. And I just couldn’t focus.

So I made a makeshift bed of raspy brown paper towels on the floor and masturbated. It was a pretty low point for me, masturbatorally. But not necessarily the lowest.

Why did I do it on the floor? Because I was very stupid and very horny. And I’m kind of a clean freak and germaphobe. So the fact that I was that horny says bad things about my character.

It was one of the 80s ones. I mean, it took place in the mid 90s. But it was the brown roofed Pizza Hut you’re imagining.

Amazing use of imagery and the word masturbatorally...

It may be interesting to know what the lowest would be.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I recently discovered the “Sharpie Fun” thread. I had no idea a Sharpie was such a filthy writing utensil.
I also feel like I haven’t had the proper amount of things in my ass. Just a finger once or twice, but it didn’t really do anything for me.

I have stuck my dick in a Shop Vac, but, unlike Pmann, I chickened out immediately. As soon as the suction pulled me in I pulled the plug fearing it might rip my dick off.

I never went back.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The brown paper towels always set a mood

Kind of like silk sheets and a mirror on the ceiling. But instead it's sandpaper grade paper towels and a flickering light on the ceiling.

Haha
You lied down?
You fucking legend

To this day I don't know why I went with that option. There were easier options that didn't involve that.

I preferred that he lied about the whole thing. Masturbating on a bed of brown paper towels in a Pizza Hut bathroom because the big boobed waitress turned him on.

You are right. Total Legend.

I am sorry. She was just too hot.

Amazing use of imagery and the word masturbatorally...

It may be interesting to know what the lowest would be.

Thank you. I like to paint a pretty picture with my words. In fact, I'm pretty sure this story should go in @OrdinaryPerson 's Porn Women Like thread.

And you know my low point.

I recently discovered the “Sharpie Fun” thread. I had no idea a Sharpie was such a filthy writing utensil.
I also feel like I haven’t had the proper amount of things in my ass. Just a finger once or twice, but it didn’t really do anything for me.

I have stuck my dick in a Shop Vac, but, unlike Pmann, I chickened out immediately. As soon as the suction pulled me in I pulled the plug fearing it might rip my dick off.

I never went back.

It's funny, because this thread actually started as a result of a combination of things I recently read and discussed, one of them being the use of Sharpies (a different poster than this one).

Also, how am I just now hearing that you once stuck your dick in a vacuum? Have I paved the way for other vacuum fuckers to come forward? Am I a pioneer in the vacuum fucker community? Am I the + in LGBTQ+?

I am like the Ellen Degeneres of the vacuum community.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Have I paved the way for other vacuum fuckers to come forward? Am I a pioneer in the vacuum fucker community? Am I the + in LGBTQ+?

I am like the Ellen Degeneres of the vacuum community.

You are more the founder of the Vacuum Violators Club.

Which leads me to a new thought, how have the good people at Fleshlight not invented a ShopVac attachment for their product?

Think of the possibilities! An Onlyfans page where hot guys teach DIY projects in their garage and at the end of the show they fuck a ShopVac with Fleshlight attachment with, possibly, a power Sharpie in their ass.

Women would sign up for that page in droves. They love DIY!

This idea is pure !