Loss of respect?

[Etoile]

My job is pretty damn subservient. And yes, I'm more comfortable this way. When I do have to take control, I feel out of place. But I would say that I am subservient as much because I don't have confidence in my abilities, as because I'm a submissive person. I feel that I am woefully unequipped for a lot of things, and it's much more comfortable for me to let other people tell me what to do. Maybe that's why I am a submissive person - because my submissive nature is related to not knowing what to do, to feeling helpless in many situations.

 

[FurryFury]

In my experience, it's accurate but it plays out in weird ways. Not every sub I've played with is a stereotypical exec, but you can bet that the vast majority have very stressful and demanding jobs. A lot of the Dominants I've met also have stressful and demanding jobs, but are often beholden to someone else's stupidity when final say comes down and feel locked in by that - whether that means you're a waiter or a lawyer doesn't really matter.

That's interesting to hear Netzach.

Another thing I find is the more in control of your life you feel you have versus the more out of control feeling you have about your life tends to have an impact for me (and some close buddies of mine ) as well.

Fury

 

[lil_slave_rose]

My job is pretty damn subservient. And yes, I'm more comfortable this way. When I do have to take control, I feel out of place. But I would say that I am subservient as much because I don't have confidence in my abilities, as because I'm a submissive person. I feel that I am woefully unequipped for a lot of things, and it's much more comfortable for me to let other people tell me what to do. Maybe that's why I am a submissive person - because my submissive nature is related to not knowing what to do, to feeling helpless in many situations.

i know exactly what you're saying Etoile, though when i was in the 'leadership role' at work, i didn't necessarily feel 'out of place' maybe it's because i'm used to being 'the boss' at home with my kids? lol..i don't know, but i do for sure know that it doesn't mean i'm not "A" submissive, or submissive (though i'm not sure of the difference there, maybe osg will explain her views on this for me) because i AM submissive by nature, it's not just a game i play sometimes, though i am NOT submissive to every single Dom i meet either. *shrugs*

i'm glad to get home and read others see things the way i do though, i thought maybe i was going to be flamed for stating my opinion on the whole 'if you thrive in a position of power than you're not a submissive' but i truly was trying to understand where exactly osg was coming from with that statement. and now i'm rambling because i'm tired, so i'll just stop..LOL...have a great night all

 

[MasterPhoenix]

In my opinion, a job in no way defines a person as a Dominant or submissive. I have seen the archetype of the high power business man who loves to come home and be led on a leash used here. I am sure that there are also waitstaff who come home and are the meanest frigging most sadistic dominants you could meet. In my job, I am neither sub nor Dom, I get my job done. If I am told something needs to be done, I do it. In the times when there is a power vaccuum because of a lack of a team lead, I tend to fill it, because thats my nature. But if the big boss tells me to do something, I can't exactly tun to her and say "Fuck that shit, on your knees bitch" and expect to have a job the next day. I just go with the flow, and get work done, so I can get the hell out of there.

If a person lives their life as submissive to One, then IMO that would make them a submissive. Its not about submitting to every Tom Harry Dick who walks down the street and may or may not have any kind of a dominant tendency. Its about submitting to that One that matters.

We all have many roles in our lives: lover, friend, brother/sister, son/ daughter, parent (for many), employee, etc and not all of these roles are going to be involving the same dynamic as other roles. I think it would be folly to believe that one could be always dominant or always submissive across every role in our life.

I am not submissive by nature, but if my mom asks me to do something, it will damn well be done, that is respect. If my boss tells me to do something, it will be done if I want to have a job the next day, Do either of those scenarios make me any less dominant? I sure the hell don't think so. I am either fulfilling my role as a son to my mother, or an employee to the Target Corporation.

By the same token if I just started barking orders to my friends because I am a 'Dominant' I probably would not have many friends, as they would get sick of it. Again, does this make me not a dominant? Nah, it makes me polite.

In the Dominant/submissive lifestyle it is about an EXCHANGE of power among two ro more people. A person can be a submissive in that lifestyle and still be in a position of power outside the relationship. It is but a part of what makes up the matrix of who we are.

****THE ABOVE IS INTENDED TO BE SOLELY MY OPINION THAT IS BASED ON MY BELIEFS AND EXPERIENCES****

 

[Marquis]

****THE ABOVE IS INTENDED TO BE SOLELY MY OPINION THAT IS BASED ON MY BELIEFS AND EXPERIENCES****

How humble of you.

All the information in my posts are universal truths that I hold to be self-evident.

 

[Etoile]

How humble of you.

All the information in my posts are universal truths that I hold to be self-evident.

Hahaha...I am reading this thread on my cellphone, and I can only see a few lines at a time. I usually jump to the bottom and then scroll up to where I left off, and when I saw this message I said "that's got to be Marquis." I kept scrolling up, and lo and behold - I was right.

 

[Netzach]

I just call the patterns as I see 'em. I don't think people pulled the "bottoms who balance job stress with lack of control in the bedroom" thing from their collective asses.

 

[FurryFury]

I just call the patterns as I see 'em. I don't think people pulled the "bottoms who balance job stress with lack of control in the bedroom" thing from their collective asses.

This sort of post is one reason why I love you!

LMAO!

Fury

 

[MasterPhoenix]

How humble of you.

All the information in my posts are universal truths that I hold to be self-evident.

I just was not in the mood for being flamed becuase someoen thought I was making a broad generalization.

 

[AvaAdore]

OT, but anyway...

Though I have never performed anal on a man, it is something that I would like to try. But to say that a man is *weak* or a *bitch* because he likes it, is just being asinine! Just like I don't understand why a man refuses to try it because he's afraid he *might like it*. It would be a tremendous turn on and I would appreciate him even more if he *allowed* me to try it because he knew how much I wanted experience it.

For what it's worth...there goes my two cents worth...

Your bananas scare me...

 

[Life_Noir]

However, once I did get rejected from hooking up with a sub I met because I told her I'm not a big fan of eating pussy. She said she couldn't understand how a real dominant wouldn't want to take control over a woman in that way.

*LOL*
This nagged at the back of my head for a while...till I remembered what it reminded me of....


Master and servant

by Trystilarn

Slave: :::kneeling::: Oh Master!!!! You are the whole of my universe, the certainty of my existence. You are why my heart beats, my lungs fill, my toes curl. You shelter me like an offshore bank in the Reagan years. i grovel before you in awe of Your power, willing to satisfy You in every way...

Master: ::eering over the paper::: Every way?

Slave: ::ressing forehead to the floor and wiggling seductively::: Anything and everything is open to You oh Magnificent Maven of Mastery!! i beg, nay, beseech, nayer still, humbly crawl to kiss Your toes in the hopes You will use me...

Master: The bank account?

Slave: ::looking up from underneath her hair::: what?

Master: Your bank account. You said everything was open to me, so I was thinking of that big account you have ...

Slave: ::coming up on all fours to stare:: Oh most wonderfulest of all Masters, surely you know that your ultimate control of me is so extensive that all I have is yours, but...BUT...You are so secure in the knowledge of my perfect and total enslavement that You would have no need to actually =have= an account number for this, Your most humble of servants.

Master: No cash?

Slave: :::dropping head back down to the floor::: As always, Master, Your understanding of my heart is perfection in and of itself. It is why i give You every atom of my being, even unto the subatomic level...

Master: :::folding away the paper::: Then it's sex.

Slave: ::raising and throwing her arms up in touchdown form::: YESYESYES..Oh, Master of mine, You are truly the ultimate owner of my being!!!

Master: oral sex.

Slave: YESYESYESYES

Master: You would like to give me oral sex.

Slave: ::dropping arms to her sides to stare::: what?

Master: Well, I thought that this time instead of me...you know...I might command you...

Slave: ::gritting teeth::: MASTER....errr Master, Your memory being so much better and stronger than that of Your lowly slave, i =know= You recall how You show Your ultimate Mastery by satis...er...torturing Your property for hours on end. You recall how i shriek at Your touch? How i squirm in agony trying to escape?

Master: Well, yes...there is a lot of squirming...

Slave: ::leaping to her feet and jumping up and down::: Oh Master!! You punish Your slave to help her better serve You in the perfection of Your regard!! :::running into the bedroom, voice fading into the distance::: Let Your lowly slave suffer soon, Master!!

Master: :::sighing deeply, turning off the TV and following his slave into the bedroom:::

<<<2 hours later>>>

Slave: ::::Lying back on the bed, one arm behind her head, legs crossed, slowly blowing smoke rings:: Oh Master, You are surely showing this one how to behave tonight.

Master: ::lying on his back, chest heaving, sweaty hair matted to his head::: uhhh...uhhhh

Slave: ::sighing and stretching ::: This lowly slave is so happy she learned on the web that everyone has their own unique way to share in the wondrous world of D and s...

Master: uhhhhnn..uhhh

Slave: ...and is so happy that her Master is so cruel and demanding and that she can offer herself totally to Him each and every day!

Master: UHHH...uhhhh

Slave: And Master?

Master: uhh?

Slave: ::looking deeply into His eyes, lower lip trembling::: It makes Your slave tremble in fear and longing to know that soon You will once again train Your slave to perfect obedience by denying her the pleasure of cooking dinner...

Master: ::sighing:: uhhhhhhhhhhhnn



Hmmmm Comme to think of it.... A lot of what I read on here periodicly reminds me of this...

 

[pandoravampire]

I guess we learn from experience, personally, ive never had the experience of a guy NOT liking it. What's not to like?

Id lose respect for a guy, who i 'knew' liked it, but denied themselves the pleasure coz he thought it wasnt manly, or straight.

I guess the women in the interview, were not selected for their ability to consider where their thoughts come from, what they are based in, the consequence for both them and perspective partners at such open Tourettes.

pandoravampire

 

[StrongMaster7]

As the guy who started this thread, I have to say that I appreciate the honesty and opinions. I guess I wanted to know if there was a vast majority feeling one way or the other. Clearly, it seems like it depends on the lady whether using a strap-on on her man would make her lose respect for him.

 

[ChristopherMaxwell]

Add my voice to the many saying that whether a guy likes receiving anal has nothing to do with his sexual orientation or masculinity. Like slavin said...it's about what feels good. I bet more guys would try anal if they knew what it did for their prostate!

I've heard that before somewhere. I wonder how exactly that works. I'm not that sexually inexperienced, but I haven't exactly experimented with my arsehole before. It just hasn't occurred to me. Well, aside from having my girl sometimes rim me in the shower, and that was her idea, not mine.

 

[CutieMouse]

A book I'm currently reading explains that inserting a finger/dildo/etc into the anus stimulates both the "bulb" of the penis (which apparently feels like masturbating from the inside); the prostate gland is about 3" up the anus, and stroking it can feel anything from pleasureable to irritating, depending on the man. Interestingly, a woman's "G-spot" is considered to be similar to a man's prostate gland, although the G-spot cannot be stimulated through the rectal wall.

 

[ChristopherMaxwell]

A book I'm currently reading explains that inserting a finger/dildo/etc into the anus stimulates both the "bulb" of the penis (which apparently feels like masturbating from the inside); the prostate gland is about 3" up the anus, and stroking it can feel anything from pleasureable to irritating, depending on the man. Interestingly, a woman's "G-spot" is considered to be similar to a man's prostate gland, although the G-spot cannot be stimulated through the rectal wall.

News to me. Hmmm.....definitely food for thought. Thanks for the explanation, love.

 

[Etoile]

I've heard that before somewhere. I wonder how exactly that works. I'm not that sexually inexperienced, but I haven't exactly experimented with my arsehole before. It just hasn't occurred to me. Well, aside from having my girl sometimes rim me in the shower, and that was her idea, not mine.

CutieMouse is right. The prostate is a major joy button for most men, at least if treated properly. Rimming feels good, but it's all on the outside, pretty much. The prostate is accessible from inside the ass, and if you have a small dildo or similar object you will likely be able to figure out where it is!

 

[ChristopherMaxwell]

CutieMouse is right. The prostate is a major joy button for most men, at least if treated properly. Rimming feels good, but it's all on the outside, pretty much. The prostate is accessible from inside the ass, and if you have a small dildo or similar object you will likely be able to figure out where it is!

Ah, that explains it. Thank you. It's not a topic that I've exactly studied much in the past.

 

[Shankara20]

Ah, that explains it. Thank you. It's not a topic that I've exactly studied much in the past.

If I may make a suggestion - there are several very good reasons for every man to get educated about their prostate. It is the source of pleasure, and just about every man over 70 has prostate cancer in some form of the other. It can develop in much younger men and every man should consider getting prostate exams and PSA tests starting no older then 40. The tests are no big deal, a Dr's finger up your butt and a blood test, and they can save your life.


ohhh - fingers in the ass and needle play yum yum

 

[ChristopherMaxwell]

If I may make a suggestion - there are several very good reasons for every man to get educated about their prostate. It is the source of pleasure, and just about every man over 70 has prostate cancer in some form of the other. It can develop in much younger men and every man should consider getting prostate exams and PSA tests starting no older then 40. The tests are no big deal, a Dr's finger up your butt and a blood test, and they can save your life.


ohhh - fingers in the ass and needle play yum yum

Thanks, love. Must be one of the residual effects of my upbringing. I had very staunch Anglican parents. Not the liberal stripe of Anglican at all. And my father had some very distinct views on any kind of anal penetration, if you get my drift. I suppose that's one of the remaining shackles to cast off, eh?

 

[Shankara20]

Thanks, love. Must be one of the residual effects of my upbringing. I had very staunch Anglican parents. Not the liberal stripe of Anglican at all. And my father had some very distinct views on any kind of anal penetration, if you get my drift. I suppose that's one of the remaining shackles to cast off, eh?

I do understand - cast off those shackles

There are a bunch of very straight guys that do enjoy the occasional poke in the bum with something just shy of a flesh-and-blood male member.


but do keep them restraints around for when you find someone you want to shackle to the floor and then have you way

 

[ChristopherMaxwell]

I do understand - cast off those shackles

There are a bunch of very straight guys that do enjoy the occasional poke in the bum with something just shy of a flesh-and-blood male member.


but do keep them restraints around for when you find someone you want to shackle to the floor and then have you way

LOL. Good images. Thank you, darling.

 

[mjl2010]

Then I was listening to Playboy Radio on Sirius and Christy Canyon and Ginger Lynn were talking about anal sex. Ginger, as porn fans will know, enjoys all aspects of anal sex, at least she does on camera. Christy, who does not do anal on camera claimed to do it in private. Then they talked about strapping on dildoes and fucking a man in his ass. At first I was really excited to hear them discuss how much they enjoyed it. But then both of them agreed that they dumped the guy shortly thereafter because the guy must be a bitch to allow that.

See, the trouble with listening to porn stars talk, is they've all had their brains fucked out. So very few of them have anything to say that takes any kind of cognitive thought.

Personally, the idea of being the one bent over is so foreign to me I can't imagine it. But if it happened to me I'd still be the man I am and would beat anyone to a pulp who said otherwise...

back to lurking

MJL

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... consider getting prostate exams and PSA tests starting no older then 40. The tests are no big deal, a Dr's finger up your butt and a blood test, and they can save your life.


ohhh - fingers in the ass and needle play yum yum

Every year with my physical now...
*sighs* And nothing yum yum about them I'm afraid. Uncomfortable, and annoying, but I'm bound and determined to take good care of me for as long as I can, so I put up with them. Yup yup! Good advice for all us men!

 

[Etoile]

Every year with my physical now...
*sighs* And nothing yum yum about them I'm afraid. Uncomfortable, and annoying, but I'm bound and determined to take good care of me for as long as I can, so I put up with them. Yup yup! Good advice for all us men!

You know, it would not surprise me AT ALL if some of the men who die each year from prostate cancer suffered that fate because they were scared of the idea of a doctor reaching up their bum.