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JonnyD1 said:
We are brought up to believe men are into the more direct route and it is women who like the foreplay, taking their time, etc. I'm in the same boat as your hubby. I like the scenic route, as you so aptly described it. In fact, it is one of the main reasons why I have been turned off to sex with my wife, I mean besides the fact that she just isn't all that interested. She seems to enjoy waking me up first thing in the morning and asking me if I want to fuck. Not the most romantic approach. I enjoy foreplay, maybe starting out with a romantic dinner, or walk in the park. Anyway, I don't like to give advice because I don't know anyone's particular situation. I'm just saying it's possible that hubby needs a little more than wham, bam, thank you m'am. You might strike up his interest by plying him with a little wine and lingering conversation over a casual dinner.
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I've always wondered what causes how we approach sex. Nature vs. Nurture? I am very much emotionally programed like a male.
 
JonnyD1 said:
It is interesting, isn't it? On one hand you have nature (instincts) programming males to find as many of the female species they can to procreate with and ensure the continuation of the human species. On the other hand you have the females who nurture their young to ensure their healthy growth into adulthood, so the process can start all over again.
Then you have our egos mediating our instincts to help us develop a more socialized way of approaching sex. Somewhere in all that we learn from our parents interactions and our peer groups.
Then you have a self-image that determines how you feel about your body and that opens up a whole new frontier.
It's a wonder we ever find anyone with whom we are compatible.
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So true! Then add to that people like me who aren't sure where they fit in. Grew up as a major tomboy, very athletic, and loved to get dirty...yet expected to act as the nurturing female when it doesn't come naturally to me. When you think about it, sex should be the most natural easiest thing we do. ;)
 
hey freckle

u seem like a loving person and i hope everything works out for u...just try to stay positive and who knows may be ur husband gets turned on by the idea of u talking to other ppl?
 
Coach and Mina and anyone else,
Glad you got a kick from my word choice.
Life is tough enough all by itself and when you add in mismatched libidos on the homefront it can feel pretty dreary.
A little levity can go a long way towards brightening someones day. I hope I brightened yours, and your witty replies certainly brighten mine. Cool stuff :)

Andyomamma totally cracked me up as well! thanks Dude.
 
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Siren_Smiles said:
We're very lucky as this has not been the case. I think if I had continued to internalize and blame myself, things could have spiraled into a real mess. Part of what has confused me so much about this situation is that we are on the same page in every other aspect of our lives. Sometimes, I think if other areas had been suffering, it would have been easier to address and he would be more open to our usual direct manner of dealing with things.

I appreciate your perspective and advice. There's a way to make it work, and I'm going to find it ;)
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He should be willing to do anything to help make your relationship better. This includes counseling. This involves any area of your lives.

Slow communication is not always the best kind. Our time is never unlimited. Patience is important. But so is happiness.
 
wahoo33 said:
Coach and Mina and anyone else,
Glad you got a kick from my word choice.
Life is tough enough all by itself and when you add in mismatched libidos on the homefront it can feel pretty dreary.
A little levity can go a long way towards brightening someones day. I hope I brightened yours, and your witty replies certainly brighten mine. Cool stuff :)

Andyomamma totally cracked me up as well! thanks Dude.
Click to expand...

I am sure that you will find many people on here with a 'libido' to match your own. If their 'homefront' also involves a relationship, then there is even more of a chance to have your life be a little less 'dreary'.
 
JonnyD1 said:
Experience is good, but I think sex is best when you can let out your inner child.:)
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new to the thread, but I agree with this assessment. I believe some of the best sex I ever had came with laughter and giggles and playfulness and some of the worst was all serious.
 
jake34 said:
I am sure that you will find many people on here with a 'libido' to match your own. If their 'homefront' also involves a relationship, then there is even more of a chance to have your life be a little less 'dreary'.
Click to expand...

A girlfriend in college captured this idea for me well. She said sex is like playing tennis. The best sex is tied to a good 'match' and when two people are well matched and challenge each other well, it's terrific! She also believed (at the time, anyway) that tennis/sex with the same person all the time gets boring and that variety of styles of tennis/sex made it all the more enjoyable. Hmm, whatever happened to that girl?
 
JonnyD1 said:
Experience is good, but I think sex is best when you can let out your inner child.:)
Click to expand...

agedmac said:
new to the thread, but I agree with this assessment. I believe some of the best sex I ever had came with laughter and giggles and playfulness and some of the worst was all serious.
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Agreed and agreed. Laughter produces oodles of endorphins. Makes things more fun, makes you feel better about the person you're with. Good all around. :)
 
Anyone else dragging today? It supposed to rain for the next week and a possible round of tornadoes rolling in later today. Lovely.:(
 
PutMeInCoach12 said:
Anyone else dragging today? It supposed to rain for the next week and a possible round of tornadoes rolling in later today. Lovely.:(
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solar flares today......what do we really know about how it affects us? We know that the evidence is that more crime (one-on-one) increases during full moons and I read that women get hornier during them as well (no real experience with that).... Maybe the solar flare (the biggest in 11 years) unhinges the female's desires.....nice thought..... that in certain solar events we would 'expect' women to be kinky and take lovers and be aggressive and sexual......lol....... I know, who is this guy writing this?
 
agedmac said:
solar flares today......what do we really know about how it affects us? We know that the evidence is that more crime (one-on-one) increases during full moons and I read that women get hornier during them as well (no real experience with that).... Maybe the solar flare (the biggest in 11 years) unhinges the female's desires.....nice thought..... that in certain solar events we would 'expect' women to be kinky and take lovers and be aggressive and sexual......lol....... I know, who is this guy writing this?
Click to expand...

Ha!:D That's a lot for my brain to process this morning. Did you know we're supposed to have an extra full moon this year? Just a little fact to repay you for yours this morning. :)
 
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