Meeting Master for the first time?

[frappy]

thanks.

I'm sure its fine though, He's the sweetest guy ever.

I hope it works out the way you hope.

 

[doll_parts85]

I hope it works out the way you hope.

It will

The last time I met a guy online...it went badly...he dumped me a week after we met...it was my first time having sex and everything...

 

[SweetGigi]

o__0

and how long ago was that?

 

[doll_parts85]

o__0

and how long ago was that?

Dec 2005. I need to move on.

 

[FurryFury]

I hope it works out the way you hope.

I could say that too but I won't because we often hope for things that are wrong for us. Oh those things seem like what we want or should want but they are dangerous and ill considered.

So, in spite of the attention whore and not listening aspects of the OP, I wish her the best instead of what she hopes for.

Fury

 

[doll_parts85]

*deletes*

 

[FurryFury]

I just want a boyfriend I've never had a boyfriend before...

Everyone wants a boy/girl friend AKA love. I totally understand that. However, you have to learn to know and love yourself before any relationship has a decent chance of working for you and the other person.

It seems that, to you, "having a boyfriend" means having a Dom (twice your age that you don't know in RL) who controls you in a micromanagement way.

This is desirable for you because you feel cared for and loved. Also you don't have to step up and make decisions yourself other than to put your life in his hands. Oh and it seems these controlled things are mostly part of your daily needs not his.

Okaaaaay.

But I have to hand it to you, for someone who is so afraid to make decisions and/or leave the house, you did get fucked somehow. Maybe he dumped you but that shows you can make things happen and make decisions when you want to.

Fury

 

[doll_parts85]

But I have to hand it to you, for someone who is so afraid to make decisions and/or leave the house, you did get fucked somehow. Maybe he dumped you but that shows you can make things happen and make decisions when you want to.

Fury

He was a nice guy...I thought...45...married...but he really liked me...and said I was pretty and stuff...we only talked for a little over a month before we met...and then he stopped talking to me a week after he visited.

 

[doll_parts85]

Do you think the structure of a group home and attending Day program would be better for me than living with a Dom?

 

[frappy]

Do you think the structure of a group home and attending Day program would be better for me than living with a Dom?

Get a therapist, if you don't already have one and ask him/her.

 

[SweetGigi]

Ok, I've stayed out of this simply because I'm considered a newbie here. But I am most certainly not a newbie to our lifestyle or to creeps on the internet. My very first connection with a M/s relationship was in a simular situation to this one you are explaining. The only difference is, I saw the redflags and began to question His ethics and intentions. Unfortunately it was little too late when I did and I am very lucky I excaped with my life... literally.

Listen, Doll, there is NOTHING wrong with you posing questions to your Daddy. Any good PYL would not be upset in anyway by your questioning them for your own safety. Rather, most I've ever known of encourrage their slaves/subs to be inquisitive. Healthy questions and dialog is simply that. It is not you demeaning him or discrediting him, it is you being an adult and being aware of your surroundings enough to protect yourself. Should you discuss your boundaries in a vanilla convo first? Yes, absolutely. Should you arrange to meet first in public whether you have a social phobia? Absolutely yes. Is your social phobia more crippling than the idea of being harmed or worse by someone you 'think' you know? Be smart about this, Doll, you know this answer. Should you allow him to pick you up at your home first; allowing a perfect stranger (in essence) know where you live IF he turns out to be a not so nice person? NO; imphatically, NO. This is just maddness if you ask me. I am scared to death for you, truly.

Doll, hunny, it is situations like this that get out to the press when they go horribly wrong. It's senarios like these that gives 'nilla people the idea that 'we' are all stupid reject freaks that 'bring bad things on ourselves'. It's moments of choice like this that give BDSM a bad name when it ends poorly. Be smart about this. I know you don't like making choices for yourself and that you really really want a good boyfriend... but you do have the responsiblity to be a smart adult. Believe me, you will respect yourself more in the end and your Master (if he is worthy) will love you even more.

 

[doll_parts85]

Get a therapist, if you don't already have one and ask him/her.

I have a therapist. I used to attend Day Treatment...but I left b/c it was too difficult and causing me panic attacks...and I was going to move into the group home....I was on the list...next person to move into the independant living homes...its part of the group home, but its sort of like living on your own...you get a room mate and they come and check on you everyday to make sure you clean and stuff...and they have meals together at the group home...but I changed my mind and decided to move in with my brother and his girlfriend...which turned out bad...and now I'm living on my own and I hate it...

 

[doll_parts85]

*deletes*

 

[SweetGigi]

oh wow.

this is much more complicated than I thought.


Hunny, you DO NOT need a master.... you need something much different. You need to get back into that group and you need to continue to seek help. I'm not sure why you went in the first place, but by transferring your problems from one 'issue' to the next is only gonna push you further and further away from who you really need to be.

I will be praying for you and if you need ANYTHING I am only PM away.

 

[doll_parts85]

oh wow.

this is much more complicated than I thought.


Hunny, you DO NOT need a master.... you need something much different. You need to get back into that group and you need to continue to seek help. I'm not sure why you went in the first place, but by transferring your problems form one 'issue' to the next is only gonna push you further and further away from who you really need to be.

I will be praying for you and if you need ANYTHING I am only PM away.

I went b/c I was dropped by 4 therapists and they said I was beyond help

 

[doll_parts85]

But now I have a really good therapist that actually asks me questions and gets me talking...the others just stared at me and expected me to talk for 45 minutes about stuff which I could never think of...I love my therapist I have now...He's great.

 

[Penalt]

At this point I think that pretty much everything that should be said, has been said. No need to muddy the waters further. All that remains is to see what happens.

 

[doll_parts85]

At this point I think that pretty much everything that should be said, has been said. No need to muddy the waters further. All that remains is to see what happens.

do you agree with the group idea?

 

[CutieMouse]

do you agree with the group idea?

Why does it matter what a stranger on the internet thinks? Discuss the issue with your therapist, who knows what your abilities and limitations are.

 

[doll_parts85]

Why does it matter what a stranger on the internet thinks? Discuss the issue with your therapist, who knows what your abilities and limitations are.

I like getting lots of opinions before making a choice I can't make choices on my own! Its a big life changing choice...how am I supposed to make it?

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I went b/c I was dropped by 4 therapists and they said I was beyond help

sorry, i don't buy this for a second. therapists do not say 'you are beyond help' i think you are attention seeking and that's it, plain and simple.....sorry to be so harsh but this is what i'm getting out of all of your posts and i feel like i'm wasting my time posting to anything you say because you A.) have an answer/excuse for everything and B.) you are not listening to anything any one says anyway.....you want the attention that you are getting and that's it......

 

[pellso27]

you forgot two words....and last!

 

[HottieMama]

He belongs to BDSM clubs in FL. He has plenty of chances at girls...He wouldn't fly to NY to hurt me...He'd hurt a girl down there...

BULLSHIT! He would fly to NY to "hurt" you...BECAUSE you're not in his own community...therefore not hanging out at the same munches or play parties..and MUCH less likely to know any of his friends.

Ok..now that i have read all the responses...i will add more thoughts. You need to be in some sort of facilitated living place....NOT in a D/s relationship. Having a "Daddy," will NOT fix your problems, and i really wonder about him if he says it will. He is taking advantage of your weakness, and possibly exploiting you for his own benefit. (By weakness i mean mental and emotional, NOT submissive tendencies.)

Get help, Doll...not a bandaid that has the friggin nerve to call himself a Daddy.

 

[minx1]

sorry, i don't buy this for a second. therapists do not say 'you are beyond help'

lol Rose you took the words right outta my mouth. I thought exactly the same when I read that

 

[doll_parts85]

sorry, i don't buy this for a second. therapists do not say 'you are beyond help' i think you are attention seeking and that's it, plain and simple.....sorry to be so harsh but this is what i'm getting out of all of your posts and i feel like i'm wasting my time posting to anything you say because you A.) have an answer/excuse for everything and B.) you are not listening to anything any one says anyway.....you want the attention that you are getting and that's it......

uh...yeah she did...she dropped me b/c I wouldnt get a job or go to school...she was mean to me every week and made me cry...she said she couldnt help me anymore and that Day Treatment would be a better option for me.