new poems

[WickedEve]

Lauren and Angeline

When you two put your brains together it's messy, scary and produces great poetry.

 

[JUDO]

New - 1-06-03

A few that caught my eye. - Judo
---------------------------------------------------
The ups and downs of the chemical mind.

My bright fluorescences
just out of my eyes' reach,
my soft shadowed abyss
in mute whispers, beseech.

follow my manic road
by
silken_dreammaid©
---------------------------------------------------
An incredibly long work -- almost prose, but the sentiment is what got me. Could be retitled "Why Things Work."

she laid on the bed..."watch my show" she said
licking a finger..
...rubbing herself
licking more fingers
insertion all the while...leering at us
sighs...soft moans...she explored herself
her fingers...her toys...she displayed
all she was capable of..
the dreaded moment came

there
by
Savage Wolf©
---------------------------------------------------
This is not what we're looking for, but it's what we might find -- an incredible read.

a colourless
frozen reminder of texture,
and torn pages of countless novels
line the wall over our bed,
a chill sterility of words,
a chill sterility of us.

The Stylization of Self
by
Lauren.Hynde©

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Originally posted by WickedEve
When you two put your brains together it's messy, scary and produces great poetry.

Well

Oh wait... you said 'Brains'... nevermind...

 

[JUDO]

Re: Lauren and Angeline

When you two put your brains together it's messy, scary and produces great poetry.

Rats! Yet another list I must aspire to.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: New - 1-06-03

A few that caught my eye. - Judo
---------------------------------------------------
This is not what we're looking for, but it's what we might find -- an incredible read.

a colourless
frozen reminder of texture,
and torn pages of countless novels
line the wall over our bed,
a chill sterility of words,
a chill sterility of us.

The Stylization of Self
by
Lauren.Hynde©

Thank you, chicky. Nice ass

 

[JUDO]

Re: Re: New - 1-06-03

Thank you, chicky. Nice ass

Yeah, now if I could only get it to fit back in those pants!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Why would you want to do that?

 

[Angeline]

Lauren you are too sweet

Ange did much more than just seeing The Stylization of Self shortly before I submitted it. She helped me mold the idea into shape and without her help, the poem would have been quite different. She helped me focus. Like always.

Honey? You wrote the poem. You Wrote the poem.

 

[MyOpinion]

removed

 

[Angeline]

Re: Opi's Thank You

You're very welcome. Were you familiar with Piet Hein and, if not, did you see the link? A lot of your work here is in that vein I think. And this is good! Piet Hein was very cool!

 

[JUDO]

Hey! Who does Wednesdays? C'mon, get your minds out of the gutter and hands back on the keyboard and post the new stuff.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm always late on monday, but the prodding didn't hurt me none, Eve.


- Judo

 

[Rybka]

Not my day, but...

Hey! Who does Wednesdays? C'mon, get your minds out of the gutter and hands back on the keyboard and post the new stuff.
- Judo

There are only three new posts today; two by the same author. Of the three I prefer the one at the top of the list. Agony & Ecstasy mmmm *s* - by ethereal~minx ©, but I wish there were more from which to choose.

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[OT]

Resolutions already broken?

I'd admit to "doing Wednesdays", but without my lawyer present, I ain't say'n nuthin.

(BTW, day job tends to get in the way of early posting)

Three new poems today. (Five yesterday)
Me thinks the flood of new year's poetry has subsided.

None of the new begged to be singled out. That doesn't mean they are not worthy of a read. With so few, you might as well just go read them all.

 

[Guest]

clogged with poems

Geez... Sundragon sure has a freakin' huge amount of poems posted. I almost felt like I was being spammed when I went through the new poems list this morning.
--Xtaabay

 

[Angeline]

Xtaabay is right!

there are so many new poems today that they take up a screen and a half! I'm working my way through them and will post some picks I liked, but with this many I encourage others who read the new poems each day to post their picks as well. Mine won't be inclusive!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

LOL -- Well, I know someone who'll have a field day...

Today's list clearly has more poems than any single person can be asked to comment. 91 new poems, including 28 by Sundragon, ten by foxinsox, five by 03sp (including one 'E'), four by Svenskaflicka...



How do we do this?

 

[Natural Born Eros]

Could I be really cheeky and demanding and ask that someone has a look at my first poem? I've only posted stories here before, but I've written poems for my own enjoyment for years. I'm worried this one will get lost in the flood of new material...

Thanks in advance

Eros

PS - A special thanks to Angeline, who has made me actually start looking at the poetry section of this site.

 

[Angeline]

New Poems 1/09/03

I just--pant, pant, pant--read all 91--pant, pant--new poems. I feel like I just ran the Boston Marathon.

I will be commenting on the following poems:

Ivory Tower

Somewhere & Nowhere

Clouds of Iron

Wrapped Tight

Eating a Lemon

My Little Dog

Freeze-Dried Sonnet

Feeling Minnesota--2nd Chorus

Used

But first I need a break. I can't think straight. If anyone wants to comment on others or add comments on these, have at. I need a drink (and it's not 9 am yet).

 

[Angeline]

If you build it, they will come...

Natural Born Eros said:

Could I be really cheeky and demanding and ask that someone has a look at my first poem?

I sent you some feedback on your poem.

If you would like more critique, create a new thread and post your poem in it. We'll all crawl out of the woodwork and comment.

And welcome to the poetry board--nice to see you here!

 

[MyOpinion]

removed

 

[Guest]

glitches

I think the 'system' had a glitch for about 2 days. Poems were left pending most of Tuesday and Wednesday. Anyone know how to check on that?

Or Angeline was holding them all back to do a marathon!

I think you're right about that glitch. Yesterday I tried to log in and it said that all 52 of my posted works were there, but none were listed! It also said that my last submission was in December of 1969!!! So, perhaps, the whole system was just screwed up. I know there are still problems with the members search option (doesn't work). If that's any indication, there might be more poems to come.

--Xtaabay

 

[silken_dreammaid]

pending poems

Opi,
I do not know how you would find out if it was a system glitch.
I submitted one on Tuesday and one on Wednesday. The Tuesday one was held as pending, and both appeared today. It probably was a glitch.
Or maybe the system is non- denominational and decided to follow the Julian calendar and have a day off for Christmas.
silken.

 

[Angeline]

01/09/03

My picks for today. There were other poems on the list of 91 posted today that I liked, but these were my favorites:

Ivory Tower by silken_dreammaid

Do not build me
marbled walls,
to be set apart
in perceived perfection.

Set no cloth of gold
about my frame,
for I am nought
but your reflection.

The poem? Or the poet?

Here’s a little gem of a poem about academia that questions its “perfection.” Others here have written poems on this (myself among them), but I love the balance of this poem’s structure, which allows it to serve up the theme so nicely. The more I read it, the more polished it seems to me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhere & Nowhere by foxinsox

The people they are not now have it all
While they have frantic moments
Stuffed between cracks of reality
Somewhere is as good as nowhere
For all the good it does them.

foxinsox (whose name, being a Seuss fan, I love) has a passel of poems posted today. I really liked most of them, but this is my favorite. I love how vividly she imagines what the couple in the poem might have if only they weren’t in the real world. foxinsox, you struck a chord in me: imagining this is one of my favorite pastimes!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Clouds of Iron by 03sp

we peer at the sliver moon,
pretend to smoke tobacco and hooch,
pampering our delicates like cake icing
for licking then cleaning the beater bowl,
oh, what messy faces


A poet named 03sp
Whom I think is one known to me
Writes poems so divine
Intoxicating--like wine!
How come this one didn’t get an E?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wrapped Tight by AnelizeDarkEyes

put me under my blankie
wrap me in your arms
take me down into oblivion
where your voice is my only
charm

rhymes are for kids
said the magician
the wizard is hiding behind the curtain
running the show
with wheels and gears
you think HE knows the score?

what hides inside my head?

Anyone remember the book Future Shock by Alvin Toffler? It’s a sociological discourse on a postmodern technology-driven world where humans barely function because they’re over stimulated by too much change and many choices. This poem reminded me of the way I felt after I read it. Give me my blankie and soothe me! The poem has an ironic, sardonic, edgy nervousness that appeals to me--and I love the Wizard of Oz reference.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Eating a Lemon by ElvenAngel

A tantalisingly sensuous bite,
Cascading sap from the stem of passion
Crushing irregular bursts of light
As sparks of light swim in subdued fashion

Memories of desire, fading zest
Craving for the adventure I detest.

This is about a lemon, right? Strong imagery in this poem, which can be interpreted er a few ways. I like how it takes an everyday object and, in describing it, both exemplifies it and suggests it can be something more. It made me think, too, of Pablo Neruda’s Ode to a Lemon, one of his terrific elementary odes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Little Dog by tmt

When
Sitting lone not lonely
Does your brain become a little dog
Mine does
Chasing its' tail
Round and round
Sometimes I talk out loud
I used to fly
In some odd past life
Maybe we all did

What a cool quirky little poem this is. Just one great metaphor for the mind going on a wander and stumbling into a BIG THOUGHT. Keep the poems coming tmt: they’re wonderful!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Freeze-Dried Sonnet by Cordelia

As if the darkness of your eyes could show
a way for me to trap the voice of pain,
and set in amber life’s imbroglio
for me to hide, so only you remain.

Jars of my desire, well preserved –
formaldehyde-postponed in its allure,
patient in the hope that I’ve reserved
for packing up my soul, in honey-cure.

Cordelia does it again--another wonderful sonnet. Her choice of metaphor here--taxidermy as preservation of intangibles--is well supported with images that conjure up dusty stuffed foxes and insects in amber. Not a metaphor that would have occurred to me, but she makes it work beautifully, as usual. And look at those word choices! You’ve got to love a poet who can work “imbroglio” and “formaldehyle” into the same 14 lines!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feeling Minnesota--2nd Chorus by SavgeWolf

grizzly haired beard
gone astray mustache
worn black leather jacket
faded blue jeans
in cowboy boots I
stomp along
I've got secrets
many untold
some so secret I
don't even know them
sometimes I lose em'
like drops of rain
falling softly in mist
till day fades to black
and lights turn out
in my city

This poet generally writes much longer pieces, but the considerably shorter poem above is more effective, I think, because it presents one image so vividly drawn, that reading it feels like looking at a painting. And the irony of having secrets so secret that even their possessor doesn’t know them is delightful!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Used by DarlingNikki

Walking home alone the next morning
too smudged sullied sultry
for sunny muffin cafes and bicycles
but you smell so good in my hair

This is a great poem to compare with the one from SavgeWolf that precedes it here. They seem very similar to me for their brevity and singular visual power.

 

[Rybka]

2 4 2day

There certainly are a lot of new posts today. Of all the ones I liked here are two of the best (IMHO).
Comes Light by foxinsox ©, a nice pleasant thought for the day. f'nsox has several other works worth reading today.

And Stupidity Is Too Fast by MyOpinion ©. This one is very nice except for one typo. However I think I would switch the order of the middle two words in the title. And I wonder about a horse going 80 miles an hour? I presumed Opi was talking about ice boating, but maybe he means a snowmobile?

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[MyOpinion]

removed