new poems

[OT]

Thoughts on Thursday's New Poems

Seeing the many (and varied) takes on the same title is definitely worth a trip to the new poems page.

Usual prodding and reminder:
The only requirement for posting here is that you have an opinion. Really.
Oh, and although similar in so many ways... zoo rules do not apply.
Around here, you are encouraged to poke the poets (Vote and/or send feedback!)

Broken Blinds by Rybka
Broken Blinds by OT
Broken Blinds by Angeline
Broken Blinds by Lauren.Hynde
Broken Blinds by 03sp
Broken Blinds by MyOpinion
Broken Blinds by WickedEve
Broken Blinds by smithpeter
Broken Blinds by HomerPindar
Broken Blinds by silken_dreammaid
Broken Blinds by JUDO

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: Thoughts on Thursday's New Poems

Broken Blinds by Rybka
Broken Blinds by OT
Broken Blinds by Angeline
Broken Blinds by Lauren.Hynde
Broken Blinds by 03sp
Broken Blinds by MyOpinion
Broken Blinds by WickedEve
Broken Blinds by smithpeter
Broken Blinds by HomerPindar
Broken Blinds by silken_dreammaid
Broken Blinds by JUDO

One more:
=============================================


  broken blinds


        on our way
        from poland to the usa
        the family stopped
        wife kids parents brother
        for a few italian sunny months
        oh la-la-la
        in ancient rome

        now in my room
        it's just me and these broken venetian blinds


Senna Jawa
2003-01-23
 

 

[Senna Jawa]

belated thanks

I'd like to thank Rybka, Angeline, Lauren and Judo for kindly mentioning my poems in the "new poems" thread, and I thank Karma Dog for mentions in his "Freakin' good titles!" thread.

Talking about threads, it's a great pity that KD's excellent thread about poems outside Literotica is not active.

Best regards,

 

[Angeline]

now in my room
it's just me and these broken venetian blinds

It made me giggle. I like it.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I like it too! Senna, there's a new title for next week. If you want to join in again, check it out.

 

[Senna Jawa]

I like it too!

Thank you and Angeline. I am glad.

Senna, there's a new title for next week. If you want to join in again, check it out.

I couldn't find it, the title I mean. Also, requirements like "sign up in this thread" turn me off. I am phobic about and alergic to any formal thingies, procedural etc.

 

[Rybka]

Thank you and Angeline. I am glad.I couldn't find it, the title I mean. Also, requirements like "sign up in this thread" turn me off. I am phobic about and alergic to any formal thingies, procedural etc.

S.J. the thread is: Shadow Theater Challenge
The next title is "Shadow Theater". The only requirement is that we use that exact title and all submit on the same day. There is no required sign-up.


Regards,                       Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Friday 1/24/03

Well, I'm back from my daughter's "Winter Wonderland" concert. Artic Freezingland is more like it--you'd think with all the bodies packed together in the gym/auditorium (it's a gym with a stage--hard to explain), it would be warmer. Or with the damn tuition they charge they could afford to turn up the heat. And they alway put the band first. Know why? Cause it's torture and they know it, but they also know that if you're waiting for darling Johnny to come out and do his solo during the 4th-grade rendition of "Conjunction Junction," you'll sit through beginners' band torture.

But I digress.....

I liked today’s new poems. Lots of cool stuff. My gold medal pick of the day though is OT’s schmucked up truck (teehee--I really like saying that).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Ma’ma by *Snatch

You were always there for us,
your children.
Your Life.
You cared,
shared
dared
no one compared.
You listened
talked with
protected
as best you could.
You understood.
Oh ma'ma...

Read this loving memory from a daughter that sums up the many ways a mother loves her children. Betcha the author is a mom herself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Job by 03sp

seeing with my blindness
fingers tipped with caution
legs slightly parted
arms twisting when caught

unable to move
trapped in muscle
and bone
it's the old untwist puzzle

I love this poem. It offers the most delightfully ambiguous series of images of--well 03sp says it’s his job--but I think he really snuck off to play Twister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
just a truck by OT

how sad should I be
that my new blue truck
schmucked into a rail,
crumpling the bumper
back up and under
where it now nearly touches the tire

how blue should I be
that damage was done
to an honest machine
with no fault

And while 03sp was playing Twister, poor OT schmucked up his new blue truck (say that three times fast). This poem is just (and I know I’m gonna get an email for this, but I don’t care, lol) cute. I’m sorry OT, but it is. It’s yet another example of the delicious way you twist words and rhyme around thoughts. It would be a great poem just for your use of “schmucked” (which, frankly, means something so very different from what you’ve implied, but I love playing Twister with words, so I think it’s cool ). Oh--and we’re sorry about your truck, aren’t we girls? Let’s all hug OT. Is that better, OT honey?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Inner Child by fabmax

THE sea was black
The ice
Like spun candy
Out raw, exposed.
I relished in the
Bitter cold
WHich clipped my soul.

I looked into
Such an ominous sky
That both took my breath
Away
And froze the image
For me,
Forever, Permanant
With such a possessive
Grab.

This poem by fabmax has some stunning imagery, which--I think--itself stands as metaphor for imagery that one’s inner child holds onto and is, I suppose, compelled to recreate in art. And speaking of artistic, doesn’t fabmax have a fab profile pic?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As My Boyfriend Strokes by JUDO

"We can't touch." Our mutual yokes -
Me on the bed and he on a chair.
Ten feet of passion pulses through our air,
Working to cum as my boyfriend strokes.

Meanwhile, over at JUDO’s place…. Y’know the thing that makes JUDO‘s erotic poems--and I’ve thought about this--so terrific is the juxtaposition of primly perfect form and utterly naughty subject matter. And the line “Ten feet of passion pulses through our air” is perfection, IMHO--so full of imagery. What a delightful bad girl she is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do not… by silken_dreammaid

Do not call upon the moon,
night has never been my friend.
Do not rail against my fate,
for it was mine, not yours.
Do not linger with regrets,
they mean nothing to me now

I like the logic and steady progression toward the definitive conclusion of this poem.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I’m a mean movin moma by rainbow’s end

I’m gonna soft shoe on your shoulders
A little cha cha cha cha on your chest
By the time I finish baby
You’ll be beggin at me for a rest

Cause I’m a mean movin moma shakin your stuff
Yes I’m a mean movin moma its still not enough

I hear music! Rainbow’s end is a new poet here--this is her second post. I love her strong voice and the blues rhythm I hear in this poem.

 

[OT]

Thanks Angeline, for the mention and the hugs, and even the giggling.

The "cute" remark I'll file away for future payback, along with someone else's suggestion that wooden-head would look good as a crash-test dummy.

Schmucking a boy's toy is serious stuff. (hmmm, that sounds like it could be a line in Judo's offering... )

 

[JUDO]

Re: Friday 1/24/03

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As My Boyfriend Strokes by JUDO

"We can't touch." Our mutual yokes -
Me on the bed and he on a chair.
Ten feet of passion pulses through our air,
Working to cum as my boyfriend strokes.

Meanwhile, over at JUDO’s place…. Y’know the thing that makes JUDO‘s erotic poems--and I’ve thought about this--so terrific is the juxtaposition of primly perfect form and utterly naughty subject matter. And the line “Ten feet of passion pulses through our air” is perfection, IMHO--so full of imagery. What a delightful bad girl she is.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for reading and recognizing, Angie. Besides, it's much more fun than Twister.

 

[Cordelia]

I feel I must mention...

I wish I had more time to be reliable in reading new poems (and old poems!) and in posting feedback.

I must mention, however, these fine poems. They made my morning. Thanks, guys.

Five Strophs by Angeline


cicada hum by WickedEve

In a poetic haze,




Cordelia

 

[Angeline]

Thanks Cordie

for the mention of Five Strophs. I came to the board right from a publication rejection notice and was bummed. Your comment cheered me up. Now eat some soup, go back to bed, and rest!

 

[WickedEve]

Thank you, Cordelia. That was just a little quickly inspired by my long wait for my custody hearing.

 

[Rybka]

New Poems of 1/26/03

I start today by recommending a story. Lynn by Dude6729 © received a truly well deserved "E". It is both literate and erotic. Besides, it doesn't hurt to be a football story on Superbowl Sunday.

Back to the business at hand; there are 15 new submissions on the New Poetry list, including two same named (except for case) by Wicked Eve and 03sp. Both are well worth reading (as is usual for both authors), but isn't it blatantly cheating to practice like this? Maybe they need to handicapped in the up-coming contest? Like being forced to write with one hand tied behind their backs?

oxalis has several offerings today. I found because, if I did to be the most interesting.

she would never talk to me again
would drive her car all over me
pinch my head
join me to the Klan
poke my condoms
hide my briefs
set fire to my briefs
on me running, call them
"suitcases of manhood"
cheat on me
and my truck and my camper
and the boat I'm looking at
in the pool and on the deck

it's what happens

So very true. As is the author's final comment.

silken_dreammaid gives us
Omnipotent Cricket.

A lone cricket sounds
and the sun falls.
Oblivious he keeps on,
chirping in each star
that appears above.
The moon rises with
his persistent song.
...

I love this kind of poem, and it is well done. Except I am not happy with "chittering".

Finally I would mention Opi's work, but I don't cite poems that do not allow voting.



Regards,                       Rybka

 

[Guest]

we each have three hands in common

Eve and I cooperate and coagulate occasionally.
Our planed work is not connected to any other but our each our own by agreement and friendship.

 

[oxalis]

Re: New Poems of 1/26/03

oxalis has several offerings today. I found because, if I did to be the most interesting.

Thanks dude!!

 

[Angeline]

Dear 03sp:


you coagulate? lol. you two scare me sometimes. actually you do more, but i like you both, heehee.

 

[Dude6729]

Hello

Hello everyone i saw my story listed here and thank you all i try hard in my writing

 

[JUDO]

Re: Hello

Hello everyone i saw my story listed here and thank you all i try hard in my writing

Thanks, Dude, for sharing your first post with us. Welcome to the boards!


- Judo

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I never got to do Saturday's reviews like I was supposed to, so thanks, Cordelia.

I'll find a way of reviewing twice this week. What were the days left open? Tuesdays and thursdays?

 

[WickedEve]

Re: New Poems of 1/26/03

Back to the business at hand; there are 15 new submissions on the New Poetry list, including two same named (except for case) by Wicked Eve and 03sp. Both are well worth reading (as is usual for both authors), but isn't it blatantly cheating to practice like this? Maybe they need to handicapped in the up-coming contest? Like being forced to write with one hand tied behind their backs?

I like to eat fish. This statement should either scare you or give you a cheap thrill.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: we each have three hands in common

Eve and I cooperate and coagulate occasionally.
Our planed work is not connected to any other but our each our own by agreement and friendship.

It's one thing to make a woman wet, but it's something else to cause coagulation.

 

[Rybka]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Rybka
...there are 15 new submissions on the New Poetry list, including two same named (except for case) by Wicked Eve and 03sp... isn't it blatantly cheating to practice like this? Maybe they need to handicapped in the up-coming contest? Like being forced to write with one hand tied behind their backs?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Orignially posted by Wicked Eve
I like to eat fish. This statement should either scare you or give you a cheap thrill.

Maybe I should have said "kneecapped"!

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[WickedEve]

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Rybka
...there are 15 new submissions on the New Poetry list, including two same named (except for case) by Wicked Eve and 03sp... isn't it blatantly cheating to practice like this? Maybe they need to handicapped in the up-coming contest? Like being forced to write with one hand tied behind their backs?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Maybe I should have said "kneecapped"!

Regards,                       Rybka

crunch, crunch, crunch... eating bones and all. Oh, what a tasty fish. lol

 

[JUDO]

New - 01-27-03

A few that caught my eye. - Judo
---------------------------------------------------
Yes, there are errors and it's too wordy, more prose than poetry, but I love the sharp focus of this painting. Say "hello" to this first-time poet.

I try not to watch as you lie on the futon and pull on your clothes or lack of clothes.
Black thong, black bra, and a low cut dress barely there that shows both.
You were beautiful when I first saw you. Happy and worry free. The love of my life
Now I don’t even know you, a stranger in my bed.


Amanda My dark former love.
by
Alex756©
---------------------------------------------------
Unsnap. Unzip. Un-stop.

Touch your waist. Without words.
From behind. Reach around.
Unsnap. Unzip. No hurry.


denim desire
by
OT©
---------------------------------------------------
First in a series

Tree-ku 1
by
Angeline©
---------------------------------------------------
Wonderful imagery, Angie, but I missed something. It was as though you panned your camera from the kitchen to the yard, but I didn't know why. Did I need to?

The Queen Anne’s lace was too pretty
to mow--its delicate stalks and ruffled
leaves and its shadowed roots thrived
like me, half-hid by the rusty fence
next to Mrs. Kurth’s garden.

One Window Then: Hobart Avenue
by
Angeline©
---------------------------------------------------
O3sp feeling too much like the master, and just what the heck is "slide enabled" anyhow?

you are in the room, you are graceful
and slide enabled

lust changing chords
by
03sp©
---------------------------------------------------