new poems

[Maria2394]

Re: New Poems on 12/28/03

There are 18 new submissions on this Sunday after Christmas, and I bring one "Goldie" as always.

For today's Oldie I cheated. Since Wicked Eve has been threatening to leave us and take her poetry with her, I decided to show you a sample of what we would be missing. - What she thinks need polishing. So here is a Wicked Eve work from this November. All the earlier ones are already gone.
Of the 18 new poems few stand out above the others. No new poets catch my eye today, and the efforts of most of our regulars smack of post holiday lethargy. Their offerings are worth reading, but not among their best works. It is a disappointing day, this last Sunday of the year.
In fact I have chosen to comment on only one poem and I even have unsettled feelings about it. Perhaps it is me, not the rest of the world, that is experiencing a let-down.

Maria2394 has written a prose poem I suppose. In a sense, it reminds me of my Maui Jim piece. I enjoyed reading Maria's piece, but almost at once felt that it was someone talking to me; not as Frost's "You come too.", but certainly not like someone writing or reciting a story. It is more personal and interesting than that, but at the same time almost too common and chummy in speech pattern for my taste. It reminds me of an elderly schoolmarm talking to an old friend (or a therapist).
I like this piece and I recommend it, but I never could have published it as written. It is either too revealing of self or superficial, and I do not think the latter.
Regards,                 Rybka

Thank you Dear Rybka for the very honest review. I knew it wasnt perfect and actually, I posted today so that YOU would tell me what you thought...I hate when people say, oh dear, thats nice, especially when I know it isnt as good as it could be.

I intended the tone to be the way it is though, revealing of self, and that you picked up on that is what I wanted, for all readers to do that, think about what it means to be human and to be taught fear... I loved my mom, today is the second anniversary of her passing and i am not afraid of things the way I used to be...

I will rework this one, I think it has potential, in a way, and I do appreciate your remarks. I also thought the formatting was inappropriate, it looked good when I submitted, now I just dont know!!!

anyway, thanks again, and have a great day maria

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: New Poems on 12/28/03

Silver Linings by Senna Jawa

It's singular:


                Silver Lining


Thank you, Rybka, for including this link in your list, regards,

 

[Angeline]

12/29 This space reserved

to review a few poems today for darkmaas, who I happen to know has a "bad code in da nose" (no no, not a building code, a head cold), and there's a ton of new poems today (and he did those challenges, too!).

I'll be back with a few recommendations. C'mon you lurkers and regs--help him out!

darkmaas, go to bed!
______________________________
And my reviews--

Seasonal greetings and salutations you poets, lurkers, whatever. Just when you thought you were safe from Angeline reviews, I turn up like a bad uh Christmas carol, something, I dunno. And why? Well darkmaas, a man who has slogged through many a poem in good temper is ill. So much so apparently that he came on Yahoo and instead of our usual disagreeings and recriminations (lol. hi darkmaas. ), he groaned and left.

So let's start off with the poets' coffee klatch:

1. darkmaas, get well soon
2, Wicked Eve, many happy returns. Fool is waiting for you with a paddle in another thread.
3. Perks, Bon Chance quacky baby.
4. Tess, Happy Arbor Day
*************************************
ok poems. There are many many new poems today. You should have a look through them and do vote and comment. These are my very favorites, but there are quite a few posted today and, trust me, something for everyone.

Water from the Womb by Denis Hale. See this

making a racket like ice cubes
in a ghost-fisted highball tumbler
rattled by delirium tremens.

Wow, huh? Read the whole thing.
___________________________
An other Sonnet by jthserra

I don't know the poet this poem addresses, but I love its twists and turns through iambic technique and how she rejects it. The image of the mummified Petrarch is a hoot.
___________________________
kleinelfe is a new poet to Lit. She posted two poems today, and I preferred me the mermaid. It needs some pruning, imo, but this writer has a real sense of image.

the night´s here
heavy, like soft
tissue
like me
my skin,
can you feel me
I´m soft,
I´m waves, I´m water
___________________________
I love annaswirls' poetry. She has such a fluent voice, and writes with insight and subtlety. She has two new poems today and both are really good, but I liked Sidewalk best. Time passes in the same space and a familial relationship shifts, but goes on. I think this one's my favorite today.
___________________________
The cake guy, Icingsugar, is one passionate pastry. There is a musical quality to his poetry that is somehow at once simple and sophisticated. He's still on a Spree (well a Spree 3). Just read this poem and you'll see that what's her face is one lucky mama.
___________________________
Annawirls has a great public comment about smithpeter's poem footnotes, which I think gets at the heart of his unique talent.

SmithPeter,
something about your poetry reminds me not to look to hard, that the meaning IS the feeling
like buying a sweater with your fingers not your eyes.

Yes, that's it--the impressionistic quality of his poetry speaks volumes.
___________________________
Finally, I want to mention the poignant-sexy a little left of love by Maria2394. She has a great gift, does our buddy Maria, and she displays it yet again in this poem.

There are other poems I could mention, but I'll leave it to others to pick up the slack. Happy reading everyone.

Peace,
Ange

 

[Icingsugar]

Re: 12/29 This space reserved

to review a few poems today for darkmaas, who I happen to know has a "bad code in da nose" (no no, not a building code, a head cold), and there's a ton of new poems today (and he did those challenges, too!).

Yea, I guess we owe the old camper something, eh?

So, I bring you three (ok four) for now. There were more goodies today, but hey, I'll leave some for the rest of you too.

First a debutant, SummerMorning, who brings us a short poem with a very very short title: I. It is raw, beefy and sexy. I like it.

Second, annaswirls is at it again with two poems. While I reacted strongest to December 26th for it's bittersweet, or rather sweetbitter message, I found that the qualities of Sidewalk grew for each read. It is not as emotional, but a more well put together poem, a contemplative piece that really set my gears in motion. Read 'um both. 'um both good.

Aaaaand third. Angeline's Blue Highway Singing seems to speak a different language to different readers. I was hooked on the road/train movement, and when I read it to Lin, she was hooked on the music theme behind it. Well, a good read either way.


DM, if you read this, now is a perfect time for that nog, ya hear?

 

[Rybka]

Re: 12/29 This space reserved

. . . there's a ton of new poems today . . .
I'll be back with a few recommendations. C'mon you lurkers and regs--help him out!

darkmaas, go to bed!

Well, Denis belts another one out of the dark park and jthseera does very well too.
There are a lot of fine contributions today, which I am sure others will bring forward.
I was struck by a phrase of our relatively new poet annaswirls,

. . .
we were walking through . . .
air wet with a promise of rain,
through the mist of a cloud who had forgotten how to fly--

I have already stolen this image and put it in my notebook of phrases.

Go read Sidewalk by annaswirls and give it the 5 it deserves.

(I still want to breed Anna to Denis and raise a bunch of Uber-poets.)

Regards, Rybka

 

[darkmaas]

darkmaas rises from his deathbed...

... and finds fifty poems. There was a time when a fifty poem day was ... well ... worth rolling out the best single malt. These days it's only above average. We are blessed.

Thanks Angeline, Icingsugar and Rybka. I'm fading fast ...

 

[Guest]

I will do my part.....all that Rybka said plus Spree 3 by Icingsugar. A scrambly, sexy play with words.

I'll also mention firegoddess who's been on her knees too long.
accidental kink and Bloodlust are the best I've read so far.

 

[Rybka]

Another poem worth mentioning, while Darkmaas stumbles off to get drunk as a skunk on dew and berries, is Icingsugar's marvelous alliterative play with words. (Which I see has already been done above.)
I find it all the more amazing when poets like Ice and his lady Lin, not to mention SJ or the Portu-Princess, write so well in a non-native language. We are so lucky that people with such remarkable abilities share them with us.

Spree 3

drunk as a skunk
on dew and berries
on you and Merry
Christmas carols
choruses carry
me home again

jagged jumbled
illucid I lay
blowing bubbles
of champagne
and of chardonnay
and of me and you
our spit combined
tongues entwined

a silly sparkle
spunky salute,
sung in a major minor
mish-mash key
crashing from tongue
and your blood red lips
glued to my skin
into the marrow of me

wit and charm shut down
eloquence fled
elegance dead
no need for those
in elusive intoxication
of hair and rush and care
push, pull, plea, breath
shapes and textures
heat and beat and
definitive defeat

we resonate, so resolute
incoherent, incredibly
incomprehensible
in complete harmony
incoming, incoming
coming closer, colliding
coexisting, sliding
slippery on top of me
scripting a trail
of strawberry flavoured
saliva over still, somehow,
summer tanned skin

so compact
such contact
a cool-off caress
blowing bubbles
of champagne
a beautiful mess
giggling gushes
of afterglow giddy
afternoon excess

 

[Maria2394]

weird, but when I checked the new poems this morning around 6:30, there were only six..I didnt check again till I saw what was said on here...sorry ..didnt know they were there

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Same thing happened to me, M.
It was just the weekly audio upload, I guess.

 

[eagleyez]

Re: darkmaas rises from his deathbed...

... and finds fifty poems. There was a time when a fifty poem day was ... well ... worth rolling out the best single malt. These days it's only above average. We are blessed.

Thanks Angeline, Icingsugar and Rybka. I'm fading fast ...

hope you feel better quick

 

[Maria2394]

anyone who doesnt read the new ones today outta be kicked in th e groin, I mean it!! I read annas first, then angelines and then denis and had to stop....<clutches heart>

 

[firegoddess76]

Thank you so very much!!!

I'll also mention firegoddess who's been on her knees too long.
accidental kink and Bloodlust are the best I've read so far. [/B]

Oh thank you! It is so nice to finally see myself on here, mentioned by someone other than me!!!


*Standing now, though a bit shaky*

I will remember this day!!!

 

[*Catbabe*]

anyone who doesnt read the new ones today outta be kicked in th e groin, I mean it!! I read annas first, then angelines and then denis and had to stop....<clutches heart>

Uh oh

I had no idea Maria was the violent type


Backing slowly outta the thread off to read and vote on new poems.

 

[echoes_s]

My god, how does everyone keep up with all the poems AND posts!? Nevermind anything else?
I am truely trying

 

[jthserra]

Three poems...

Immediately grabbed my attention, and then made me sad:

The Concise Feeling of Rejection

Where Does Steel Go to Be Strong


Both titles immediately grabbed me, I clicked on the link looking for something special. Both then kind of faded for me. The first wandered into telling me how the poet feels this concise feeling, rather than making me feel this feeling. The second slipped away too. With such wonderful titles I hoped for more.


walk thru winter for my Lover...

Also had an excellent title, and a first line that really grabbed me:

"the wind breezes it's icy claws through my hair"

after that it quickly went away.


All three of these are great poems waiting to be written (rewritten). I think, inspired by these three excellent beginnings, I will go back through some of my older poems and see if I can improve them.


jim

 

[annaswirls]

feeding my soul

First—many thanks for mentioning my poems and your supportive words. You have made me feel very welcome here…
.
Well, I am still not certain of the unstated norms or even rules on this board, I still claim the virgin defense, but I am going to post this little announcement anyway—I figure if I fuck up on social standards might as well do it on a page where a girl wearing safety glasses is getting cum sprayed on her face oh my.


This past week, I was invited to stand and speak to a large group of people on the topic of how I feed my soul. First of all, let me thank you for giving me such a feast on a daily basis….. but mainly, I found Maria’s poem

feeding the winter solstice


soon after I was given this assignment, and it fit perfectly into my talk. Not only with the content of her beautiful testament, but in the respect that this place seems to be a safe haven for souls who may have been shoved around a bit (?) I would not have expected to feel so nourished here or anywhere really….

(Dang is it the season, why I am so fucking sentimental this week???)

Okay but honestly, thank you again, Maria, for allowing me to share your poem, and thank you, all for putting your souls out there for me to nibble upon. I hope you do not mind. They are so so tasty.

yum

AS

 

[Rybka]

Re: feeding my soul

. . .
Well, I am still not certain of the unstated norms or even rules on this board, I still claim the virgin defense, but I am going to post this little announcement anyway—I figure if I fuck up on social standards might as well do it on a page where a girl wearing safety glasses is getting cum sprayed on her face oh my.
. . .
AS

AS, there are very few rules and/or norms on this board. Generally we just try to be honest and non-personal when commenting on another's work. But a few of us don't even bother to abide by that common sense rule.

So just jump in whenever you feel like it; try to avoid obscenity and negative personal comments, (You can be as suggestive as you want. - This is a Literotica site after all!) and beyond that your voice is as strong as anyone elses'.

Regards, Rybka

 

[Icingsugar]

Thanks Rybka and Tess for the recommendation od my latest Spree. And great thanks for the comments and feedback. It warms on those chilly days. (I could had replied individually, but I know y'all read this thread Hugs to each and everyone)

Some of you have asked me about the "Spree" titles, and how the three so far differ in style and quality. The answer is that they don't have that much in common, except for the way they are written. I usually chisel my stuff slowly and regurgitate it alot. Those are not like that. They are written in short, hectic bursts. Writng sprees. They tend to get a bit of a high-tempo feel to them, but I don't aim for that, or for anything. Next Spree might be something entirely different.

cheers!
/Ice

 

[smithpeter]

seems like days ago

Angeline,
Thank you for mentioning my recent poem and the nice remark by AS. I have not been hanging around so much these days. Sorry about that.

It’s getting that time of year again when I recommend a film I saw about this time 360 or so days ago.
The Fast Runner .
I know, unrelated to anything.
Best to all!

sp

 

[Angeline]

Re: seems like days ago

Angeline,
Thank you for mentioning my recent poem and the nice remark by AS. I have not been hanging around so much these days. Sorry about that.

It’s getting that time of year again when I recommend a film I saw about this time 360 or so days ago.
The Fast Runner .
I know, unrelated to anything.
Best to all!

sp

My pleasure, dear man. Lovely poem.

Happy New Year, Mista SP.

 

[firegoddess76]

OMG!!!!

People, hugs to you all! I just received feedback from a visitor! She said that she saw a segment about Lit on techtv!!! Woohoo!!! And she liked my stuff to boot! Anyone else hear from this sweet lady (Julie is her name!)
Everyone enjoy your holiday, get yourselves kissed and here's one from me!!!

 

[Angeline]

Re: OMG!!!!

People, hugs to you all! I just received feedback from a visitor! She said that she saw a segment about Lit on techtv!!! Woohoo!!! And she liked my stuff to boot! Anyone else hear from this sweet lady (Julie is her name!)
Everyone enjoy your holiday, get yourselves kissed and here's one from me!!!

Congrats sweetie and back atcha!

 

[Angeline]

12/31

I was just reading new poems and wanted to recommend Obituary by a new poet, Arkontheroof. I found it full of sophisticated ideas presented simply, but with such voice--really insightful and so moving. This is Ark's first poetry post at Lit, and he doesn't have public comments turned on. If you have time, read this wonderful poem, vote, and send him feedback.

And best wishes to all for a safe and happy night tonight and a beautiful peaceful new year.

Angeline

 

[echoes_s]

So well intentioned.....
I thought to myself, ok, Darkmaas is wrought and tied to his bed ill, Rybka swam away from all the hooks hung out for New Years Dinner. Myself being a well brought up Lurker and an hour to spare might try and give a hand with poems for today...uhmm right!
There were a few I didn't understand (of course that being me) a couple the titles didn't make sense to me.
I read some well known ones which I did like and understand, but remembering comments about unknown and new poets, put them aside and went on until I read Denis Hales poem "Stuck On You"...(now I don't know how to do the title and link with title at same time, but you do have to read this!) http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=122617
On the other side, a very sad poem, but well written to me by Arkontheroof "Obiturary" http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=122701
then there was "Dear Christine" from Icingsugar

Come on, many excellent poems today ask to be read, beautiful!
If I can do this...then you definately can!