new poems

[Lauren Hynde]

Only a few new poems posted today (unless there are still more to come) so you might as well read them all: New Poetry

Still, some that caught my attention:

-------------------------------------------------
different live$

a new life is made between the sheets
a life is worth a pile of money
how big a pile of money?

[...]

and

Sweet Angels
by Senna Jawa ©

don't know no violence
they work hard
they've sold their private cars
for the cause

[...]

Not your average Senna--both of them maybe a little too preachy for my taste--, but technically irreprehensible, like always. Read and send feedback.

-------------------------------------------------
The Sound of Jazz
by tailwind1913 ©

Sexily,
Slowly,
Sleepily,
Seductively drowning in a sea of
Rhythmatic,
Dynamic,
Orgamsic Notes.
[...]

New poet. Make her feel welcomed and send feedback. I think it has potential--a case for Angeline the Poetry Girl?

-------------------------------------------------
simply Blues
by silken_dreammaid ©

by silken_dreammaid ©
Whispers of splintered blues
quiver, seeking the mate
that paints on living page
with a brush of soul.

[...]

Another very good swinging effort by one of the best poets out there. I love the last stanza (follow the link).

-------------------------------------------------

 

[OT]

There are a number of new ones today. Too many for a thorough reading.
(darn day job gets in the way sometimes )
I scanned briefly . Here are a few that caught me attention for one reason or another.

Don't be afraid to jump in with your picks or comments.


-------

How can you not like something with the line:
"So take the chill off your chili and cha cha cha!"

The most interesting read of the day goes to

Tea's Bridesmaid by Cordelia

----------

I think she's a new poet; She offered up several.

"accident of retail" is just great!

"Accident of retail
Shampoo and soap and
Hot water on my skin
All of this scented
Lavender "

Lavender Girl by Magnolia13

----------

Because she used the line
"It doesn’t matter anyway" in a poem about an Atom.

Atomic Muse by Angeline

----------

Silken may soon usurp SP as most prolific.

"That is not my moon." is one of those lines that hit home.

my moon by silken_dreammaid

----------

 

[Angeline]

Thank you OT!

Because she used the line
"It doesn’t matter anyway" in a poem about an Atom.

And on purpose, too!
~~~~~~~~~~

I also loved Cordelia's poem as well as the new stuff from Magnolia13, particularly the one you posted, Lavendar Girl.

Here's one I thought was terrific. Some wonderful images of the confusion of a mind grasping at ideas to understand what went wrong. Is there anyone who hasn't done this a few times?

My Loss by ennui01

Alone I am, and alone I will be.
Someday, maybe, someone for me?
I want, but do not, but I do and I don’t.
The chaos reigns inside, with the fear.

The thunder of my silent heart.
The flashing of my blind, dead eyes.
The past holds my soul, the present my form.

You loved me as I was and were.
I loved you most for that?
I do not know, so many reasons to choose.

 

[Cordelia]

Thanks!

OT and Angeline,

Thanks for the mention. I must admit that Tea's Bridesmaid was the most fun I have ever had writing a poem. One of these days when real-world work slows up, I will post a thread on how I wrote that poem. It is a fun exercise that really flexes the poetry muscles. (Angeline...please remind me to do that soon...?)

And, Ang? I thought Atomic Muse was incredible! Appealed to the word-lover in me, as well as to my love of physics and mathematics.

I also enjoyed Magnolia13's poems and I loved 03sp'sDesert Poem.


Basking in words,



Cordelia

 

[Magnolia13]

thanks!

Thank you for all the nice things to say. Forgive me for not having a clue about navigating this site yet, I am still learning my way about. I look forward to reading more of everyone's work and didn't even know this page was available until I got feedback from O.T. Thanks for the inadvertant lead, my dear.

 

[Cordelia]

I am not sure who is reviewing new poems, but I must mention a few delights I found in today's choices.

First is The sun shone for me today by silken_dreammaid.

Another fine poem by one of my favorite poets. In addition to the juicy line:
Beneath the twilight of red vintage wine...
She has a delightful ababa rhyme scheme that adds to the tender sentiments and weather images.

***************

Slender Seeing by WickedEve

Lovely. I adore reading erotic poems like this. Just a hint... a taste...

***************

Wayward Letters by 03sp

I slapped my forehead when, in reading this delightful poem, I realized who 03sp is. Okay... I am still new and tentative. Sorry. This poem caused me to laugh spontaneously and alert my children that fun was being had without them.

***************

candy eating girl by eliza_ezra

I am not exactly sure what this poem is about, but it made for compelling reading all the same. Begins with the intriguing line, "three hours from disarmed sleeping" (warning: typos).

***************

Sisyphus' Self-Portrait by JUDO

Such delicious imagery! Just read it...

***************

There were a couple submissions by moonkatt may have been worth a read, but I had a difficult time getting past the numerous typos. But there is potential there...


Dropping in my two cents and not waiting for change,



Cordelia

(edited to take out embarrassing misspellings)

 

[WickedEve]

1/30/03

The following are excerpts from today's new poems. Please click on the link in the title to read the entire poem.

Today has an E poem. That stands for Editor's Choice.
The Dungeon
by _kara_ ©

The heart and mind racing, the strong male smell,
a blind fold placed across the eyes,
a hand twisting in the hair,
pulled to the knees by the hand,
a whispered “ouch” from the lips,
the head pulled back as lips force down,
the tongue probes the mouth,
sinking deep into the throat,
the male smell so strong almost evil,

----------------

Here's a poem by one of my favorite new poets.
The sun shone for me today
by silken_dreammaid ©

The sun shone for me today.
Its warmth caressed in gentle touch
chasing the dawn chill away.
Light strewn by the carefree nonesuch
in his delight of awakening play.

-------------------

This would be nice for a Valentine Card.
If....I Loved You
by rainbows end ©

Whispers of rain
On the horse chestnut leaves
River that twines
And twists as it weaves

------------------------

2 of my favorites for the day:
Sisyphus' Self-Portrait
by JUDO ©

Sketch marks haunt the edge of my eye line;
Some gouged into the canvas texture.
Some jessoed over so many times
The material fades, but cracks remain.


black cave begin
by 03sp ©

degrees of loneliness,
rungs of a creaking
wooden ladder
aimed down to gray
with splintered tip

-----------------------

And last but not least...

Wayward Letters
by 03sp

Aimed at bottoms
of dangling small characters.

g's and y's, p's
below the lines

 

[WickedEve]

Slender Seeing by WickedEve

Lovely. I adore reading erotic poems like this. Just a hint... a taste...

Thank you, Dear!

 

[Cordelia]

Thank you, Dear!

You are most welcome! Thank you for the poem...

I hope I didn't step in on your day to review, Eve. Though, now that my day job is slowing to a manageable level, I can take a day. Which day is free for being the designated reviewer?

(And, yes, I know I can post comments about any new poem any time...)

Please let me know if I can step in.

Tentatively,




Cordelia

 

[WickedEve]

I don't know who was suppose to do today. But since it was late I thought I'd do it and I'm glad you did too. It's more interesting to have two reviews. I like to compare. I see that we both like silken dreammaid.

 

[OT]

The idea of the designated reviewer was to make sure *at least someone* poked this thread every now and then.

Never hesitate to boldly check in with a picks or opinions.

As Eve said, it's interesting to compare.

 

[Guest]

Eve

You are too kind,
especially to me,
Thank you,

 

[JUDO]

Thank you, Cords and Wicked. Sisyphus would have bowed.



- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Eve

You are too kind,
especially to me,
Thank you,

If you look a few posts up you'll see that Cordelia also had something to say about your wayward letters.

Yes, I am too kind to you. I must stop that.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

January 31st, 2003

Just thought I'd give Ange a help today and leave her to comment on the Shadow Theatre poems. I'll take the rest of the new poetry list:

-------------------------------------------------
Hoofin' Beat Fo' Dah Masses
by JUDO ©

Heel-toe steel bustin' up the floor
To an inner beat that cries for more.
In on the flim-flam, dancin' in a new jam
Flyin' off the screws, jammin' to the blues.

[...]

A presto indeed. You can't help but rush through it with a swing 'n' a beat. Yeah, baby! I love it!

-------------------------------------------------
peppermint cold
by Magnolia13 ©

Peppermint cold
I hold my tongue
until I am forced to speak
or scream.
[...]

Magnolia13 posted a few short poems today, some better than others, but all worth a read.

-------------------------------------------------
Mike and Jane
by yumfun ©

Mike couldn't believe his eyes
the girl who made him fantasize
was lying naked with legs spread wide
out in the natural countryside

[...]

and

My First Dirty Limerick
by eduardo19556 ©

I have to write you a poem
Of girls so nice you should know’em
They were all so sweet
Though they lived on the street
There wasn’t a pimp that could show ‘em

[...]

For a lighter fun read. First poems posted by both of them.
-------------------------------------------------
Pay Attention
by MercyMia ©

pay attention
to the words
they will bring you
gifts

[...]

Enough said.
-------------------------------------------------

 

[JUDO]

Re: January 31st, 2003

-------------------------------------------------
Hoofin' Beat Fo' Dah Masses
by JUDO ©

Heel-toe steel bustin' up the floor
To an inner beat that cries for more.
In on the flim-flam, dancin' in a new jam
Flyin' off the screws, jammin' to the blues.

[...]

A presto indeed. You can't help but rush through it with a swing 'n' a beat. Yeah, baby! I love it!

-------------------------------------------------

TY, my satin doll. I saw Savion Glover dance yesterday. Un-fucking-believable! I'm still inspired today. The man is pure genius.

 

[Angeline]

1/31 The Non Shadow Poems

There was one non-Shadow Theater Poem that I adored and must comment on here. I'm sure those of you who know me and my incessant jazzbabble won't be surprized to hear that it is JUDO's poem:

Hoofin' Beat Fo' Dah Masses
by JUDO ©
---------- a presto -----------

Heel-toe steel bustin' up the floor
To an inner beat that cries for more.
In on the flim-flam, dancin' in a new jam
Flyin' off the screws, jammin' to the blues.

Coltrane runnin' red down the block,
Trippin' over sixteenths countin' down the clock.
Feets a-keep movin', heart strikes a groove in
Everybody's pelvis, cold rockin' like Elvis.

Shock, dismay! Hip, hip, hip, hooray!
Yeah, break a rule! Keep it flowin' real cool!
Should we call in for the policeman's order?
What do we do when we do down in the Quarter?

Black night flashin' in a moon haze glow
Puddles splashin' as we kick up the show.
A line of butt jigs getting' out the strut
Fly through the air without a vain care.

Troops a-hoofin' grow tighter every minute
Can't we just get you to join us in it?
Get off the ground and leap over the bound
Of beat 'n' phrase soarin', it never gets borin'.

Pack up, ya'll. Come move with us,
Just join in the reverie, you'll see
The light in the eyes of those who bring witness
We're nobody's fool and nobody's business

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I copied the whole thing cause I loved it so much. This poem is good in so many ways, I have to list them.

1. It fits the form perfectly. The easy reason--get that out of the way first.

2. The imagery fits the subject without missing a--dare I say it--beat. (lol). When the images are accurate and consistent the reader can suspend disbelief. That is to say that you can almost forget you're sitting in your den (well if you're me you are) with a bunch of laundry to fold, and instead are on some street in Harlem listening to tappers tap and voices play the dozens. Which leads me to my next point.

3. As Lauren pointed out, this poem swings--to quote Ella Fitz "I hear music!" I think about this alot in my jazz poems: how do you choose language that puts a certain sound in the reader's head? JUDO has it goin on here, and if you want an education in how to do so just look at the verbs she uses--they swing insouciently (dig that, JUDO-doll).

4. Then she has those sneaky jazz/blues references--oh you can't fool me--I know where you got "nobody's business," "feets a-movin," and more.

5. The last two lines in the poem are killer, not only because of the reasons listed above, but because they hint ("bring witness" "nobody's fool") at the pain that birthed this art form--as it did blues and jazz. Still this is not a sad poem--it's absolutely joyful. And bringing joy out a history of suffering is, as musicians from Muddy Waters to Big Joe Turner have said, what the blues is all about.

P.S. I've seen Savion dance a few times--he is fantastic!

And now on to the main event.

 

[Guest]

Once in a while a poem gives me shivers......JUDO's did.

It's great, thanks, J.

GP

 

[Rybka]

Get Well Quick!!

I am sorry to read that you are not feeling like yourself S.J. I am certain that I speak for all the regulars here when I wish you well and rapidly back to your normal irascible self.

YOU LIKED A HAIKU THAT I WROTE?

GOD! You must be sicker than I first thought! I hope it is nothing fatal or [God forbid!] chronic. Please, please, please, give us back our very own acerbic Senna Jawa! I don't know what to do with a friendly one.

As an aside, I liked your submission to the 5 level, as I most often do. - I thought Judo's terzanelle the best of the very good.

Regards,                       Rybka

DANG! This should be in the other thread, But the board won't let me delete it.

 

[Angeline]

A shadow of my former self...

is what I am after ploughing through these Shadow Theater poems! (And sorry I'm late--I've been fighting off a germy something the past few days--I keep falling asleep when I should be doing other stuff, like new poem reviews!).

So.

Leapin' lizards you poets! All those poems. All those shadows. All those thea….well, you get the idea. Senna Jawa--who apparently was shocked into gentle affection by our collective efforts--said overall we get a 5 (and don’t come in this thread and argue with me Senna, I know you said SOMETHING like that). I absolutely agree. What’s amazing to me is that we managed to take the same title and interpret it 19 different ways. Our efforts spanned the globe and a universe of ideas.

So, what did we have to say on Lauren's suggested topic: Shadow Theater/re?

(still working on getting the links in)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dance of the Shadows

AlwaysAwake made love in the shade of moonlight,
Lauren‘s room was assaulted by birds and Celtic knight.

Homer went to war to pray for peace,
While Eve‘s brief candle went out, out with her release.

Hugs and teddy bear kisses to JUDO's scared child.
Angeline turned into Senna Jawa? Now THAT’S pretty wild!

Rainbow’s End danced on the bones of old regrets,
Darkmaas' hippy sits in a church in Provence and frets.

03sp? Shadows at a Tupperware event?
Shade of hunger went to GP's church, but the food didn’t repent.

Rybka saw moonshadows dance on new fallen snow,
Chloe's pine forest pod people have daggers, don’t cha know!

Cordelia danced a slinky shadow fox trot, I posit,
And little JUDO came back with monsters in the closet.

Cordie returned in iambic gloom on a stage without hope,
While silken_dreammaid found shadows under a microscope,

And on OT's stage we age as shadows in denial,
While Senna's mafia guy dies without a shade of wile.

But for me the last poem read stole the others’ shows--
Where did all these ideas come from:

Only Rybka's Shadow knows!

 

[JUDO]

Thank you, Angie, for the high praise about "Hoofin'." I barely know what to say, but here's what happened. You know, I got home from the performance and couldn't wait to start writing that poem. There was all this raw energy that came off the stage and zipped around inside my body that made me want to move and dance and... Well, you saw the result. I was trying to convery the feeling inside of me - the energy.


- Judo

PS - And thank you, Guilty Pleasure. The first Shadow Theatre poem I thought of was the acrostic about being scared by shadows in my room at night after the lights went off when I was a child. Right after I finished it, I thought of fights my parents would have as I was growing up and how scared it made me. I hated those. I still can't stand to be near anyone who raises their voice to another. I usually have to leave the room. The second poem was the result of that and dredging up Wicked's old Terzanelle thread. A little serendipity never hurts.

 

[MercyMia]

Re: January 31st, 2003

-------------------------------------------------
Pay Attention
by MercyMia ©

pay attention
to the words
they will bring you
gifts

[...]

Enough said.
------------------------------------------------- [/B][/QUOTE]

Thank you, Lauren. I've gotten a lot of constructive and encouraging response to my simple poem. Nice to know this neighborhood exists!

Mia

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I hope I didn't step in on your day to review, Eve. Though, now that my day job is slowing to a manageable level, I can take a day. Which day is free for being the designated reviewer?

(And, yes, I know I can post comments about any new poem any time...)

Please let me know if I can step in.

Tentatively,

Cordelia

Hi, Cord. I think the sign-up sheet stands thus:

sun: _Land (missing in action)
mon: JUDO
tue:
wed: OT
thu:
fri: Angeline
sat: Lauren.Hynde

I'd like to see all slots filled

 

[WickedEve]

Glad you posted this!

sun: _Land (missing in action)
mon: JUDO
tue:
wed: OT
thu:
fri: Angeline
sat: Lauren.Hynde


I now know which days to try to fill. I hope Cordelia will do reviews again too.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'm glad I posted that too. Reminded me of something I ought to be doing.