new poems

[Icingsugar]

A splendid work on reviewing and recommending there Jim. So, are you hooked for another week now?

... & thanks for the kind words about By Your Altar. It was a hoot to write. Glad it was a hoot to read.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Okay, I am back again with more New Poems...

Wickedeve lit up the night with Beauty Parlor Light in a wonderful display of color that only a hairdresser could know for sure. I always liked her hair (from her AVs), but now I like it even more...

Thanks Jim. I hope the lightness of my poem didn't pale the intended message of racism. Perhaps, I was too subtle. On second thought, I could never be too subtle. lol

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: Okay, I am back again with more New Poems...

And Yet Again by Razzrajen featured an overwhelming bit of wordplay, in a poem I need to go back and read again.


Wickedeve lit up the night with Beauty Parlor Light in a wonderful display of color that only a hairdresser could know for sure. I always liked her hair (from her AVs), but now I like it even more...

jim

Thanks for the mention jim and for taking the time and trouble to do the reviews.

Razz

 

[BooMerengue]

Thank you, Jim! Great job! Here's some peel-'n-eat kudos for you!

 

[Guest]

Re: Okay, I am back again with more New Poems...

Today's entries opened with a handful of audio poems. The audio adds another dimension to the poetry. I first read the poems, then listened, then came back later and read them again.

My favorite of these poems was: My Gift to You by Crimson Maiden. The poem offers a tender subtlety which is enhanced in the audio. Read and listen to this one.

jim

Umm, wow. Thanks Jim, I'm glad you liked it.

CM

 

[cerulean_ink]

Re: Okay, I am back again with more New Poems...

Cerulean_ink offers a short but fascinating poem:fate's escape

Jim, thank you for your kind words, and for taking the time to read and review all these new poems

 

[WickedEve]

A few poems I want to recommend before leaving the house:
Will I?
by Linbido ©

Setu Bandhasana
by annaswirls ©

1 Fish
by Maria2394 ©

I will return later today with more.

 

[CharleyH]

Jim,

Open emotional thanks for noticing, and open thanks for, hey, publicizing

T

 

[annaswirls]

The first of my two choices for new posters to the board (or perhaps overlooked?) is:

Lonely Angel by darcpix

I liked this above her previous poems.
It had a real, genuine sense of emotion that speaks to a more universal reader.

Since reading poems on lit,
I have become more and more aware of the importance of space between sections of a poem.

It is difficult to read large chunks of text on a screen,
for me at least. That is my one recommendation.


Here is a little taste:

"You talk of sacrifice, disgust with man
speaking of foreign shores and changes
That hold my heart in a sea of stone.... "


The wording of her poem shows a tender poetess with a tender partner, which in all relationships, hopefully comes out at least every now and then :smile:

Upon the first read through this poem, I was captured by the “need for us to roam” I think that all poets have this need, and that is one reason we write.


"You're a beautiful soul, an angel of the purest kind
draped in darkness you walk alone
Like this heart.. like the need for us to roam..
Simply though, felt, and always wondering
will you ever give your heart to anyone?
Or remain the lonely angel you are?"


Well done darcpix!




Second, a young, new poet who has come to grace the lit site.

4 pm by Goddess With Red Hair



I have high expectations for this young poetess. This is her third poem posted, and has a lot of promise. I was immediately drawn to the feel she creates (maybe it was the coffee)

I was sucked into the whirlwind, reliving memories of my own, but I got kind of lost in it about ¾ of the way through. This could be several poems.


She writes with a mix of open eyed youth and insightful wisdom.

If you need a refresher of what it is like to be young, questioning, wondering with a poets heart, read her poem.

I have posted a few teasers, it is too long to post the complete poem….hopefully you will go check out her poems.


”It's 7 am once again,
Here I sit writing my heart
On paper.”


”Playing out endless possibilities,
scenarios of what could be,
and what can happen, “


”You have wriggled your
way into my mind.
Be careful there.”


”Now, we have become a tunnel,
each focused upon the other.
My judgment is skewed.”

”My vision is centered
on Only You,
Dreams forgotten.” .


Well done Goddess! Welcome!

**Please forgive me and let everyone know if I messed up your lines, I used a WP and it deformatted everything....**

And of course, my hats off to the regulars and the many wonderful poems that made my day today.


AnnaSwirls



ps.this takes me forever, any tips on how to do this the right way from the experts, PLEASE let me know!

 

[jthserra]

Thank you...

Anna & Echo for mentioning of my poems and posting the links...


I also wanted to thank everyone for the kind comments and response I got for yesterday's New Poem Reviews... As I mentioned I gained an insight into what the tried and true reviewers have been doing for a long time. It's a lot of fun, but a lot of work too. All I can say is thank you Rybka, Lauren, Angeline, Destinie, Eve, Icing, and Darkmaas...


jim

 

[Icingsugar]

Too late

Too late for me to wait up for the promised second coming of Eve (yeah I know Lauren, I'm a wimp), I'm going to chip in with a recommendation.

Here is a poem with the title Fingered by a woman calling herself FuckDoll. The name and the title immediately triggered all my defensive reflexes, and solemnly, bt dutifully I clicked the link, expecting yet another cliché loaded cock/cunt/cum poem.

I was surprised. Delighted even. Seductive, in a direct, relaxed, conversational way.

Faded blue jeans are my comfort,
seeing them always means home.
Guaranteeing my success would be trivial
in hindsight, (besides I only spent a quarter.)

The painted face
means I'm up for anything,
don't you know? Lost in decadence,
bewildered by certain alluring spices.
I saw you once underneath the magic moon.
I was the girl with the curious stare.

I looked though her older stuff and found that it seems like this girl found a poetic strain somewhere lately. Much of the older stuff is in the over-the-top department. But some more recent stuff (from -03) really kicks ass.

 

[Maria2394]

A few poems I want to recommend before leaving the house:
[
Setu Bandhasana
by annaswirls ©

1 Fish
by Maria2394 ©

I will return later today with more.

thanks for the mention Eve

and to Rybka, Anna, Xtaabay ( YAAYY I got X'd--been loving her stuff for a long long time!!) and neo, for their PC's

and also to those of you who sent private FB in the form of email...
( has anyone figured out the purpose of 2 Fish yet?? echoes_s shhhh, dont make me come spank you) hehe

 

[echoes_s]

Maria....word of advise
Don't use spanking as a threat to me or I will run to you with open arms

 

[GoddessWithRedHair]

Thanks

I'd just like to thank you, annaswirls, for your critique of my poem. You showed me, not only where my words were good, but where they lost contact with the point of the poem. Thanks so much for your kind thoughts. I hope to bring many new poems to lit. Though, I have to say, I was suprised that you said I wrote with insightful wisdoms. My eyes about popped out of my head. (lol)

I'd also like to thank you for sending me the e-mail that let me know I had been commented upon. I have yet to fully explore Literotica, so please bear with me!

All the best,
Goddess

 

[jthserra]

A first poem posted here at Lit, but

one of the most elegantly erotic poems I have read in a long while. In an incredible nod to Jeanette Winterson, Angelfeathers has posted Cherries are not the only Fruit


Read, vote, and send a comment, it will be well worth your effort.


jim

 

[Rybka]

Thank You, Jim

Once more I wish to direct your attention to a Literotica article by our own jthserra. Part II - Haiku, entitled Not Seventeen: More on Haiku can now be seen and wisdom gleaned.

Regards, Jarry

 

[jthserra]

Thanks...

Rybka...

For the mention of my second of three, or four, or five articles I will be posting on haiku. It's funny, I deleted a comment from this story when I got accused of plagarizing from... myself! This article is a slight rework of something I had posted on several discussion boards, which apparently Anynomous had read somewhere.

Anyway, I wanted to confirm that yes, I blatantly copied this article from myself, practically word for word. Please vote accordingly... I am so ashamed.

Thanks again for the nod, Rybka...


jim

 

[Maria2394]

a new poet---odeee
has posted a few poems this week and last..he seem sto be improving with each one and the one he has today,Antidote is in my opinion, his best yet.

He has a finesse about his work, even when describing the deflowering of a woman, he is not crude or tasteless and is a very kind person, always responds when FB is sent and such... I think he has probably written much more than he has posted here and he has a nice webpage too...check him out and offer suggestions if you have any..he will probably delight us in weeks to come if we just encourage him a bit more...

 

[Rybka]

A New Voice To Listen To

a new poet---odeee
has posted a few poems this week and last..he seem sto be improving with each one and the one he has today,Antidote is in my opinion, his best yet.

He has a finesse about his work, even when describing the deflowering of a woman, he is not crude or tasteless and is a very kind person, always responds when FB is sent and such... I think he has probably written much more than he has posted here and he has a nice webpage too...check him out and offer suggestions if you have any..he will probably delight us in weeks to come if we just encourage him a bit more...

As Maria, I too have been reading this poet, and I have been wondering what it was that I did and did not like about his work. Odeee obviously has a good vocabulary, memory and an ear for sonorous phrasing. It is the sense of "been there"/"heard this" before, a lack of crisp originality that vexes me. To my mind, most of Odeee's posted poetry "sounds" better than it "reads".

Like many good orators, the timbre of the voice and the choice of the words glosses over the apparent paucity of individuality. If this new poet ever writes about something that he uniquely knows, the result could be awesome, and I look forward to reading it.

Regards, Rybka

Edited to add:
PS:
echoes_s writes about some of my concern in Talk the Walk. Poet . . . Be yourself . . . Write yourself!

. . .
Yes, smooth my pen
that I may verse
a robotic rebuttal,
politically correct.
Smile at the right places
and put an end
to individuality,
uniqueness of soul,
monotonous and voiceless
in a poetic hall,
then forgotten with all the rest.
-They said I did my best-

No way Bud, I am me,
not some ink blot in history.
Not a sculptured statue,
emotionless,
motionless,
less
than you
or your words
that you scribble
as you quickly scan
my prose and pat yourself
saying, “ I understand,”
without stopping to think
what I really had to say,
what my words and punctuation portrayed.
. . .

 

[Rybka]

Wednesday's Children

I don't know what may have happened to Wednesday's reviewer, but while we wait for a more detailed commentary, Here are a few of the day's that you should not miss.

Rebound by annaswirls

I usually don't recommend erotic poems, but Perks has two today worth reading.
literary cock block
and
making bathtime so much fun

The next, and one of my three favorites for the day is also listed as erotic, but is not.
Tortillas by Xtaabay

Wicked Eve brings back an old memory train with
Steam Shy

A soul thief claims to have stolen style of a Lit. favorite poet. You must read Alana Edgar's
I read denis hale

The Last I choose, and my third favorite of the day is one I mentioned earlier
Talk the Walk by echoes_s.

There are other fine poems out there. Why don't you go find some and tell me about them?

Regards, Rybka

 

[echoes_s]

Re: Wednesday's Children

I don't know what may have happened to Wednesday's reviewer, but while we wait for a more detailed commentary, Here are a few of the day's that you should not miss.

Rebound by annaswirls

I usually don't recommend erotic poems, but Perks has two today worth reading.
literary cock block
and
making bathtime so much fun

The next, and one of my three favorites for the day is also listed as erotic, but is not.
Tortillas by Xtaabay

Wicked Eve brings back an old memory train with
Steam Shy

A soul thief claims to have stolen style of a Lit. favorite poet. You must read Alana Edgar's
I read denis hale

The Last I choose, and my third favorite of the day is one I mentioned earlier
Talk the Walk by echoes_s.

There are other fine poems out there. Why don't you go find some and tell me about them?

Regards, Rybka

Thanks Rybka

I found Christina's Garden by Toward a Word

starting with a very descriptive and quick lure in of;

worn steel spade
clank-dragging down dirt road
pause
deep breath
sweat wiped from smooth brow
amber locks brushed aside

barren plot
gritty chuff, spade into soil
each foot's push
one more step toward the vision
behind her skyblue eyes
~~~

(and I wrote this without any coffee yet this morning...wow) I can really function...

 

[BooMerengue]

My bad; I mistakenly said Yes to Votes and No to Public Comments. But I liked this little piece, and so did 5 others. I'd prefer to hear comments, tho. It's circularism.

Not touting here- just would like to hear- bad and good! Thanks!

 

[Guest]

Not touting here- just would like to hear- bad and good! Thanks!

Good.

 

[Cordelia]

I'm here!

THe daily review of poems is forthcoming. There are some treasures today...

I will post my review shortly.


Cordelia

 

[Cordelia]

new poems 1/22/04

There were 27 new poems posted today.

Here are my picks <insert caveat about this being one person's opinion... yadda yadda yadda>

There were five poems that really stood out today...
~~~~~~~
Bozo Knows by denis hale

I alternately laughed and gawked at this poem. I couldn't even begin to describe the effect, so I will excerpt:

...
The Jethro Bodine
bully twins
by the grandfather clock
are starting
to stare him down,
nudging each other
as the clown makes another
cupid's-arrow-with-testicles
out of two twist-em day glo
sausage balloons,
...

~~~~~~~

how one throws away a flower - duh by annaswirls

I love this poem! I printed it and chuckled over it with my 11-year-old son, an aspiring poet. He immediately shut himself in his room and started writing.

~~~~~~~
parallel planes by Senna Jawa

Just go read it. You won't be sorry.

~~~~~~~
near 1:00pm by smithpeter

I can't get enough of smithpeter's poetry. This one reminded me of why I adore his writing.

(Need help with that, smithpeter?)

~~~~~~~
Sextet (1 - Prologue) by perdita

I am usually not a fan of prose-poems. They have to be exceptional for me to get all the way through them. I made it through this one three times. And who could resist such delectable writing as this?

... just another pair of Christ-eyes in an icon face, the kind that lures me—like a stupid moth. He looked like a holy ghost, a Chopin for my romantic bent—for my pen, my bed—subtlely cruel, an adolescent

Lucifer. I’ve tasted lust like this before, and thirst for each life-giving sip. I am like Tristan on his cot, insatiable but for his wound, calling for Isolde's ship.

...

WIth the imagery and internal rhymes spicing this amazing poem, I can't wait for the rest of the Sestet...

~~~~~~~

Other poems to check out:

Life in the Catapult by Toward A Word

circularism by BooMerengue

walked by, rocked my world by Liar

poe lil' mice by Alana Edgar

~~~~~~~

As always, go read, give feedback, and vote if you want.

Cordelia


<rant>
A side note: I noticed three poems that mis-used the verb "lay."

To lay is to place something; there's always a "something" that is being placed. To lie is to recline.
If you are not feeling well, lay your tools aside and lie down.
</rant>