new poems

[Liar]

Let me be the first to say Woo dang! These challenges seems to never fail in bring ing out the best in al of us. OT, Zanzibar, Lauren and Lin have made poems that drew me in instantly, just by glancing at them. And all those, what are they, terzanelles? Holy cow.

#L

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Oh great. Had to happen on my watch. I'm just going to be home for another 3 or 4 hours and then I'm done for the day, so any help I can get going through the new poems will be appreciated.

If any of you is available, dig in. I'll just start commenting from the bottom of the list. (Just coz I want to)

 

[Angeline]

Oh great. Had to happen on my watch. I'm just going to be home for another 3 or 4 hours and then I'm done for the day, so any help I can get going through the new poems will be appreciated.

If any of you is available, dig in. I'll just start commenting from the bottom of the list. (Just coz I want to)

I got your back, sweetie. I'll do a bunch of em.



but I'll leave the STC poems for PoeTess, who may publically smack me for volunteering her

 

[Angeline]

5/8/04--First off

Let’s start with Uncle Pervey. Now this guy writes some fairly pervy poetry, true, but most of it is damn well written in my opinion--clever, often very funny and satirical. He has 11 poems posted today in both erotic and nonerotic categories, and you can enjoy a good read with any of them. Two of his poems in particular, Granny Grunt and Ello-wishus Mastodon have a Shel Silverstein feel and are really delightful.

 

[Angeline]

5/8/04 And then...

BooMerengue has a stunner of a poem in Learing at Leary. It reads increasingly like a bad acid trip (not that *I’d* know anything about that, having been a perfect teenager, lol). Great, appropriate images and what starts out sort of lighthearted ends with a very serious bang that’s all the more effective for coming at the reader so unexpectedly. Well, I’m sure glad you’re back Boo!

Now Man Ray you naughty boy you have not and you know it, but I love your poem Girls I have... anyway, which um *unintentionally* uses some names we’ve all seen in this forum. This alone should guarenntee it a whole lotta views, but it’s purty funny, so read it cause it’s good. (And yes MR, I do like a clean guy.)

Leap of Faith is a new poet here and I really like
Dingy Blue Flowers. It’s wonderfully descriptive, with very vivid, evocative images.

annaswirls offers Red-Wing Blackbird. anna, I know exactly where Sumneytown Hill , so this one really hit home for me. (I have good friends in that town.) But enough of that, heehee. This is a great poem (what a shock, lol)--very visual and yet metaphoric. It’ll make you remember something special from when you were comin up.

There are two poems from twelveoone, a new poet to me, and both are excellent. Projection is short, sweet and packs a punch in its few words, while little life is just beautiful, delicate and introspective; it’s a must-read.

Toward a Word offers a very interesting piece in Oasis, which comingles the spiritual with the erotic, and does it very well. It’s written in a simple ABab rhyme scheme, and is a great example of how you can make that work for your poem.

Finally, air2lo offers the short but metaphoric-sexy
Waiting.

That’s it for me. Read, vote, comment, give feedback please. Thanks poets for a wonderful group of reads. Have a great weekend everyone, and Happy Mother’s Day you moms. x12

(for the rest of you)
Ange

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Is the new poetry page all messed up for you too? I can only see the first few links...

edited:
Nevermind, it's working again

 

[annaswirls]

Re: 5/8/04 And then...

There are two poems from twelveoone, a new poet to me, and both are excellent. Projection is short, sweet and packs a punch in its few words, while little life is just beautiful, delicate and introspective; it’s a must-read.


(for the rest of you)
Ange [/B]

Ange, I am glad I was reviewing when this one came up from twelveoone: You will love it I am sure...

Wide Screen


And thanks for your mention in my Plymouth series. I have to ask my Dad for some real stories so I can stop making them up. I love this car. Sumneytown hill is no fun to drive up in the snow, but damn, coming down is one fine way to make a re-entrance into homeville.


Happy Mother's Day to you times two (okay times 4 they are teenagers, right?)

 

[jthserra]

Well, it's not Monday, but...

The new poems stacked up and then suddenly flooded Lauren with over sixty poems. I was reading them and was amazed at what excellent poetry was there, so when Lauren asked for a hand, I immediately volunteered. We split up reviews between Lauren, Angeline and I... Anyway, I have a lot of great stuff to recommend...


From the start today was special. The first poem I read immediately grabbed my attention with its odd line breaks. So different from anything I might try, I was intrigued with what JCSTREET was doing breaking the lines the way he did. It was reminscent of W.C. Williams I thought. He posted three poems today, my favorite of which was Jealousy: The Slow Decay of Love 690512. Read it and his other two and see what I mean about the line breaks... delightful.


We go from line breaks to minimalism... Lostdriver1964 a poet I had not noticed here before trimmed all but the essence of meaning from his Just One Move. Just a few lines, a few words that say a lot.

Erotica... when done well it has an animal power that is enthralling. Well Anachasta enthralled me with a seductively feline Tigra. Read this poem and feel the way the body moves.


Damn these are good!


Carl Sandburg wrote his famous poem "Chicago" years ago and when ever I think of Chicago I think "Hog butcher to the world". Well what Sandburg did with Chicago, Tarablackwood22 has done with another city as she presents us Midnight in Evanston.

"Midnight dwellers
test evil’s edges of gray
in cadillacs and dingy cellars.
Devils prey
with moans
and groans"

A wonderful look at a city's dark side.


Okay, I immediately tried to change the title when I read this poem by Dreamsweet. While I read I automatically added a "from" to the title... but wow, my instinct was wrong here. In an excellent poem she presents us with a compelling metaphor that becomes painfully apparant as the poem closes. Read To Keep Me Falling Apart]. Take a peek:

"The illness, the noise, the crush,
under 107 degrees of torture,
praying to stay alive long enough
to hear the revelation."

The power of this metaphor is revealed as the poem closes. Read it, comment and vote.


_Lady1Sensual_1Fire_ brings us a pair of poems, one responding to the other. My favorite of the two was an elegant Medievel love poem as her hero speaks of Your Essence (From Him).


Well... now there is the Last Orders. I am not sure if Lauren wanted to hit these seperately or not, but there were a couple in my group of poems that I wanted to mention.

Champagne1982 wast the first of the last orders I had the opportunity to read. The poem took and interesting poem that reminded me of columns of marching soldiers. The subtle but distinct rhyme felt like a cadence as she marched her words on the page. Take a peek at the unique form in her Last Orders. Take a peek:

"Never to really grasp the great wrong
he helped to set right. It was a long
lark song
Heralding the morning he was to sail,
across the channel. Brave-faced laddies hale
and male"


Speaking of form... Angeline once again made me sigh with a wonderful villanelle in Last Orders. The bittersweet language quietly bears the sadness of a time too short.


Kundalinguini's poem takes us from the structured sanity of an accountant's life into the absolute insanity of the citizen soldier asked to go beyond anything anyone could expect and then to the silent sadness beyond. He does this not only with his words, but with the structure of his poem, read Last Orders and see what I mean.


We go from war to a bar in an excellent terzanelle by Tristesse. Her long lines and excellent form lend wonderfully into what she is expressing in her words... Last Orders. It's last call at the bar and Tristesse brings us the images.


In the passage of a few short lines OT uses some wonderful alliteration to accentuate her powerful language in Last Orders, I offer you the first stunning line:

"reject their pandering pedantic persuasions"

read the rest of the poem, there's a lesson we must learn there.



Word play often adds a delightful twist to a fun poem, but in a dark, seething poem, adept word play can add a cynical darkness to the words. LaurenHynde masters the art of symbolic wordplay in her Last Orders . Take a peek:

"Astonished
in his urgent affairs
across new deserts of knowledge
he hauls
a pure sin plicity
perfectly cynic
in its dryness."

Read it all, vote and comment.





And now... my favorite of the day. Often when I try to explain poetry to people I find I am at a loss. Sure, I can define poetic device, rhythm and rhyme, but there is something more to poetry, something deeper. Poetry entices us to go beyond the words, to dig deeper than the simplest meaning, to dare to feel the intense emotion that an excellent poet can create in those very same words many of use simply scuttle over the page.

When I read this poem a chill ran through me, I was so affected by the poem I felt it, honestly felt it physically. Perhaps it's because I was an Air Force brat with a father flying in Korea and Vietnam, maybe it was from the terrible dread that I buried deep inside while he was gone, or, most likely it was the powerful emotional content packed inside Zanzibar's words, but, I fight tears as I write this thinking of his Last Orders. Don't just read this poem... experience it! Thank you Zanzibar for uncovering something inside me I didn't realize was there.


That's only a third of the Saturday New Poems. Watch for Angeline's and Lauren's reviews and then go to the poems and read them all. Today was amazing, and I am sure I missed some excellent poetry. Find yourself a gem. Have a nice weekend...

And now poets... let's be poetic out there.


jim : )

 

[Liar]

IT'S FRIDAY!!!

Err. No it's not. But there came a bunch of poems dated for yesterday after I had tucked in to bed (it was 3 AM Saturday morning here, mind you)

So, I'll take a stab at those now. They can all be found at the bottom of the new poems page, as well as one on page 2.


15 poems all in all, and 5 that I found standing out:

In no particular order...
.............
Last Orders by Tathagata
One little premature challenge poem there, but a real treat it was. I don't know about the rest of the world, but there is something here in Sweden that is called White Letters. Most banks, insurance companies, churches and attourneys have them. They are basically a letter you write, to be read to people after your death. They are not as formal as wills, and often contains special greetings and wishes for how you want your funeral to be arranged. I might want to borrow a few ideas from T when I decde to write one of my own.
.............
gram mer by My Erotic Tail
Out tailed friend and I have our differencies, and I can't say that I agree with the sentiment of this poem fully, but I don't have to share his opinions to acknowledge that he does a fine job in illustrating them. It's a cute little read. So read.
.............
Grand Mal With Godfather by denis hale
Denis hale in his most acid mood is always a delight to read. Here he plays a twisted voyeur game with the world, parallell with an equally twisted erotic tug-o-war. Some of the many twists and turns here managed to confuse the bejezus out of me, but the language alone was worth it.
.............
New Knoxville Gal! by Uncle Pervey
This refreshingsly unashamed dirty old man had several poems up for Friday, but the less dirty one also happened to be the best written poem. A colorful and juicy spinnoff/tribute to a juicy and colorful song.
.............
Visions of You by UpSideDown1
It is intense, it is heartfelt, it is close to obessive and close to cliché sometimes. But I can't helf but being a little overwhelmed, when so many delicate metaphors and images for intense desire rains down.
.............

 

[Tathagata]

Re: IT'S FRIDAY!!!

Err. No it's not. But there came a bunch of poems dated for yesterday after I had tucked in to bed (it was 3 AM Saturday morning here, mind you)

So
In no particular order...
.............
Last Orders by Tathagata
One little premature challenge poem there, but a real treat it was. I don't know about the rest of the world, but there is something here in Sweden that is called White Letters. Most banks, insurance companies, churches and attourneys have them. They are basically a letter you write, to be read to people after your death. They are not as formal as wills, and often contains special greetings and wishes for how you want your funeral to be arranged. I might want to borrow a few ideas from T when I decde to write one of my own.

Thank you Sir,
It's funny a few people have said the same thing about doing this before they die
I thought everyone had a list like this.

 

[tarablackwood22]

Thanks, Jim

Carl Sandburg wrote his famous poem "Chicago" years ago and when ever I think of Chicago I think "Hog butcher to the world". Well what Sandburg did with Chicago, Tarablackwood22 has done with another city as she presents us Midnight in Evanston.

"Midnight dwellers
test evil’s edges of gray
in cadillacs and dingy cellars.
Devils prey
with moans
and groans"

A wonderful look at a city's dark side.

Thanks for the mention, Jim ......and thanks to all the reviewers handling today's avalanche.

 

[Tathagata]

Re: Thanks, Jim

Thanks for the mention, Jim ......and thanks to all the reviewers handling today's avalanche.

It is a great poem Tara

 

[annaswirls]

Happy Mother's Day!




48 New Poems Today!



I will get around to these, my promise.


~Anna-tomically correct mommy

 

[Tathagata]

~Anna-tomically correct mommy

We need photographic proof



Happy Mothers Day to All

 

[annaswirls]

A Few Quick Must Reads:

Anna's Picks
She's the Whisper jthserra

I wanted to cry reading this incredibly vivid poem. I will go to meditate today on not becoming this poem.

Here is a taste of the "She" in this poem:

You don't care, now deaf to the sounds
and blind to the back alleys
slipping on wet ceramic, as butts
float in the urinals, spinning in the steam.
Stepping out, you see her again
as stark white angles stumble past you.
"That cheap bastard," you hear
as she washes her mouth and
spits him down the sink
"didn't even buy me a drink."

Jim, someday we will be paying to read your words. Thank you.
~

Anna's Picks
Normal and Norma Jones- neonurotic

Then I'm on you like
an angry fire ant
lighting up
places that burn quick

Damn Neo, you never fail to surprise me with your abilities.

~

Anna's Picks
Always A Way To Make A Living by WickedEve ©

Is there anywhere this woman cannot go?

I am giving you the first line, go get the rest...

I got a fine Bwoon from my Kuba runner--

okay accuse me of doing something with a circle or oval but damn it is Mother's Day and I had to read some favorites this morning to start my day, and now I gotta go, kids want me for breakfast...

I will be back this afternoon, naptime! I KNOW there are many more equally wonderful poems out there I have yet to read.

Anna~you'll have to take my word for it T

 

[My Erotic Tail]

Thanks~

((gram mer by My Erotic Tail
Out tailed friend and I have our differencies, and I can't say that I agree with the sentiment of this poem fully, but I don't have to share his opinions to acknowledge that he does a fine job in illustrating them. It's a cute little read. So read.))

Thanks Liar~
I really enjoyed writing that one...chuckles
Even though our words have meshed,
you show a certain charactor that I can respect.
Bows Humble

 

[dreamsweet]

Thanks for listing my poem among your favorites, jthserra. I know there were lots and lots posted at the same time, so I wasn't sure they'd get much notice!
dreamsweet

 

[jthserra]

Hello again...

There were almost 50 poems today, so I offered to help Anna out a bit, giving her a few moments of extra Mother's Day cheer. I grabbed about a dozen and a half of the poems and found a number of gems...


Poetry is a wonderful means of expression, some of the beauty of poetry lies in its often layered levels of meaning. Though the use of poetic device, a gifted poet can say so much more than just what the words alone actually say. While this can be done in prose, it is in poetry where the wonderful depths of meaning are artfully explored. In a seemingly simple poem about Tootsie Pop Licks the poet My Erotic Tail layers another meaning into the sweet taste.


Another thing poetry can do is expose the wide rainbow of emotions we experience. In Pink Tulip's Before I Weep we see a unique ambivalance in the erotic event she presents.

"Waking up flushed and wet,
angry for wanting you.
your scent covering me
ocean infused with Dove soap"

An anger in this desire. Be sure to read this one.


In a gifted use of metaphor, Quietpoly thirsts for You. In stark imagery, she longs for a drink:

"To my eyes
you are an oasis.
Where camels gather
and date palms grow.

And yet,
you are just
a swarm of locusts.
Wandering, never to stay."

Take a drink of this poetry.


In a poem that appears to be a tranlation of the poet's Lit. name, Nouveau Lune Attentes bring us a New Moon Waiting . You often see the moonlight used in poetry, here the poet brings us the darkened new moon in an excellent look into the darkness and impending light of a relationship. Read it and search for the light.


Toward A Word uses the poem's language to add a dimention of wonder, of possibility he found in Just a Friendly Hug. I think we've all wondered like this.


Kudzu, those of us in the south, especially in areas of Mississippi and Alabama, know the curse of this insidious vine. Wicked Eve effectively uses this vine as she in covered in Another Day's Redundancy. Read it, if you are like me, you'll be green with envy over this poem.


Terzanelle... a form we've seen a lot of recently. To get a concise definition, I googled it and found this: "The Terzanelle (pronounced tur-zuh-nell) is a combination of the French forms Terza Rima and Villainelle, where the second line of a stanza is repeated as the third line of the following stanza. It's characteristics include repeating triplets rather than quattrains in the body, with a concluding quattrain. The Terzanelle has two alternate forms of endings, so make sure to look at them closely to see which one might be best for you." - at (http://www.angelfire.com/art/formsofpoetry/agamemmnon's.sanctuary.frenchforms.terzanelle.html).

Angeline brings us a view of soldiers from a different perspective in her terzanelle titled Soldiers. Read the poem, vote and comment.


With a gentle sadness Annaswirls presents us an potentially uncomfortable if not volatile situation. Her language takes us on some wary footsteps as two women begin to heal from a Rumor that turned out to be true.


Drowyn effectively uses language in his poem to step back and take a step Outside and in doing so, he takes a fresh new look at the world.

"Outside
I can feel the air
Embracing a lost friend
Hear the birds
Singing familiar songs"


When I was very young, living in Okinawa, my dad had a Rambler convertable, and I immediately recalled the car when I read the title to this poem and started reading the poem. In my favorite of the poems I've reviewed today, Merrymaker takes us on a very erotic Sleepless Ramble. For those of you who've slid down on those naugahyde seats, you'll love this one.


Anna will cover the rest of the New Poems today. In reading some of them, I mentioned those that grabbed me. There are other excellent poems out there I may have missed. Read them over and find some gems of your own.


And yes poets, please, whatever you do, let's be poetic out there.

jim : )

 

[BooMerengue]

"BooMerengue has a stunner of a poem in Learing at Leary. It reads increasingly like a bad acid trip (not that *I’d* know anything about that, having been a perfect teenager, lol). Great, appropriate images and what starts out sort of lighthearted ends with a very serious bang that’s all the more effective for coming at the reader so unexpectedly. Well, I’m sure glad you’re back Boo!"

Thank you, Ange... nice to be back!

I actually met Mr. Leary in Central Park way back when the sun was always out and crowds were cool, clothes were optional and so was LSD 25! I am still awed by the warp I went through traveling from my New England private school Catholic strait laced upbring to Central Park on the grass in one weekend! Those were the days, my friend...

Thank you.

 

[jthserra]

Wow...

how did that one go so wide?


jim : )

 

[Angeline]

"BooMerengue has a stunner of a poem in Learing at Leary. It reads increasingly like a bad acid trip (not that *I’d* know anything about that, having been a perfect teenager, lol). Great, appropriate images and what starts out sort of lighthearted ends with a very serious bang that’s all the more effective for coming at the reader so unexpectedly. Well, I’m sure glad you’re back Boo!"

Thank you, Ange... nice to be back!

I actually met Mr. Leary in Central Park way back when the sun was always out and crowds were cool, clothes were optional and so was LSD 25! I am still awed by the warp I went through traveling from my New England private school Catholic strait laced upbring to Central Park on the grass in one weekend! Those were the days, my friend...

Thank you.

ohmigawd--was that you in the fringe and tie-dye?

You're welcome.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

8 May 2004 - the rest

I apologise for having taken so long to post my recommendations out of yesterday's new poems, but I was yanked out of my computer before I had the chance to do it.

Thank you Jim and Angeline for helping me go through that long list.

Some of the poems not mentioned by them that I thought were worth a more careful read were:

-------------------------------------------------
See
by usemyskin ©

[...]
I see the colors flashing
orange and pink across the sky
I see a bright electric future
in the morning for you and I.

See may not be a masterpiece, but it shows some promise and, together with When We Are Together and On the Shore, is one of the three poems posted by a new author, usemyskin. Worth reading.

-------------------------------------------------
a good thing
by air2o ©

sipping from a candle flame with my eyes
it’s lured oxygen transforms into light
as my memory seems to be trading places
with empty gaps

[...]

A good thing is understatement. Air2o's poem was easily one of the best posted yesterday, a metaphor for the passage of time.

-------------------------------------------------
Summer Loves
by BooMerengue ©

[...]

my Mother the moon
lighting the cold water lake as
chilled goosebumpy flesh
warmed my hardened nipples
floating, teased by the motion of
untamed thrusts
as love eternal
was sworn between spurts
of blonde blue eyed orgasms

[...]

Wonder-ful imagery in a soft and emotive erotic poem, a perfectly well captured moment.

-------------------------------------------------
Morning
by quietpoly ©

[...]

Peeking
Moyna lifts blanket.
But, Grandma in morning prayer,
with eyes to God,
does not notice.

[...]

Liar said it best with a public comment: "I want to hug this poem."

-------------------------------------------------
I Know YDD
by jthserra ©

I know YDD, I shook his hand
I heard his voice from the basement stage
as he spoke of simile with a smile
and rhythm with a rhyme. This laureate
echoed from the well worn stage
as he read from “The Apple that Astonished Paris”

[...]

The best response to all the animosity we've been seeing lately. A wonderful tribute and perfect metaphor for what is the true spirit of poetry. A must read.

-------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------
Of the Last Orders posted yesterday, all should deserve your attention, but my personal favourites were:

• Last Orders by *Catbabe* ©
  A strong worded sonnet, befitting an intense subject that needs to be talked of.
  
• Last Orders by The_Fool ©
  Very tense and well crafted villanelle.
  
• Last Orders by Linbido ©
  A loud and very sharp poem.
  
• Last Order by jthserra ©
  Louder, sharper.
  
• Last Orders by Tristesse ©
  Form and content matching perfectly.
  
• Last Orders by Angeline ©
  Delicate and bittersweet, brilliantly crafted villanelle.
  
• Last Orders by champagne1982 ©
  It was the greatest formal risk, but it paid off. Great poem.
  

 

[Syndra Lynn]

Re: Hello again...

Terzanelle... a form we've seen a lot of recently. To get a concise definition, I googled it and found this: "The Terzanelle (pronounced tur-zuh-nell) is a combination of the French forms Terza Rima and Villainelle, where the second line of a stanza is repeated as the third line of the following stanza. It's characteristics include repeating triplets rather than quattrains in the body, with a concluding quattrain. The Terzanelle has two alternate forms of endings, so make sure to look at them closely to see which one might be best for you." - at (http://www.angelfire.com/art/formsofpoetry/agamemmnon's.sanctuary.frenchforms.terzanelle.html).



And yes poets, please, whatever you do, let's be poetic out there.

jim : ) [/B]

Many thanks Jim. When it comes right down to it, I am truly new at poetry. I've written free verse since I was 6 and am just now discovering (at nearly 39!) meter and forms.

--------

Ancient poetry forms
my new mistress
I am her slave

work to perfect her
soon, I hope
to be her master

--------

I know it's free verse, but as yet, that's the only weapon in my arsenal!

Thanks for your help, Jim.

Syn

 

[Guest]

Thank you, Lauren, for including my Last Orders in your picks and thank you, too, to all the folk who read, commented and voted on mine and others poems - it's important and appreciated.

 

[Angeline]

Thank you Jim, for mentioning my poem Soldiers--I was thinking of those Washington meetings and how close they are to the national war memorials, the Viet Nam Wall --truly astonishing because the architecture follows the escalation of the wall--the Arlington National Cemetary, and mainly the Korean War Memorial, which I rarely see mentioned, but is an eerie, stirring momument, as you can see from the photo.

And Syn, if you're getting into form poetry (I was like you--never wrote it till the other poets here influenced me to try), I can highly recommend The Book of Forms by Lewis Turco. It's comprehensive and full of good examples.