JCSTREET
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2004
- Posts
- 1,987
REVIEWS THURSDAY JUNE 3 2004 - ABOUT 40 POEMS
REVU2.TXT
CAVEAT=ONLY INCLUDES POEMS UP TO NOON=SO IF YOURS CAME UP LATER i DINT IGNORE YOU--i DINT SEE YOU.
Eve wickedly tickles our funny bones and memories withUncle's Garden
Shoo! Out of my garden!
Don't tiptoe through the tomatoes
and radishes.
Leave the carrots be!
almost everyone had a relative who shooed them jocularly out of the way during their peurile explorations--but then it moves on to superstition (or is it fact?) - menstruating women should not be around growing things (hmmm!)
A woman's power flows between her thighs
and can strike down a sprout
struggling up through the soil.
well--hush my mouth--would never have occurred to me--
but then--already assumed her "wicked" mantle in her formative years Eve paid no heed and
killed all chances that summer
of a fresh salad.
(often wondered why those summer lettuce leaves drooped so quickly
-----
neonurotic once more maps the dark terrain of the road which the (perhaps apocryphal)
rubber meets with
Rx Blowjobs
Swallow my misery along
with the bitterness
that rolls off your chin
and it's true that since the advent of the Net, women have come to realize the importance
of fellatio to the equanimity of the stalwart yeomen of the shire
(although with reciprocation implied)
AND!
equating the gushing of life-spawning seed to "misery" spawns a tense metaphor
as water is the universal solvent, so neo judges oral relief to be a universal salvent
and may have more impressionable readers reaching for the Kleenex(T).
---
Uncle Pervey submits another paean to keeping it in the family and continues to spell "scary" with an "ey" thus affecting a solecism much beloved of the English--who feel--absent any evidence--that American English is somehow inferior to their own argot.
Jim Serra - whose emotions may sometimes range to the far, bleak places of the heart - always amazes with his economy - while explorers generally carry spare supplies, this poet carries no spare words - this concept of spareness is--in fact-- contained in the German word for poet (dichtjunst/dichtkunstler???) I was once told --and is the hardest concept to get across to emerging poets
His poem http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=147100]Your Immolation amazes and challenges and may require several readings to absorb - I wonder if it has anything to do with destructive, co-dependent (addictive) relationships - but that's just me.
---
Jim Serra - whose emotions may sometimes range to the far, bleak places of the heart - always amazes with his economy - while explorers generally carry spare supplies, this poet carries no spare words - this concept of spareness is--in fact-- contained in the German word for poet (dichtjunst/dichtkunstler???) I was once told --and is the hardest concept to get across to emerging poets
His poem http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=147100]Your Immolation amazes and challenges and may require several readings to absorb - I wonder if it has anything to do with destructive, co-dependent (addictive) relationships - but that's just me.
---
I see your immolation
and feel the heat
coursing
from you
I see confusion
naked… your soul bared you a r e
c o n s u m e d in flame,
and I try to walk away,
but can't. I turn away… sobbing.
I can't remember lighting the match (spontaneous combustion?)
I turn back to you (feeling the heat)
and reach out
I touch the fire,
feel it sear my skin,
the pervasive scent
of our burning flesh
is so thick I taste it.
I smile now, tasting your fire
and walk away, sated,
until you burn again
---
RazzRajen's
For the Silent One pays court to a girl he loves
Strong as the oak , stronger than the wind,
Together they stood and do,
Against all odds,
All of life’s machinations.
There's no verbal machinations either - what you see is what you get
---
flyguy69 adopts a creative and delightful metaphor in
Paper Girl - equating his girl's skin to a tabula rasa on which what he writes becomes flesh
Words flowed from my fingertips and
spilled onto her parchment skin
Words like “caress” are too big for paper anyway
the bauty of this poem is its economy - how the poet crowbars a wealth of imagery into 12 lines - and manages to hold the metaphor tightly all the way through - not an easy task
And good words aren’t straight like standard rule
They curve like clavicles
and dimple like navels
it's one of the best metaphors I've ever seen I think
I used words that tickled and made her flinch
---
---
normal jean (is this a play on Norma Jean???) delivers the ending we begin to suspect when she begins her description of working class life in screen door silenced
Them kids are like sex, I heard Mama say
in and out, out and in, all damn day!
Why can't they just stay outside and play?
well . . . the kids pick up on that unspoken thought and
Saturday Night drunk fight, stop sign felled
~highway man don't work today~
You kids! Get in the yard and play!
OOOPPPSSS!!!!!!!
When did a kid ever listen?
Country roads breathe, wild summertime
kids on bikes, creek trek today
never stopping to think about
the big truck heading their way
Now Mama has nothing ( to worry about)
a screen door slam,how minor
with both of her babies taken away...
taken away, damned screen door!
slam my heart,
take this silence, this sadness away
the simple language of Jean's poem belies the stark, stomach-churning wind-up
I haven't seen Jean's work before - this has a rolling "cinema verite" flavor - it feels like oral history which sounds everyday to the neighbours - but a goldmine of fascinations to the outsider
---
I didn't spot many of the usual suspects in today's round - I know most of you have been active since the last round-up but I see no opportunity to catch some of those good works today.
Looking at the rest of today's poems--most by ppl whom I haven't seen posting here I see some fuck poems - a genre which rarely ever works - some doggerel - and some poems which actually rhyme (what a confusing concept to a modernist).
I don't like to choose favorite poems because to me it's too subjective a call - favorite poems aren't necessarily the best poems--it could just be that I was too stupid to see the merit in an alternative if I tried to do that.
so short and sweet--that's it for today.
Carl
REVU2.TXT
CAVEAT=ONLY INCLUDES POEMS UP TO NOON=SO IF YOURS CAME UP LATER i DINT IGNORE YOU--i DINT SEE YOU.
Eve wickedly tickles our funny bones and memories withUncle's Garden
Shoo! Out of my garden!
Don't tiptoe through the tomatoes
and radishes.
Leave the carrots be!
almost everyone had a relative who shooed them jocularly out of the way during their peurile explorations--but then it moves on to superstition (or is it fact?) - menstruating women should not be around growing things (hmmm!)
A woman's power flows between her thighs
and can strike down a sprout
struggling up through the soil.
well--hush my mouth--would never have occurred to me--
but then--already assumed her "wicked" mantle in her formative years Eve paid no heed and
killed all chances that summer
of a fresh salad.
(often wondered why those summer lettuce leaves drooped so quickly
-----
neonurotic once more maps the dark terrain of the road which the (perhaps apocryphal)
rubber meets with
Rx Blowjobs
Swallow my misery along
with the bitterness
that rolls off your chin
and it's true that since the advent of the Net, women have come to realize the importance
of fellatio to the equanimity of the stalwart yeomen of the shire
(although with reciprocation implied)
AND!
equating the gushing of life-spawning seed to "misery" spawns a tense metaphor
as water is the universal solvent, so neo judges oral relief to be a universal salvent
and may have more impressionable readers reaching for the Kleenex(T).
---
Uncle Pervey submits another paean to keeping it in the family and continues to spell "scary" with an "ey" thus affecting a solecism much beloved of the English--who feel--absent any evidence--that American English is somehow inferior to their own argot.
Jim Serra - whose emotions may sometimes range to the far, bleak places of the heart - always amazes with his economy - while explorers generally carry spare supplies, this poet carries no spare words - this concept of spareness is--in fact-- contained in the German word for poet (dichtjunst/dichtkunstler???) I was once told --and is the hardest concept to get across to emerging poets
His poem http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=147100]Your Immolation amazes and challenges and may require several readings to absorb - I wonder if it has anything to do with destructive, co-dependent (addictive) relationships - but that's just me.
---
Jim Serra - whose emotions may sometimes range to the far, bleak places of the heart - always amazes with his economy - while explorers generally carry spare supplies, this poet carries no spare words - this concept of spareness is--in fact-- contained in the German word for poet (dichtjunst/dichtkunstler???) I was once told --and is the hardest concept to get across to emerging poets
His poem http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=147100]Your Immolation amazes and challenges and may require several readings to absorb - I wonder if it has anything to do with destructive, co-dependent (addictive) relationships - but that's just me.
---
I see your immolation
and feel the heat
coursing
from you
I see confusion
naked… your soul bared you a r e
c o n s u m e d in flame,
and I try to walk away,
but can't. I turn away… sobbing.
I can't remember lighting the match (spontaneous combustion?)
I turn back to you (feeling the heat)
and reach out
I touch the fire,
feel it sear my skin,
the pervasive scent
of our burning flesh
is so thick I taste it.
I smile now, tasting your fire
and walk away, sated,
until you burn again
---
RazzRajen's
For the Silent One pays court to a girl he loves
Strong as the oak , stronger than the wind,
Together they stood and do,
Against all odds,
All of life’s machinations.
There's no verbal machinations either - what you see is what you get
---
flyguy69 adopts a creative and delightful metaphor in
Paper Girl - equating his girl's skin to a tabula rasa on which what he writes becomes flesh
Words flowed from my fingertips and
spilled onto her parchment skin
Words like “caress” are too big for paper anyway
the bauty of this poem is its economy - how the poet crowbars a wealth of imagery into 12 lines - and manages to hold the metaphor tightly all the way through - not an easy task
And good words aren’t straight like standard rule
They curve like clavicles
and dimple like navels
it's one of the best metaphors I've ever seen I think
I used words that tickled and made her flinch
---
---
normal jean (is this a play on Norma Jean???) delivers the ending we begin to suspect when she begins her description of working class life in screen door silenced
Them kids are like sex, I heard Mama say
in and out, out and in, all damn day!
Why can't they just stay outside and play?
well . . . the kids pick up on that unspoken thought and
Saturday Night drunk fight, stop sign felled
~highway man don't work today~
You kids! Get in the yard and play!
OOOPPPSSS!!!!!!!
When did a kid ever listen?
Country roads breathe, wild summertime
kids on bikes, creek trek today
never stopping to think about
the big truck heading their way
Now Mama has nothing ( to worry about)
a screen door slam,how minor
with both of her babies taken away...
taken away, damned screen door!
slam my heart,
take this silence, this sadness away
the simple language of Jean's poem belies the stark, stomach-churning wind-up
I haven't seen Jean's work before - this has a rolling "cinema verite" flavor - it feels like oral history which sounds everyday to the neighbours - but a goldmine of fascinations to the outsider
---
I didn't spot many of the usual suspects in today's round - I know most of you have been active since the last round-up but I see no opportunity to catch some of those good works today.
Looking at the rest of today's poems--most by ppl whom I haven't seen posting here I see some fuck poems - a genre which rarely ever works - some doggerel - and some poems which actually rhyme (what a confusing concept to a modernist).
I don't like to choose favorite poems because to me it's too subjective a call - favorite poems aren't necessarily the best poems--it could just be that I was too stupid to see the merit in an alternative if I tried to do that.
so short and sweet--that's it for today.
Carl
mojo_cat
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2003
- Posts
- 144
*bump*
the reviews are in that new poet chit chat thread, along with some seriously happenin' dick jokes
ps. i'm back and stuff
pps. please don't judge me by the poems i posted today; i just wanted to say hello and let you know what i'd been up to; some actual stuff i'm working on is coming soon, if you're interested.
also, look at all the new people! hey, everybody! place looks nice, you redecorated.
the reviews are in that new poet chit chat thread, along with some seriously happenin' dick jokes
ps. i'm back and stuff
pps. please don't judge me by the poems i posted today; i just wanted to say hello and let you know what i'd been up to; some actual stuff i'm working on is coming soon, if you're interested.
also, look at all the new people! hey, everybody! place looks nice, you redecorated.
JCSTREET
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2004
- Posts
- 1,987
Corrects bad link in my review of Jim Serra's poem
Jim Serra - whose emotions may sometimes range to the far, bleak places of the heart - always amazes with his economy - while explorers generally carry spare supplies, this poet carries no spare words - this concept of spareness is--in fact-- contained in the German word for poet (dichtjunst/dichtkunstler???) I was once told --and is the hardest concept to get across to emerging poets
His poem Your Immolation amazes and challenges and may require several readings to absorb - I wonder if it has anything to do with destructive, co-dependent (addictive) relationships - but that's just me.
---
I see your immolation
and feel the heat
coursing
from you
I see confusion
naked… your soul bared you a r e
c o n s u m e d in flame,
and I try to walk away,
but can't. I turn away… sobbing.
I can't remember lighting the match (spontaneous combustion?)
I turn back to you (feeling the heat)
and reach out
I touch the fire,
feel it sear my skin,
the pervasive scent
of our burning flesh
is so thick I taste it.
I smile now, tasting your fire
and walk away, sated,
until you burn again
Jim Serra - whose emotions may sometimes range to the far, bleak places of the heart - always amazes with his economy - while explorers generally carry spare supplies, this poet carries no spare words - this concept of spareness is--in fact-- contained in the German word for poet (dichtjunst/dichtkunstler???) I was once told --and is the hardest concept to get across to emerging poets
His poem Your Immolation amazes and challenges and may require several readings to absorb - I wonder if it has anything to do with destructive, co-dependent (addictive) relationships - but that's just me.
---
I see your immolation
and feel the heat
coursing
from you
I see confusion
naked… your soul bared you a r e
c o n s u m e d in flame,
and I try to walk away,
but can't. I turn away… sobbing.
I can't remember lighting the match (spontaneous combustion?)
I turn back to you (feeling the heat)
and reach out
I touch the fire,
feel it sear my skin,
the pervasive scent
of our burning flesh
is so thick I taste it.
I smile now, tasting your fire
and walk away, sated,
until you burn again
normal jean
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 13, 2004
- Posts
- 1,193
Re: REVIEWS THURSDAY JUNE 3 2004 - ABOUT 40 POEMS
WOW!! carl,. thanks for the mention, it means a lot.Yes, the name is a play on Norma Jean, I adore marilyn in any form. I dont write much under this name, you all, most of you anyway,know me better as Maria
thanks again for the very kind review
NJ
JCSTREET said:
WOW!! carl,. thanks for the mention, it means a lot.Yes, the name is a play on Norma Jean, I adore marilyn in any form. I dont write much under this name, you all, most of you anyway,know me better as Maria
thanks again for the very kind review
NJ
JCSTREET
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2004
- Posts
- 1,987
WOW--THANKS Jean
Thanks for pasting in the reviews - I posted them to the chat thread in error--in haste because my cable is popping in and out --uh--as it were.
Kindess is not in my vocabulary when reviewing (although I occasionally err if I know someone has tried hard and is very sad and cries a lot (ex-cathedra psychiatry)
You earned the review by doing good work Jean--that's how it works.
carl
Thanks for pasting in the reviews - I posted them to the chat thread in error--in haste because my cable is popping in and out --uh--as it were.
Kindess is not in my vocabulary when reviewing (although I occasionally err if I know someone has tried hard and is very sad and cries a lot (ex-cathedra psychiatry)
You earned the review by doing good work Jean--that's how it works.
carl
tungtied2u
Not necessary
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 2,704
Re:Wet-n-wild Wednesday reviews
Sorry I made you cry, Syn. Glad you felt the need to. (Sorry for the delay, still trying to sort out how to do this.)
Sorry I made you cry, Syn. Glad you felt the need to. (Sorry for the delay, still trying to sort out how to do this.)
Syndra Lynn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2004
- Posts
- 907
Re: Re:Wet-n-wild Wednesday reviews
Welcome to our world!
tungtied2u said:
Welcome to our world!
tungtied2u
Not necessary
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 2,704
Re:Re:Re:Wet and Wild,etc
Orange glow- smoldering, yet comforting.Somewhere between inferno and ashes. Comfortably hot!
Grandma Goddess- you are lucky to have someone like her. I hold someone like her in my heart as well. Thanks for helping me think of her.She is deserving of mention, as your Grandma certainly is.
Orange glow- smoldering, yet comforting.Somewhere between inferno and ashes. Comfortably hot!
Grandma Goddess- you are lucky to have someone like her. I hold someone like her in my heart as well. Thanks for helping me think of her.She is deserving of mention, as your Grandma certainly is.
G
Guest
Guest
Re: REVIEWS THURSDAY JUNE 3 2004 - ABOUT 40 POEMS
Carl, thank you for the mention of my poem and another poet's interpretation. You (along few others who caught it in my public comments) have a keen eye, as the part you quoted was the nucleus for my fellatio-metaphoric ramble
- neo
JCSTREET said:
Carl, thank you for the mention of my poem and another poet's interpretation. You (along few others who caught it in my public comments) have a keen eye, as the part you quoted was the nucleus for my fellatio-metaphoric ramble
- neo
Syndra Lynn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2004
- Posts
- 907
Re: Re:Re:Re:Wet and Wild,etc
Why, thank you TT! You are so sweet.
Syn
tungtied2u said:
Why, thank you TT! You are so sweet.
Syn
Syndra Lynn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2004
- Posts
- 907
Syndra Lynn
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2004
- Posts
- 907
Liar said:Syn:
Yer a doll.
The blow up inflatable kind?
Syn
