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new poems

3/5 musings

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A nice example erotic poetry ...
The Tamer by WickedEve

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If I boldy assume that teacher and student are both consenting adults,
then "I lose the chronology of the kisses" is a great line.
Teacher's Pet by catastrophe

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You don't have to agree with the message, to agree that this is a nice poem.
My Boy by Angeline

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If you like hallmark cards, then you'll like this one. Else probably not.
Endsong by Philbie

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Not profound by any stretch, but fun in a scribbled on the men's room wall sort of way.

Ode to lilminx's Tush by SadnonMage

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for a practical pearl of wisdom, read:
finally by 03sp


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a quiet toast.
Who Was That Soldier? by American Woman

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I talk fast, and read fast, so naturally liked this one.
just super by 03sp


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You don't have to agree with the message, to agree that this is a nice poem.

My Boy by Angeline

Thank you for the mention, OT. I'm a little fond of that kid--can you tell? :)
 
I thank you, OT
two mentions, that is special.
Glad you liked "just super"
I uploaded an audio version too.
Don't know if it got lost or delayed.
be well,
sp
 
am reading backward today

Thank you, Eve
You know I appreciate your mention.
:rose:
 
*smile* Thanks magnolia... No, never dated him, but did show up at his show... He's one of those half fantasies you wonder why you had... I never thought much of my poetry, but I'll start posting more if it's wanted.

*grin* The best part is, I have him for the second time this semester and we often freewrite... it's funny writing something like this during that time...

--cat
 
3/6/03 new poems

Okay,

Just a reminder that I am on the west coast. My reviews will be early for me, but late to you folks in later time zones.

Here are some comments on today's new poems.

***************
ChaosKitten has a few to check out.
It's me
Sea Spectrum
Sisters of the Fertile Moon

They all hold some promise, but everyone (or so it seems) has the most potential.

I winced at some of the typos (sorry, Kitten, it's a pet peeve of mine...), but she has the seeds of some great poems. Go read and give her encouragement and feedback.
***************
Also worth checking out is a brand new poet,
sexychyra.

Her poem, The cost of dreams has some gems in it, such as:

I cry
staring into the fire as
it’s shadows lap the edges of our stone room.
Thinking of ways to phrase a dream

My only complaint (besides the typos!!! note: in the above excerpt, use "its" instead of "it's") is that it is all centered and I found it difficult to read. There was no obvious reason for that format, but I could be wrong.

Go read and give a newcomer a nice welcome.
***************
Go read Fagin by guiltypleasure.

Also, Michelle's Joke gave me a few giggles. Is that a true story, gp?
***************
There are a few posted today from honeysucklerose.

The one I thought worth reading again was Poetic Rules.

Again, lots of typos in most of her poems, (It should read "perhaps you're too literal") but perhaps some are intentional? Tootheless?

Do I sound like I'm on a soapbox? Sorry. Being the mother of 2 boys, I tend to rant about the quality of grammar. Would it hurt to have someone look over your poems before submitting them?

<Gets down off soapbox> Sorry.
***************
And the treasures I found in todays poems:
~~~~~~~
The usual wonderful fare from 03sp, but I loved we are syrup in dreamland
~~~~~~~
Angeline has (yet another) fine poem in Far Away My Friend, which includes wonderful phrases like

no glib flyer
on a digital trapeze

Lovely. (Oh, and Ang? It's spelled "Caliban" :) )
~~~~~~~
And I must add in the early bent poem by The_Fool.

Though I thought the intro he included was completely unnecessary, I found the poem itself very compelling.

Go read it. Or wait until tomorrow to read it with everyone else's.
***************

Happy reading!


Cordelia
 
my dear Cordelia-

Thank you for kind words.
I am very happy that you liked "we are syrup in dreamland"
It's my favorite too.


Writing for friends
to and in front of
is a blessing in clothing
hearing favor from respect
is warmth in nakedness
 
Merci

Thank you for the mention, blithe spirit!

. . . and for catching my typo. I wrote the poem really late last night. Still, it's ironic today of all days to make that typo because my son is reading his first Shakespeare play--MacBeth--and we went over of the great soliloquies tonight. (You know, Cordie, the one where MacBeth lays out the pros and cons of getting away with killing Duncan.) I explained it line by line--plot, theme, imagery and the various levels on which the images work. And he looked awed! It was a great moment in parent history. And he said "It's really beautiful, Mom." And I replied "That's why people devote a lifetime to studying the plays blah blah blah. I felt imbued with literary something (hot air, probably). And then...

I misspelled Caliban. . .the brute!

Sigh. :eek:
 
Last edited:
I'm almost embarrassed - but in a nice way, thank you.

"Michelle's Joke" has not a jot of truth in it, Cordy. :D
 
Re: Merci

Angeline said:
Thank you for the mention, blithe spirit!

. . . and for catching my typo. I wrote the poem really late last night. Still, it's ironic today of all days to make that typo because my son is reading his first Shakespeare play--MacBeth--and we went over of the great soliloquies tonight. (You know, Cordie, the one where MacBeth lays out the pros and cons of getting away with killing Duncan.) I explained it line by line--plot, theme, imagery and the various levels on which the images work. And he looked awed! It was a great moment in parent history. And he said "It's really beautiful, Mom." And I replied "That's why people devote a lifetime to studying the plays blah blah blah. I felt imbued with literary something (hot air, probably). And then...

I misspelled Caliban. . .the brute!

Sigh. :eek:
Click to expand...

If you're going to misspell someone, it might as well be Caliban!

I love those literary moments that blink on in one's children's lives. My eight-year-old can quote whole passages of "Love's Labours Lost" (of course, it helps that he is a fanatic about musicals, and Kenneth Branagh made a musical out of it).

But you know how I feel about Shakespeare.

Aptly named,



Cordelia


(And, dang it, gp, I was hoping it was true.)
 
Cordelia said:

My eight-year-old can quote whole passages of "Love's Labours Lost"


You are the best, my dear friend! Your children are very lucky. When I was a girl and read the novel A Tree Grows in Brooklyn, I was so impressed that the mother read Shakespeare to the children when they were very young. I still remember that Francie, the main character, said "We didn't understand it and and neither did she. We though alarum meant a fire engine siren, and we thought that was funny." :)

I found that charming. Made me want to read Shakespeare to my kids someday.
 
Last edited:
March 7, 2003

Pssst. Wanna get bent? Click here,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here are my unbent favorites for today.

case notes by 03sp

Collage of Cophood graduate
Sergeant Bunny thumbs the evidence
sniffs the lonely slippers
thinks of his harey offspring
sniffing the pink and black slippery
gloss colored hose and polish and gloss
chin in paw he hops
clueless in a maze of human
excess well kept

suddenly, nothing occurs quite the same.
suddenly, there is a noise!


Forget Bugs. Forget Harvey. Forget the Velveteen Rabbit. There's a new hare in town and he may be cute, but he's intrepid. He's Sergeant Bunny and a graduate of the College of Cophood (which has some affirmative action plan, apparently). 03sp does it again and --not to my surprise--comes up with a poem that is utterly off the wall and charmingly wonderful. And that drawing! That rabbit face, full of watchful bunny awareness! That badge! I see movie rights, sp. Click on the link and read this. Now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jazz by jazm49

saxophone
muttering like a drunk lost in a dark alley
piano like rain
small thunder of drums
heart beat of bass

asymmetrical rhythm
of other and other
one and one

Be still my heart! A...a...jazz poem. And a poem that in my opinion really gets the...uh...sociojazziosexual... er...the overarching symbiosis between...um...well that jazz and sex should...um...have dinner and take in a movie together. Yeah that's it. The images are great in this poem: saxophones do mutter drunkenly sometimes, pianos can sound like rain, drums are thunder and heartbeat. With the exception of the last word, which I think diminishes what precedes it (I'd end with "Oh God," but that's my opinion), this poem is about perfect. If I were Lauren, I'd give it a cool little award icon, but I can't make those things.

Hey jazm49? Write more ok?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Conflicted by Mythos50

A sailor with experience not fit for storm this rough
Tries shifts of windward mast but finds this not enough,
For each try to come about brings more disrupted crew
Till rage of wind, torn sail’s grin, drives him into blue.

Wow! That's what I said after I read this. This poem--it almost feels like a prose poem to me--is an extended powerful image of a sailor struggling against a storm or, thematically, about struggle itself. To me, the content and the somewhat archaic sentence structure, echoes Herman Melville and Joseph Conrad--both novelists who obsessed on this theme. And it has some tiny phrases like "torn sail's grin" that are just marvelous. Great poem Mr. Mythos.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Production Values by Angeline

take off your jacket
let me dust your spine
read each character
and tag your file
in four colors

Yeah, I know it's my poem but I'm reviewing it anyway cause I'm still laughing looking at it. This poem is evidence that anything can be turned into a stupid double entendre. I should know. I wrote a similar poem about pizza. So here, we go behind the scenes of publishing production and find...ohmygosh. Cover your eyes! ...and he finished the book. Yayyyy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only Bent by OT


Padding after
in plastic-footed pajamas
worn through at the knees,
I followed him down the stairs.

"Someday,
I'm going to build a robot", I explained,
fingering the clutter on the bench.
"uh-huh", he agreed, while rummaging
through jars of screws and nails and wire.

This is a lovely tribute to grown-ups everywhere who make everything ok by kissing boo-boos and fixing bent favorite toys. There is a quiet authenticity here that perfectly conveys the scene, from the Dr. Denton pj's to the dad's admonition to "move your head" as he studies the toy and the boy's approval-seeking admission that he'll build a robot someday :) ). OT, I feel as if I walked into your childhood and saw what a good place it was.
 
Damn.....was I supposed to submit all that "all of a sudden passion suddenly" stuff? *LOL* I think I will go back and do one called Angeline.....;) :rose: :devil:
 
my dear Angeline

I am happy you liked that bunny thing, maybe there will be more.

in my snow pack lawn
a track appears
it is a platoon of Detective trainees
making a solitary indication
tutored in the shadow of Sergeant Bunny,
who 30 years after his tragic disappearance
is still a station name,
He loved jazz the way it used to be,
Dearly missed, the cadets play Regina Carter
at each gathering,

what I meant to say was thank you.
:rose:
 
He loved jazz the way it used to be,
Dearly missed, the cadets play Regina Carter
at each gathering,

Oh he loved jazz, too? And old jazz! What a wabbit!

and you're welcome. :)
 
Thank you

The Fool said:

Damn.....was I supposed to submit all that "all of a sudden passion suddenly" stuff? *LOL* I think I will go back and do one called Angeline.....

Thank you, though I must admit that aside from writing and jazz I'm incredibly apathetic. ;)
 
To Angeline...

Thank you for the kind words. :rose:

I confess, I do not know Herman Melville and Joseph Conrad, yet I feel soon I shall. I believe that's nine names in total;)

Ever learning,

Mythos
 
Re: March 7, 2003

Angeline said:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only Bent by OT

This is a lovely tribute to grown-ups everywhere who make everything ok by kissing boo-boos and fixing bent favorite toys. There is a quiet authenticity here that perfectly conveys the scene, from the Dr. Denton pj's to the dad's admonition to "move your head" as he studies the toy and the boy's approval-seeking admission that he'll build a robot someday :) ). OT, I feel as if I walked into your childhood and saw what a good place it was.
Click to expand...

wow, Thank you.
A nice review feels better than getting a boo-boo :kiss:'d
 
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