new poems

[Rybka]

Doubling Up

We could rotate Mondays between us.

Eve, OT, Cord, Angeline, me and Rybka, if everyone's up to it. If Cordie does this week, Ange would do next and I would do the following and so forth...

I wouldn't mind taking on an extra day now and then, but I "do" Sunday so I am not sure that I want to do two days in a row. However, I guess I could do it every six weeks. If someome will remind me, and if you all don't mind a grumpy fish. (I had my other eye done today, but as yet it is not seeing very clearly. )

Regards,                       Rybka

 

[Guest]

Cordelia,


Thank you for the mention.
By the time that was posted last night I was busy looking out the window at reflections within.

 

[Angeline]

Thank You, OT

Maybe a cross between "Harper Valley PTA", "Take This Job and Shove It", and perhaps some "Thelma and Louise" sprinkled on top.
It rambles (just a bit), but I like the feel and intensity.
My favorite line is "...Predictions weary me..." What a nice expression of exasperation.
Muse Grows Up by Angeline

Given our long-standing friendship, I forgive you for the (wince) Harper Valley PTA reference. Lol. Please don't make me feel like a soccer mom again, ok? It's too depressing.

I have weird ambivalent feelings about this poem, and I debated posting it. I think I have the "Will-winter-never-end" blues, and it's affecting my equalibrium. But I also feel it reflected some very honest emotions--including I guess a desire for Innisfree. Wish I were there now--there's no grey snow there, yknow.

 

[WickedEve]

Thanks, now I can't get this image out of my head of a naked old lady in a walker, who slips on the tube of lube, and croaks "Help. I've fallen and I can't get it up."

If that image stays in there too long it'll turn into a fetish for you. You won't be able to get it up without thinking about it. You'll close your eyes and see her wrinkled, dangling flesh whipping around as she bumps and grinds against her walker like a naughty granny. Think about it, OT.

 

[Angeline]

Rybka Fishie

If you want to switch review days on the week you do Monday, let me know. Friday is only slightly better, but at least it isn't two consecutive days.

Now turn off your computer and rest that fishly eye!

 

[Angeline]

Thanks, now I can't get this image out of my head of a naked old lady in a walker, who slips on the tube of lube, and croaks "Help. I've fallen and I can't get it up."

So that's what happened to the Bucket o' Lube Lauren and I gave Eve for Christmas!

 

[WickedEve]

Thanks, now I can't get this image out of my head of a naked old lady in a walker, who slips on the tube of lube, and croaks "Help. I've fallen and I can't get it up."

So that's what happened to the Bucket o' Lube Lauren and I gave Eve for Christmas!

That was lube?! Damn. I baked with it. It really kept my muffins from sticking.

 

[Angeline]

That was lube?! Damn. I baked with it. It really kept my muffins from sticking.

Didn't you notice the improvement in your digestion?

 

[WickedEve]

Yes, things tend to slide down more easily. My goodness, I find myself swallowing all the time now.

 

[JUDO]

Re: Poems 3/10/03

~~~~~~~
Tears of the Burning Bed by JUDO

A steamy sonnet worth reading. It made me sweat.
~~~~~~~

TY, Cords. Glad you eh... liked it. Did I get your meter right?

heh-heh.


- Judo

 

[Cordelia]

New poems 3/13/03

Here are my picks from the new poems today.

***************
There was one poem I read again and again and still find myself wanting to read one more time:

orio by Senna Jawa

Here is an excerpt from this eminently readable poem:

the orioles have left
charged by the Sun of Summer
i brace myself
for the winter orion

[...]

It gets better each time I read it.
~~~~~~~

The enchanting stargirl32 gives us a late shadow theater. But the wistful sketch was worth the wait.

She also gave us an early Prodigal of blue. Read it now or wait until Saturday. It is a lovely haiku. It'll keep well if you'd rather wait.
~~~~~~~

03sp has several poems posted - all of them gems. The most polished and faceted of these (in my opinion) was improvisation - just read it. You won't be sorry.
***************

Those are my picks for "must-reads"





***************
Here are the ones I found that I thought had some promise:

Tribute by M.A.Thompson ©

This didn't jump out at me, at first, but I found I liked some of the lines such as:

Never-ending stories that sometimes do and
Forget-me-nots that never will.
~~~~~~~
And another fine poem by silken_dreammaid:

card games
~~~~~~~
And the lovely poem by Blue Dolphin

Full Circle

which has the line I said outloud several times:

Whispers walking in dead men’s shoes

Lovely.
***************

Thanks to all the poets who let us peek into your souls.

Cordelia

 

[Guest]

My Dear Cordelia

such nice things you say and when reading it is like I can tell you are smiling.
I am too.

sp

 

[Cordelia]

Re: Re: Poems 3/10/03

TY, Cords. Glad you eh... liked it. Did I get your meter right?

heh-heh.


- Judo

Apparently, you got it just right.


Blushing,


Cordelia

 

[Angeline]

One More

Cordie I'm with you on the picks--some great poems posted today. The 03sp set were all terrific, but I wanted to single out my favorite of them because it made me laugh with the zen-like ring of its truth:

sure things by 03sp

Playing with destiny,
getting smacked for the effort

Surfing destiny,
practically drowned

Flirting at destiny,
sleep alone

Works for me 03sp--I may want that one in needlepoint and framed.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Re: New poems 3/13/03

Here are my picks from the new poems today.

~~~~~~~
And the lovely poem by Blue Dolphin

Full Circle

which has the line I said outloud several times:

Whispers walking in dead men’s shoes

Lovely.
***************



Cordelia

Cordelia dear lady

I am honoured by your words
Thank you so much

 

[silken_dreammaid]

Thanks for the mention, Cordelia. Is glad you liked it.
~smiles~



silken

 

[Angeline]

March 14, 2003

Better late than never--two from the 14th that caught my eye.

Jump Back! by Chicklet

Jump back!
It moves again!
Forward backwards
Everywhere!

Jump back!
It’s sucking up!
It’s sucking the floor into its mouth!
Jump back lest it swallow you whole!

This poem and the wonderful photo that accompanies it made me laugh and laugh. Does Chicklet know her cat behavior or what? (Although I had a 130-pound German Shepherd-Great Dane doggie who was terrified of the vacuum cleaner, and he could have eaten it for lunch.)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are Not the Same by WickedEve

I know soles will not sink into noon marsh
nor palms block midday moon

I will sleep in comfort against cool texture
not in space nor ocean
never again restless in your dreams

A silver lining within a cloud: the relief one finds in being freed from being an object of desire, beautifully, poetically stated by the Wicked One.

 

[Mythos50]

bumping replies to a new number... call me superstitous and a bad speller

 

[Lauren Hynde]

March 15th, 2003

I was planning on posting my review of the New Poems now, but since the list was updated much earlier than it's usual, leaving out some Prodigal of Blue poems, I think it's only fair we wait for them.

In the mean time, you can go and read the ones that are posted here! There are very good poems in there: congratulations!

The non-Prodigal of Blue section of the new poetry list today was a disappointing. The exception was

LDR Dead
by Blue Dolphin ©

with a broken-hearted tale of modern days.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: March 15th, 2003

I was planning on posting my review of the New Poems now, but since the list was updated much earlier than it's usual, leaving out some Prodigal of Blue poems, I think it's only fair we wait for them.

In the mean time, you can go and read the ones that are posted here! There are very good poems in there: congratulations!

The non-Prodigal of Blue section of the new poetry list today was a disappointing. The exception was

LDR Dead
by Blue Dolphin ©

with a broken-hearted tale of modern days.

Blue Dolphin's poem really is good. I love this phrase of his: "my hologram of hope"

 

[Mythos50]

3/15/03

Here are a few I noticed:

= = = = = = =
In So Many Ways by All by myself © has good beginnings with contrasting images and ideas. I like the topics in the poem and you are on track with the imagery. You lose me, your reader, with the title: perhaps the poem would read better without the title being repeated at the beginning of each stanza. Then you would not have so much being repeated and distracting your readers from your message.

Hearts by All by myself © has a compelling simplicity. It is contrast and imagery nicely presented, and better seen with each read. I gave it a second read, then a third and let the images come, not so much from the words but from my own heart’s experiences.

= = = = = = =
Boxed Perfection by Ms.Pierced ©

Call me Mr. Simplicity but I like poems that are short and direct and give me imagery I can relate to. Ms.Pierced may not be the most eloquent writer but gets the point across. A few things honed and this poem will too.

= = = = = = =
Stone throw away by Lordknightspoetry ©


Let me put my reader’s robe back on. LK, there is a mood set in your poem and you carry it well throughout the lines as you stay pretty much on the topic. I like philosophical questioning of one’s existence and can relate to what you are attempting in your poem.

As your reader (and I hope this does not sound preachy) I need to be able to relate to your experience or mood or emotional suffering by the images you bring to my mind. That is your job, to artfully use words to convey images, and more. Forced rhymes, repetitive word usage (just), misspelled words (now it’s too late), clichés, and repetitive descriptive images lead me to conclude you (and I cannot believe I am saying this OT!) did not give enough thought to the literal read of your poem. “Rock” and “Stone” each convey separate images, why are you mixing them together? “My heart is like a rock thrown away” or “My heart is like a stone thrown away”, which do you like better? Your poem boxes me in and I cannot escape to the essence beneath the words, to my own invoked images.
= = = = = = = = =

Bewitching by BlessedBe ©

Merriam-Webster: 2) : at this or that time : so soon as now <not time to go yet> b : continuously up to the present or a specified time : STILL <is yet a new country> c : at a future time :

"Seductive, yet angelic at the same time" – using 'yet' and 'at the same time' is saying the same thing, is it not? My opinion.

Perhaps titling this “My Eyes” would be better since “Bewitching” is not really your topic and needs to be in the poem. Then again, maybe I am missing the point of your poem.

Bewitching is what he said
Seductive, yet angelic
Windows to my soul
Luring him to me

You do have lovely eyes, BlessedBe, and lovely sentiments in your poem.
= = = = = = =

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Re: March 15th, 2003

The non-Prodigal of Blue section of the new poetry list today was a disappointing. The exception was

LDR Dead
by Blue Dolphin ©

with a broken-hearted tale of modern days.

Many thanks Lauren,
it was written for someone who is there as I type.
Your words are valued dear lady

 

[Blue Dolphin]

Re: Re: March 15th, 2003

Blue Dolphin's poem really is good. I love this phrase of his: "my hologram of hope"

Thank you lovely Eve

 

[stargirl32]

Re: New poems 3/13/03

The enchanting stargirl32 gives us a late shadow theater. But the wistful sketch was worth the wait.

She also gave us an early Prodigal of blue. Read it now or wait until Saturday. It is a lovely haiku. It'll keep well if you'd rather wait.
~~~~~~~

thank you

 

[Rybka]

new poems of 3/16/03

Today brings us 23 new poems of which Judo has ruined the value and flavor of 22.


Since I mentioned 03sp's Prodigal of Blue blue yesterday I won't mention it or any other of his 4 new poems today.

Judo is a day late with her Prodigal of Blue, but definitely not a dollar short!
And she is late with reason. Even the Lit. "Mistress of Quick & Cool" couldn't have just churned this one out in one short session! This is a MUST read, and if you are a jazz fan, as many here are, you will hate yourself forever if you do not vote this poem a 5! This poem deserves a giant E if any ever has.
It is almost sacrilege to yank a sample quote out of context, but here is an example of the powerful imagery that Judo creates throughout this masterful work.

...
So many signposts that we're puzzled
By which fork to take, which path to turn --
Yet diggin' this echo of blue so hard
That it's like melting maple syrup and butter,
Cascading down the sides of Mama's
Warm pancakes warming our hearts
As it fills our bellies with a blue pudding of cool.
...

Angeline also presents a very good jazz interpretation of Prodigal of Blue, well worth the read, but after just being awestruck by Judo, "very good" just seems like a let down. My suggestion? Read this one first.

...
This ain't no union hall.
It's Church!

The pews filled with old believers,
nod and sway to one other,
still holding on.
Come back once more
to clink ice, finger smile tears away,
and listen to Brother Joseph
knock all the years back,
thundering good news to rafters
filled of blue smoke
and benevolent blue ghosts,
while Hootie rills another chorus.

Someone else will have to evaluate the non-blue poems. (Please read them first!) I have read them all and found nothing worth a mention by any of the newer poets, and even silken's poem and Angie's other leave a bland taste in my mouth after Judo.


Regards,                       Rybka