new poems

[Angeline]

April 11--Danger Will Robinson

My computer is acting verrrry ill, so you are getting an abbreviated version of the new poems reviews for today. Yes there's more to come and it may come later tonight or tomorrow, depending on my laptop's state of health. Grrrr.


A Tale of Real Life by 03sp

I wanted to meet partially nude women
so hung around artists and glass doors
facing east, sometimes west or south
if cold

Well you know 03sp--he's just not like the other boys: he wants to meet *partially* nude woman. And where does it get him, hmmm? Slapped and bruised in a poodle puddle muddle. (Maybe you can stand in a black light next time and meet fully clothed, but glowing women. ) Thank you for this terrific and quirky little slice of prosetry, 03--I loved it!


a felt bump by 03sp

personality has texture
able to be felt
further down
kneaded deeper
than look or reach
may glean

There's an old saying about 03sp poems: If you don't like this one, look a few poems down the list. (Ok, it's not an old saying; I just made it up.) In fact, I never met an 03sp poem I out and out didn't like--the range seems to run from decent to ****ing brilliant, IMHO. Anyway. Beauty is skin deep, but personality is "kneaded deeper" than knee deep as our friend cleverly points out. And what the hell--while you're at it, check out this other poem, look in there , in which 03 seems to be sneaking around, hiking things, and uh there's um ice and, for all I know, alka seltzer tablets, and um it's a good poem, so read it.


Late Tonight by FabMax

I am writing to myself
SEARCHING for
THE un of the answered
HOW delicious most dreamlike
TO figure
THE constant mystery
MY mentor, my mate.

Fabmax has posted a few poems as well today, and they are lovely love poems indeed, but this is the quirkier of the pair, which appeals to me. I especially love the stanza reprinted here. Fab, I spend most of my life searching for the "un" of the "answered--that line just delighted me because it is yes a muy delicioso cosa to ponder, as is the rest of your poem.



simple then by OT

bumping down gravel roads
on smooth bench seats
well suited for sliding close

leaning tight around corners
letting shy jostled hands slip
from knees to inner thighs

love and lust were same

Here's a cool poem from OT. He writes a lot of poems that have this effect--they seem very understated, but there's alot going on in a spare, quiet way. Look how he has, in seven short lines, created a scene that is not only visual, but active--can't you just *feel* that car bumping over the gravel? And aural--I hear the sound of the wheels on the gravel. And then you have a young couple shy but boy oh boy determined, lol. Who hasn't been there? (Well, ok not there in OT's car, but you know what I mean. Hey! OT! Stop that! hehe)

Really, read his poems--they are subtly delicious.

Oh well. Read the entries from T.M.D. and Silken Dreammaid--they're really good, too.

(I'm back, having tossed children--helter skelter--from this destop comuputer, which let me tell you was *not* easy even though I was the one who paid for this thing darnit, but I digress. Two points:

1. T.M.D.--I think stands for *T*his *M*an *D*oes cool things with alliteration, cause he does.

2. Silken_Dreammaid has a whole name and not just initials, but if she did they would stand for *S*he *D*oes cool things with verse.

Each of these gifted writers has particular strengths, which they use to good effect in their poems. Check it out.

Ok. NOW I'm done with the reviews.)

Stomping off Angry and Laptopless,
Angeline

I'm meltin.....


Be back sometime.

 

[silken_dreammaid]

Thanks for the mention, Angeline... and crossing fingers, eyes and all sorts of things for your laptop's recovered health.


silken

 

[T.M.D.]

Re: April 11--Danger Will Robinson

1. T.M.D.--I think stands for *T*his *M*an *D*oes cool things with alliteration, cause he does.

2. Silken_Dreammaid has a whole name and not just initials, but if she did they would stand for *S*he *D*oes cool things with verse.

Each of these gifted writers has particular strengths, which they use to good effect in their poems. Check it out.

Many many thanks Angeline.
I am send ing you a personal message also
thank you agaian
TMD

 

[OT]

sheesh, Angeline, you make a wooden man blush.
Thank you for the generous review.

lapTopLess... sounds sorta like a kinky cyber thing

 

[Lauren Hynde]

April 12th, 2003

Let me start with a word to T.M.D.: if you're planning to get rid of your PS2, I could be persuaded to relieve you from it free of charge.

And now the new poems. There were 15 new offerings from 11 different poets, today. I read and voted in them all: there were a few 4's, but more 3's and 2's than what I would like to have given.

My favourites were:

-------------------------------------------------
in the darkness soft
by silken_dreammaid ©

[...]

The velvet richness
in the darkness soft
of the blinding folds
does not hide my grateful tears.

Dreammaid's commitment to write a poem every day, whilst maintaining this high level of quality throughout, has got to be commendable and an exemple to us all.

-------------------------------------------------
Perverse Boots
by Arden ©

Darkness singing in the cold glow
of glaring streetlights
she strides wildly as if possessed
resplendent in the agony of her perverse boots
wicked heels halt abruptly to listen
to the wailing of cold, shining metal
silken saxophone strains
wind themselves around fishnet legs
whispering a lascivious invitation
to join the cool madness
of the wayward night
[...]

This is a work in progress (follow this link to see it), but as is, it's already an impressive piece. Another follower of Angeline's school of jazz poetry.

-------------------------------------------------
Another poet whose work I enjoyed, today, was AngelicSub, especially To My Philosopher, From Your Poet and Owned. They both showed large potential and I'm hoping to see more of this poet. A very good start.

(Also, and this is very good news, she doesn't use T/that A/awful A/aggravating P/poetry K/killing D/s chat-room thing. Brava.)

-------------------------------------------------

 

[silken_dreammaid]

Thanks Lauren.....

although some days I think *S*lightly *D*emented would be more applicable in trying to write one a day...



silken

 

[Guest]

Angeline
when you review poems and write just stuff you sometimes seem to be striking the keyboard.
Thank you for your kind words and insight into?~me? myself…what??

 

[Angeline]

Striking

Angeline
when you review poems and write just stuff you sometimes seem to be striking the keyboard.
Thank you for your kind words and insight into?~me? myself…what??

Dear adored pal,

Oh you mean like INTENSE.

Sorry. haha


And you are your poems, no?

 

[Arden]

Re: April 12th, 2003

My favourites were:
-------------------------------------------------
Perverse Boots
by Arden ©

Darkness singing in the cold glow
of glaring streetlights
she strides wildly as if possessed
resplendent in the agony of her perverse boots
wicked heels halt abruptly to listen
to the wailing of cold, shining metal
silken saxophone strains
wind themselves around fishnet legs
whispering a lascivious invitation
to join the cool madness
of the wayward night
[...]

This is a work in progress (follow this link to see it), but as is, it's already an impressive piece. Another follower of Angeline's school of jazz poetry.
-------------------------------------------------

Thank you, Lauren, for both mentioning my work and for voting. It means a lot to me just knowing that it has some potential.

Goodness, I can only dream of writing half as well as Angeline... I love her poetic style. I am amazed at how many truly talented writers and poets there are at Lit, yourself included.

Thank you again,
Arden

 

[Guest]

Re: 9-30-02

Sanity Injection by nakedangelina

Slipping down sandpaper walls,
melding into beige oblivion.
The need for anonymity
battles a delusional fever,
a dingy bathroom corner
becomes his comfort zone.
Feel good flight just ‘round
the bend, doctor doctor
tilt the world back level
with your sanity injection,
a promissory protection.
His sacrilegious infection
passed through generations
sealed his fate prior to birth.
The fight having left him
days ago, months ago, years
ago of wasted time and space.
He yields to destruction
now in the dirty corner
of his comforting bathroom;
they find him there weeks later.


I just like this whole poem. It feels like a fever, like the way you feel when you have a fever. And don't you just know that the walls of oblivion are beige?

if that was mine you would find fault with it somehow.
Beige? C'mon!!!!

 

[Rybka]

new poems on 4/13/03

Today brings us 24 new poems. Most of them at best average for Lit. Among those better are:
The daily required four by 03sp
Reading Allowed
flavorable interruptus
a friend
The Drive Inn

And the one by silken_dreammaid:
Cold nights and rain
Two views separated by time and innocence.

Also, if you haven’t already read this poem by CrowSingsOver she has posted her Yemana this morning. It’s short enough that I won’t quote from it. Just click and go read it.

Finally, here is an interesting read in an archaic style. One with which you can scare the kids at bedtime, especially if you can read with a brogue.
Brannon`s L by T.M.D.

Brannon’s Lodge lies deep in the glen
beyond McFadden’s Ridge
across the lakes of Nelda
aside the seventh bridge
...

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[WickedEve]

Weir(d)
by Rybka ©

This gets a bit tongue twisty at the end, doesn't it?
Go read it!

 

[silken_dreammaid]

Thanks for the mention, Rybka..



silken

 

[Cordelia]

new poems 4/14/03

Well, we have 14 new poems today, and, surprisingly, the majority of them were worth a second and third reading.

~~~~~~~
Of course, it helps that we had five offerings from 03sp, whose poems are nearly always above average.

blank slate
slam bam intellectual
please
republican wives

And my favorite, monkey cave, because....ummm....well, just go read it.
~~~~~~~
And our daily offering from silken_dreammaid:

blind rosemary

Haunting poem with vivid imagery and a delightful rhyme scheme.
~~~~~~~
RazzRajen has a great one (and only one!) in his offering:

Bone hard

A nice tribute to one aspect of a lover's beauty...
~~~~~~~
New-ish poet ravenheart has two nice poems that show us why it's twice as nice to be bi...

In Praise of Cock
Memorial Day With G.
~~~~~~~
And please welcome another new poet who has the delightful name of auntiehistamine and she gives us the poem:

Questionnaire

A delight! I highly recommend this poem of ....umm......questions.
~~~~~~~

Go read and give feedback, and vote if you feel the urge.


Cordelia


And, please, if anyone wants to take over Thursday or Monday, please let me know... I'll try not to whine too much. -C

 

[CrowSingsOver]

THANKS!

Oh, Rybka! Thank you for thinking so highly of my poem. I'd hug ya if I wasn't worried about getting wet!



-Crow

 

[WickedEve]

4-15

Americans, have you finished your taxes?

Today's poems offer us poetry from the regulars and from some new poets.

Does anyone remember Senna Jawa? Well, you'll enjoy his poem if you ignore all the [&nbap;] Senna, you need to edit and replace the "a" with "s"

no win situation
by Senna Jawa ©

Paintings and art hang around -- an oasis,
In every corner flowers in vases -- Why
does a guy shit on the fan? A good question.
You're advised to leave the room then.

----------

Some sp poems I enjoy more than others. I really like them all but sometimes they cause a bit of confusion. Anyway, I very much enjoyed this one.

reasons we share paper
by 03sp ©

different words on single sheet
opposite
if folded would kiss

mine and yours
quite stiffly
coquettish reach

----------

And two more poems by two poets we all know:

Promising touch
by silken_dreammaid ©

Meandering On A Soft Spring Day..
by Ancient117331 ©

----------

And here's some good poetry by some new (or slightly used) poets:

Joe
by Beauteous ©

How can she
Of the pixy eyes and midnight hair
Be called Joe?
It hurts my tongue to say it.
Delicate nails painted peach
Sweep the air
Like gusts of blossoms

Also by Beauteous:
The Other Woman
Michelangelo

---------

And you may want to check out:
We are equal
by Ginger_grl ©

 

[T.M.D.]

Re: new poems on 4/13/03

Finally, here is an interesting read in an archaic style. One with which you can scare the kids at bedtime, especially if you can read with a brogue.
Brannon`s L by T.M.D.


Regards, Rybka

Thank you dear Rybka.
The correct title is Brannon`s Lodge, and I srewed up.
So today I deleted Brannons L, and resubmitted it, my apologies to all when it re appears
(archaic)TMD

Maybe I should now write Kevin the Caveman, grinning
ty Rybka

 

[silken_dreammaid]

Thank you to Cordelia and Eve for their mentions the last couple of days..


silken

 

[Guest]

thank you eve

nice of you to mention
glad I stopped in, big storming here.
sp

 

[Guest]

Cordelia

thank you, Dear for many mention.
sorry to see you will not be as active in review but hope you prosper by your time and all friendships.
Will miss you and thank you.
sp

 

[Cordelia]

03sp

I am not cutting down on review time, though I wish I could. I was just hoping someone would take over Thursday or Monday. Until someone volunteers, I will do both...

<sigh>

 

[OT]

Wednesday's Poems

Thirty Six new poems today.

Go frolic amongst them
immerse, safely wade
test with your toe --
meekly peek if it's more your style

rummage around
find a word a phrase a stanza a poem
that
sounds good on your ear
feels good on your tongue
or <gasp> tingles your nether region

mull, savor, send feedback
maybe post a link



(Please, pity me now whilst real life whisks me away to very (very) non-poetic endeavors.)

 

[RazzRajen]

Thanks, Cordelia for the mention....I figured I would spare the readers and post once in a while...

 

[Angeline]

April 16

I've been less available for critiquing of late, so let me step in for the work weary OT. My access to Lit has been funky today, so I'll post what I have thus far and add as I can.

As always, anyone who wants to step up to the plate should feel free. This doesn't have to be a one man (or woman) show.

Such an Attentive Lover by sojournerwolf

Such an attentive lover...

Laughing eyes above soft smile stir
desires into currents of warmth as
with tender touch and gentle kiss

he undresses you, until you would

swear every inch of your skin has
been caressed; the flow of your

wanting growing even stronger when
his lips first touch your breasts;
slowly and with care he draws from

This is one of a group of submissions from sojournerwolf, all of which I really enjoyed reading. This effort is a great example of a really well-written longer erotic poem. That 'genre' is so often done painfully badly here at Lit, but Wolf's version sings. Take a stroll through his other poems while you're at it--some really teriffic stuff there.


ball by 03sp

it sputtered feigning mindlessness,
how can something so beautiful
be mindless?
how can something visible only
to me be mindless?
hover with only slight odor?

There is also a group of 03sp submissions today. I think this poem is especially good--a clear memory that comes to life with strong visual and aural imagery.

the guy who kicks too much by 03sp

it was like lightening
struck the moon
all Luna of it

I had to mention this 03sp effort, too, for a few reasons.

First, there's been some talk here lately about whether titles matter. (I wish they didn't because I'm bad at dreaming them up.) This poem has a great title--03's poems often do--and it really confirms for me the pro compelling title argument. I was giggling before I even read the poem because it's a funny image and it just drew me to read. Second, that image of lightning striking the moon is so strange and beautiful--I really like it--must have been some storm.

Enjoy today's 03sp entries--they are all well worth your time.

Sheets in Season by neonurotic

Bare skin on skin
finds sleepy comfort
in warm flannel.
Soon enough
will be time for
slipping between
cool cotton sheets
for many a hot
sensual nights
still yet to come.

That's the whole thing--short enough to reprint in its entirety.

This is a lovely little poem. It only gives two abbreviated images, but the contrast between snuggly warm flannel in winter and cool crisp cotton in summer can conjure worlds of memories. Sometimes short and simple is just right.

music cycles by silken_dreammaid

a weaving spell held over
the listening ears
that lingers on after
the music disappears.

quietness permeated with echoes
slipping inexorably through,
distracting, annoying, pleasing,
inane lyrics difficult to subdue.

The more I read this poem by the astonishingly consistent ms. dreammaid, the more I like it.

I sometimes think I must sound like a broken record in these reviews, yammering on about great image, great image, but I'm about to say something new, lol. It occurs to me that the silken one is also consistently clear. Clarity, no matter how obscure the image one chooses to present, is much underrated in poetry, I think. And yet it's a quality that can really elevate one's writing.

Silken_dreammaid gives a wonderful example of that in this meditation on music, where she just throws one idea after another at us, each clearly--and beautifully--stated.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Re: 03sp

I am not cutting down on review time, though I wish I could. I was just hoping someone would take over Thursday or Monday. Until someone volunteers, I will do both...

<sigh>

I can take over Monday. I'm up when she updates the site anyway.