new poems

[Angeline]

-------------------------------------------------
For My Lover
by Angeline ©

My lover shares himself consistently;
He binds me to him with unfettered truth.
His honor honors me persistently.
Such constant wisdom bests inconstant youth.

[...]

This is, by far, the best poem of the day. Go read the rest of Angeline's fine crafted sonnet.

Thank you so much dear Lauren; you know I always appreciate you support. Not to blow my own horn, but I think this is the best sonnet I've written (and I'm not comparing it to anyone else's sonnets, only my own other ones--this is my 15th).

Sonnets are pretty easy actually, once you get the "music" of the meter in your head (much like memorizing a song--if you hear it often enough you'll remember every nuance of it). But the other really helpful guideline is that a traditional sonnet--Elizabethan here--also follows a thematic pattern.

An Elizabethan sonnet includes three quatrains (abab rhyme scheme) and one couplet. If you break it down, it goes like this:

1st Quatrain

Presents the subject or issue at hand. My sonnet starts with here's what I like about this person--he's honest; he keeps his word.

2nd Quatrain

Extrapolates a personal issue to a statement that is generally true for all--a universal. In this case, actions speak louder than words.

3rd Quatrain

Is sort of an explanation of the paticular effect caused by this subject. Here, the lines hypothesize that women who are treated with kindness and sincerity give back in turn. Thus, it's mutually beneficial--symbioc.

Couplet

Think summary, think pithy, and make it rhyme.

Try one! Just um no pussy sonnets for a few days, ok?

 

[SkipBoxx]

Try one! Just um no pussy sonnets for a few days, ok?

Okay, this isn't a sonnet, although I will write one soon. You've reminded me how great they are.. This is something I wrote, mostly in jest, to spark interest. It's not about a pussy..

You can call me Skip or Rick,
or you can call me Magic Dick.
Given the name from this one chick,
it's sure not a name I would pick..

But let me explain my nickname quick
while I'm on this funny poetic kick.
I'm not named after a magic trick,
it's because of my pierced prick.

You may think that sounds quite sick,
but it's not.. In fact, it's slick.
It's often harder than any brick.
It's pierced, long and very thick.

And every lady that's taken a lick
and then taken a ride upon my stick
says "OH MY GOD, I'm cumming" quick.
Thus I'm known as Magic Dick..

If' you would like to view my pic,
just find my profile and simply click..

 

[Angeline]

New Poems 6/5

Hey, it's not Friday! It's getting late though, and poor Cordelia is chasing children on a soccer field somewhere, so you're stuck with me today. Tomorrow, too. You can run, but you can't hide.


she gathers me with serpentine eyes by steve porter


her flicking tongue licking
at my cheeky cleavage
enflames my sexual desire

i will eat you she hisses
filling the anticipating air
with her amorous pledge

and so i prostrate myself
upon a persian carpet
as she crawls across my chest


Well now. That's um a warm little poem you wrote, poet person. Very cleverly done and a great extended metaphor that frames the poem.


Watching by dragonfeather

move into this moment
here with me
and hang here for hours
in the music's spiderweb
I can see you
now
shimmering as you move
glittering things like you
just draw the eye
I want to touch you
hold you and
smell the beat in your hair

I know you're thinking I like this poem because it starts with the word "Jazz" and--hmmm, could be, but it's also really well written. Wonderful images and phrasing, and I think the lack of punctuation works for it, allows for various readings of it.


Of Goats and Goethe by darkmaas A is for Angeline really likes it (my inaugural A, lol).


I teased her and she pouted.
“You’re trying to get my goat again.”
“Surely, I’ve got them all by now.”
She giggled and the jiggle
of her loins
ran laughing up my spine.
I vowed,
“I’ll be your lover and your gottherd.”
“Gottherd?”
“A man who tends to goats.”
“There’s no such word.”
“Of course there is,
like shepherd but with goats.”
“I’ve never heard it.”
“It’s not surprising.
Goats are out of fashion.”
“You made it up.”

My favorite poem of today's posts--it's loving and clever and erudite all at once. The extended image is powerfully narrative and thematically the poem sends--IMHO--a beautiful message about love that's as comfortable and good-natured as it is sexy. Well done, darkmaas, have some scotch.


words in a row by Palau

where do the little roads go?
straight to summits
meant for falling from,
back peddling, reverse fishing,

I sailed a solemn soliloquy
billowing
to here

where I stand
all bumpy to dance
with you again

My favorite of three posts today from this poet. I love the way the tone is balanced between wistful and determined.


That's it for me today. If Cordelia were here, she'd tell you to read the poems and send feedback. So do!

 

[Palau]

angeline

thanks to you for mentioning my poem

 

[Cordelia]

Thank you, Angeline!

Even after running about with dozens of 11-year-old boys on a soccer field, I decided I had enough energy to read the new poems.

I agree with Ang on darkmaas' poem. I wish he would write more. I have enjoyed everything he's posted here. Trust me.
Go read them.

I also liked the poem Ang mentioned by dragonfeather. She has another posted that isn't quite as good as Watching, but it has some great imagery and a few incredible lines. Go read Something Like It.

There were several poems posted by katanablaze, most didn't jump out at me, but I confess I read pathways a few times. I am still not sure I like it, but there were some startling passages in there. Go read and judge for yourself.

And, finally, I really loved the poem BLISS by Palau. Wow...

~~~~~~~

Thanks again, Ang. And everyone else....well, you know the drill.


Cordelia

 

[darkmaas]

Angeline and Cordelia

Thank you both.

I am starting a petition to have the size of the AVs increased. My head is swollen to the point that it hurts when I log out.

darkmaas

 

[Angeline]

Welcome

Angeline and Cordelia
Thank you both.

I am starting a petition to have the size of the AVs increased. My head is swollen to the point that it hurts when I log out.

darkmaas

Your poems are good, darkmaas. Write a lousy one and I'll start a thread to slap you around if you like.

 

[darkmaas]

Promises, promises.

 

[Angeline]

June 6

Hi again. Why it seems like just yesterday I was reviewing new poems here in the thread, and I. . .wait a minute! It *was* just yesterday, darnit. Poetry schmoetry (to quote some unmasked guy), Lauren's doin 'em tomorrow--not meeeee.

Ok. Where was I? Oh yeah, June 6th.

Coffee Shop by gossamer

His coffee long finished, he sits in the quiet
of morning, of dreams and memories...
Time spent dancing in the arms of love,
the joy of hard work that turned hands
into gnarled relics, monuments to life’s agonies.
Another beautiful woman passes by, like life,
moving on without a sideways glance.

This poem has Prufrock moments to my thinking. I've not seen a poem by gossamer before--he has just a few posted here, but I enjoyed reading "Coffee Shop" very much. It's articulate and moving in a quiet way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tides by Rybka

My pick of the day. This poem needs to be read in the format Rybka created for it, so I'll not paste an excerpt here, but please do read it--it's well worth your time!

Our piscatorial pal has written a poem that both graphically and thematically creates the sense of a ship moving endlessly through ocean swells. The words bob up and down as the narrator considers both blessings and regrets, but never stops moving. This is a beautiful and beautifully integrated poem. Let's here it for the uh perch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

elements of being by Maria2394

I know
you
as stars
fall
anxious
to reach
me,
to bring
a
simple
message:

Not alone,

countless
fallen
couriers
whisper
with
sparkles
of
fire

zinging
through
icy
atmosphere
and
towers
of clouds
doing
nothing
to lessen
their
fall

Another winner from Maria2394. We bring our own experiences to what we read, but this lovely piece about--to me--being lost and found and, overall, being accepted has both literal and figurative universal appeal. Poems are begetting thoughts of other poems for me today, I guess: this one has echoes of Neruda for me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ritual by OT

unscrew the cap

bottle neck clinks
then hovers to pour slow without splash
a single shot
straight
into an iceless oversized glass

three turns plus an extra tighten
screw on the cap
bottle set back
in the quietly closed
bottom drawer

reach
swirl
raise


This poem seems so straightforward but, like many pieces by my dear friend OT, there's more going on than first meets the eye. It's just a simple informational poem, right? But, look again--the mechanical presentation of detail raises questions about the benefit of the ritual. Interesting poem, OT, and welcome back.

 

[Rybka]

Tides by Rybka

My pick of the day. This poem needs to be read in the format Rybka created for it, so I'll not paste an excerpt here, but please do read it--it's well worth your time!

Our piscatorial pal has written a poem that both graphically and thematically creates the sense of a ship moving endlessly through ocean swells. The words bob up and down as the narrator considers both blessings and regrets, but never stops moving. This is a beautiful and beautifully integrated poem. Let's here it for the uh perch.

Thank you Angeline, for recognizing what I was attempting to do with Mermaid's composition. Of course, the ship and waves are a metaphor for love/sex, much clearer in her prose. To those who did not understand the spacing format, the work is meant to be read not just linearly, but in many directions, including vertically at certain places, such as:
swelling
------------------------------
on the waves of passion
------------------------------
in the moonlight
------------------------------
built and tumbling
------------------------------

or, multi- linearly, i.e.

so my lover
on the waves of passion
forever i pretend  +/- ^ this moment to last
in the moonlight
Moorish castles  +/- in the morning's harsh light ^
built and tumbling

etc. There are other several readings embedded (not all totally vertical), but I leave those to the reader.

I thank Laurel for her conversion to viewable protocol. There are only a very few mis-spacings, and I know how difficult proper spacing is! to Laurel

Regards,                                 Rybka

P.S. The s are supposed to be the opposite of the ^s, both meaning "insert this (in this direction) at your discretion!"

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Maria2394]

thanks Angeline

Thanks so much for your generous words

That one took some thought, but you are so close , almost exactly what I meant in the piece. Someone found me and encouraged to me not give up.

I have to thank everyone who gives me feedback. I also try to answer when I know who sent it. I had stopped writing
( poetry) for years. The help you all give me on here has meant so much...

 

[Rybka]

Re: June 6

I agree with Angeline on her other choices for today. My favorite was

elements of being by Maria2394

I know
you
as stars
fall
anxious
to reach
me,
to bring
a
simple
message:

Not alone,

countless
fallen
couriers
whisper
with
sparkles
of
fire

zinging
through
icy
atmosphere
and
towers
of clouds
doing
nothing
to lessen
their
fall

Another winner from Maria2394. We bring our own experiences to what we read, but this lovely piece about--to me--being lost and found and, overall, being accepted has both literal and figurative universal appeal. Poems are begetting thoughts of other poems for me today, I guess: this one has echoes of Neruda for me.

My suggestion is that the one or two word lines inhibit the worth of the poem.
If Maria2394 tried experimenting with "spacing" to affect puctuation and meaning, I believe her efforts could reach a new height.

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[OT]

Re: June 6

This poem seems so straightforward but, like many pieces by my dear friend OT, there's more going on than first meets the eye. It's just a simple informational poem, right? But, look again--the mechanical presentation of detail raises questions about the benefit of the ritual. Interesting poem, OT, and welcome back.

TY, and thanks also for picking up on the empty/stark undercurrent disguised as detail.

 

[Maria2394]

I think you might be right

Rybka,
thank you for the suggestions I wondered about that style, but thought I would see if it worked. I had started it a different way and now I will finish to see how it differs. But, I chose that style for a reason ( I know... refer to your goute from mcleish...
the reason being to show space, trangression of time, a way to make each line mean more than just the word, if that makes sense.
Well, anyway, thanks again for the feedback!

 

[Angeline]

TY, and thanks also for picking up on the empty/stark undercurrent disguised as detail.

It was just one poet's opinion.

I was in a meeting once where we were discussing types of writing and why it is so hard to make informative writing (as opposed to narrative or persuasive writing) interesting. Someone said that it's easy to make telling a story or convincing someone meaningful, but harder to do so with describing or explaning. I thought of that when I read your poem, and thought you had made it meaningful by balancing tone and content. That's what I liked about it--it seems complex in a subtle way.

 

[Maria2394]

maybe an improvement?

I think of you late sometimes
looking up at the stars
your blink and fade
waves of light galaxies
barren of sound
make me feel alone

I know you as stars fall from heaven
anxious to reach me
and bring a simple message

Not alone

Countless fallen couriers
whisper with sparkles of fire
zinging through icy atmosphere
and towers of clouds
do nothing to lessen their fall

Continue this journey
towards yourself.
I will still be here
when you arrive

_____________________

thanks again for your help!

 

[Angeline]

maybe an improvement?

Yes and this would also make a great graphic poem imho, especially if done on a photo of the night sky with verses or words falling as stars.

Hope you don't mind--just thought of it and that it might look lovely that way.

 

[Maria2394]

I like it!

If you want and have time, you could do it that way. I have no earthly idea ( yet) of how to do a piece that complicated. Also, it is only one of a series I am working on, and now I have some changes to make.

I had actually submitted the second one already, but when the change was suggested, I removed it..will probably post tomorrow or monday

sweet dreams!

 

[Rybka]

Yes and this would also make a great graphic poem imho, especially if done on a photo of the night sky with verses or words falling as stars.
Hope you don't mind--just thought of it and that it might look lovely that way.

YEAH!... and it's as if we each had our own L. Hynde as a resident graphic editor. - I often know what I want to show, but cannot display it.
Thank goodness for friendly editors, and that Laurel is becoming much more accommodating !

Anyway, I liked your words. I would just alter the display, con/sans background. It deserves to be more visual.

Won't it be great when we can all make words display as exploding fireworks, shooting stars, or twirling phrases caught in a whirlwind!

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Angeline]

YEAH!... and it's as if we each had our own L. Hynde as a resident graphic editor. - I often know what I want to show, but cannot display it.
Thank goodness for friendly editors, and that Laurel is becoming much more accommodating !

Anyway, I liked your words. I would just alter the display, con/sans background. It deserves to be more visual.

Won't it be great when we can all make words display as exploding fireworks, shooting stars, or twirling phrases caught in a whirlwind!

Regards, Rybka

You don't need a graphic editor, fishy--I didn't have one. I just experimentd with Microsoft Paint and with a photoediting program that came with my computer. And I never took an art class in my life. Really, all you need is the inclination to do it and a willingness to accept that you'll make mistakes as you learn. If there's no inclination fine, but I would never discourage anyone from trying--no one is more surprised that I can do this than me!

 

[Maria2394]

microsoft paint

I've been practicing with it, trying new things.I'm inclined to think I have an inclination to try

 

[BardsLady]

Hi all.

Everyone's Poem is incredible. I love the imagery of them. It's amazing what a few simple words can do to create such emotional output.

Let me know what you guys think of this one:

SoulMates

Linked in Heart
Linked in Soul,
Spirit and Mind,
The body is Whole.

Lifemates Past,
And ages Ago.
We First Met,
And Love did Grow.

Time after Time,
For Centuries Past.
Our Lives Did Touch,
And the Memory Lasts.

A Teardrop Falls,
As We pass On.
Yet Knowing Full Well,
Our Time Is Not Done.


I wrote it a while back...
BardsLady

 

[Rybka]

new poems on 6/08/03

Today we have 29 new poems and one “spinner”. Here is the oldie that I bring today. (Only took two days and 17 spins.)
Happy Thoughts by SlidingInSilk.

Soft beams of luminescence
Drape my windowsill
Dancing with the dust motes
And cutting through the chill

The cat lies in the pattern
Shining on the rug
Stretching languidly
And batting at a bug

I sit reading
In my old wingback chair
What a beautiful feeling!
Don’t you wish you were there?

Today we are graced by the return of an old friend, and his Mowing Diaries, 03 by smithpeter is the pick of the day.

...
A noise!
it sounds like distance
gnashing with nearness

my neighbor, annoyed
by winged things
takes out seagulls
crows,
an occasional sparrow
swooping as if it is its
religion

he is the poster child
of property ownership pride
and often scratches his dome
before deciding to prance across
the yard to this or that

wife and implements wait in
quarters provided,
he has forced his telephone
to ring my telephone,
”hey, come on over.
we have lots of food.”

I must be spoiled by the return of SP. After his piece, only two poems, both submitted by RazzRajen seemed worth mentioning. All the rest appear just average at best, and there are submissions by some pretty decent poets.

With a layout such as this, how can I resist RR's Abyss. Go read it a few times.
Also check out his What prevails, A nice little sea piece.

As always, these are only the thoughts and impressions of one person. Everyone is free, and indeed encouraged, to express their own opinions and comments. (But be aware that it is time consuming to read and critique 29 poems. Elapsed time today for me was about four and a half hours.)


Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[smithpeter]

Goodness,
Thank you, Rybka

 

[SlidingInSilk]

Thank you for mentioning my poem. Nice to know I have at least of couple of readers.

Silk