new poems

[RazzRajen]

Re: new poems on 6/08/03

I must be spoiled by the return of SP. After his piece, only two poems, both submitted by RazzRajen seemed worth mentioning.

Regards,                                 Rybka

Thanks , Rybka, for the wonderful words....Makes it all worthwhile if even one person likes the work and says so.....and sometimes even when they don't like it but still talk about it....

And am happy that the formatting worked for the Abyss.


Thanks again

Razz

 

[darkmaas]

Killer Muffin: Lost in Action

Poor Muffie seems to be lost in action. Now up here in Canada we have muffins of course, but the confection of choice is the humble doughnut - more specifically a Tim Horton's doughnut. It's hard to imagine the word "killer" modifying a doughnut. Killer Cruller? Nope too dopey. Killer Honey-glazed... puleez.

I digress.

There have been complaints that poor darkmaas is only there when someone jumps out of the cake or there is the clink of ice against an empty glass. Not true...well almost not true. To prove it, in the absence of the Killer Muff...darkmaas jumps in with his picks of the day.



In no particular order, starting at the top, denis hale gives us a no-holds-barred look at sex in a moving vehicle.

Black wingtips thrash
through the restraints
of his ankle pant-tangle,
as if scrambling for the pedals
of a double-seat bike he is just now
remembering to ride.

Click it, read it and vote.


With Phoenix by SlidingInSilk, as an added bonus, a hidden sentence is revealed by the arcane use of upper case. Too cute? Maybe, but I'm a sap for a little word game.


Which brings me to Passion's Progress. Angeline at her most explicit...but oh so civilized. Looking for a better word than ...say..."cock" for your next erotic offering? Try "paradox of silk indurate". Want some effortless rhyme? Look no further. Easily the best of the day. Vote early. Vote often.


Lastly we have a pair from palau (both gems) and dyppan by Maria2394. The latter is the subject of its own thread so I'll say no more. (Darkmaas is a sucker for a linguistic teaser.)

Enjoy.

darkmaas

 

[Rybka]

Thank you dm, for joining the cast of reviewers. I agree with your suggestions, but you forgot one called Boulevard by some crazy Canuck poet (probably a cousin of the McKenzie brothers, Bob and Doug) who just happened to get one right today.

We sat along the boulevard
Laughed in tepid pools of light
That brittle little cocktail laugh
So erotic but polite
We would cock our heads and whisper
Funny stories dipped in spite
You were starlet in our cinema
Your skirt so black and tight
I was sure that I might have you
That the plot should turn out right
But our film was made of nitrate
It was grainy black and white
As the lamp got overheated
I watched us flicker then ignite

Regards, Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Thank you, darkmaas

You are most kind. I've gotten remarkably little feedback on this poem, which I think means I'm either losing my touch or have shocked people to silence by actually writing--here at the erotic lit site--some erotica, lol. And I'm glad you um liked my euphanism--nobody can sidestep graphic language (out of embarrassing--given my advanced age--embarrassment) like me.

,
A.

P.S. Who was that Canadian Rybka mentioned? I really liked his poem, too. I also thought Palau's steps in long cotton dress and RazzRajen's Finding One were both lovely.

 

[denis hale]

thanx darkmaas!

you're too kind, dm

glad you enjoyed the ride!


And Angeline. You give great feedback!

I will say, quite candid in the hear and now, "Passion's Progress" was so amazing, it sent this po' boy packing-- straight for the showers! lolol

True!

~>dh

 

[Angeline]

I will say, quite candid in the hear and now, "Passion's Progress" was so amazing, it sent this po' boy packing-- straight for the showers! lolol


*Blush*

lol

 

[WickedEve]

6-10

I have no recommendations today, but please read the new poems. You may find something suitable to your taste.

 

[darkmaas]

Boulevard

Well, thank you Rybka. Put enough beer and doughnuts in front of a Canadian and a keyboard and eventually something akin to poetry happens. lol

darkmaas.

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: Thank you,

and RazzRajen's Finding One were both lovely.

Thanks Angeline ....for the mention *S*......


Razz

 

[Rybka]

Re: 6-10

I have no recommendations today, but please read the new poems. You may find something suitable to your taste.

I agree in general, but I think this one by Svenskaflicka to be rather cute. I just wish the author would not always make so many errors. (I do understand that English may not be her first language. - All the more reason to use an English spell checker and grammar program.)

Stand up and pee

"What does it matter?"
said the Mad Hatter,
"that Alice is smarter than me?
For I can stand up when I pee."

"Its is a great habit,"
said the White Rabbit,
"and shen in doubt, the wise boss, he
would surely choose the one who can stand up and pee!"

Who cares for education,
or earlier recommendation?
What better qualification can there possibly be
than to be able to stand up when you pee?

Regards, Rybka

 

[OT]

What the critics are saying about new poems for June 11th.

-- minimalist approach is superb

-- light and airy

-- nary a punctuation or spelling error to be found

-- not a single cliche'

(at the time of this posting, there were none )

 

[Cordelia]

OT,

The new poems are up for June 11 and June 12. This annoys me because I submitted a poem today expressly so it would post tomorrow. You'll see why, when it posts. Ah, well. I will post my review for the poems of the 12th later tonight.

I'll let OT do the ones from the 11th.

Regards,

Cordelia

 

[OT]

Poems for the 11th

They were late so I admit to only briefly browsing them. None seemed particularly noteworthy. By all means (someone, anyone) jump in and point to a pearl I may have missed.

 

[Cordelia]

yikes

Okay, OT, I went through the poems of the 12th and found them lacking, as well.

I'll mention the few smiles I got from:

A Comparison by Rybka

The Fields by RazzRajen

are good, but not to these poet's usual standards.

And I have a headache from rolling my eyes at If You Don't Like My Poems.

I'm going to go write....



Cordelia

 

[Guest]

Cordelia's June 12th

OT,

The new poems are up for June 11 and June 12. This annoys me because I submitted a poem today expressly so it would post tomorrow. You'll see why, when it posts. Ah, well. I will post my review for the poems of the 12th later tonight.

I'll let OT do the ones from the 11th.

Regards,

Cordelia

Your poem showed up on the date specified. Laurel just mixed the new ones in with the poems that were actually posted late on the 11th.

So your poem is now posted on the correct date.. June 12th


|neonurotic|

 

[Rybka]

Re: yikes

Okay, OT, I went through the poems of the 12th and found them lacking, as well.

I'll mention the few smiles I got from:

A Comparison by Rybka

The Fields by RazzRajen

are good, but not to these poet's usual standards.

And I have a headache from rolling my eyes at If You Don't Like My Poems.

I'm going to go write....

Cordelia

Thank you for the smile. I have been trying to post that poem since I jotted it down well over a week ago. The effort it has taken to get it accepted far outweighs any merit in it.

I did find one new piece that I found interesting. I liked a lot of the imagery in Krenna Smart's Ocean Kiss. It has a lot of very good lines but seems to fail because the author tried to do so much.

It's 2:00 a.m.
on a sultry summer night

I open the freezer
pour a shot of liquid ice
which caresses my throat
on the way down
like a devil's kiss

My flat's a steam bath

Even the cats are sweating
Their sand-paper tongues loll
through half open mouths
...

Regards,                                 Rybka

 

[Cordelia]

more from 6/12/03

Okay, there were a few more poems posted after I did my early review. That'll teach me to jump the gun...

Only a couple worth mentioning, however:

~~~~~~~
3 poems by Palau.

which contains the delightful image:

my lawn resembles
a 1975 teenage boy
haircut,
on led zeppelin
~~~~~~~

And, the two poems below both have some good images in them, but as a whole, I felt they could use some work. But you go read them and decide for yourself:

Never Enough by neonurotic

and

The moment by pollyjean

~~~~~~~

You know the routine. Go read and give feedback.



Cordelia

 

[Palau]

thanks cordelia

this is a goofy place for poetry, that's for sure.
Your comments are always welcome.
Thanks again, it's important to me to hear from an artist like you.

This guy, though.
Is feeling a little less and greater less interested in posting to this website.
It becomes an annoyance to me that people interested in the abuse of women depicted in the blatant and often stupid ads that grace all of our poetry are peering in.

I confess that the view of a copy/paste fist is submerged into a woman’s gif image is always there flashing during the reading of poetry that has made me want to laugh were it not so disgusting.

When is a slap in the face the same as prostituting oneself for the sake of abuse of women? “here, read my new poem. You’ll find it under the Dirty Ol’ Man and his teenage girly or foxy grandma”

Anyway, ignore the above.
This is only to thank Cordelia for her kind words and grace and tolerance.

 

[Cordelia]

Re: Cordelia's June 12th

Your poem showed up on the date specified. Laurel just mixed the new ones in with the poems that were actually posted late on the 11th.

So your poem is now posted on the correct date.. June 12th


|neonurotic|

thanks, neonurotic.

whew!

Cordelia.

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: yikes

Okay, OT, I went through the poems of the 12th and found them lacking, as well.

I'll mention the few smiles I got from:

A Comparison by Rybka

The Fields by RazzRajen

are good, but not to these poet's usual standards.

And I have a headache from rolling my eyes at If You Don't Like My Poems.

I'm going to go write....



Cordelia

Thanks Cordelia ....for the mention.....

I am writing again now....

Thanks
Razz

 

[Rybka]

Re: thanks cordelia

this is a goofy place for poetry, that's for sure.
Your comments are always welcome.
Thanks again, it's important to me to hear from an artist like you.

This guy, though.
Is feeling a little less and greater less interested in posting to this website.
It becomes an annoyance to me that people interested in the abuse of women depicted in the blatant and often stupid ads that grace all of our poetry are peering in.

I confess that the view of a copy/paste fist is submerged into a woman’s gif image is always there flashing during the reading of poetry that has made me want to laugh were it not so disgusting.

When is a slap in the face the same as prostituting oneself for the sake of abuse of women? “here, read my new poem. You’ll find it under the Dirty Ol’ Man and his teenage girly or foxy grandma”

Anyway, ignore the above.
This is only to thank Cordelia for her kind words and grace and tolerance.

I have noticed that the banner ad at the top of the page for a non-erotic poem is usually non-sexual in nature. If we all clicked on such ads occasionally perhaps Laurel and Manu might be encouraged to get more of them??

Regards, Rybka

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: thanks cordelia

This guy, though.
Is feeling a little less and greater less interested in posting to this website.
It becomes an annoyance to me that people interested in the abuse of women depicted in the blatant and often stupid ads that grace all of our poetry are peering in.

I confess that the view of a copy/paste fist is submerged into a woman’s gif image is always there flashing during the reading of poetry that has made me want to laugh were it not so disgusting.

When is a slap in the face the same as prostituting oneself for the sake of abuse of women? “here, read my new poem. You’ll find it under the Dirty Ol’ Man and his teenage girly or foxy grandma”

You haven't heard it from me, but this works wonders.

 

[Shotokan07]

*Lurking by*

 

[Angeline]

6/13/03

So here it is Friday the 13th and the worst thing that happened was a brief but ugly tiff with my daughter. Ok there are five hours left, but I have a black dog, not cat, and she's just crazy--not particularly unlucky.

Of the new poems posted today there were but a few that caught my eye.

My pick for the day is
elements of being: placement by Maria2394. I first saw this poem yesterday (ty Maria, ), and it's a stunner. I love the way this poet writes--intelligently, with a great flow, and beautiful imagery. And I'm a sucker for ocean metaphor. Enjoy this lovely piece of writing.

Latitude and longitude

cannot fathom me.

I don't need a sextant or satellite

to guide me,

nor a mariners' map

to remind me that sunken souls

are mired in depths of solitude,

anchored here and there by regret,

hugging ocean floors.



Palau's empty envelopes put a smile on my face. What a dream, Palau! Nightmare or Christmas card writer's sweet dream come true?

they march like many Satan’s in my postage dream
a machine seen that will spread saliva on the #10
loose flaps, looked down on from a railed
raised running track, YMCA
spit and drool, what else could fall?


Finally, Rybka's Ectropy has happy people springing toward the Sun, which I found rather cute and whimsical. Kinda made me think of those speeded-up action films of flowers growing they used to show on The Wonderful World of Disney.

here's to men and women
forever reaching upward
flowers spring toward the sun

Lauren, you're up next!

 

[Palau]

Angeline

Thank you,
you are a gracious and kind critic, (sometimes)
My best