new poems

[Angeline]

Angeline, with the brilliance of a thousand stars, meets all the woowoo criteria and makes us roll with laughter as well. The erotic use of ewoks however is maybe a bit over the top and may result in some offense to one of the maiden aunts.

Thank you so kindly darkmaas. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem, which lord knows would never have been writ were it not for your fertile (dare I say fertilized?) imagination.

My apologies for not personally thanking you sooner, but my isp has just recovered from a multi-hour catatonic state.

Two Points

First, I wish to clarify for you and those who sent feedback (wondering) that WooWoo Galactica is emphatically *not* biographical. While I do love a good imagination, the Stars Wars scenario just doesn't cut it for me! Nor, for the record, am I particularly given to speaking euphemistically when doing so would contradict the activities being pursued.

Second, given the point of the exercise--which was, after all, designed by you--I feel we should keep in mind that the ewok is strictly metaphorical, as is the wookie.

Now hand me the smelling salts for the outraged aunty, please.

 

[WickedEve]

8-5

[...]
the sun sets
not plunged into anything
it rolls gracefully over the edge of my perception
to delight and burn those in its way with wash,
[...]
Have you been sneaking around taking poetry classes, sp? Seriously, you're really good. I hate you. Who are Mikayla and Roberta? triangular bed by smithpeter
Also by sp: post mowing

----------

Two today by peacefulpoetess:
Applaud The Entertainment which has nice descriptions and Monday's Meeting which is also heavily descriptive and a bit more enjoyable, in my opinion. Here's an excerpt from Monday's Meeting:
[...]
Smell of rain wavering
Crystal sconced candles
Liquefied ivory bleeds, drips
Oak stand flecked with wax
Bears coffee stained rings
Faded-label plastic bottles
[...]

----------

steve porter's apples and oranges makes this poem worth a read.
[...]
it seems almost insane to have found you
beneath all these piles of rubble
yet not to fold you in my arms
a thousand times a day…
i might call it cruel except
i don’t want to upset this apple cart…
and speaking of apples…i think
[...]

Also: the new day dawns by steve porter ©

----------

I felt that Rhythmic Persuasion by The_Fool © started out using too many variations of the word light but that's only a minor complaint. I like this poem and the way the dull roll of tympani is highlighting the beat of two in motion. Listen! Two moans, deep, rise above the beat. Two moans, low, sound in the glow.
Give this poem a read before tympani silenced after one loud crash.

----------

S.J. you may want to reconsider your personals ad.
[...]
i don't flirt
i don't squeeze
toilet paper in grocery stores
i'm a dude who adores
the dog food
[...]

Hi MuSe by Senna Jawa ©

While I chew my nails waiting for Senna's colorful response, go read his poem. Please.

----------

Distant Places
by RazzRajen ©

[...]
bring raucous veins
of discord
Be with Us
now together

that incessant patter of
monsoon rain
[...]

This poem is a quick read and worth a look.

 

[WickedEve]

Re: New Poems Monday 4th August.

Not many poetic offerings today. I count two official woowoo poems.

Elda Furry in a brilliant bit of one-upmanship actually involves the maiden aunts in the poem. As mentioned before, this is a subtler exploration of the genre.

Respectfully,

darkmaas

Elda's poem is more gossip than poetry. But she thanks you for the mention.

Woowoos and wookies,
Eve

 

[The_Fool]

Wicked Eve's 8-5 read.

Thanks for the Mention Wicked. I know, I struggled with the light thing, trying to get my idea across. Maybe one of these days a lightbulb will go off and I will rewrite....

 

[Angeline]

I felt that Rhythmic Persuasion by The_Fool © started out using too many variations of the word light but that's only a minor complaint. I like this poem and the way the dull roll of tympani is highlighting the beat of two in motion. Listen! Two moans, deep, rise above the beat. Two moans, low, sound in the glow.
Give this poem a read before tympani silenced after one loud crash.

Just a note to second Eve's recommendation on this poem. It reminded me of one of my old college professors who (I swear I am *not* making this up) walked into our full lecture hall one dismal thunderstormy morming and said: Don't y'all wish you were home shackin up today? (Hey, I was young at the time. It seemed shocking then. It was Psyche 101; maybe there was a point, I dunno.)

Anyway, it's a good poem. Read it.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: 8-5

[...]
the sun sets
not plunged into anything
it rolls gracefully over the edge of my perception
to delight and burn those in its way with wash,
[...]
Have you been sneaking around taking poetry classes, sp? Seriously, you're really good. I hate you. [...] triangular bed by smithpeterhttp://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=103832

Eve, when you are prasing someone (say a prolific author but no poet) then at least select a quote which has a chance to make him look reasonably good, not like the one above, so short and still so full of junk that it's not poetry.

S.J. you may want to reconsider your personals ad.
[...]
        i don't flirt
        i don't squeeze
        toilet paper in grocery stores
        i'm a dude who adores
        the dog food
[...]

Hi MuSe by Senna Jawa ©

While I chew my nails waiting for Senna's colorful response, go read his poem. Please.

Why? Because you cut the quote out of the poem in a nasty way, showing no feeling toward poetry? Make up your mind: either you like poetry or you like to play inferior social games. As a minimum the quote should look like this:

[...]
        i don't flirt
        i don't squeeze
        toilet paper in grocery stores
        i'm a dude who adores
        the dog food
        barking
        a perfect cube
[...]


Be my guest, be nasty to me, but why to a poem? Why to praise something lousy first and then to put down another piece which is true poetry?

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: 8-5

Eve, when you are prasing someone (say a prolific author but no poet) then at least select a quote which has a chance to make him reasonably good, not like the one above, so short and still so full of junk that it's not poetry.Why? Because you cut the quote out of the poem in a nasty way, showing no feeling toward poetry? Make up your mind: either you like poetry or you like to play inferior social games. As a minimum the quote should look like this:

[...]
        i don't flirt
        i don't squeeze
        toilet paper in grocery stores
        i'm a dude who adores
        the dog food
        barking
        a perfect cube
[...]


Be my guest, be nasty to me, but why to a poem? Why to praise something lousy first and then to put down another piece which is true poetry?

I was mentioning your poem so that it could be read. Lighten up. If you want to give me grief for being too lighthearted with you the way I am with people I consider friends, then give me grief, senna.

 

[smithpeter]

Senna Jawa and Eve

Thanks for mention.
wow

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: 8-5

[B
Distant Places
by RazzRajen ©

[...]
bring raucous veins
of discord
Be with Us
now together

that incessant patter of
monsoon rain
[...]

This poem is a quick read and worth a look. [/B]

Thanks Eve for the mention *S*

and for your patience in reading all the new submissions....

Razz

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: New Poems Monday 4th August.

Lastly, for all you Razz addicts, go somnolently through Night's Slough




It's late. If I missed a gem, I'll catch it on the flip side.

Read, Vote, then offer feedback.

Respectfully,

darkmaas

Thanks darkmaas for your forbearance in getting through the new submissions and your words....

and hope that if you did go sleepily at least you had good dreams.....


Razz

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Re: 8-5

Eve, when you are prasing someone (say a prolific author but no poet) then at least select a quote which has a chance to make him reasonably good, not like the one above, so short and still so full of junk that it's not poetry.

Uh, I guess I wasn't paying attention when I read senna's... whatever. Why are you insulting sp, you fart head? (And calling you fart head is not an inferior social game. I just happen to think you have brain gas.)

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: Re: Re: 8-5

[...] you fart head? (And calling you fart head is not an inferior social game. I just happen to think you have brain gas.)

Ok, so you are nasty to me. But at least leave the poems out of these inferior games of social connections and disconnections.

BTW, did you have a second look at the quote from sp? This time from the point of view of art? Ok, ok, you or others will give it your mechanical support, never mind.

Hey, be happy Eve, my "Hi MuSe" was voted on twice and got rating 1.5 (i.e. the votes were 1 and 2). I am sure that sp's poem has a woooonderr--fuuullll rating

Trivia time: "Hi MuSe" has also scored 22 views so far.

 

[BooMerengue]

WTF???

 

[champagne1982]

Re: 02-Aug-2003

Two very um interesting ones were champagne1982's woowoo poems:

The Oil Change
and
Why Mormons don't dance.

Thankyou. We can all thank darkmaas for his woowoo challenge. I do so love a challenge! Ask anyone who knows me.
I'm glad you, um, liked them.

 

[steve porter]

thank you wicked eve for the mention...i have nooooo problem with the quote you used from apples and oranges...

 

[OT]

A number of new faces today, so be sure and poke around to see if their writing strikes a chord.
Here's a couple Wednesday's new poems that bubbled to the top of my like list.

--------------------

There's danc'n in this poem (and it ain't the funky-chicken).
I really like this fun mix of words:

...
You can float over smoke easy as chatter.
Go on. Curl around a glass.
Squeak back the damp trails of your fingertips.

It's Like That by Angeline


--------------------
Very short and yummy. Ya just gotta love the word play in this line:

... hopes razed only to return

what goes also remains by Maria2394

--------------------
Sometimes you can feel the feeling in a poem. I just liked it.

...
so take me gently
in your arms
laugh
smile sweetly
open your bag of charms
i'll swallow them and take the bait
i'll even settle for less than fate
but what i'll never be
is satisfied

Satisfied by ripewickedplumm

 

[Rybka]

A New Poet

OT,
    I also noticed ripewickedplumm today, But my favorite of her two submissions was Mistress Propriety, although it had several spelling mistakes.

In the autumn of the voodoo phantasm
Mistress Propriety thinks sullen thoughts
and floats on the crest of an indigo orgasm
weeping for petals withered and lost

Touched in the spring of the shaman's fire
by the shadowy ravisher, blistered and torn
aching inside for the silken red liar
burning for tethers she's never worn

Sucked in the winter of desolate reality
invading the crevice of a blackened pure heart
ripped from the comfort of plum purple fantasy
Mistress Propriety, spun like a tart

In the summer of ash-blackened babies
good girls pound berries to hominy songs
and dream of the taffeta moonbeams of ladies
yearning for Venus' mulberry thongs

(I have corrected several misspellings.)

 

[Angeline]

There's danc'n in this poem (and it ain't the funky-chicken).
I really like this fun mix of words:


quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...
You can float over smoke easy as chatter.
Go on. Curl around a glass.
Squeak back the damp trails of your fingertips.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It's Like That by Angeline

Thank you OT. I wrote it while listening to music last night, and was just letting my mind wander, trying to find words to describe the sounds. I posted it convinced that I had made no sense and would look like a dope, lol. But I have gotten great feedback, so thank you everyone who took the time to write.

P.S. I was also concerned that the following line

elbows up and back and up and back

did indeed sound like the uh chicken dance. So, for the record, I wasn't. Doing. That.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Originally posted by OT Satisfied by ripewickedplumm

The first stanza is great!. The second stanza is good. And indeed, the poem still needs a continuation. But it would be better to leave it unfinished than to spoil the good taste with stanzas 3-5. And still, the first two stanzas are a nice achievement.

 

[Senna Jawa]

Re: A New Poet

Mistress Propriety

ripewickedplumm has potential! Her poem has tempo, is consistent, and shows wonderful vocabulary and nice humor. Only line:

  Sucked in the winter of desolate reality

is of lower quality as the total, and especially due to "of desolate reality"--way too easy, way too cheap. it doesn't stick out too bad because the tone of the whole poem is humorous and that's why expression "sullen thoughts" in line:

  Mistress Propriety thinks sullen thoughts

is ok. It is a good poem, well written except that it should scan a bit better. I still like the first stanza of the other poem more, even if it also has a somewhat weak moment:

        i'll ache and throb
        i'll moan and sob

This was too easy. I hope that this author will treat her art seriously.

Oh, BTW, proper layout can make for a still better reading of "Mistress Propriety"-- sometimes such seemingly minor details are essential:


=========================================


  Mistress Propriety


        In the autumn of the voodoo phantasm
        Mistress Propriety thinks sullen thoughts
        and floats on the crest of an indigo orgasm
        weeping for petals withered and lost

            Touched in the spring of the shaman's fire
            by the shadowy ravisher, blistered and torn
            aching inside for the silken red liar
            burning for tethers she's never worn

            Sucked in the winter of desolate reality
            invading the crevice of a blackened pure heart
            ripped from the comfort of plum purple fantasy
            Mistress Propriety, spun like a tart

        In the summer of ash-blackened babies
        good girls pound berries to hominy songs
        and dream of the taffeta moonbeams of ladies
        yearning for Venus' mulberry thongs



by ripewickedplumm

=========================================



Hm, now one would like to have spring too

Regards

 

[Maria2394]

thanks OT

--------------------
Very short and yummy. Ya just gotta love the word play in this line:

what goes also remains by Maria2394

--------------------
Thanks for the mention OT very much appreciate it Maria

 

[Cordelia]

new poems 8/7/03

Ummm...

There weren't any.

Cordelia

 

[Guest]

Re: new poems 8/7/03

Ummm...

There weren't any.

Cordelia

Nyup—spoke too soon. I sees a bunch
and a few good ones too.



neonurotic

 

[Angeline]

Re: new poems 8/7/03

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Cordelia
Ummm...

There weren't any.

Cordelia
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Nyup—spoke too soon. I sees a bunch
and a few good ones too.



neonurotic

Ye-ah baby and they're all marked the 8th so they're mine, all mine. And almost every one is really good, IMHO. I need a drink, lol. Hasta manana poemies and poets.

 

[Angeline]

August 8th, 2003

Phew! There are 17 new poems posted and many of them are--IMHO--very good. In fact, you almost can’t go wrong with the new poems list today. I’d love to flatter myself that you all posted them yesterday because you so enjoy my scintillating verbosity, but given that none were listed on the 7th, my guess is that Laurel didn’t get to them until then. Not that I’m complaining. I love poetry. My poetic cup runneth over. And not a single “pussiology” poem in the bunch--life is good.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So let‘s start with Quietude, Stillness by RazzRajen. Razz has become one of my favorite poets here at Lit. He’s prolific, and I think his work rarely misses the mark. I love this poem because it so beautifully combines fluid form with thoughtful, heartfelt content. If there weren’t so many other great reads today, it would easily have been my favorite. Yup. It’s that good. And it’s cosmic! Read it.

Ensconced in Our parlours
Sipping morning coffee
watching the sky turn blood-red
and the winds rise
When Kaliyug Comes
Ragnarok Armageddon
call it what you will

souls are what will remain
Minds opened in
transfixed eyes
beating as One
heightened
together and flowing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve Porter gives us im on the road to ruidoso, a concrete, slice-of-life poem. Steve seems to be a very observant guy, which I suppose is why this style works so well for him. He draws you into the ‘story’ of it with careful detail. The reader can just feel the artificially chilled interior of the car, the hot dusty panhandle surrounding it, and the speaker’s wry ambivalence. Very nice, Mr. Porter.

wild fillies of the texas high plains
restless against the tethers
of this one horse town

I should have said to each of them
hey you want to go to ruidoso
and i bet you they all would have come

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well now. Backdoor Man is blatently erotic and it’s very sexy. Neonurotic puts together form and content really well here, but I think what pulls it all together is that strong voice that echoes across it--sometimes sardonic, sometimes almost yearning. There’s an underlying melancholy feel too, which summarizes the overall futility of the lovers’ situation and is encapsulated in the last stanza. Read this one a few time--I think it’s more complex than it may first appear.

Oh yeah, and see if you can get through it without that Doors song playing in your head, lol.

I want to spank that ass,
leave secret bites –– Hell yes
Lick up your sweat,
And ah yes, most of all,
kiss and love you.

Yes, maybe someday
you'll have what it takes –– Oh, I do
to tell him about me,
but until then baby
I'm your backdoor man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There are two offerings today from aKaMarie, a new poet to Lit. I think they both need some fine tuning; there is--to my ear--some unnecessary abstraction that could be edited out, but this poet has a powerful voice that rises above my little quibbles. There‘s a raw, pleading quality to these pieces that combined with an effective rhythmic pace, really grabs you. Welcome to the poetry board, Marie--hope to see more from you!

Memory

Once upon a time
Lonliness overcame reason
In the dark you were mine
Life is not one to pick and choose
Let it go, pleading
Shall it go on in fantasy?
This aching, needing
Just a memory, just a memory
To walk down the street holding my head
Whispering to myself in anguish
Covered in creeping dread


Can't Be Loved

Reality in the way
Fragmented time laughs and taunts
Far, far away
My heart seethes, what it wants

Is you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the good poems keep on keepin on.

Again, I found myself unable to choose a favorite of two posts from a single poet. mostly black by Palau is erotic in a careful, graceful way. I think it's interesting to read this one paired with Denis Hale’s poem mentioned below--to me they feel like two sides of the same coin.

he kneels with easy grace
she understands his offered point
considers,
is pummeled

Palau‘s while noodling made my heart flutter with its memories, its lovely bittersweet nostalgia. Really. Read it carefully; it’s absolutely beautiful.

my laying down new friend
reclining defining simple kissing versus tongue
”you are so buxom
jiggly
wholesome
inviting to kiss
Brenda, is your long neck as sensitive as this
poor sweet innocent lad
imagines?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He Used To Like strikes me as somewhat of a change for Denis Hale, who has posted some wonderful frenetic poems here that make you feel like you’re flying down a highway in a really fast car. This one has as careful and measured a pace as the calculated grown-up game its speaker has come to appreciate.

when she tells him:

"Look at me
when I'm talking to you!... And spit
that gum out of your mouth...
This instant!"

The first tremor
rocks his crotch as he
haltingly
plays at insolence
and reticence,

contented
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ah woman. Ah women. That‘s what Xtaabay‘s Stains, an ode to the hormonal tides of femininity makes me want to sigh and say. It’s the curse and celebration of my gender and, at the very least, any woman who reads this poem will understand how beautifully Xtaabay has captured the ambiguous duality of living under its reign.

Almost indelible ink
of embarrassment,
pain,
whitened/weakened 13 times per year.
Never dammed,
the bloody tide flows true,
straight from the gulf of my heart.

Smoldering beneath the welding,
leaking life,
is the rest of me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Read all the new poems, add to the list in your own post if you like, and please give feedback. We love to know what you think! Have a great weekend everyone.


P.S. Go here.