new poems

[Lauren Hynde]

Poems don't have to be commented to be submitted, but it's my prerogative to say whatever I want about whatever poem I read. Anyone has a problem with that, I couldn't care less.

 

[Guest]

 

[Cordelia]

Hmmm....

I was under the assumption if you post something here, we were free to express our opinions. (And I emphasize "opinion")

Apparently not.


Cordelia.

 

[Guest]

 

[Cordelia]

Hi Cordelia,
I am familiar with your work. Its enjoyable
Please, Im moving on
dont hesitate to do the same.
Good day to you

Thank you.

I wish you'd reconsider, as I like what I've read of your work.

But it's a free forum. Which is why I like it. I like to hear outside opinions. But, as I said, it's all mere opinion. I take them in the manner intended, or ignore them.

Be well,

Cordelia

 

[Tangerine Sex Dream]

I don't know people on here well yet, but this seems ridiculous to me. GG, if you do not like what Lauren or Darkmaas, ,and anyone else, has to say, why do you keep coming back? unless you just like tension...? I agree with Boo on this one.
I for one embrace freedom of speech as the single greatest accomplishment of the entire human history, now if we could only cherish differences and become tolerant of one another.

All I see here is people who try to help, offer suggestions and then the very people they try to help lash out and acts immature..you aren't the only one.You should, as all of us, be grateful than anyone cares enough to want to help ...I know I am tsd

 

[Lauren Hynde]

The ridiculous bit is that Darkmaas's review was perfectly innocuous. He simply said one of her three poems deserved to be read by us all. If that's slander, I can't think what all the people whose poems weren't even mentioned must be thinking right now. Probably forming a lynch mob.

 

[Sure]

I just come by to look at the pictures

 

[Maria2394]

evree bodeee, take a deeep cleansing breath and listen to my voice.... calm is good, very good, reviews are good, very good... the world is filled with beauty and poets who want to improve umm... and remember, even negative attention is better than no attention to some people!!!! smile ya'll

ps Lauren, I went back and read his review, and I do agree with you...wouldnt have offended me, but who knows how thought processes work in different people, right? gosh, he has said some wild stuff about mine and I didnt freak out, ...( thanks darkmaas, I appreciate any attention you give me

I guess this is what is known as artistic differences?
maybe goddess should take a peek at the do I dare thread...

 

[Angeline]

If I know my friend darkmaas, I'm guessing he had a nice post-prandial and moved on. I'm sorry he was misunderstood--he's a sweetheart, really, and was simply stating his opinion (pretty innocuously, I thought).

I posted some poems for review on another site not too long ago and I was Excoriated--see that? With a capital E! I mean, this was sado-review and I, not being maso-poet--decided it wasn't for me and split. I welcome criticism and want to learn from it, but these people were way into a) being *right* and b) trashing their nonfriends. I've seen some angry stuff here--hell, I've said some of it, lol--but this was beyond anything here.

I've always argued that no one is helped by abuse that masquerades as a review, and I'll continue to do so. However, I'm in no way for censoring a mixed message when it's
delivered honestly and politely.

Bottom line though--and second time I find myself thinking this of late--we need a sticky thread on this board that lays this stuff out.

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: Monday, 18 August

A slow day today. Looks like Rybka had all the fun.


Start by reading Razz' Blockages, Sometimes It's a nicely hewn flutter with overtones of dark vampirism that drifts to a nicely ambiguous conclusion. My only complaints are the "cauldron of desire" (darkmaas is being over Potterized at the moment), and the too-clever-by-half word play (or is it Canadian spelling?) in the first line.



Respectfully,

darkmaas.

Thanks darkmaas for noticing and for your comments....

re Canadian spelling Can I safely take refuge behind - "its Quebecois " spelling


and just to stir the pots a tad... Nothing in what you had to say in your reveiw deserved such an extreme <IMHO> response as was generated.


Razz

 

[darkmaas]

Morning everyone.

I've taken the time to read all of your comments and re-read the original review. Thanks for the support. Although no insult was intended, there was obviously one taken. For this I am sorry and offer apologies.

I'm sorry that you don't want to stick around, Goldengoddess. Perhaps you could reconsider and, if nothing else, teach me something about poetry. If not let me take the opportunity to say thanks for searing the smug look off m'ass.

Tata,

darkmaas

 

[Maria2394]

Darkmaas, you're so gracious and diplomatic... you ARE a sweetheart, arent ya

 

[Rybka]

Re: Monday, 18 August

A slow day today. Looks like Rybka had all the fun.

. . .

Lastly, Goldengoddess has three poems today which I might have passed over except for Mistress Although it is a bit literal for my taste, it demonstrates a poet struggling to get out. (With your consent of course, the local word smiths would be happy to slice and dice. I promise it will only hurt for a little while.)

Respectfully,

darkmaas.

Looks to me like you had all the fun DM, and I had the slow day.
If it had been my review, I would have passed over all of Goldengoddess's works. (...and that way have avoided all of the conflict.) I think you are being damned for giving faint praise.
You are much kinder than I. I personally find the submissions trivial and derivative renditions of very overused themes, and fear that there would be nothing left to enjoy after the slicing and dicing was done.

I do object to the sentence structure in your review. If I had written it, "... it demonstrates a poet struggling to get out." would have been, "... it demonstrates a poet struggling... perhaps you should get out?"
Now the question arises as to who would be so bored to bother stalking such a small and overly defensive person? Goldengoddess’s responses do indeed remind me of some previous posters, but I do not even remember their names.

Re: scoring better in a previous incarnation:
I do think it is true that some people are kinder to people they know, and harder on poets they dislike (for whatever reasons, style, language, personality, etc.), or don’t know. However, there are also writers who enlist a cadre of friends or syncophants to artificially boost their ratings.

Goldengoddess, good luck to you wherever you go. I do not know of anyone here who has any personal animosity towards you nor to anyone else. If you want to discuss poetry without the defensive histrionics, you are welcome any time.

Pax, Rybka

 

[Cordelia]

new poems 8/19/03

Hello folks!

There are some really interesting new poems offered today.

~~~~~~~

There were four poems by tmt. His work is worth checking out. I'll list his new poems in no particular order, but my favorite is Wisdom . I'll just say they were intriguing enough for me to go and check out his previous work.

Singing for my Supper
Where be the Angels
Unadorned Bastille
Wisdom

~~~~~~~

I am not sure why, but I feel I need to mention new poet nakedwithagirl, if only for his odd little poem Little Cats. But go read his work and decide for yourself.

~~~~~~~

Another new poet, Petme, has given us a gem today. In my humble opinion, I thought the first stanza could have stood alone as the poem.

Closing my eyes

Right here,
next to my
imaginary
tattoo,
the indelible
mark
of your
tongue.
Removing
my imaginary
strappy dress,
and strapless
bra.

[...]

I love that image! And I can't imagine why she chose to submit it as Non-erotic poetry, but that's another opinion.

~~~~~~~

Another delight from denis hale in today's offerings.

Of Flyers and Feedback

[...]

Too much small talk
and pop-ups peppering my Inbox
like Delmonte Corn Niblets in yesterday's
turd roll clogging up the works...

[...]

This excerpt doesn't do it justice, but I hope it gets you to go and read the whole thing...

~~~~~~~

And this interesting poem from steve porter.

masturbation (part 2: v 5-8)

I will only comment that I really enjoyed reading this. I am not sure if the opening note detracted from the poem or not, but my curiousity is piqued. steve?? may I have a copy of part one? I'll PM you my email address...

~~~~~~~

My first spinner pick for Non-Erotic poetry was one of mine, so I spun again, and was pleasantly surprised to discover this one by Rybka

Sleepy Reality

Note from Cordelia: I couldn't do the poem credit by pasting it here, as all the centering disappeared, and I don't want to detract from the poem by changing the visual on it. Take my word for it. Go read it.

~~~~~~~

As always, read and give feedback.

Cordelia

 

[Maria2394]

re: tmt

I woke up happy
first time in a while
didn't need this noon time cry
tears in my eyes
no tissues nearby

maybe we have all wondered
from time to time
but only tmt
had the courage to ask
where the angels are

i thought they
had all died
but knowing this feeling
again after so long
I know where they went
and why
***************
Cordelia
thank you for the link to tmt's work, truly unique and touching, but still sort of raw enough to make you feel..I hope this poet submits more, very often, and very soon

and..Little Cats is precious...Im still smiling cool that you mentioned this one..it deserved it, IMHO

 

[Rybka]

Re: new poems 8/19/03

Hello folks!

There are some really interesting new poems offered today.

...

~~~~~~~

I am not sure why, but I feel I need to mention new poet nakedwithagirl, if only for his odd little poem Little Cats. But go read his work and decide for yourself.

...

~~~~~~~

Another delight from denis hale in today's offerings.

Of Flyers and Feedback

[...]

Too much small talk
and pop-ups peppering my Inbox
like Delmonte Corn Niblets in yesterday's
turd roll clogging up the works...

[...]

This excerpt doesn't do it justice, but I hope it gets you to go and read the whole thing...

...

~~~~~~~

My first spinner pick for Non-Erotic poetry was one of mine, so I spun again, and was pleasantly surprised to discover this one by Rybka

Sleepy Reality

Note from Cordelia: I couldn't do the poem credit by pasting it here, as all the centering disappeared, and I don't want to detract from the poem by changing the visual on it. Take my word for it. Go read it.

...

Cordie, thanks for finding that old one of mine. It was a tribute to Senna Jawa at the time I first encountered him. Obviously I would not write it now.

I agree with your choices for today, but find it interesting that you chose to quote the one stanza of denis hale’s poem that I objected to.

The poem by nakedwithagirl that I liked best was
Painful Haiku #. It isn’t quite what I would call Haiku, but it is a three liner with a very nice twist. I wish I had thought of it first. R

I have loved before
only then, the difference was
I forgot to breathe

Regards, Rybka

 

[ExistentialLuv]

Hi all, really enjoying the poetry on lit.
I have posted a few myself, been viewed by many but not voted on, I think they are good and thode who read them seem to think they are great
Looking for some constructive critism or your praise

The titles are

Opposition

Who's Reality

Submitted 2 today so keep your eyes open

Essoteric Love

Erotic Game (pretty basic but remenance of one of the greatest nights I have had)

 

[Angeline]

August 20, 2003

Lots of new stuff today, but only a few appealed. Read for yourself, vote, and give feedback.

Holding, one by RazzRajen is almost more muse than poem but is, as always, beautifully stated.


Ships in the dark, ground under,
Hopes dashed and then uplifted
Many falter and so
who Looks for the high falutin’
Give Me One who walks
and knows the way

No eyes, no sockets
the mind His guide

Then there's unwrapped by Tangerine Sex Dream. I think this is my pick of the day--a poem that is clearly written with a universal message. Who hasn't felt this at one time or another?

how quick we are to forget
the last pain, most recent pain
when new love happens by
I wish I could strangle
this rebellious heart of mine
and leave it alone to wither and die

And finally, Up the Hill by tmt is an arresting story. I think with some judicious editing this could be a masterpiece--it just feels to me like it needs to be less narrative to play up the very strong images it includes.

Later
As I tried to keep the
Now nodding Bear from drooling
On my pants
Turning down the lady and her
Magic mixes
Nothing they could offer would bring me back


See you Friday.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Very slow day at the New Poetry list, but with a couple of poems worthy of your attention:

-------------------------------------------------
Red Moon Rising
by neonurotic ©

This is not only a well accomplished poem, it is also visually very appealing. An excellent combination of poetry and graphic art. Follow the link and check it out for yourselves-

-------------------------------------------------
Seasonal Changes
by RazzRajen ©

At the end of the day, I sit on the verandah
sometimes
ruminating, watching as the leaves rustle
I sit and watch and the seasons change
winter spring fall and summer

[...]

No need to comment. A slightly different approach, this time, slower paced, but as compelling as ever.

-------------------------------------------------

 

[Maria2394]

Very slow day at the New Poetry list, but with a couple of poems worthy of your attention:

-------------------------------------------------
Red Moon Rising
by neonurotic ©

This is not only a well accomplished poem, it is also visually very appealing. An excellent combination of poetry and graphic art. Follow the link and check it out for yourselves-

-------------------------------------------------
Seasonal Changes
by RazzRajen ©

At the end of the day, I sit on the verandah
sometimes
ruminating, watching as the leaves rustle
I sit and watch and the seasons change
winter spring fall and summer

[...]

No need to comment. A slightly different approach, this time, slower paced, but as compelling as ever.

-------------------------------------------------

neos red moon rising would make an awesome full size poster, wouldnt it?

 

[The_Fool]

neos red moon rising would make an awesome full size poster, wouldnt it?

Yep...

 

[The_Fool]

Seasonal Changes
by RazzRajen ©

At the end of the day, I sit on the verandah
sometimes
ruminating, watching as the leaves rustle
I sit and watch and the seasons change
winter spring fall and summer

[...]

No need to comment. A slightly different approach, this time, slower paced, but as compelling as ever.

-------------------------------------------------

I enjoyed Seasonal Changes as well. There are hints of themes that I try to use in my stuff too...

Wanted to correct the link for]Seasonal Changes though.

Fool

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Oops

 

[Angeline]

Red Moon Rising

Another vote for this terrific illustrated piece by neonurotic. To my thinking, this does all the things a graphic poem should do. It's not just words on a photo--the two are blended, so that each medium complements the other. Really beautifully done!