new poems

[darkmaas]

25 August, 2003

Thirteen lucky poems today.

Two are fine examples at opposite ends of the poetic spectrum. (I've already worn out the bookends image, so think of them as red and violet poems)

At the red end is RazzRajen's Growth

...
sometimes the earth gives up
its fertile gut
...

Razz takes the humble maggot to places poetic and not so poetic. Read it.



The shrinking violet is oxalis' atop your bed

...
your embrace is real life
wandering in satin factory
lost, not wanting found

this poem has everything; brandy, woman, sensual fabrics and a lovely play on the rollercoaster as a sexual cliché.


Last week, you may recall, there was a puddle of hurt feelings over my lame attempt to review a new poet. Not to be deterred, I suggest you read and encourage the_sensual_world who admits to being shy but has two poems today:Healer and To He Who Wastes My Time


Let me quit while I'm ahead.

darkmaas.

 

[oxalis]

Dm>

shrinking violet?
Ahhh, thanks

that's ok
thank you for mention

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: 25 August, 2003

Thirteen lucky poems today.

Two are fine examples at opposite ends of the poetic spectrum. (I've already worn out the bookends image, so think of them as red and violet poems)

At the red end is RazzRajen's Growth Razz takes the humble maggot to places poetic and not so poetic. Read it.



darkmaas.

darkmaas,
Love the way you use the words to convey your sense of what the poems are for you.

Thanks for views and the mention.

Razz

 

[darkmaas]

Purple prose

shrinking violet?
Ahhh, thanks

Sorry oxalis. What was I thinking?

I sorta boxed myself into a corner. The violet cried out for a modifier and the only words that popped into the void atop d'mass' shoulders were "shrinking" and "african".

Now the african violet is a houseplant favoured by little old ladies of my mother's vintage. It is thoroghly unsuitable for erotic poetry in general, and (with all due respect) your poem in particular so you were saddled with "shrinking". At the time it seemed acceptable since your style is very "condensed".

If I had to live my life over again, perhaps I would do something differently- maybe stick with the ol' bookends.

Still, after all is said and done, it's a very fine poem.

darkmaas

 

[WickedEve]

8-26

15 New Poems today and here they are:

There's the kiss by little_squirtie © so many ways to say something without uttering a word. If you have a hankering to read about lil flicker of the tongue then check it out.

My World by peacefulpoetess © is hating the world and my place fighting to cut, tear, and destroy and Keeping my secret Hiding away Slitting my flesh.

After the kisses and despair, along came a Porcelain bird by RazzRajen © and the dulcet tones of that little bird red and gold and blue like a porcelain doll Made the sun seem ashamed to rise.


Whether one hump or two
A hammer, iron or screw
Any day of the week
No matter which cheek
Will turn a blushing hue
Limer-licks
by Callibombe ©
There was a young lady from France
Who had a large hole in her pants
So that when she bent over
You could see clear to Dover
The perfect cliffs for your lance


You ply my legs far apart, wider and wider like a common tart. Then positioned above me you make me wait-as to what next will be my fate...The Bold, Beautiful and the Bawdy by Callibombe ©

Slow and steady, then hard and fast
Come on baby spank that ass
Left to right, right to left
Lovin' so good you're out of breath
So Hypnotic Hypnotize by prncssnthepiper ©

serenade of serendipity and wired by air2o ©

The Forbidden Fruit by TTeddy © sweeps through my inner essence.

Finding a Friend by Cloudbrst9 © is not that easy, though.

littlekateyes © has A beautiful soul
When my family and friends gazed
They saw thinning hair
Muscle mass gone
Bones were at the surface for all to see
To them I was repulsive

I still saw nothing but bulge,
I saw that same repulsive ogre
How could this have happen?
Was my mind playing a trick like a fun house mirror?
Who was crazy, them or I?

Is DoitallMan © also The Kinky Man? Well, he does say:
I am called the kinky man
Loving women with anything goes
Changing good ways to love like trash
Curling many toes making me horny
Until i can't resist it's in your ass

Urruptus
by peacefulpoetess ©
Red consumes your face, its apparent
Oh no I have done it again
Wick to your dynamite stick short
Explode in mind blowing chaos
Blow your stack, like a volcano

you told me i was not worthy, that i had failed but i am worthy by little_squirtie ©

If it should be that I grow weak and pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what should be done, for this last battle can’t be won.
Misty by angelbaby791 ©

Open her world she came into mine, a blushing bride, Jasper man's bride by JasperMan ©

 

[Angeline]

darkmaas leaps in

15 New Poems today and here they are

Wowzers Eve! Marathon reviewing--what a tour de force!

I on the other hand will be doing zilch reviewing this week, having been dragged into familial and decidedly less poetic activities this Friday. But yes there will be reviews. The fearless darkmaas, perhaps in a moment of pre-prandial madness, offered to do the reviews for me and I--stunning him with the alacrity of my response--said yessssssss.

Thank you dear Fonce, um I mean darkmaas. Disposa is right: you're a very nice man.

 

[Guest]

re: I am worthy..

i am nor equipped to critique anything..smiles..but i would like to say that i liked it a great deal..

ssilversong

 

[OT]

Wednesday's New Poems

I've only time
for a lame little rhyme
to ...

nope, I guess I don't have time for that either.
Go read the new poems and see if any are to your liking.

I think I'll have to bow out of the regular review-rotation for a bit and return to quiet lurking.

Wednesday's are up for grabs.

 

[WickedEve]

I only had time to read a few of the regulars and all 3 of these are good:

clippings:spes and time
by Maria2394 ©

Lover's smiles
by RazzRajen ©

breakfast
by oxalis ©

I'm sure I missed something good. Anyone else want to add to the list?

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: 8-26

15 New Poems today and here they are:


After the kisses and despair, along came a Porcelain bird by RazzRajen © and the dulcet tones of that little bird red and gold and blue like a porcelain doll Made the sun seem ashamed to rise.

Wednesdays poems

I only had time to read a few of the regulars and all 3 of these are good:

clippings:spes and time
by Maria2394 ©

Lover's smiles
by RazzRajen ©

breakfast
by oxalis ©


Thanks Eve for taking the time and the mention.
I know how tedious it can get and Thank you again for the time you spend on this.

Razz

 

[Rybka]

Some More to Read

...
I'm sure I missed something good. Anyone else want to add to the list?

Here are two that I like and one that I feel obligated to mention.

mirror image by DutchMark. O.K. I give up! I cannot make an active link to this poem. You will have to go to New Poetry, and make up your own mind.

Epiphany by ScottishChieftan, who writes too infrequently, IMHO.

The other one is by 7thsonoferos. Who, for once, writes about a subject we all have discussed (not disgust). Others have said it better, but at least he writes on a topic with more general appeal than usual. I, for one, have never commented on any of his work before, and this will be the last as well as the first until he improves in quality as well as subject matter, but I do want to acknowledge this submission. Critics Spur Me On

 

[ScottishChieftan]

WOW! Thanks for saying you liked that poem, Ryb! Also was tickled to see the writes to infrequently line, most people say I write too much and to shut the hell up! I write most every day, just don't share them here because I am nowhere near par with the quality that I see ya'll posting. Mine isn't rymes or witty banter, but usually a poem of pain and anguish, just to vent my soul less it explode. lol
Oh! By the way....what is IMHO? Sorry, sometimes I am a cyber-cherry

 

[SkipBoxx]

Hi everyone.. New to this thread.

Here's my latest, love your feedback

Cheers,
Skip

 

[Rybka]

WOW! Thanks for saying you liked that poem, Ryb! Also was tickled to see the writes to infrequently line, most people say I write too much and to shut the hell up! I write most every day, just don't share them here because I am nowhere near par with the quality that I see ya'll posting. Mine isn't rymes or witty banter, but usually a poem of pain and anguish, just to vent my soul less it explode. lol
Oh! By the way....what is IMHO? Sorry, sometimes I am a cyber-cherry

FYI (for your information), IMHO means "In My Humble Opinion".
I have commented favorably on your submissions in the past, and I would disagree with your evaluation of your writing if you refer to all of the poems submitted. You write well above the average poems submitted to Literotica. But, like all of us, there is always room for improvement.
Please feel welcome to join us on this forum. The interchange benefits all involved. (But you may need to grow a thick hide until you adapt to the various styles of some regulars.)

Please keep writing and sharing!

Regards, Rybka

 

[champagne1982]

[...] I write most every day, just don't share them here because I am nowhere near par with the quality that I see ya'll posting. Mine isn't rymes or witty banter, but usually a poem of pain and anguish, just to vent my soul less it explode. [...]

Hi Chief,

It is good to see your writing mentioned in the review. I seem to enjoy your free verse more than the lyrical poetry I looked at before. I hope to find time to sample more of your works than just the two I've read so far.

 

[Maria2394]

I only had time to read a few of the regulars and all 3 of these are good:

clippings:spes and time
by Maria2394 ©

add to the list?

Thank you for the mention, Eve

 

[destinie21]

Just Venting

I don't have kids
but poetry is my baby
So when I lactate
it’s to attack hate
but

All I get is irate
responses

Get this
I'm a lesbian
so all of a sudden

"I hate men"

Come again?

I got a father and a brother
and my past is checkered
with one or two lovers

When my womb is my brain
and my heart is my pen
I'll re write every rhyme
in time
just so it can be reincarnated and
born again

Birthed from my essence
without sin
prolific and magnificent

No offence meant
I'm heaven sent and earthbound
and she's the only one
who don't turn my upside down

No phallic false hood
Love always,

Miss Understood

 

[ScottishChieftan]

BRAVO destinie! Eloquent and magnificent. Stirring to the mind and soul. I am checking out some more of your stuff!

 

[SkipBoxx]

Re: Just Venting

Originally posted by destinie21
No phallic false hood
Love always,
Miss Understood

Great poem, love your work.

Though I'm but a humble male poet..

Cheers,
Skip

 

[Cordelia]

New poems 8/28/03

Good evening, folks! There were 14 new poems today.

Here are the ones I think you should check out:

~~~~~~~
ScottishChieftan gives us two poems today. I didn't find too much originality in Atop the Crag (which, inexplicably, is in the Poetry with Audio category, and I could hear nothing), but I highly recommend reading Alone because of the stark image it conveys.

~~~~~~~
There's a poem by newer poet ffreak, that I feel I must mention. On the whole, Raspberry Tulips is a typical erotic poem (i.e. not much original), but the first line is outstanding. It was enough to cause me to go and check out his other poem posted. The Taste of Love was not earth-shaking, but it had this line that made me smile:

I dressed in my most natural suit.
And chose the order of my urgency.

~~~~~~~
Go and check out the two posted by air2o:

Michelin
15 degrees from dinner, self

~~~~~~~
And one from oxalis that should have been under the Erotic Poem category, that tongue.

oh my, your hive because it buzz
so high press thigh against
the heels the black the
imprinted cry of depressed
mattress compromised my squirties

~~~~~~~
And, finally, my pick of the day:

piranha by smithpeter. I didn't even find the alliteration pretentious.

into the nest scurry
sated feeders
naturally selecting
submissive submersion

a celebration of dorsal
pectoral, pelvic-
iridescent angelfish
set the mood

Did Rybka inspire this? Just curious.

~~~~~~~
Go read and give feedback. And let me know if there's something I didn't mention that caught your eye.


Cordelia

 

[smithpeter]

Cordelia

Oh wow!
deep grin and thank you.
lately the nice things said here by nice people are helping me much
in decisions and creative saliva jostling.
Thank you, Cordelia and all.


Rybka? Nope, but he is nice too-

 

[ScottishChieftan]

Poetry with audio? Hmmmmmmm, someone screwed up! What ya' wanna bet it was ME! lol

I ain't smart enough to put audio with it.

Thanks for the nod, Cord!

 

[Rybka]

Re: New poems 8/28/03

...
And, finally, my pick of the day:

piranha by smithpeter. I didn't even find the alliteration pretentious.

Did Rybka inspire this? Just curious.
...
Cordelia

I am more of a pariah than a piranha.

 

[darkmaas]

New Poems Friday 29th August

An extremely quiet day on the new poems desk. In fact the excitement on the fresh poetry front is in the threads not the "new poems". Destinie21 has blessed us with several poetic "rants". You can't miss them. I took the liberty (in lieu of a spinner) of looking in her archives. The first poem I read was Burnt Coffee and let's just say it made me smile and hit the early morning spot. Go read her stuff.

On to the official new poems.

Four poets vie for your attention today, so everyone gets a tip of the hat.

For those of you who distrust poetic ambiguity, 7thsonoferos has posted four poems. Read them all and see which on you like best. It's tough, but my vote goes to On The Tip of My Tongue

Then we come to Man Ray's A cat on a mat!, a sculpted poem resulting from a cross between Rybka and Dr. Seus.

Ephemeral by RazzRajan offers up a baroque medley of "The Birds", Mother Earth and dark melancholy. (The 5+++ at the beginning of the last stanza perplexed me, but the poem still works well without it. I'm hoping it's a typo.)

Last, but certainly not least, a trio of Senna Jawas. (If Razz is baroque, then Senna is sleekly postmodern). I am certain that [stretching--] was written with my butt in mind. Thanks Senna. If one looks beneath the crafty wordplay, thank U, seems to be an ode to Euclid CA. Darkmaas once spent a night in Euclid and I certainly cannot concur with the poet's sentiment.

That's all folks. You know the drill. Read, vote and feed back.

darkmaas.

 

[Guest]

Re: Alone, by Scottish Chieftain

I can only say that I found the image this piece brought to mind breathtaking in its bleakness/loneliness. I am only expressing how the piece made me feel..smiles..not presuming to critique in any way.

It was wonderful.

ssilversong