new poems

[perks]

Did the poetry Dominatrix whip the Fool into shape today?

I can imagine that too clearly
SNAP~*

impressive, love.

I especially enjoyed

Trumpet Triolet

The subject matter lends itself deliciously to this distinct form. I could feel the soulful bluesy notes weave in and out suddenly sweetly crisp and clear

also would like to mention that Razz has a poem out called


The Harshness of Light

those sheets are crumpled
as He sits sketching
her lines are askew and exhausted

could that image be more gorgeous? I think not.

another mention...
in a sea of cliche poems, this poet takes a well worn subject and writes it differently enough for me that it caught my notice without making me want to vomit. That's good, right?

you don't know me by steve porter

I think this poet has great potential. I even write this subject matter cliche, and then horribly disfigure the paper I've written it on afterward, trying to blot out my cliched feelings on the matter.

Steve does a great job with using disctinct imagery and form within free style.

There are bits of this short poem that still bug me, words that don't fit, like "corpuscular" and cliche word groupings "cold as ice"
but still, even after all that...

you dont know me
like you used to
and i used to
know you too
didnt i…

i guess we just drifted slowly apart didnt we
like icebergs over a frozen sea of years.

the "didn't I..."
and "frozen sea of years" speak to me.

 

[The_Fool]

Did the poetry Dominatrix whip the Fool into shape today?

I can imagine that too clearly
SNAP~*

impressive, love.

I especially enjoyed

Trumpet Triolet

The subject matter lends itself deliciously to this distinct form. I could feel the soulful bluesy notes weave in and out suddenly sweetly crisp and clear

Thanks for the mention. These were all poems I had posted in various threads. Felt like I wanted to save them in something a little more permanent since threads seem to disappear when I'm not looking. Interesting that you picked Trumpet Triolet as your favorite. That one didn't get too many comments (compared to that frigging sestina ). Anyway, I enjoyed that one as well. I think I've chased Disposa away though. I will have to come up with something sufficiently risque to catch her jaded eye.

Thanks again,

Fool

 

[Cordelia]

new poems 11/06/03

Okay, since perks did me the favor of mentioning many of the good poems, I'll just add to the list of "go and read" poetry.

~~~~~~~

The_Fool has a bunch of poems posted. All of them exceptional.

I particularly liked Driving The Blues, but read them all. You won't be disappointed. I wasn't.

~~~~~~~

I also loved gentle tinkle soul by svelte walker

A fine collection of almost-images that set my synapses on end.

~~~~~~~

jthserra had a couple poems posted.

I enjoyed reading I Rain in particular. A wonder of word-smithing.

~~~~~~~

And finally, I'd love to mention a new poem by a brand new poet. I thought there were a few weak spots to the poem, but there are so many wonderful parts, I feel I must rave.

Go read skating around the truth by christine3377

and discover wondrous lines such as:

[...]
in case of emergency
use a scalpel to remove the heartache
[...]

and:

[...]
faking prayers like orgasms
trying to fit a list of a month's worth of sin
into a two minute time slot
[...]

~~~~~~~

Go read, give feedback, and vote.


Cordelia

 

[RazzRajen]

also would like to mention that Razz has a poem out called


The Harshness of Light

those sheets are crumpled
as He sits sketching
her lines are askew and exhausted

could that image be more gorgeous? I think not.

Thanks perks for the mention, Nice to see that others find something to like in words I string together.

Razz

 

[Angeline]

Novenber 7, 2003

Lots of good stuff in new poems today. Read them all and, when you do, please vote and send feedback. Good poems live, and so does this board!

*****


good girl by WriterDom

This is a well-written, cohesive poem--its organization is meticulous. What makes it distinctive for me though is its very effective tone--a voice that is clipped and authoritative, yet somehow loving. It really works to establish the dominant's voice.

"Inspection"
standing before him
eyes cast downward
legs spread wide
fingers interlocked behind her neck

nude, except for the leather
loosely around her neck
tighter around wrists and ankles

the keeper of the crop
a soft leather loop
pressed gently to her lips
for a soft kiss
"good girl"



*****

Evening's StarSong by Bedazzler

Here's a charming fantasy piece that has some terrific wordplay in it--worth the read for these two lines alone:

a heavy sigh a knowing smile; the granting of a boon
and then I go adragonback and hide behind the Moon ~

*****
nothing like a good hang by smithpeter

smithpeter's poems always makes me stretch my imagination; it's something I really enjoy about his work. This one about adjustments goes everywhere from definitions of "cold" to hangers and shoulders and more, with all these changes set to the march music of a parade. It's just delightful to read. I sure do love the way you write, smithpeter.

the wire hanger distorts the contours of soft and fuzzy sweater all
over,
again the natural shape of my human shoulders overcome
this abomination and snit

when I smoked, snit spat to the earth made good points
of extinguish.

*****
There are some good poems today (including a tour de force from jthserra), so it's almost unfair to choose just one, but sometimes a quietly powerful message is just right for this poet, so here's my favorite today.

the invention by Palau


This deceptively small poem took me a few reads to really feel (as any nuanced writing will), and then made me catch my breath. What a powerfully positive message--whether you analyze something or just appreciate it (like the sky), it's good. When you dream, you see it again, reflected as if in water. Here's the whole thing--read it.

look, it works
it is good and beautiful
all people are enriched
all animals smile

the sky is rainbow and philosophical
the dirt is studying
rocks glow with humor
KNOWLEDGE is ALL

when we who observe
note it no longer matters
to shut eyes
to sleep, dream is life as water

*****

There are two poems today from jthserra. They're both wonderful. This poet has a great gift, in my opinion. He has a powerful command of the English language, demonstrated by the exquisite images he creates.

First, there's an odd earthy yet spiritual-feeling triolet, A Clay without Man--


In the stained pulse of earth You ran
faceless, voiceless to yesterday,


And then there's Calling Crows, a stunner of a poem about Ted Hughes, the controversial English poet and husband of the tragic Sylvia Plath. You can read this poem and appreciate its carefully choreographed play of images and its refrain that shifts in meaning from stanza to stanza. If you really want to know what jthserra is getting at here though read about Hughes' marriage to Plath, the allegations of his abuse of her, and the way he is vilified even now, five years after his death. The quote that precedes the poem is from Hughes most famous poem, which uses the crow as a metaphor for knowledge of good and evil. Bravo, Jthserra!

Each year the headstone defaced
His name struck from the stone
His shame remembered
Now cast in bronze
To weather the blows
And she, still silent
So painfully silent.

*****


Finally, do read the latest entry from RazzRajen's Strings, musings on--6, a beautiful and rather painful poem, in my opinion. It has a somewhat distant almost ethereal feel as if the speaker survives loss by being objective. Characteristically Razz, methinks, questing and questioning delicately.

Think You to hold her
Think again
carefully and be strong
All she ever wants is your caress
and your approbation
Give it
and watch





Happy weekend, everyone.

Ange

 

[Bedazzler]

Re: Novenber 7, 2003

[/B]

~ Thank you Angeline ~

 

[The_Fool]

Re: new poems 11/06/03

Okay, since perks did me the favor of mentioning many of the good poems, I'll just add to the list of "go and read" poetry.

~~~~~~~

The_Fool has a bunch of poems posted. All of them exceptional.

I particularly liked Driving The Blues, but read them all. You won't be disappointed. I wasn't.

....


Cordelia

Thanks for the mention Cordelia. I keeping think I need to come up with something structured and sexy and mathematical just for you...

I'm foolish enough to think I can pull it off too.

Thanks again and have a great weekend.

Fool

 

[jthserra]

thank you...

Thank you Cordelia for mentioning my poems. I do need to make note of a correction... I mispelled the name of Hughes' mistress, the correct spelling is Assia, not Assisa. As a historic note, Assia also committed suicide. She pulled a cot into the kitchen with her daughter and turned on the gas, killing both. It is interesting that while Sylvia went to some lengths to protect her children from the gas, Assia chose the opposite.

thanks again,

jim

 

[Angeline]

thank you...
Thank you Cordelia for mentioning my poems. I do need to make note of a correction... I mispelled the name of Hughes' mistress, the correct spelling is Assia, not Assisa. As a historic note, Assia also committed suicide. She pulled a cot into the kitchen with her daughter and turned on the gas, killing both. It is interesting that while Sylvia went to some lengths to protect her children from the gas, Assia chose the opposite.

thanks again,

jim

My pleasure; I really enjoyed reading both, but next time I must insist you call me Angeline.

 

[jthserra]

OOPS... another mispelling

Oops... it seems I mispelled Angeline's name. The correct spelling is Angeline, not Cordelia.

Angeline, please accept my apology. Thank you for the mention...

jim

 

[Angeline]

OOPS... another mispelling
Oops... it seems I mispelled Angeline's name. The correct spelling is Angeline, not Cordelia.

Angeline, please accept my apology. Thank you for the mention...

jim

Of course, it's quite alright. I always try to forgive those whose poems I really like.

Ange

 

[Disposa Girl]

Le Fool dite moi
I enjoyed that one as well. I think I've chased Disposa away though. I will have to come up with something sufficiently risque to catch her jaded eye.

Mon cher, c'est no possible to "chase away" la femme Disposa, who naturellement, only leaves of her own accord, tripping off or--needless to say--riding in a very special blue truck.

Unfortunately le tres cruel Angeline is packing me off to Paris for a bit (although revenge is, as you know cherie, a dish best served cold, so I'll be taking her credit card. ) Keep the passenger seat warm for me mon Fool unless, of course, you can get away for a few weeks.

 

[Cordelia]

My pleasure; I really enjoyed reading both, but next time I must insist you call me Angeline.

Hey! I mentioned his poems, too!

(And I'm flattered to be mixed up with the charming Angeline)


Cordelia

 

[Palau]

to Angeline

thank you, for your kind mention,
I am happy to have entertained you.

my time here is coming away.
bags are being packed
labels affixed, no lose is sure

 

[Angeline]

Hey! I mentioned his poems, too!

(And I'm flattered to be mixed up with the charming Angeline)


Cordelia

only one letter apart, dear lady


<and tosses to the departing Palau>

 

[The_Fool]

Mon cher, c'est no possible to "chase away" la femme Disposa, who naturellement, only leaves of her own accord, tripping off or--needless to say--riding in a very special blue truck.

Unfortunately le tres cruel Angeline is packing me off to Paris for a bit (although revenge is, as you know cherie, a dish best served cold, so I'll be taking her credit card. ) Keep the passenger seat warm for me mon Fool unless, of course, you can get away for a few weeks.

Ma cherie, if it weren't for all these responsibilities, I would be sharing First Class with the woman of my dreams. The places we could go, the things we could see, the champagne we could share....All on Angeline. Life is so unfair.

Spare for me an evening and we will go for a ride. Share a little gin, a little jazz some casual conversation. If the evening is a little chill, perhaps we can find something else to warm us up....

Until you return...

Fool

 

[jthserra]

thank you Cordelia

Please forgive my total confusion here. I have been traveling and haven't been able to check in for more than a few moments...

Thank you Cordelia for the mention of my poem "I Rain". It was written after the tragic death of a very young and extremely talented poet.

I appreciate the mention,

jim

 

[Angeline]

Ma cherie, if it weren't for all these responsibilities, I would be sharing First Class with the woman of my dreams. The places we could go, the things we could see, the champagne we could share....All on Angeline. Life is so unfair.

Et tu, Fool?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

8th November 2003

I'm a little pressed for time, so forgive the brevity of today's recommendations. There are ten new poems for the 8th, plus three early 9th entries in the new poetry list, so you may as well check them all out.

My favourites, though, are

first snow
by Maria2394 ©

Brown and yellow oak leaves
clung to dampened ground
like curious children
with sticky faces
pressed against foggy windows.

[...]


Spying Sylvia
by jthserra ©

I long to hear your voice,
      to hear your poems
      as you
            speak them,
      as you feel them.
I long to visit your house
      so I can envision
       spying
            at you through
      the kitchen window.

[...]


and especially,

yes, her pimp said no
by Maria2394 ©

yeah, everybody knows Karlie
hottest tightest tits and ass around

spreading herself loose and thin
all over the pulsing dance floor

[...]


Enjoy. I did.

 

[Maria2394]

Re: 8th November 2003

I'm a little pressed for time, so forgive the brevity of today's recommendations. There are ten new poems for the 8th, plus three early 9th entries in the new poetry list, so you may as well check them all out.

My favourites, though, are

first snow
by Maria2394 ©

Brown and yellow oak leaves
clung to dampened ground
like curious children
with sticky faces
pressed against foggy windows.

[...]


Spying Sylvia
by jthserra ©

I long to hear your voice,
      to hear your poems
      as you
            speak them,
      as you feel them.
I long to visit your house
      so I can envision
       spying
            at you through
      the kitchen window.

[...]


and especially,

yes, her pimp said no
by Maria2394 ©

yeah, everybody knows Karlie
hottest tightest tits and ass around

spreading herself loose and thin
all over the pulsing dance floor

[...]


Enjoy. I did.

thanks for the mention(s) Lauren

the first one is a resurrection of old memories and the second, curiousity as to why a man would be jealous of men looking at his stripper-wife's feet...irony in the oddest places, ya know?

thanks again, maria

 

[RazzRajen]

Re: Novenber 7, 2003

Lots of good stuff in new poems today. Read them all and, when you do, please vote and send feedback. Good poems live, and so does this board!

*****




Finally, do read the latest entry from RazzRajen's Strings, musings on--6, a beautiful and rather painful poem, in my opinion. It has a somewhat distant almost ethereal feel as if the speaker survives loss by being objective. Characteristically Razz, methinks, questing and questioning delicately.

Think You to hold her
Think again
carefully and be strong
All she ever wants is your caress
and your approbation
Give it
and watch





Happy weekend, everyone.

Ange

Thanks Angeline for the mention and the perspective you draw out so finely.

The first flakes are falling here and its an early start to a cold season... < Good writing weather>

Razz

 

[steve porter]

you dont know me

thank you perks for your review and excellent critique...youre right: corpuscular is awkward...i used it as a deliberate code word as to who the poem was written for but now im changing it to genetic which i think ifts better...also transposing hard and cold to avoid cold as ice cliche...thanks again...steve.

 

[Rybka]

New Poems on 11/09/03

There are a double baker's dozen new submissions on this Sunday, and I bring one "spinner" as always.

For today's spun oldie I offer Sculpture of Diana by Never. This appears to be her only submission to Lit. I choose it because it is a nicely written period piece, and as such really doesn't belong here.

Within the forest’s thorny bows,
A single figure stands,
The statue of some goddess fair,
Kidnapped from foreign lands.

Wild Jasmine blossoms at Her feet,
Dew pools in marbled eyes
To trail down spider-woven gowns
And fallow sod baptize.

The starling sings Her sacred hymns.
The red buck, now Her priest,
Both fail to light a flame to Her,
When seasons bring Her feast.

My Lady’s now a mossy stone,
Abandoned and forgot.
Shall we curse he whose mortal hand,
Had brought you here to rot?

******

The first to rise above the horizon of mediocrity this Sunday Is Angeline with Moonstruck. While this this poem is not one of her best works, it is still well worth reading. so go do it.

oxalis is a good writer who does not post with great frequency any more on Lit. Perhaps the title gives us a clue, "slump". Go give some feedback.

I next mention Graustark by jthserra, a fairly new, but prolific poet here who will surely continue to improve as he develops his talent. This poem is a bit dark for my Sunday morning taste, but the imagery is quite strong.

...
Legendary city, once vibrant, oozes
an endless flow of lifeblood into puddles,
truth and lies desiccate, forever staining
the streets in congealing verse.

This same author also presents Genshi Bukadan (Original Child Bomb) I presume he is mining the mythic history of India. Further down this mornings' list jthserra switches gears and tells us A Secret?. I like this last one the best of the three, probably because I can understand it without doing any research.

I often feel guilty when I find no works by new poets that I consider worthy of mentioning. Believe it or not, the regular contributors to thie site are not shown favoritism by me (nor by other reviewers I am sure). In reality I hold them to a higher standard than the new or infrequent posters. Thus I am very pleased when I read an offering like The Rose by angel_thigh_highs. This basic metaphor has been nicely followed to completion and the lifestyle inclinations of the author are barely noticeable, something that is not common here. This may not be "great" poetry, but it is above average for Literotica. - Keep writing Angel.

He came upon the rose bush, limbs broken, vines choking it.
but He saw a dream, saw a bud still trying to bloom
saw it trying to survive, to grow, saw it fighting
He nurtured it, fed it, showed it love
He took away the vines wrapped around it and set it free
He tenderly touched it with his loving hands
as each day He cared for it, watered it, fed it
till one day He went to check on it
His eyes afire like rays of sunlight!
He saw the beauty of a once tightly closed bud
now blooming and showing in all it's glory
the greens had grown stronger and it stood taller,
it's blossoms now bursting with pride
the bush shook as it saw Him come near
drifting down to His feet the most perfect bloom laid
an offering in thanks for his love, care and nurturing

RazzRajen is a frequent contributor. Perhaps too frequent in my humble opinion. There is no doubt that Razz has talent, but it seems to me that his work would improve if he backed off on the quantity and spent more time polishing each piece. I read and enjoy his poetry, but it has been awhile since I have felt compelled to rave about any one of his offerings. Nevertheless, go read Songs.

...
The soul can never be changed, bartered
Only that primal force can touch the core
Play those notes again, dear song
and take Us higher than ever before

Looking at the bright hues burning away
what was that which came alive
snifted and shifted ...

Now denis hale is another pullulative poster. So far his work has not begun to suffer. Denis is still consistantly producing solid 5s. Go read Living Will and enjoy his deft touch as he brings humor as well as great descriptive phrases to the reader. This is the best of the day.


On a more personal level, I lost all my data two weeks ago during a computer upgrade. - So PLEASE be sure to back-up, back-up, and back-up. Hard disks may be much more dependable now-a-days, but technicians aren't.
Also I mentioned last Sunday that my poem Eye Chart was not properly displayed in the New Poems list. It took almost a week but a reasonably readable version is now posted and can be read by anyone so interested.


As always, please go and read the rest of today's new postings on the New Poems page. I may have overlooked a poem that you will really like. Remember to vote and send feedback. Our poets need support.

Regards,                 Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Thank You

The first to rise above the horizon of mediocrity this Sunday Is Angeline with Moonstruck. While this poem this poem is not one of her best works, it is still well worth reading. so go do it.

Thank you Rybka. I appreciate the mention and the reads that come from it.


I concur with your recommendations today; that spinner pick from Never is lovely and from today's list, I really liked jthserra's poems, especially A Secret. I find his poetic voice quite sophisticated; I love the way he manages to balanace cerebral musing with vivid images.

There must be more, a meter
a rhyme... ah, a rhythm, I hear you man
the verse flows into something
something important, something meaningful
something odd and in the flow
someone is touched, moved, loved
or scarred, always scarred.

 

[oxalis]

thank you, fish human,
stars and grapes