jthserra
Thousand Cranes
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 678
response to rybka...
I think the point I wanted to make with the concrete was that "placed" was the correct usage, given the properties of concrete and that "poured" was not a correct usage for the material.
As for footbinding, the analogy is not correct. The ancient practice deforms the foot, through a restriction of growth through binding. In bonsai, growth is not restricted, it is redirected. With proper techniques, the tree is not bound to limit growth. Actually growth is encouraged with each pruning, and this continued growth improves the health of the tree.
Castration is not a good analogy either, since the proper pruning of a tree encourages growth, while what is castrated does not grow back. A properly pruned branch will put out new growth, a pruned young man will not.
While I have heard of some chemical treatment for lawns and some trees to restrict growth, I have never heard of it being used in the dwarfing of trees for bonsai. For bonsai, leaf reduction and the reduction of size in the plant is all natural.
With respect to mowing yards... there is a chemical that will slow growth to a point where during the summer you will only have to mow once every six weeks. Let me know if you are interested and I will get you the name of the product.
I too dislike mowing and my wife won't buy my argument that it's better for the grass to grow uncut.
I think bonsai is an issue where we will disagree in perpetuity (please excuse my spelling there). While you feel that bonsai is not art, I feel it is one of the highest art forms we can experience.
Again, thank you for the comments, and also for the debate. I think I often get an interesting insight back into my poems as I discuss them. thanks...
jim
I think the point I wanted to make with the concrete was that "placed" was the correct usage, given the properties of concrete and that "poured" was not a correct usage for the material.
As for footbinding, the analogy is not correct. The ancient practice deforms the foot, through a restriction of growth through binding. In bonsai, growth is not restricted, it is redirected. With proper techniques, the tree is not bound to limit growth. Actually growth is encouraged with each pruning, and this continued growth improves the health of the tree.
Castration is not a good analogy either, since the proper pruning of a tree encourages growth, while what is castrated does not grow back. A properly pruned branch will put out new growth, a pruned young man will not.
While I have heard of some chemical treatment for lawns and some trees to restrict growth, I have never heard of it being used in the dwarfing of trees for bonsai. For bonsai, leaf reduction and the reduction of size in the plant is all natural.
With respect to mowing yards... there is a chemical that will slow growth to a point where during the summer you will only have to mow once every six weeks. Let me know if you are interested and I will get you the name of the product.
I too dislike mowing and my wife won't buy my argument that it's better for the grass to grow uncut.I think bonsai is an issue where we will disagree in perpetuity (please excuse my spelling there). While you feel that bonsai is not art, I feel it is one of the highest art forms we can experience.
Again, thank you for the comments, and also for the debate. I think I often get an interesting insight back into my poems as I discuss them. thanks...
jim
Rybka
Nit pick; pearl too!
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2002
- Posts
- 2,449
I Am Uncertain
Lately, as some of you may have noticed, I have been trying to find poems by new poets that are worth reading and recommending to others. zell19861986 has submitted four poems so far, two of them this Monday. They are all very dark in an adolescent manner. I would like some of you to go read them and tell me what you think.
Is this insightful talent developing itself, or the cry of a real life? I am perplexed. Are these 4s and 5s purposefully constructed as the are, or are they 1s and 2s full of errors and needing help? Here are the poem links in order of posting:
The Dagger
Father
Robert
A Brother's Love
Lately, as some of you may have noticed, I have been trying to find poems by new poets that are worth reading and recommending to others. zell19861986 has submitted four poems so far, two of them this Monday. They are all very dark in an adolescent manner. I would like some of you to go read them and tell me what you think.
Is this insightful talent developing itself, or the cry of a real life? I am perplexed. Are these 4s and 5s purposefully constructed as the are, or are they 1s and 2s full of errors and needing help? Here are the poem links in order of posting:
The Dagger
Father
Robert
A Brother's Love
The_Fool
smiling for the camera
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2003
- Posts
- 17,755
Okay Rybka,
I’ll play. I can sense your quandary. There are some glimpses of power in some of his words. A lot of raw emotion, but I like it simple, elemental, maybe what some would call primitive. A good edit would really help out in most cases. Anyway for what its worth, I went down the list:
The Dagger
This one was my least favorite. There was a key word missing in one line. Sorry, not to get onto that worn-out argument of what is and is not poetry, but to me it ain’t. To me its just run-on sentences.
Father
Spelling. Misused words. Some lines too wordy. Saying that, I thought it had promise. I could sense the anger, the frustration, the scorn. I liked the style as well, like I said some lines were too wordy in my opinion. A little polish could bring something very strong out. Number three for me out of four.
Robert
This one is the shit. It is good. I really like the way he plays the repetitive phrasing, keeping the same meaning but shifting just a bit. Similar, though primitive, to a villanelle in that aspect. I know those more structured than I will find that outrageous, but he plays well with his central theme. Again, spelling and misused words, but not as distracting here. This was my favorite.
A Brother’s Love
I liked this for many of the same reasons as I liked “Robert,” but I thought he drug it out just a little too long. Spelling and word selection. Some punctuation. More polish required. Number two for me.
I’ll play. I can sense your quandary. There are some glimpses of power in some of his words. A lot of raw emotion, but I like it simple, elemental, maybe what some would call primitive. A good edit would really help out in most cases. Anyway for what its worth, I went down the list:
The Dagger
This one was my least favorite. There was a key word missing in one line. Sorry, not to get onto that worn-out argument of what is and is not poetry, but to me it ain’t. To me its just run-on sentences.
Father
Spelling. Misused words. Some lines too wordy. Saying that, I thought it had promise. I could sense the anger, the frustration, the scorn. I liked the style as well, like I said some lines were too wordy in my opinion. A little polish could bring something very strong out. Number three for me out of four.
Robert
This one is the shit. It is good. I really like the way he plays the repetitive phrasing, keeping the same meaning but shifting just a bit. Similar, though primitive, to a villanelle in that aspect. I know those more structured than I will find that outrageous, but he plays well with his central theme. Again, spelling and misused words, but not as distracting here. This was my favorite.
A Brother’s Love
I liked this for many of the same reasons as I liked “Robert,” but I thought he drug it out just a little too long. Spelling and word selection. Some punctuation. More polish required. Number two for me.
Icingsugar
peas o kayk
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2003
- Posts
- 2,051
Rybka, I read the two latest poems by this zell gentleman, and I basically got the same impression as you. He has a very distinct and personal form of expression, and sometimes it works in his favor and sometimes it doesn't.
I wasn't exactly sure most of the time if the lines now and then that were so blatantly written that they made me crings actatally wasn't supposed to do just that. But no, I think that what we have here is a talent in rethorical rhythm, also capable of carving out occational hard-hitting lines, and who is improving as he goes along (his last two are much better than the first ones IMO). If he can polish off the rough edges (and I mean off his language, not his themes), this could get very interresting.
In the same spirit, I'd like to recommend the offerings of CutMeDown, who have three poems up yesterday. (where Denial is the best)They are not striking per se, and more often than not treads over the line between emotional and cliché cornyness. But there is a tone there, a verbal attitude that could develop into something really great. If you can get past the fact that she actually use lines line "I've got no more tears to cry" (all of the time) there are some hints, especially in the way that a line here and there completely throws things off balance, that she can develop her writing, once armed with a good batch of euphemisms and synonyms.
I wasn't exactly sure most of the time if the lines now and then that were so blatantly written that they made me crings actatally wasn't supposed to do just that. But no, I think that what we have here is a talent in rethorical rhythm, also capable of carving out occational hard-hitting lines, and who is improving as he goes along (his last two are much better than the first ones IMO). If he can polish off the rough edges (and I mean off his language, not his themes), this could get very interresting.
In the same spirit, I'd like to recommend the offerings of CutMeDown, who have three poems up yesterday. (where Denial is the best)They are not striking per se, and more often than not treads over the line between emotional and cliché cornyness. But there is a tone there, a verbal attitude that could develop into something really great. If you can get past the fact that she actually use lines line "I've got no more tears to cry" (all of the time) there are some hints, especially in the way that a line here and there completely throws things off balance, that she can develop her writing, once armed with a good batch of euphemisms and synonyms.
WickedEve
save an apple, eat eve
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2001
- Posts
- 11,470
new poems 11-25
Good morning. I suppose, at least for me, this is a jthserra day.
Nouveau Art
by jthserra ©
Nouveau art, sculpted by the masses,
oxidizes on torn metal flake. Patchwork lines
stitched where cheek met glass,
both yield in the name of art.
jthserra gives a violent, fast-paced look at art created on the road.
----------
Fish, Watermelon and Despair
by jthserra ©
1
The trout fishing
was good,
but something in
watermelon sugar
confused me.
Very intriguing poem. Another by jthserra that's well worth a read.
----------
Superlative
by jthserra ©
“I am,” what he is – all the same
fame in a fishbowl, expanded
the magnification of water
so pure and clean as algae grows
shows the greening of thought
caught in the flotsam, littered phrases
phases in a oeuvre, scratched
in tidbits, torn pages and Elmer’s.
The wastebasket fills too slowly
as the wary match yearns completion
the poetry of flame….
Thanks for the good poetry, jthserra.
Good morning. I suppose, at least for me, this is a jthserra day.
Nouveau Art
by jthserra ©
Nouveau art, sculpted by the masses,
oxidizes on torn metal flake. Patchwork lines
stitched where cheek met glass,
both yield in the name of art.
jthserra gives a violent, fast-paced look at art created on the road.
----------
Fish, Watermelon and Despair
by jthserra ©
1
The trout fishing
was good,
but something in
watermelon sugar
confused me.
Very intriguing poem. Another by jthserra that's well worth a read.
----------
Superlative
by jthserra ©
“I am,” what he is – all the same
fame in a fishbowl, expanded
the magnification of water
so pure and clean as algae grows
shows the greening of thought
caught in the flotsam, littered phrases
phases in a oeuvre, scratched
in tidbits, torn pages and Elmer’s.
The wastebasket fills too slowly
as the wary match yearns completion
the poetry of flame….
Thanks for the good poetry, jthserra.
BooMerengue
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2002
- Posts
- 5,456
Re: I Am Uncertain
I early on got the impression that this kid was from CoOp City, or someplace like it... And I felt like he finally found an English teacher that saw something, and was trying to encourage him. Then I went to his profile- no answers there except his age.
I think all 4 are reflections of something real that has happened to him- not to someone nearby.
I think The Dagger and Father were good enough to give 3's to (I never give less, to me a 3 is 'let's try a little harder here) and I gave 4's to Robert and A Brother's Love
IMHO if someone were to take this fellow in hand he would be a prize winning poet. Orrr.... IMH'erO a terriffic story writer!! (dodging the slings and arrows)
Rybka said:
I early on got the impression that this kid was from CoOp City, or someplace like it... And I felt like he finally found an English teacher that saw something, and was trying to encourage him. Then I went to his profile- no answers there except his age.
I think all 4 are reflections of something real that has happened to him- not to someone nearby.
I think The Dagger and Father were good enough to give 3's to (I never give less, to me a 3 is 'let's try a little harder here) and I gave 4's to Robert and A Brother's Love
IMHO if someone were to take this fellow in hand he would be a prize winning poet. Orrr.... IMH'erO a terriffic story writer!! (dodging the slings and arrows)
jthserra
Thousand Cranes
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 678
What is poetry??
In response to Rybka's query about Zell's poems, for me it falls back to something I have been struggling with of late, that is the question, "What is poetry?" The struggle I have faced with poetry dates back to my reading an article by Dana Gioia. Originally published in Atlantic Monthly, I first read Can Poetry Matter? in Gioia's book by the same title. This article got me questioning what I have written and what a lot of others have written. Now when I read, I find myself wondering if I am reading poetry or merely subdivided prose.
In looking at zell's poems, I first read "The Dagger" and immediately thought prose. Of course, written in a prose poem form, it jumped at me as perhaps flash fiction, and not poetry. That was my immediate reaction.
Moving onto his three other poems, I quickly realized that here was an example of what I have heard called prosody. As I read, I scanned the work for signs of poetry, for poetic language, for simile or metaphor, for imagery. I looked for rhyme, whether end rhyme or internal, I looked for alliteration, assonance, consonance, for something that could be associated with poetry.
The repetition in Father was intense, almost overpowering, but did it suddenly turn the prose into poetry? For me it didn't. I felt all three works: "Father" "Robert" and "A Brother's Love" were, in their current form, prose, or using the new catch phrase, prosody.
I agree with Fool, that there is potential here. I think if zell treated each of these works as drafts and tightened up the work. By working the language, taking advantage of the repetition by using some alliteration, perhaps some rhyme, zell's empassioned prose would become powerful poetry.
Back to "The Dagger"... after reading his three other poems, I realized that, despite its form, "The Dagger" is really the closest of all three to poetry. The dagger is a metaphor here. Again, I think this poem needs some further work, but I do have some level of comfort calling it a poem.
And yes, the dagger cuts both ways... as darkmaas alluded, my "The Numerology of Trees" (which I wrote in 1998 before I found myself in the poetry versus prosody quandry) is, looking at it critically, subdivided prose. Of course, my knee-jerk reply is, in its concrete form, with the lines arranged to resemble a bonsai, perhaps it becomes poetry. Or is that simply nicely arranged prosody.
It's a quandry. Zell, take heart... you are young and will have many years to help define or redefine the art. Take the above as recommendation and not as trashing the poems. As will all recommendation, you can choose to take it or not. I think if you consider it and look at your poems as you consider it, you will see the potential in your work.
a quandrified jim
In response to Rybka's query about Zell's poems, for me it falls back to something I have been struggling with of late, that is the question, "What is poetry?" The struggle I have faced with poetry dates back to my reading an article by Dana Gioia. Originally published in Atlantic Monthly, I first read Can Poetry Matter? in Gioia's book by the same title. This article got me questioning what I have written and what a lot of others have written. Now when I read, I find myself wondering if I am reading poetry or merely subdivided prose.
In looking at zell's poems, I first read "The Dagger" and immediately thought prose. Of course, written in a prose poem form, it jumped at me as perhaps flash fiction, and not poetry. That was my immediate reaction.
Moving onto his three other poems, I quickly realized that here was an example of what I have heard called prosody. As I read, I scanned the work for signs of poetry, for poetic language, for simile or metaphor, for imagery. I looked for rhyme, whether end rhyme or internal, I looked for alliteration, assonance, consonance, for something that could be associated with poetry.
The repetition in Father was intense, almost overpowering, but did it suddenly turn the prose into poetry? For me it didn't. I felt all three works: "Father" "Robert" and "A Brother's Love" were, in their current form, prose, or using the new catch phrase, prosody.
I agree with Fool, that there is potential here. I think if zell treated each of these works as drafts and tightened up the work. By working the language, taking advantage of the repetition by using some alliteration, perhaps some rhyme, zell's empassioned prose would become powerful poetry.
Back to "The Dagger"... after reading his three other poems, I realized that, despite its form, "The Dagger" is really the closest of all three to poetry. The dagger is a metaphor here. Again, I think this poem needs some further work, but I do have some level of comfort calling it a poem.
And yes, the dagger cuts both ways... as darkmaas alluded, my "The Numerology of Trees" (which I wrote in 1998 before I found myself in the poetry versus prosody quandry) is, looking at it critically, subdivided prose. Of course, my knee-jerk reply is, in its concrete form, with the lines arranged to resemble a bonsai, perhaps it becomes poetry. Or is that simply nicely arranged prosody.
It's a quandry. Zell, take heart... you are young and will have many years to help define or redefine the art. Take the above as recommendation and not as trashing the poems. As will all recommendation, you can choose to take it or not. I think if you consider it and look at your poems as you consider it, you will see the potential in your work.
a quandrified jim
BooMerengue
Literotica Guru
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- Mar 15, 2002
- Posts
- 5,456
JT... thank you zillions for that post! I have been trying to discern the difference since my first offering. A friend called it 'bastard prose' rather than prosody, but I think that's what he meant. Maybe I'm old school... I really don't think I've written more than 4 poems... the rest are what I call make believe poems.
I tried emulating others here and elsewhere but ended up throwing them in the delete can... it may have gotten high marks, but it's not poetry. I still come to read and learn, but I've quit writing... for now.
But at least now I know where my writer's block comes from. Thank you again!
I tried emulating others here and elsewhere but ended up throwing them in the delete can... it may have gotten high marks, but it's not poetry. I still come to read and learn, but I've quit writing... for now.
But at least now I know where my writer's block comes from. Thank you again!
G
Guest
Guest
Re Angeline's "His Ocean, Her Sea":
Visions of starfish moths aside, this poem was amazing. The power, depth, and gentleness of the subject all came through oh so clearly. I know there are better words, but amazing was the one that seemed to fit best..smiles..
Visions of starfish moths aside, this poem was amazing. The power, depth, and gentleness of the subject all came through oh so clearly. I know there are better words, but amazing was the one that seemed to fit best..smiles..
G
Guest
Guest
and sends a "u" along to make the moths a mouth..*lol*
jthserra
Thousand Cranes
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2003
- Posts
- 678
Hence the quandry...
Ah Boo... don't jump off the poetical bridge yet. As I said, I am in a quandry. After writing my previous comments about zells poetry, I signed off and picked up a book of poetry. The book I picked up was The World Doesn't End by Charles Simic, a book which won the 1990 Pulitzer Prize in poetry. It is a collection of prose poems, most of which are quite enjoyable. One I specifically liked was The time of minor poets... . An engaging work... but is it poetry? While above I argue, it is prose, obviously the Pulitzer judges found that it was poetry.
While I have always felt that well written prose can be poetic, can be the same as poetry, I am still torn here. I collect books from "The Best American Poetry" series. I have read a considerable amount of criticism directed to this series, especially the one guest edited by Robert Bly (I think the 2001 book). The question again was, were the poems selected for this edition poetry or prose. Robert Bly, famous for his prose poems, selected a large number of poems following his lead. The response was quite an uproar that I still read about here and there. If you look in the 2003 version of the series, guest edited by Yusef Komunyakaa contains a number of poems that read as prose. As I read, my head spins more and more... so I scan the pages and yes... yes, I find a villanelle, titled Villanelle by George Higgins. I read and curl up in a comfortable cocoon for a while.
And then there's Michael S. Harper's Rhythmic Arrangements (on prosody). I am so confused.
Take heart Boo. Don't stop writing. Practice using some poetry forms, use simile, metaphor, try some meter, some rhyme, alliteration and see if it works for you. If not, keep writing that bastard prose. Who knows, if you do it well enough you could win a Pulitzer or at the very least, a National Book Award.
Oh well, I'll wander off here and go read some more poetry (prosody, prose, bastard prose or whatever it is).
still in a quandry,
jim
Ah Boo... don't jump off the poetical bridge yet. As I said, I am in a quandry. After writing my previous comments about zells poetry, I signed off and picked up a book of poetry. The book I picked up was The World Doesn't End by Charles Simic, a book which won the 1990 Pulitzer Prize in poetry. It is a collection of prose poems, most of which are quite enjoyable. One I specifically liked was The time of minor poets... . An engaging work... but is it poetry? While above I argue, it is prose, obviously the Pulitzer judges found that it was poetry.
While I have always felt that well written prose can be poetic, can be the same as poetry, I am still torn here. I collect books from "The Best American Poetry" series. I have read a considerable amount of criticism directed to this series, especially the one guest edited by Robert Bly (I think the 2001 book). The question again was, were the poems selected for this edition poetry or prose. Robert Bly, famous for his prose poems, selected a large number of poems following his lead. The response was quite an uproar that I still read about here and there. If you look in the 2003 version of the series, guest edited by Yusef Komunyakaa contains a number of poems that read as prose. As I read, my head spins more and more... so I scan the pages and yes... yes, I find a villanelle, titled Villanelle by George Higgins. I read and curl up in a comfortable cocoon for a while.
And then there's Michael S. Harper's Rhythmic Arrangements (on prosody). I am so confused.
Take heart Boo. Don't stop writing. Practice using some poetry forms, use simile, metaphor, try some meter, some rhyme, alliteration and see if it works for you. If not, keep writing that bastard prose. Who knows, if you do it well enough you could win a Pulitzer or at the very least, a National Book Award.
Oh well, I'll wander off here and go read some more poetry (prosody, prose, bastard prose or whatever it is).
still in a quandry,
jim
BooMerengue
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2002
- Posts
- 5,456
Thanks for the encouragement, JT. But right now I'm working on character development- I want to learn to do it as short and as perfect as Stephen King. I'm also learning to organise my plots to drag out the suspense... the 2 I'm working on I have the greatest last sentences... but I'm watching- maybe some poem will trip my trigger and I'll find the perfect poem.
The_Fool
smiling for the camera
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2003
- Posts
- 17,755
BooMerengue said:
I've tried working on my character development too, but I seem to get two comments when I do. Either "You are already a character," or "You have to have character to begin with to develop more..."
Fool, scratching his head.
BooMerengue
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2002
- Posts
- 5,456
*Giving The_Fool a stern look... "Young man! I take being a character very seriously! I take my characters very seriously! I very seriously developed my character to become a serious character! Now my serious character seriously characterizes YOUR character for trying to make me look a Fool instead of a character...wait... I got it! A Serious Character!! The_Fool!! He can be my serious character!! Oh!! But I wanted a serious character- not a simpleton! Alas! Alack! But then again, she said musingly... A Fool is a Very Serious Character! He would have to be to carry it off! Unless, of course, The Serious Character really is The_ Fool!!
Tune in tomorrow for part too!!
Tune in tomorrow for part too!!
Angeline
Poet Chick
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 27,159
silver and starfish and fish and things
Oh thank you so much ssilversong. It was written with a lot of feeling for someone very special to me, and I'm so happy that what I intended came across (well, except for the starfish mouth thingy, lol).
******
On another note, I am loving everyone's responses to Rybby's query. I read zell's poems, too, and had this sense as well--of a young person with raw talent that needs direction, development.
For me, poetry is about the ability to take something that perhaps is typically seen as mundane (an urn, a landscape, a feeling, whatever) and, with the use of poetic devices--like jthserra describes--create a piece of writing that transports the reader, makes him see a universal, connects her, makes her feel. Above all, for me, a poem is a poem because it make the reader feel.
Zell can make his readers feel--that intensity comes across, especially in Robert, somewhat less so in Father. He also has a natural sense, imo, for using language as a device to convey emotion and image (the chanting quality in Father, the refrain in Robert show this). These are real plusses. I think they are key to becoming a poet--after all, you can learn alliteration or simile, but I'm not convinced that just anyone can allow herself to feel with the depth that results in great poetry.
Zell has key ingredients at hand, but he has a lot of work ahead--he needs to learn, to grow--like we all do--if he's serious about poetry. Not to be too much of a mom (but I am, lol, so deal with it), but I tell my kids all the time--everybody has potential, it's motivation and work that get you there (I am, like most parents, a pain in the ass
).
So work consistently, even when you don't feel like it. I'm not one to wait on my muse. I think one needs to write every day and read as much as possible. Think about what you read and where the way you want to write fits in, develop a voice. If he works at it, zell will get there.
Rybka, your post and the resulting responses are maybe the best thing I've seen in my two years here--this is imo how we should help each other. Thanks for reminding us why we're here. 
Oh thank you so much ssilversong.
It was written with a lot of feeling for someone very special to me, and I'm so happy that what I intended came across (well, except for the starfish mouth thingy, lol).******
On another note, I am loving everyone's responses to Rybby's query. I read zell's poems, too, and had this sense as well--of a young person with raw talent that needs direction, development.
For me, poetry is about the ability to take something that perhaps is typically seen as mundane (an urn, a landscape, a feeling, whatever) and, with the use of poetic devices--like jthserra describes--create a piece of writing that transports the reader, makes him see a universal, connects her, makes her feel. Above all, for me, a poem is a poem because it make the reader feel.
Zell can make his readers feel--that intensity comes across, especially in Robert, somewhat less so in Father. He also has a natural sense, imo, for using language as a device to convey emotion and image (the chanting quality in Father, the refrain in Robert show this). These are real plusses. I think they are key to becoming a poet--after all, you can learn alliteration or simile, but I'm not convinced that just anyone can allow herself to feel with the depth that results in great poetry.
Zell has key ingredients at hand, but he has a lot of work ahead--he needs to learn, to grow--like we all do--if he's serious about poetry. Not to be too much of a mom (but I am, lol, so deal with it), but I tell my kids all the time--everybody has potential, it's motivation and work that get you there (I am, like most parents, a pain in the ass
).So work consistently, even when you don't feel like it. I'm not one to wait on my muse. I think one needs to write every day and read as much as possible. Think about what you read and where the way you want to write fits in, develop a voice. If he works at it, zell will get there.
Rybka, your post and the resulting responses are maybe the best thing I've seen in my two years here--this is imo how we should help each other. Thanks for reminding us why we're here.
Last edited:
Angeline
Poet Chick
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- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 27,159
lol. Rybka I never answered your question--but I wouldn't equate the value of zell's poems with the 1-5 score scale here. Like I said, I assume he needs to develop. However, everyone here--certainly myself included--ought to be using spell check and proofreading to the best of his or her ability before submitting a poem. There's a world of difference between needing to learn and being sloppy.
Long-Winded in Pennsylvania,
Ange
Long-Winded in Pennsylvania,
Ange
Last edited:
The_Fool
smiling for the camera
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2003
- Posts
- 17,755
BooMerengue said:
Too? To? Two? Et Tu Brute?
Serious and Fool are mutually exclusive. They can't stand to be in the same room together. If your character is making you look like a Fool, then stay away from mirrors and cameras, they tend to break. And since its your story, your character had better watch out, because they may find themselves the victim of an affliction they would rather avoid, like a zit in the middle of the forehead, or breasts in need of scaffolding to support them or a penis held on with duck tape. Take Control! Show those characters who's the Boss!...
Anyone ever tell you how HOT!!! you look when you give that stern look?
Simply Foolish
BooMerengue
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Oh! Fool!! In the words of wisdom uttered by my sainted mother... "Flattery will get you everywhere!"
BooMerengue
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...and that is NOT a zit"she said in her best mystical voice. "That is my 3rd eye" and the little crack about the scaffolding... well all I can say is I bet you'd LOVE to be under this scaffolding when it gives way!
and silly man... I'M the writer- how can my character make me look like a fool???
uh oh... backing off that one.
and silly man... I'M the writer- how can my character make me look like a fool???
uh oh... backing off that one.
BooMerengue
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Ooops! I never noticed that echo til now... it's time for cocktails somewhere, right?
edited cuz of double post... or is it double vision?
edited cuz of double post... or is it double vision?
Last edited:
Maria2394
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I just want to take a moment to mention a poet not covered today, or since I can remember, but then I dont always see the new poems thread ( amber does, but thats another story).
Jacksbaby1 has a couple of new poems posted that I really enjoyed. the first one is Single Rose which has some beautiful imagery and although it does cover a submissive issue that some people might not enjoy, it is well written and not crude like some of the stuff I like to write. She handles it with grace and makes it seem gentle and beautiful ( which I do know it can be)
the second one isBecause You Are . Its short and also well written. She writes real good ( hehe, hillbilly slang for, I really liked it) and understanding nuance without forcing the subject, ya know? and I like her pic too, it looks like one Boo used to have, a verrrry sexy lady with hat
well, thats all, hoping I didnt embarrass myself...later ya'll
and Eve, was that you knocking earlier? tea's on I'm waitin' for when yer knockers cum a knockin'
Jacksbaby1 has a couple of new poems posted that I really enjoyed. the first one is Single Rose which has some beautiful imagery and although it does cover a submissive issue that some people might not enjoy, it is well written and not crude like some of the stuff I like to write. She handles it with grace and makes it seem gentle and beautiful ( which I do know it can be)
the second one isBecause You Are . Its short and also well written. She writes real good ( hehe, hillbilly slang for, I really liked it) and understanding nuance without forcing the subject, ya know? and I like her pic too, it looks like one Boo used to have, a verrrry sexy lady with hat
well, thats all, hoping I didnt embarrass myself...later ya'll
and Eve, was that you knocking earlier? tea's on
I'm waitin' for when yer knockers cum a knockin'
G
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Guest
Re Jacksbaby1's "Because You Are"
I really liked it tooo...
I really liked it tooo...
