Pretty please, play with me.

[Lauren Hynde]

Yeah, you have my approval! I'm not an XXX writer/poet either. And you're the person with more collaborations never to have started a chain-poem so you're IT!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Red--

When you submit, don't forget to add this before the actual body of the poem:

<i>The Poets:</i>
<a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=47052"><i>REDWAVE,</i></a> <a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=57753"><i>WickedEve,</i></a> <a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=43545"><i>TheDR4KE,</i></a> <a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=76038"><i>Rybka,</i></a> <a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=103442"><i>Lauren.Hynde,</i></a> <a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=134599"><i>lickmyboot,</i></a> <a href="http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=31318"><i>perky_baby</i></a>

That's what we've been doing with rest of the poems in this thread.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Sounds pretty good to me, except that in my opinion the last stanza is way too long. It's like an apology or explanation of the poem, rather than a concise ending that turns the meaning around. I would change the long stanza into two shorter ones, along the lines of:

I know now
that he held you
in thrall
since your early days.

My own humiliation
overshadowed
the red haze.
That awful afternoon
I walked in on you
with your father.

Quack

the D

 

[Rybka]

Next Poem

If I am supposed to start the next one, please tell me when to start! This one will not be easy, but you people are very capable, and I know you will respond to the challenge!


Regards, Rybka

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Usually, we've been waiting 3-4 days after the previous poem as been submited to Lit, so maybe at the end of the week?

Red--
Are you doing it soon? I like The D's version too, it's up to you really...

 

[Rybka]

When

O.K. Just say when.

Regards, Rybka

 

[The Poets]

REDWAVE here

OK, gang, I submitted "Ghosts." I'll let you know when it's posted, and post the link.

Also, I notice "Love Lies in the Rain" and "Romeo Is Bleeding" both have high ratings, but only 6 votes. Anyone reading this, if you haven't voted on them yet, please do! Thanks.

 

[TheDR4KE]

Re: REDWAVE here

OK, gang, I submitted "Ghosts." I'll let you know when it's posted, and post the link.

What was the final version?

 

[REDWAVE]

I'm myself again! What a relief!

Phwew, I'm myself again. It was a real strain being all seven of us at once. So many different weird and wondrous thoughts running through my head, all at cross purposes to each other . . .


Drake, I considered your suggestion carefully, but I decided to go with my ending. I did break it up into two stanzas, though. I can see what you were going for, though: making it a little more compact, and saving the "zinger" for the very end.

 

[TheDR4KE]

shaking myself

You think that was bad, imagine poor us who were inside you for that moment.

Looking forward to seeing the final piece. Great poetry play you started Red. Nice work.

Quack

the D

 

[REDWAVE]

"Ghosts" is up!

Everyone please vote on it! Here's the link:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=56932

 

[The Poets]

For the Love of Luna's Light
Votes: 13
Score: 4.08

Ghosts
Votes: 4
Score: 4.50

Love Lies in the Rain
Votes: 6
Score: 4.67

Romeo Is Bleeding: a hypersonnet
Votes: 6
Score: 4.67

 

[Rybka]

ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?

Are we ready for a new challenge? I have a hard one for you.

HINT: "bow" and "bough" are homonyms. "Bow" [genuflect] and "Bow" [tree limb] are homographs. What do you call "Bow" [and arrow] and "bow" [genuflect] ?


Regards, Rybka

 

[JUDO]

homophones - one of two more more words, such as night and knight, that are pronounced the same but differ in meaning, origin, and sometimes spelling.


- Judo

 

[Rybka]

Homophones ??

WRONG!
"Bow" [and arrow] and "bow" [genuflect] ? are not pronounced the same. You are going to have trouble with this next poem!

Regards, Rybka

 

[WickedEve]

Do we have to let Rybka play?

When are you posting the first stanza, Rybka?

 

[JUDO]

Sorry, my confusion...they're heteronymns.

And yes, likely I will have difficulty.


- Judo

 

[Rybka]

New Poem

Tell me when you want it. It is ready now.

Regards, Rybka

 

[JUDO]

Wicked wants it when she wants everything...
That would be now.


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

I have no patience! Gimme! Post the darn thing Rybka! Hurry! (where's my whip?)

 

[Rybka]

Heteronyms

Thank you Judo. You are correct, "heteronyms" is the word. I had never heard it before.

I have the instructions and the first stanza ready whenever everybody else is ready to have a try.

Regards, Rybka

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Heteronyms

Thank you Judo. You are correct, "heteronyms" is the word. I had never heard it before.

I have the instructions and the first stanza ready whenever everybody else is ready to have a try.

Regards, Rybka

Rybka, my dear man/woman/fish, you need to post it so everybody can see whether or not they want to participate.

 

[Rybka]

O.K. Gang, Try This!

The theme is the perception of time slowing down under certain conditions, i.e. going "into the zone" in sports. I have had it happen several times when I was angry, and once during sex [Which was the greatest that I have ever had, the climax lasted forever.]. This one can be both erotic and/or non-erotic as you see fit.

The rhyme scheme is:
A
A
B
heterograph A
heterograph A
B
B

[If you need a list of homonyms you can do a Google search and find plenty. Such as: http://www.cooper.com/alan/homonym.html]

syllables:
7
7
6
7
7
6
8

Severed Time In A Row

Several times in a row
and I'm not even sure now
that it ever happened
my lover seemed just to flow
and movement began to slow
like time itself was penned,
a bottle of ketchup on end.



Regards and good luck, Rybka

 

[JUDO]

Okay, since you didn't provide one...

Heterographs are words that are spelled the same but may not be pronounced the same. "slow" and "flow" are not heterographs. Also, "row" and "now" do not rhyme (they are not A's).

I don't see a heterograph in your stanza, Rybka.

???
- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

I read about homographic heterophones and homophonic heterographs last night, then read Rybka's poem again. I'm a little confused.

Rybka, I think your fist stanza is really good.