Pretty please, play with me.

[perks]

I never realized
that your brains were scrambled
that your insides were churning and twisted
or that I
was perpendicular to your plane
REDWAVE

I was clueless,
despite a precipitous trail of hints
trampled over,
and left to writhe in obscurity.
WickedEve

I didn't think
to ask, to look, to question.
Not so much you,
although it is you to whom this apology goes out,
but rather me.
TheDR4KE

I seldom sensed
how much it was I missed.
A little less is life worth now.
Shrunken my world
to grumbling in the gloom.
Rybka

I should have heard,
in spite of your hushed appeals,
the echoing throb of your ghost,
known your heart's desires,
the metallic taste of your blood.
Lauren Hynde

I bent to my delirium
the shadowed voices rushing in my ears
I pushed beyond your limits,
pleasure twisting to pain--recoiling back unto itself
I laid you bare
lickmyboot

I swallowed your hurt
knowing your thoughts
knowing your mind
realizing, afterall
I mirrored you.
perky

 

[TheDR4KE]

Great to have you writing again too loverduck. And good work!

Quack

the D

 

[WickedEve]

Oh! A perky post on the poetry board!
It's nice to have Mr. and Mrs. Duck back.

Quack quack

 

[Blarneystoned]

haha...and what a great rule #4 that was..haha

Remind me to make some more rules Eve so you can enhance your signature lines...haha..Let me ask Unc Bubba for a few hints on oak tree spitoon art..haha


Blarney

 

[lickmyboot]

Oooo! I like it Perky! Liked our poem on the yum & Cum thread too...

 

[lickmyboot]

oops--that should read your poem on the Yum & Cum thread. Apparently I'm into to group things today...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

oops--that should read your poem on the Yum & Cum thread. Apparently I'm into to group things today...

That's not a bad thing...

 

[Blarneystoned]

Hey Lauren..where is my Bier please? Wo ist mein Bier bitte?

haha...I would like some Weissbier and some Schwarzbier...no Hellesbier bitte...The white and black is zen in beer. Yin and Yang in bitter struggles between yeast, hops, and barley...reminds me of earth, wind, and fire...all in a watery compost. Now that is living the Tao...haha


Blarney out

 

[lickmyboot]

Miss LH

It's all good!

Is anyone else having trouble submitting? I just tried to submit a new poem to the site and the standard message of obsurity. Maybe it's just me.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I'm having trouble submitting too, but that's because I can't finish writing the friggin thing! But seriously, that happens sometimes. Try again in a few minutes.

And B-
I don't drink beer.

 

[Blarneystoned]

Im flexible..

How bout a Riesling bottle or three then..haha...there is no zen in wine though...well maybe rice wine...but hey I want some German goods for the birthday..haha...If I want some Japanese goods I will buy a TV and drive my car..haha

Here take two of these and call me in the morning..It always takes away my writers block..haha

 

[lickmyboot]

Ha! Ha! Success. Now have to wait so pa tient ly for them to post. *sigh* No instant gratification. I want it now. NOW. I need it...oh god...have to go read a story....too wet for words.

 

[WickedEve]

I never realized
that your brains were scrambled
that your insides were churning and twisted
or that I
was perpendicular to your plane
REDWAVE

I was clueless,
despite a precipitous trail of hints
trampled over,
and left to writhe in obscurity.
WickedEve

I didn't think
to ask, to look, to question.
Not so much you,
although it is you to whom this apology goes out,
but rather me.
TheDR4KE

I seldom sensed
how much it was I missed.
A little less is life worth now.
Shrunken my world
to grumbling in the gloom.
Rybka

I should have heard,
in spite of your hushed appeals,
the echoing throb of your ghost,
known your heart's desires,
the metallic taste of your blood.
Lauren Hynde

I bent to my delirium
the shadowed voices rushing in my ears
I pushed beyond your limits,
pleasure twisting to pain--recoiling back unto itself
I laid you bare
lickmyboot

I swallowed your hurt
knowing your thoughts
knowing your mind
realizing, afterall
I mirrored you.
perky

What do you think, Red? You think perky's stanza wraps it up?

 

[REDWAVE]

Maybe . . .

It could. I'd like to hold it open a little longer, and see if anyone else throws something in the pot.

Then Chef REDWAVE will stir and season to taste.

Good taste or bad taste-- I'm not sure which.

 

[REDWAVE]

Edit

OK, it looks like no one else is going to throw anything in. So here's my suggestion for the final version:


GHOSTS


I never realized
that your brains were scrambled
that your insides were churning and twisted
or that I
was perpendicular to your plane

I was clueless,
despite a precipitous trail of hints
trampled over,
and left to writhe in obscurity.

I didn't think
to ask, to look, to question.
and it is not you
nor I to whom I have to make amends
But to the sheer unimaginable

I seldom sensed
how much it was I missed.
Life is worth a little less now.
Shrunken my world
to grumbling in the gloom.

I should have heard
in spite of your hushed appeals,
the echoing throb of your ghost,
known your heart's desires,
the metallic taste of your blood.

I bent to my delirium
the shadowed voices rushing in my ears
I pushed beyond your limits,
pleasure twisting to pain-- recoiling back
unto itself
I laid you bare

I swallowed your hurt
knowing your thoughts
knowing your mind
realizing afterall
I mirrored you.

That awful afternoon
I walked in on you with your father
is still palpable
He'd held you in thrall since your early days--
I know that now
but at the time
all I could see
besides the red haze
was the shame of my own humiliation


I'd like to thank all of you for your contribution. Everyone's stanza was very good, in my opinion. I especially liked lickmyboot's line "I bent to my delirium" and Lauren's line "the metallic taste of your blood." [Note to myself: Never let Lauren get her mouth anywhere near my throat.] As you can see, I did minimal editing (other than adding another stanza) because the text was already quite good. I changed part of Drake's stanza to foreshadow my ending. I also rearranged one of Rybka's lines because inverted word order is IMO flowery and artificial.

I've claimed the right to "final cut," since I started this and that's become the custom, and no one's contested that, but I do want to consult with anyone who has input. So I'm open to any suggestions to make this better.

So wutta ya think, dudes and dudettes?

 

[Elda Furry]

I like it, Red. It turned out to be a fascinating poem. I need to send you the password so you can submit it when you're ready.

Edit: oops... I mean WE will send me the password, and I'll send it to you. (I'm such a fur head)

 

[WickedEve]

 

[REDWAVE]

Damn, Eve-- you're the fuckin' av queen, lol. Your new av nearly made me go off in my pants!

I guess that goes to show I should always view Lit. in the nude, huh?

Thanks for the password, Furry. If no one has any suggestions, I'll post it soon. Vote!

 

[WickedEve]

Damn, Eve-- you're the fuckin' av queen, lol. Your new av nearly made me go off in my pants!

Nearly? I must try harder! Or maybe you should try harder, Red.

 

[REDWAVE]

I managed to restrain myself just in time.

 

[Rybka]

word order

inverted word order is IMO flowery and artificial.

I disagree. Plus It adds an alternative meaning, but you are the "Poem Boss" so you are free to do what you wish, with my permission, acquiescence, etc.

Regards, Rybka

 

[Lauren Hynde]

This one turned out great. Thank you Red, your guidance was superb. I wouldn't change a thing.

I can't even remember where I got that metallic taste from, so my mouth should be pretty safe...

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Re: word order

I disagree. Plus It adds an alternative meaning, but you are the "Poem Boss" so you are free to do what you wish, with my permission, acquiescence, etc.

Regards, Rybka

Besides, I think you're next

 

[Rybka]

Me Next??

If I am next, then I need approval from the other potential contributors.
I am not an XXX writer, poet, etc.

I will start a new work if you [inclusive] want me to. Most of my writing is non-erotic.

Regards, Rybka confused:

 

[WickedEve]

Re: Me Next??

If I am next, then I need approval from the other potential contributors.
I am not an XXX writer, poet, etc.

I will start a new work if you [inclusive] want me to. Most of my writing is non-erotic.

Regards, Rybka confused:

Most of us on the board write erotic and non erotic.