Pretty please, play with me.

[WickedEve]

Eve

A twist in the tale and tail -
all goes well with wicked plot.
Should Eve share dirty detail?
A twist in the tale and tail.
Rowdy Ted prepared to impale.
Quickly before Wicked is caught!
A twist in the tale and tail -
all goes well with wicked plot.



Angeline, in the first stanza that I did, I need to make a change.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief,
snatched by nimble little fingers -
feminine hands is her belief.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief
looking for D battery relief -
Eve unaware as vibration lingers.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief,
snatched by nimble little fingers.

 

[Rybka]

It's coming along fine

Just a couple of thoughts.

_Land
Ted stood full fourteen inches long
and more than three around.
No wonder someone stole this dong.

Just my personal preference, but I don't like "dong". How about "schlong" instead?



Also, the line in GoodGuy2's stanza:

iIt fucks itself with Eve's prized prick!

There is an extra leading "i", and I don't like "prick". How about "stick"?



Finally, in the last stanza"

Land

Back to the task at hand
Or poor ted will be abused
The thief has Wicked planned
Back to the task at hand
For ted a ransom demand
Angeline you look amused
Back to the task at hand
But the jury's not excused

The last line should be the same as the second, shouldn't it?



Just MHOs,             Rybka

 

[Angeline]

Thanks Editors!

I was tired when I did that post last night and knew it had things that needed to be fixed, but was too darn out of it to do it. Thank you both for noting the corrections.

Eve- i knew i would miss that pronoun shift somewhere. thanks.

Rybka-thanks for the excellent suggestions. Schlong is a very funny word--great choice!

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Oh, schlong's the best! I can't believe it in that song I'm sure I posted before... Now where is it?...

here it is!

Less than 26 hours until I get my life back! This poem is turning out great!

 

[Angeline]

Pardon Me, Lauren?

My Lauren, my darling. Did you just say "Oh, Schlong is the best"? I mean, I think that's what you said. Can I quote you on that? Can I put it on a bumper sticker? Ok, maybe I'm in a silly mood today, but "Oh, Schlong is the best" is giving me serious giggles and inspiring a poem.

what the hell is it with
a boy and his schlong
why the obsession with
thick and long and on
and on the the endless
jokes the elbow pokes
the sneaky references
entendres sent to me
with eyebrow raised
to see if gaze might
drop or i might blush
it's very silly makes
me snicker one time
at a party i saw this
guy who couldn't hold
his liquor take it out--
that's right his godamn
schlong--and stick it in
a hot dog roll and guys
were whooping it up
like this poor soul
were milton berle.
maybe i don't get it
cause i'm just a girl.

 

[JUDO]

Since you've shifted the time of when my stanza occured and inserted "the dildo" where originally there was "the purloined one," would you mind putting the words "the venerable schlong" there instead? The meter and word choice is more pleasing to my ear than "the dildo."

It should looks like this:

In bed, a thief dreamed long and clear
Of the venerable schlong that it now so loved.
Inhaling deep, pictured it here.
In bed, a thief dreamed long and clear
Of its size, its fit--the perfect gear
For desire and need as it hotly shoved
In bed, the thief dreamed long and clear
Of the venerable schlong that it now so loved.

Hmmm? Yes? No?


- Judo

 

[Rybka]

If you want your dildo back. . . ask Dorothy!

Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Ding dong the schlong is gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong
Ding dong the Wicked slong is gone
Ding dong the schlong is gone
It went where the goblins spawn
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, we'll beat a gong
Ding dong the schlong is gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong


Regards, Rybka

 

[_Land]

Re: If you want your dildo back. . . ask Dorothy!

OMFG LMBFHAO, HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
hehehehehehehehe
this hurts

Follow the Yellow Brick Road!

Ding dong the schlong is gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong
Ding dong the Wicked slong is gone
Ding dong the schlong is gone
It went where the goblins spawn
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, we'll beat a gong
Ding dong the schlong is gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong


Regards, Rybka

 

[Angeline]

All corrections/revisions shall be made

Judo, every time I see your phrase "the venerable schlong," it makes me think the literary classic "The Venerable Bede." Probably they mean about the same. lol

Rybka, you're a damn genius!

 

[WickedEve]

Only one thing matters...

All I want to know is where is my dildo, dong, schlong, cock, dick, vibrator, phallic toy, Mr. Make-Pussy-Happy, whatever you want to call it, and when am I getting it back?!!!

 

[Angeline]

Ohhh

now you want it back? Now that it's a venerable schlong....Last time I heard you were dissin it in favor of butt plugs!

 

[JUDO]

Re: Only one thing matters...

All I want to know is where is my dildo, dong, schlong, cock, dick, vibrator, phallic toy, Mr. Make-Pussy-Happy, whatever you want to call it, and when am I getting it back?!!!

Okay, darling. You want it back? Hmmm? Then tell me - what will little Eve do for it? I can think of some nasty, dirty fun stuff, can you?

And who says it's "Mr. Make-Pussy-Happy" anyway?


- Judo

 

[WickedEve]

Judo, it's shaped like a dick, so I'm ASSuming it's a Mister!
I'll do anything to get it back! I need it! Gotta have it!
Yes, Angeline I dissed it over an old butt plug. But I was wrong. I need what the dildo can give me.

 

[Rybka]

More From The Wizard Of Cooze

What was that Toto was chewing on and then buried in the backyard?


Actually I need to correct a typo and change a word in a line. Which gives us:

Ding dong the dildo's gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong
Ding dong the Wicked schlong is gone
Ding dong the dildo's gone
It went where the goblins spawn
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, we'll beat a gong
Ding dong the dildo's gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong

Regards,                         The Magic Fish

 

[OT]

Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he was returned with a sigh last night
the thief was exhausted and could take no more
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
she's walking bow legged and deliciously sore
exhausted from Teddy's delight
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he was returned with a sigh last night


It's not my intent to prematurely end this caper, so feel free to leave this stanza on the cutting room floor. (really)

O.T.

prose portal

 

[WickedEve]

Angeline, if my new "A twist in the tale and tail - " stanza doesn't work with the story, then just pretend like it's not there.

 

[JUDO]

Judo, it's shaped like a dick, so I'm ASSuming it's a Mister!
I'll do anything to get it back! I need it! Gotta have it!
Yes, Angeline I dissed it over an old butt plug. But I was wrong. I need what the dildo can give me.

On your hands and knees
Please close your eyes,
And Judo will give you
A big surprise!

 

[WickedEve]

On your hands and knees
Please close your eyes,
And Judo will give you
A big surprise!

A credit card and a license to shop? Oh baby, you know how to get me hot!

 

[Angeline]

LMAO

Eve, your plot twist is wonderful. You all are! Between you and Judo fighting over schlongy and Rybka's Wizard of Cooze stanzas, I kind of feel like Al Pacino in the film "And Justice for All," when he starts screaming "This court is out of order!" I've never seen poets run amuck before, LOL.

(Or is it that I just want to feel Al Pacino? I like that guy. But never mind that. )

 

[WickedEve]

What a bitch to edit!

Angeline, I made the changes that were requested in the last posts. And I made a few changes to try to get this to make sense... still needs a little more fine tuning. See what you think so far.

PART 1: Our Hero, Rowdy Ted, is Taken

Angeline
Eve's dildo was named Rowdy Ted.
Her favored "boy," so thick so strong
who lived sequestered by the bed.
Eve's dildo was named Rowdy Ted.
When powered up, when glowing red,
abuzz he whirred libido's song.
Eve's dildo was named Rowdy Ted.
Her favored "boy," so thick so strong

JUDO
In bed, a thief dreamed long and clear
Of the venerable schlong that it now so loved.
Inhaling deep, pictured it here.
In bed, a thief dreamed long and clear
Of its size, its fit--the perfect gear
For desire and need as it hotly shoved
In bed, the thief dreamed long and clear
Of the venerable schlong that it now so loved.

ANGELINE
One moonlit night, a thief stole in
a-creeping quiet toward Eve's bed
lost in desire compelled to sin
One moonlit night, a thief stole in
and claimed Ted with triumphant grin
and capered, moaning lust and dread
one moonlit night, the thief stole in
a-creeping quiet toward Eve's bed

_Land
Ted stood full fourteen inches long
and more than three around.
No wonder someone stole this schlong.
Ted stood full fourteen inches long.
Tis no surprise twas praised in song.
Such length and girth astound.
Ted stood full fourteen inches long.
and more than three around.

The Drake
Rowdy Ted was a Wicked dildo,
who took the treasure Eve had to give
and left her asleep, her head on the pillow.
Rowdy Ted was a Wicked dildo.
An open window; the curtains billow;
our darling was visited by a thief!
Rowdy Ted was a Wicked dildo.
Who took the treasure Eve had to give?

Wicked Eve
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief,
snatched by nimble sticky fingers -
feminine hands is her belief.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief
in search of a little D battery relief -
Eve unaware as vibration lingers.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief,
snatched by nimble sticky fingers.

Rybka
Who stole Ted the rowdy dildo?
Who is our Wicked Nemesis,
perhaps a hobbit named Bilbo?
Who stole Ted the rowdy dildo?
Who knows how far this thief will go,
a new trilogy genesis?
Who stole Ted the rowdy dildo?
Who is our Wicked Nemesis?

INTERLUDE: A NARRATOR SPEAKS

OT
I think the size is incorrect
it not that big of a deal
it was embellished for effect
I think the size is incorrect
you'll never find your suspect
searching for the wrong size squeal
I think the size is incorrect
it not that big of a deal

PART 2: TED'S TRAVAILS

Angeline
In a lonely hovel by the sea
ringed in witch grass, set apart
behold this monstrous tragedy
In a lonely hovel by the sea
It keens and holds Ted tenderly
A twice-made thief with poet's heart
In a lonely hovel by the sea
ringed in witch grass, set apart

Goodguy2
It stole the member long and thick,
payback for imagined scorn?
It fucks itself with Eve's prized stick!
It stole the member long and thick
I’ll take another, it forewarned.
It stole the member long and thick.
payback for imagined scorn?

Angeline
Ted's thief is foul and also shrewd
its greatest fear: that it be seen
or victimized by poets rude
Ted's thief is foul and also shrewd
It plies a plot that's dark and crude:
sneaks Ted in bed with Angeline!
Ted's thief is foul and also shrewd
its greatest fear: that it be seen

Angeline
My lord it's big as a baleen!
Whispered softly to herself.
Transfixed was honest Angeline.
My lord it's big as a baleen!
Why should he serve the Wicked queen-
await her, lonely, on some shelf?
My lord it's big as a baleen!
Whispered softly to herself.

Dizzy
Rowdy Ted is cheating,
in and out, of her delight.
His heft her false unseating.
Rowdy Ted is cheating,
all thoughts of Eve’s loss fleeting,
as Angeline enjoys her plight
Rowdy Ted is cheating,
in and out, of her delight.

REDWAVE
Why should the girls have all the fun?
Said wicked REDWAVE in his cave.
I'll ream myself to kingdom come.
Why should the girls have all the fun?
There's plenty there for everyone!
Fourteen will make me scream and rave.
Why should the girls have all the fun?
Said wicked REDWAVE in his cave.

Angeline
With timid knock upon cave door,
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed,
Take him please she doth implore.
With timid knock upon cave door,
Dear REDWAVE keep it evermore:
Take it--my God--it’s possessed!
With timid knock upon cave door,
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed.

_Land
Poor angeline is plumb wore out
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed
A hussy, a dildo whore no doubt
Poor Angeline is plumb wore out
Old Ted has fucked her made her shout
Poor Wicked Eve she is depressed
Poor angeline is plumb wore out
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed

INTERLUDE: THE NARRATOR GROWS IMPATIENT

Land
Back to the task at hand
Or poor Ted will be abused
The thief has Wicked planned
Back to the task at hand
For ted a ransom demand
Angeline you're not amused
Back to the task at hand
Or poor Ted will be abused

Wrapping up the Twisted Tale!

Eve
A twist in the tale and tail -
all goes well with wicked plot.
Should Eve share some dirty detail?
A twist in the tale and tail.
Rowdy Ted prepared to impale.
Quickly before Wicked is caught!
A twist in the tale and tail -
all goes well with wicked plot.

Eve
There is no thief but Wicked
who dreams of dildo cult,
with mindless minions eager to stick it.
There is no thief but Wicked -
Mistress of The Rowdy Thick Ted.
Eve is impressed with randy result.
There is no thief but Wicked
who dreams of dildo cult.

OT
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he was returned with a sigh last night
REDWAVE was exhausted and could take no more
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he's walking bow legged and deliciously sore
exhausted from Teddy's delight
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he was returned with a sigh last night

The moral of the story? I don't know. But here's a little song:

Rybka
Ding dong the dildo's gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong
Ding dong the Wicked schlong is gone
Ding dong the dildo's gone
It went where the goblins spawn
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, we'll beat a gong
Ding dong the dildo's gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong

 

[_Land]

Re: What a bitch to edit!

That was a fun and sexciting challenge, WHo is next for making a chalenge? Thanks for the fun Angeline

Angeline, I made the changes that were requested in the last posts. And I made a few changes to try to get this to make sense... still needs a little more fine tuning. See what you think so far.

PART 1: Our Hero, Rowdy Ted, is Taken

Angeline
Eve's dildo was named Rowdy Ted.
Her favored "boy," so thick so strong
who lived sequestered by the bed.
Eve's dildo was named Rowdy Ted.
When powered up, when glowing red,
abuzz he whirred libido's song.
Eve's dildo was named Rowdy Ted.
Her favored "boy," so thick so strong

JUDO
In bed, a thief dreamed long and clear
Of the venerable schlong that it now so loved.
Inhaling deep, pictured it here.
In bed, a thief dreamed long and clear
Of its size, its fit--the perfect gear
For desire and need as it hotly shoved
In bed, the thief dreamed long and clear
Of the venerable schlong that it now so loved.

ANGELINE
One moonlit night, a thief stole in
a-creeping quiet toward Eve's bed
lost in desire compelled to sin
One moonlit night, a thief stole in
and claimed Ted with triumphant grin
and capered, moaning lust and dread
one moonlit night, the thief stole in
a-creeping quiet toward Eve's bed

_Land
Ted stood full fourteen inches long
and more than three around.
No wonder someone stole this schlong.
Ted stood full fourteen inches long.
Tis no surprise twas praised in song.
Such length and girth astound.
Ted stood full fourteen inches long.
and more than three around.

The Drake
Rowdy Ted was a Wicked dildo,
who took the treasure Eve had to give
and left her asleep, her head on the pillow.
Rowdy Ted was a Wicked dildo.
An open window; the curtains billow;
our darling was visited by a thief!
Rowdy Ted was a Wicked dildo.
Who took the treasure Eve had to give?

Wicked Eve
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief,
snatched by nimble sticky fingers -
feminine hands is her belief.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief
in search of a little D battery relief -
Eve unaware as vibration lingers.
Rowdy Ted was taken by a thief,
snatched by nimble sticky fingers.

Rybka
Who stole Ted the rowdy dildo?
Who is our Wicked Nemesis,
perhaps a hobbit named Bilbo?
Who stole Ted the rowdy dildo?
Who knows how far this thief will go,
a new trilogy genesis?
Who stole Ted the rowdy dildo?
Who is our Wicked Nemesis?

INTERLUDE: A NARRATOR SPEAKS

OT
I think the size is incorrect
it not that big of a deal
it was embellished for effect
I think the size is incorrect
you'll never find your suspect
searching for the wrong size squeal
I think the size is incorrect
it not that big of a deal

PART 2: TED'S TRAVAILS

Angeline
In a lonely hovel by the sea
ringed in witch grass, set apart
behold this monstrous tragedy
In a lonely hovel by the sea
It keens and holds Ted tenderly
A twice-made thief with poet's heart
In a lonely hovel by the sea
ringed in witch grass, set apart

Goodguy2
It stole the member long and thick,
payback for imagined scorn?
It fucks itself with Eve's prized stick!
It stole the member long and thick
I’ll take another, it forewarned.
It stole the member long and thick.
payback for imagined scorn?

Angeline
Ted's thief is foul and also shrewd
its greatest fear: that it be seen
or victimized by poets rude
Ted's thief is foul and also shrewd
It plies a plot that's dark and crude:
sneaks Ted in bed with Angeline!
Ted's thief is foul and also shrewd
its greatest fear: that it be seen

Angeline
My lord it's big as a baleen!
Whispered softly to herself.
Transfixed was honest Angeline.
My lord it's big as a baleen!
Why should he serve the Wicked queen-
await her, lonely, on some shelf?
My lord it's big as a baleen!
Whispered softly to herself.

Dizzy
Rowdy Ted is cheating,
in and out, of her delight.
His heft her false unseating.
Rowdy Ted is cheating,
all thoughts of Eve’s loss fleeting,
as Angeline enjoys her plight
Rowdy Ted is cheating,
in and out, of her delight.

REDWAVE
Why should the girls have all the fun?
Said wicked REDWAVE in his cave.
I'll ream myself to kingdom come.
Why should the girls have all the fun?
There's plenty there for everyone!
Fourteen will make me scream and rave.
Why should the girls have all the fun?
Said wicked REDWAVE in his cave.

Angeline
With timid knock upon cave door,
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed,
Take him please she doth implore.
With timid knock upon cave door,
Dear REDWAVE keep it evermore:
Take it--my God--it’s possessed!
With timid knock upon cave door,
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed.

_Land
Poor angeline is plumb wore out
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed
A hussy, a dildo whore no doubt
Poor Angeline is plumb wore out
Old Ted has fucked her made her shout
Poor Wicked Eve she is depressed
Poor angeline is plumb wore out
exhausted, ill, and barely dressed

INTERLUDE: THE NARRATOR GROWS IMPATIENT

Land
Back to the task at hand
Or poor Ted will be abused
The thief has Wicked planned
Back to the task at hand
For ted a ransom demand
Angeline you're not amused
Back to the task at hand
Or poor Ted will be abused

Wrapping up the Twisted Tale!

Eve
A twist in the tale and tail -
all goes well with wicked plot.
Should Eve share some dirty detail?
A twist in the tale and tail.
Rowdy Ted prepared to impale.
Quickly before Wicked is caught!
A twist in the tale and tail -
all goes well with wicked plot.

Eve
There is no thief but Wicked
who dreams of dildo cult,
with mindless minions eager to stick it.
There is no thief but Wicked -
Mistress of The Rowdy Thick Ted.
Eve is impressed with randy result.
There is no thief but Wicked
who dreams of dildo cult.

OT
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he was returned with a sigh last night
REDWAVE was exhausted and could take no more
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he's walking bow legged and deliciously sore
exhausted from Teddy's delight
Ted is back safe in the bedside drawer
he was returned with a sigh last night

The moral of the story? I don't know. But here's a little song:

Rybka
Ding dong the dildo's gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong
Ding dong the Wicked schlong is gone
Ding dong the dildo's gone
It went where the goblins spawn
Hi Ho, Hi Ho, we'll beat a gong
Ding dong the dildo's gone
Which old schlong, the Wicked's dong

 

[WickedEve]

Wait...

We have to submit this one, first! lol Then after we do, why don't you start the next one.

 

[_Land]

Re: Wait...

*twists his Hands Evily* hehehehehe

We have to submit this one, first! lol Then after we do, why don't you start the next one.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Don't you guys think you're jumping the gun a bit?

This is still not over... I know there are a few surprises up a certain person's sleeve, a certain person whom I've asked to make these edits almost a week ago so that I could write a couple of stanzas myself but a person who's probably just too fucking busy writing her own poems to listen to what I say anymore...

Thank you, Eve.

 

[Angeline]

Lauren? Huh?

Who are you talking about?